No Hablo Espanol

My mother-in-law has a fantastic sense of humor. The reason I know this is because everyone in the room laughs at her jokes. Except me. I am looking at my husband, waiting for a translation. Then I laugh, after everyone else in the room has become quiet again. My husband thinks that my Spanish is as good as his Mom's English. Which is actually not bad, but we are both suffering from a low confidence level and are afraid of trying and making a silly mistake.

When we went to Monterrey to visit La Familia just after Christmas last year, my Spanish started really coming back to me, at least in my head. There is something to that immersion concept. But the one time I tried to speak out loud, I told Javier's male cousin that he was my favorite out of all the cousins. Which would've been great, only I used the feminine version of cousin instead of the masculine. I was horrified. He was very nice about it and laughed, but I haven't tried to say anything out loud since.

I can't believe that after 6 years of grade school Spanish and 3 years of college, I can't form a sentence. I can say, "Hola, como esta?" and "Bien, gracias", and simple phrases like "bonita camisa" (pretty shirt) and "la comida - deliciosa!" (the food - delicious!") But I always leave out the verbs! I know I'll just screw up the verb tense, so I don't say it at all. Which I'm sure sounds worse than screwing it up, but I'm just SO afraid.

So my new goal in life is to have conversations with my mother-in-law. I thought about asking Jav to speak to me only in Spanish, but I'm afraid that might make me frustrated and lead to a fight. I may try leaving our TV on Spanish overdubbing, all the time. I might subscribe to a Spanish newspaper. All I know is that I refuse to give up on this project (like so many others I have started). I want to be able to converse with my husband's family, whom I now consider my family. There's just only so much nodding and smiling you can do!

Soulful instrument

I recently discovered that alot of my favorite songs of all time have a common thread - the Hammond organ. Now, these are not like gospel music, where organ is the main instrument you hear. Either there's a really cool organ solo, or there's just an undercurrent underneath all the other instruments.

Some of the early songs I like with organ are:
The song that started it all for me, my very favorite Beatles song of all time -
I'm Looking Through You (it's on Rubber Soul)
Time of the Season - the Zombies
Never My Love - The Association
Been Too Long on the Road - Bread

Some more recent ones (I'm glad the Hammond hasn't faded into obscurity)
Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot - Sting (ok - I'll admit this one is pretty gospel-like)
Wouldn't Mama Be Proud - Elliot Smith
Speedway at Nazareth - Mark Knopfler
Come On Home - Indigo Girls

Maybe there's a correlation between being raised listening to hymns every Sunday and liking organ in popular songs. I just know that even though the addition of the instrument is very subtle, these songs seem richer and fuller because of that addition. And above all more soulful.

My new favorite show

I absolutely love The Office (the Americanized version) on NBC Tuesdays at 8:30. Now, I never saw the BBC version, which was supposedly even funnier. Maybe that's a good thing, because I have nothing to compare it to and be disappointed. All I can say is that it cracks me up like nothing that's been on TV since Seinfeld. My new heroine is Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam the receptionist. I can SO associate with this character, having had many jobs that I tolerated because I didn't really want to go through the trouble of looking for another one. She has mastered the look of "pained resignation" to perfection. She looks like at any moment she might shout out, "I don't need this #@$#$%%ing job, and I'm sick of you @#$$#*& people!" I love watching her face through the episodes. I'm afraid that I may have that look on my face from time to time, even at my current job. If you've never sat in a cubicle, or had to sit through inane meetings, or listened to the one annoying coworker that remembers everybody's birthday and keeps track of office supplies, then you won't get this show. But if you live that life, if you loved the movie Office Space, and replay the sledgehammer bashing computer scene in your head over and over again while supposedly working, then this show is for you too.

Pam the receptionist

Living off the land

I started a little herb garden about three weeks ago. Everything's thriving except the cilantro, which I've apparently over-watered. It makes me feel so self-sufficient to go outside, clip off some basil or rosemary, wash and dry them and use them for dinner that night. I can't imagine the feeling I'd get if I ever tried a vegetable garden. My grandfather used to have a beautiful garden every year. He'd plant tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, squash, and bell peppers. I think he had lettuce, green onions and potatoes too. He was retired, though, and had enough time to devote a good chunk of time to weeding, watering, and outsmarting pests. I just don't have that kind of time. I think I would just end up frustrated and craving home grown tomatoes with goat cheese and black pepper. And watching some crows eat my tomatoes from afar. Maybe someday I'll try some container gardening. Until then, I will continue to enjoy my herbs - we had yellow and zucchini squash with thyme tonight. I think Bapaw would be very proud.

I'll get to it, one day

Do you ever have projects around the house that grow in your mind to be something so big that you know you'll never be able to finish them? I have one of those. I need to go through about twenty years of pictures. I want to throw out bad ones and duplicates, sort them by date, and pick out certain ones to put in frames. The rest need to be in photo boxes. I went through three envelopes with 24 pictures each today and it took me an hour, just taking my time and reminiscing. I figure at that rate it will take me a full three years to complete. So it just never gets done. And I keep adding more to the pile, although at a slower rate now that we seem to be using Jav's digital camera more. Maybe I'm also putting it off because of the emotional roller coaster I go on as I look through them. I always say I need a really good rainy, cold day to work. But I always end up laying around watching movies instead. Who wants to waste a perfectly good cold, rainy day doing a mammoth project? Give me good old-fashioned procrastination instead!

Pets are family too

I am horrified at so many tragic things that have happened because of the hurricanes and subsequent evacuations. But the thing that gets me the most is that people are expected to leave their homes without their pets. I know not all people think like me. But in this house, our pets are part of our lives, and members of our family, and I can't even fathom leaving them behind. Why can't some of the pet rescue organizations get together with the evacuation centers and have kennels set up? I think I've heard a couple of stories about this type of legislation getting started, and that people should write to their Congress person in support of it. After all, these people are losing everything. Shouldn't they be allowed to keep this happy part of their lives?

I was also moved in a positive way to see so many volunteers trying to help out with pet rescue efforts after Katrina. And to hear how much money was raised by organizations like http://www.noahswish.com/. It turns out there are alot more people who think like me out there than I thought. Maybe with time and luck, all of us can change things for the better.

Paranoid, or Just Prepared?

I was talking to my husband while he was on his way home from work tonight, commenting on how many people up here in North Texas are preparing for Hurricane Rita, and how I thought they were over-doing it just a bit. I haven't heard a new forecast, but yesterday the local newscasts (and I use that word very loosely) told us that Rita would still be a tropical depression by the time it reached the Dallas Fort Worth area, with possible sustained winds of 40 to 50 mph. Now, this is not normal for us, but I feel like things are being blown (no pun intended) out of proportion just to see which network can get the best ratings. My husband agreed that people seem to be over-the-top about this storm. Next thing I know, he has me talked into going tonight to purchase batteries for the flashlight, bottled water, and ice in case we lose power from the winds. I feel like one of those people who rush to the grocery store to stock up on canned goods and firewood at the first mention of freezing precipitation, knowing that we never have more than one good snow or ice day a year around here. But we're going all the same. And at least we don't have to contend with what Galvestonites and Houstonese are dealing with. I do hope that Rita doesn't end up being as devastating as the experts are predicting.

That Most Calming of Places

Continuing my food theme tonight, I wanted to pay tribute to one of my favorite places to visit every weekend: The Haltom City Farmers' Market. I decided about a year and a half ago to purchase my produce from a Farmers' Market instead of a chain grocery store, or, God forbid, Wal-Mart. My reasons for this decision are fresher produce, cheaper prices, and support of local farmers (for the most part). I can't explain the wonderful calm feeling I get as I walk around choosing my fruits and vegetables for the week. I'm not sure if it has to do with the clientele, which is made up of older people and hippie types, with some in betweens thrown in. Or if it's the people that run it - a guy that I think is the owner listened to me for 10 minutes explaining my Elephant Sanctuary T-shirt I had on last weekend. Or if I am just comforted surrounded by all of that healthy, colorful and enticing produce. All I know is that I've come to NEED my weekly visit, almost like a fix. I always walk back to my car whistling and in a great mood.

Eggplant Phobia

I have always been a little afraid of eggplant. They're such big vegetables. I think I may have tried buying one several years ago, but the sight of it intimidated me so much I finally just threw it away. I finally got brave again this past weekend and purchased two for a recipe I was going to try tonight. I decided to just make regular spaghetti and meat sauce, and after frying the eggplant slices, I'll chop them up and add them in the sauce. Our friend Christine makes homemade Eggplant Parmesan every Christmas. It takes her 3 days, waiting for the eggplant to flatten out under an iron skillet and lose all their moisture. It's one of the best things I've ever tasted. I've doused my peeled slices with Kosher salt, and am waiting for them to dry out a little before continuing. I feel like now that I've jumped over this hurdle, I'm ready for my own show on the The Food Network.

Two Genius Authors

About 15 years ago, I read The Stand by Stephen King. If you haven't read it, here's a synopsis: A killer virus that the US was developing as a weapon gets out and most people in the U.S. are wiped out by it. The survivors, along with having to face the gruesome scenes of loss and destruction all around them, have to try to band together to decide what to do next. All survivors seem to be drawn to one of two places - a cornfield somewhere in the Midwest, or Las Vegas. They have one of two dreams. Some have a dream about an old African American woman sitting on her porch in the middle of that cornfield, and some have a dream of a man walking down a road with a crow following close behind. You find out in reading that the cornfield people are inherently good, and the Las Vegas people are inherently bad. And within the two factions you still have people who are instinctive leaders and followers. It truly is one of the best books I've ever read, because the people seemed so real. The people in the "good" faction were heroic and strong at times, and scared to death at others. Some of the "evil" faction were actually having the cornfield dream, but were afraid to tell anyone, and went along with the group. So many different levels of the human psyche were shown in such a realistic way that it was hard to read at times.

Now, I would really like to know if J.K. Rowlings ever read The Stand before embarking on her Harry Potter series. Because the same theory is at play - it's just taking place in a made up world between wizards instead of "normal" humans (or muggles - if you're a fan of the books). I am blown away by her vision of this complex set of stories, and find it hard to conceive that she had it mapped out in her head from start to finish before ever starting to write. And even though it's obvious with some characters that they are on the "good" or "evil" side, with some the author keeps us guessing (Professor Snape, for example). And even Harry has flashing moments where he wonders exactly where he falls in the overall picture. People keep telling him he has all the talents of Valdemort (the leader of the "evil" faction), and seems to be the only other wizard that can hold a candle to him. Harry worries that maybe he is destined to be on the other side. These kids all have such a wide range of emotions and are such the angst-ridden teenagers, and you forget that they also cast spells play tricks with time. That all becomes secondary as you follow the story. And as they grow up, the problems they have to deal with become more and more grown up.

The reason I started thinking about how alike, but different these two stories are was hurricane Katrina. There was a good example on every network of those instinctively good and evil people. People shooting at rescuers. People sacrificing their own safety to help the elderly or infirm. People having to steal just to have food and water while others stole televisions. People saving trapped pets from rooftops and second floors of houses. People who used their government-furnished debit cards to frequent a strip club. People who set up fake Red Cross donation banners and collected cash from people. These are extremes of human nature, good to bad, and they seem to worsen in a crisis. But there are alot of people who fall somewhere in between.

The genius of these two authors is that they both captured this range in their stories. I know how The Stand ended. I can't wait to find out what Harry's destiny truly is.

More confused

OK-now that I've been thinking about my last post, I'm even more jumbled. I guess my whole freedom of religion argument is really for the parents of those kids, not the kids themselves. They aren't old enough to make any bigtime decisions about what they believe or don't believe - they're just going by what their parents tell them to do or not to do. Just like the girl I remember from first grade. So does that make it ok for them to say, "one nation under God" during the Pledge? I have no idea now. It just still makes me mad that the pundits arguing for keeping the phrase in don't think before they speak sometimes.

My husband just pointed out that it seems like the Founding Fathers were all deeply religious, and when they mapped out the Bill of Rights, probably were thinking of freedoms of all to worship God any way they chose. So maybe they were not planning for Agnostics or Atheists. Maybe it just never occurred to them. So he's confused the issue even more in my head now.

I Pledge Allegiance To .....

I been listening to the news surrounding the California judge who found the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional earlier this week. Now, I remember saying this with my hand over my heart, all through elementary school. I think I get why smaller children are expected to learn this and repeat it every day. I am a firm believer in patriotism and encouraging a sense of citizenship. We are pliable at that age, and want to please grownups very badly, and what better time to start fanning the flames of patriotism?

I'm not so sure how I feel about that "under God" phrase, though. I remember that there was one girl in my first grade class who was allowed to stay seated at her desk while the rest of us recited the pledge. She was picked on from time to time because of this, and questioned by all of us as to why, but being 7, she didn't have a good answer other than, "My Mommy and Daddy don't want me to."

The thing that really confuses me about this issue is the quotes from politicians and lobby groups supporting the daily reciting, who want this phrase kept intact. They keep referring to, "our founding fathers" and telling us to remember the "values that made this country what it is today." Well, didn't the first Americans decide to go to America in the first place because their religion was being persecuted? They couldn't worship as they pleased, so they braved the hellish trip to this country, disease, starvation, and too many other hardships to mention so that they could start a new country. And in this new country those founding fathers made sure that they named Freedom of Religion as part of our Constitution. Shouldn't this ideal be respected today, even if a person decides to have no religion? I think so, and I think I agree with this judge's decision.

Besides, at public schools, school should be school. Not church.

The Early Bird

I feed all of our pets at 5:30 am every morning. Even on the weekends. Normally I can go back to sleep for at least an hour on Saturdays, and maybe two hours on Sunday. I couldn't sleep this morning, though, so instead of laying there tossing and turning, I got up. I glanced out the window and noticed the sky was a funny color, and I remembered the old saying "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Red sky at night, sailors delight." Thinking I might see signs of some desperately needed rain, I stepped out on the back deck. There was a beautiful rainbow bejeweling the morning sky. I could see both ends, but the arch was in clouds. Why do rainbows make me feel like a little kid again? They just make me so happy. I debated waking up Jav, but thought better of it and grabbed my camera instead. I realized that I love being up early. I love hearing the screech owls as they finish up their night. I love the moment when the doves start cooing as the first light breaks across the sky. It's the quietest time of the day, and I'm finding that's something I crave more and more these days.

The Ole Ballgame Ain't What It Used To Be

Baseball has been a big part of my life for the past 10 years or so. When I was young, I remember wondering how my grandfather could sit and watch an entire game. It seemed so boring! But I started learning more about the game, and paying more attention, and all of a sudden it was anything but boring. It was so exciting to hang on every pitch of a close game. I loved the history and unchanging nature of the game. It was comforting to think about other people, just like me, or perhaps very different from me, who enjoyed the game decades ago. The game just has not changed much since it's beginnings - and I find that very appealing in a world where things are changing at the pace of a cheetah on speed.

Every spring, I start getting so excited about Spring Training starting up again. And Opening Day is just something everyone should experience. The energy, the fresh faces mixed with the veterans, and the hope of a new season, no matter how dismal the one was the previous year.

But it was just a bad day in the world of baseball when the Rafael Palmeiro story broke. He's always been one of the good guys, that you could always count on day in, day out. I held onto the thought that it couldn't possibly be true. But when it obviously was, my stalwart sport was suddenly knocked completely off its pedestal. I haven't been able to look at the game in the same way since. Because if Rafi was on steroids, that means countless others must have been too. How many outcomes of how many games have been affected by this? How many records are now bogus?

It really disturbed me even more that some people were calling into the local sports talk radio shows to say that they didn't think it was such a big deal. Are we really that complacent - I mean, we're talking about cheating. Flat out cheating. Are we going to bring up our kids thinking that this is ok? That it's alright to copy off someone every once in awhile as long it gets you ahead? That lying to fans, teammates, the media, and even the U.S. Congress is acceptable, and even applauded, as witnessed by the fans who stood up and clapped for him his first game back?

All I know is that I want my simple, unchanged, untarnished game back. The game my grandfather loved. But right now, it's nowhere in sight.

Suggested Films for Your End-of-Summer Enjoyment

We have done really well renting movies lately. We've rented 4 very different movies in a row that I thought were worth mentioning, plus one I saw last winter that was also unique enough to deserve an honorable mention.

Honorable Mention - The Company. Can you recommend a movie based on one scene? This movie is the creation of Neve Campbell (yes, that Neve Campbell from the Scream horror movies). She wrote the concept, which follows the lives of dancers in a ballet company for one season. Robert Altman liked it so much he wanted to direct it. Campbell also stars in it, and dances in it. And does a darn good job dancing in it. I kept watching my favorite scene over and over to make sure it was really her. The movie is a little choppy, the dancers aren't really film actors, and the one recognizable actor besides Campbell, Malcolm McDowell, has an over-the-top performance that will leave your eyes rolling. But it still isn't horrible. In fact, it's a pretty entertaining movie if you like ballet. All of the performance scenes are outstanding. But my favorite is the outdoor amphitheater performance by Neve herself and a partner. The Kronos quartet is on stage playing "My Funny Valentine", (a hauntingly beautiful classic that Campbell decides to use all through the film - but is performed by different artists.) A thunderstorm starts kicking up, but the dancers keep performing through the wind and rain. It's just a lovely scene, in a movie that made me want to get tickets to the next ballet performance at Bass Hall.

1) The Sea Inside. This is most serious of all my suggestions today. This is a Spanish film based on a true story starring the amazing Javier Bardem in the lead role. It deals with the right-to-die issue. I was NOT looking forward to seeing this movie, and told my husband I had the right to bow out at any moment if I thought I couldn't take it. But Bardem's performance is so riveting that I couldn't possibly turn away. He was so likeable, so sad, angry, funny and determined - so human, that I had to know how his story turned out. And although there are some gut-wrenchingly sad moments, amazingly enough, we had a good feeling at the end of it. I won't explain why, because it could possibly sway someone else's viewing experience.

2) The Chorus - Another foreign film, this one from France. The story line takes place just after WWII has ended, and revolves around a French boarding school for boys ranging in age from 6 or 7 to 15 or so. These are not good boys. You could call it a reform school, but unfortunately there's not a lot of reform going on. Until a teacher is hired, hears them singing a taunting verse they've made up to ridicule him, and realizes some of them have pretty good voices. Apparently he used to be a conductor, and still writes music - they never go into his past. He organizes them into a boys choir and rehearses them until they become really good. The headmaster's role is very predictable as a mean-spirited ogre who gave up hope on the boys a long time ago. But the actor playing the teacher is wonderful playing a rather sad character. He has many broken dreams, you sense, when he starts this job, but is transformed by the music the boys start creating, and by the changes that occur in them with some discipline and attention. The actors playing the boys are also great. But the main reason to see this one is the music. The boys have such pure voices - and the scenes of the choir will give you goose bumps. I have added the soundtrack to my wish-list.

3) The Aviator - The only big-budget film in the group. I am not a Leonardo DiCaprio fan at all. But I loved The Age of Innocence by Scorsese - in fact it's one of my favorite movies, so I was willing to see what he did with the early Howard Hughes story. I wish we'd gone to see it on a big screen. I don't think seeing it on television did it justice. But it was still great. The cinematography and special effects are great. The music was great (I loved seeing Rupert Wainwright singing in front of a big band!). And even Leonardo did an outstanding job. I forgot how much I dislike him, and was totally roped into the story. And what a wacky story it was! I've heard snippets about Howard Hughes's life towards the end, when he was already loony with the long beard and nails and living in a sterile penthouse, but that's all I really knew about the man. It's fascinating to see someone with such a forward thinking and brilliant brain go slowly insane. But the best part of the movie for me, without question, was Cate Blanchett's portrayal of Katherine Hepburn. I was a little hesitant about this going in, because I am such a huge Katherine Hepburn fan. I really didn't see how someone could play her. I could see someone totally mimicking her, or not quite capturing her strength and individual nature, with the performance falling flat either way. But Blanchett nails it so wonderfully, so effortlessly, I was stunned. I wouldn't mind seeing the movie again just to watch her.

4) The Upside of Anger - This little gem stars Joan Allen as a VERY angry and bitter wife and mother whose husband has just left her. She has four daughters, ranging in age from early teens to early twenties. Kevin Costner stars as one of her neighbors who starts to move in on Allen. He is an alcoholic ex-baseball player who makes a living these days autographing baseballs and doing a radio call-in show. I had read some about this movie going in, and knew there was going to be a lot of drinking by Allen and Costner. I don't usually enjoy movies about people addicted to anything because sometimes it hits too close to home or dredges up bad memories. But this movie held a few big surprises to rope me in and keep me there. The first thing that caught me off guard was the humor. There are a lot of belly-laugh moments all throughout. And all four daughters give great performances. I knew Joan Allen would be good. She's one of the best actresses out there today. What I was unprepared for was Costner's performance. He has some unforgettable scenes that my husband and I are still talking about. He starts out small and brash and pitiful, but grows (like a virus at times) into someone the family starts to need without even knowing it. And he ends up needing them too. There are a few small holes in the plot, but this is a movie worth seeing. You will be thinking about it long after the credits roll.

I have Bridge on the River Kwai to watch. I've looked forward to seeing this movie for years because 1) it's directed by David Lean, and 2) it caused my parents to have a huge argument when they saw it in the theater years ago. I'm hoping they will finally tell me about it. I will be doing an entire post on David Lean movies once I've seen it. We have some more foreign ones coming up in our queue, and I hope we can keep this good roll going! More to come later.

The Girl Just Wants to Have Fun

Zoe is our crazy girl cat. She was my third cat, and considering her auspicious beginnings, living in a tree outside of our yard, Zoe has an amazing outlook on life. She lived in that tree for about 3 months, during a very cold winter. She would meow at me and the other pets (1 dog and 2 cats at the time) every time we were out in the yard. That time of year, I always come home from work and play with everybody outside until it gets dark 30 minutes later. She started getting braver, gradually working her way down the tree and hanging out by the cyclone fence. One day, she started running after the ball I was throwing for Stanley, and would claw for it through the holes. I, of course, was leaving food and water for her by then, and had determined - what's one more cat? Well, she proved a bit difficult to catch. Plus Stanley had decided she was some kind of strange looking squirrel, and every time she tried to jump on our side of the yard, he would chase her back up in the tree. I was not very pleased with him throughout this ordeal. Finally, though, I caught her and took her to vet, got her spayed and vaccinated and BATHED.

She has proven a little bit of a challenge, having never lost her wild spark. She does not like to be held AT ALL. She will let you pet her, but only on her terms. It's a bad morning when I have to catch her to take her to the vet for some reason or another. She never really learned how to groom herself properly, (we assume because she was separated from her Mom too soon), so she needs to be bathed every 6 months or so. This also gets done at the vet - and when she comes back we remember that she is a beautiful snow white, instead of a grayish color. I don't let her outside at all, and she doesn't seem to mind. I think she had enough of outside during her treehouse life, and realizes that she has it pretty good now.

My husband dotes on her, being the only female cat, and has nicknamed her The Princess. She is a tomboy, demanding to play with the male cats, but then running away in a very girly manner whenever they get too rough. Every time I do yoga, she hangs out with me, curling up just next to the mat. This is the only time she is really touchy-feely, so I reach out and pet her alot during my routine. She rolls on her back and purrs, and looks so very content and relaxed. She teaches me about enjoying the moment, which is really what yoga is all about.

But the biggest thing I'm trying to learn from her is how to have fun. If she isn't eating or sleeping, she wants to play. All the time. We discovered a few months ago that she loves chasing after those little rubber balls that bounce to kingdom come. She actually plays catch with us, batting the balls back to us so we can toss it again. She'll chase me pulling an old shoelace all over the house. And we just recently started playing with her old love - a tennis ball. I realized while watching Zoe playing that sometime over the last year I stopped having as much fun as I used to. I have since determined that life is too short to let problems get you down for long. I've been laughing and cutting up more lately, and I thank her for inspiring me, because I feel alot better.

Zoe, aka "The Princess" 

Decisions, Decisions

I know it's been awhile since I've last posted. We've had some ups and downs over here, and I've been writing in my own private journal for a few weeks. But now I'm back.

Our house hunt has continued, and not only did we find a house we loved, we happened to find two. We saw Dream House #1 about 3 weeks ago, and immediately tried to forget it. Asking price was a tiny bit higher than our upper-end limit. BUT everything about this house was wonderful (of course). Jav and I floated, not walked, through it. It was built in 1952, but had had all kinds of updates to pretty much everything in the house over the past 5 years. It was on an oversized lot (but with no fence, a must for us with the two doggies). Beautiful landscaping, sprinkler system, huge rooms with wonderful original hardwood flooring and new paint, bathrooms with all new fixtures and tilework. The best thing about the house, though, was a completely renovated kitchen, with new cabinetry, huge island with storage and seating, built-in fridge, glassed-in cabinets for china display, HUGE pantry with rotating shelves, a Jenn-Air, the list goes on and on and on. Me being someone who loves to cook, this was just too good to be true. And it turned out to be too good for us to forget.

We wandered through a few more houses, but with very little enthusiasm. We both started talking about the house again, and how we could possibly cut back here and there to afford it. We had three other houses set up for this past Saturday, and even though I promised to keep an open mind, I really didn't think we'd see anything that would even come close to Dream House #1. Until we saw Dream House #2.

This house was newer. (1971). It had been on the market eight days. Smaller square footage, but in a newer, safer neighborhood. Smaller yard, but sizeable enough for the dogs. Everything in the house had been updated - flooring, paint, lighting, bathrooms, carpeting. And it had the Holy Grail of rooms for Javier - a pet room. Actually it was an 11 x 16 sun room, but with ceramic tile flooring, A/C and heating, and plenty of room for kitty litter boxes, dog crates, scratch posts, food and water dishes, and anything else for the perfect pet playroom. It's minutes away from my favorite place to walk the dogs. One bad thing, though, the kitchen was pretty small. Our realtor, though, said she expected this house to be snatched up faster than you could blink.

So then - the hard part started. My two main issues were huge, private yard vs. smaller, suburbia yard and dream kitchen vs. small I'll Have to Learn To Live With It kitchen. Jav had these two, plus he loved having an extra bedroom for a study. After an entire evening and all day today of cussing and discussing pros and cons out the yazoo, I finally started leaning towards Dream House #2. This was after it was determined that we could use the money we would have spent on fencing at Dream House #1 to knock out a wall and make the kitchen big enough for an island in Dream House #2. I also determined that even though we have to leave our wonderful, wildlife-filled yard for suburbia yard, the wonderful wildlife-filled park is two minutes away by car. We decided to make the third bedroom a study for now. We also realized that monthly utility bills would be quite a bit higher in Dream House #1. We also determined that we might be doing nothing but housework and yardwork on the weekends in Dream House #1. In other words, we made some tough compromises, but came up with solutions to any problems, and we think we've made the best decision for us right now.

We'll make an offer tomorrow night, and hopefully no one will beat us - that would be a little gut-wrenching at this point.

But then, of course, there's always Dream House #1 to fall back on in a pinch.

But I Wouldn't Want to Live There

I have an obsession with Russia. I think it's the most interesting place on earth. Probably part of its intrigue is its remoteness and distance from the United States (both in locale and in ideology). I love hearing stories about Russia on NPR. One of their best reporters, Anne Garrules, recently did a series of stories about "The New Russia" and the direction the country is taking. One story was about a young female celebrity with her own talk show promoting free speech, free markets and severely blasting the old-time Russian way of thinking. It seems to be yet another country who seems to be moving very quickly towards an American way of thinking, but then turns around and bombasts Americans and the way that thinking is taking over their country. It's probably generational arguing, between young people searching for a better way of life than their parents have or had, and older ones too bitter and soured by problems in the past to want to change anything now. There is such economic turmoil, which also goes along with the battle over doing things the old way versus the new.

There was an amazing article on Putin in a recent issue of Atlantic Monthly. It went over his history, how he got from point A to point B, and why he seems to think what he thinks. And how sometimes it's hard to tell WHAT he thinks and which way the country is headed. Russia seems to be such a grand expanse of land. I've always wondered if what its citizens in Moscow think is entirely different or the same from people living in the far reaches of the country.

I'm now trying to get through a book about the 10 years after Gorbachev called "Black Earth" by Andrew Meier. He's a reporter who, after living in Moscow for several years, began to wonder what ordinary Russians thought about what was going on in their country. He decided to venture to those far reaching places, well away from his comfort zone and into some really dangerous places. It is not an easy read. There are massacres of Chechens and mob hits on foreigners trying to "make Russia a better place" with Western type construction projects. But it's fascinating to learn more about this place that has played such an important role in our history - and still makes us nervous thinking about the future.

I would love to travel to Russia one day, especially to see St. Petersburg. But I'm not sure I feel that it would be safe to do so now. Maybe one day the country will be a more stable place to visit.

As an addendum to this post, I am thankful that the Russian sub crewmen were safely rescued. I'm glad the military authorities in Russia were much quicker to ask for help from other countries this time, because in doing so they avoided another tragedy like the Kursk submarine back in 2000. Thank God there was a happy ending this time.