Bugsy was hoping for sloppy eaters and brisket pieces 

Easy money-and less clutter

We had a successful first-time Ebay sale a few weeks ago. We sold Jav's old kitchen table and chairs. We ended up getting more than twice our starting asking price, which just made me giddy thinking of more possible sales. We named our Ebay store Molly and Stanley's Attic after our dogs. I thought it sounded very old-fashioned and grandmotherish and would pull in people's curiosity. So now we're going to try to sell my antique green velvet couch.

This week we also gave our other garaged couch to a friend of mine at work who just got her own place. Even though we were hoping to sell it, it felt good to be helping her out.

And today, I sold our old A/C window unit for $50.00 to a guy a work. He had said he really needed one yesterday, but I told him we needed to make sure it was cleaned up and working well after sitting in the garage since we moved. When I called him this morning, he said he had already bought a new one, but he'd still take a look. Well, I talked up that it was barely used, and that it still blew really cold air, and he eventually gave me cash for it right on the spot. Of course, I did come down on the asking price by a little. And of course, it was 100 in the shade at the time. But still, I was pretty proud of my salesmanship skills.

We're getting closer to saying hello to our other garage car space! And without any mention of that most dreaded of all dreaded things - a garage sale.

This is Laggan Farms, where we stayed in Mull-a working sheep and highland cattle farm doubling as a B&B. It was like going back in time.

Patio update

Ever since we changed up the back patio, it's been too dang hot to go outside. My car thermostat said 109 today. Every summer about this time I start wondering why I still live in Texas. I checked the weather for The Isle of Mull, our favorite spot we found in Scotland. High of 64, slight chance of showers. Heaven!

Every happening patio needs a Tiki Torch candle. Thanks, Gracie, for one of the coolest presents I've ever received! 

Nighttime view of our new lights.  

The caladium and salvia have thrived so far this summer.

The back porch

Since we've only been in our house since November, it's taken me a little while to get adjusted to our new yard. But I'm discovering that the Nesting Stage of pregnancy involves more than just getting the nursery ready. My project for last week was the back porch. It's not a big space, but it's cozy enough for a porch swing, bistro table, and a grill. And the dogs to lounge on.

I added some old but comfy pillows to the porch swing, bought some cool lights (on sale-yay!!) at Target, and instantly our porch became a funner place to hang out. Of course, it's helped to have some slightly cooler weather lately. I still want to paint the porch swing and add a few sturdy side tables to put books and drinks on - then I'll be done, at least until next spring!

My creative outlet

I have discovered a deep love for gardening. I don't care how hot, cold, windy, or even sometimes rainy it is, I love to be outside tinkering in my yard. I'm constantly surveying it to figure out what I want to do next.

Of course, when you discover you love something, you start wishing you could do it every day instead of just here and there on the weekends or weeknights. So a year or so ago, I investigated a few plant-oriented career options. Without much luck, though. I thought about a horticulture degree, but the nearest college to offer one would take 1-1/2 to 2 hours to get to one-way. Not an option! I figure working at a nursery would probably take me down more than a few notches in pay, so that's out. My boss and I joked that we should open our own nursery and call it "Two Burned-Out Accountants". We figured the name alone would peak customer's curiosity to get them in the door, and our sparkling personalities would take care of the rest. But it was really just daydreaming talk.

Since none of these options will pan out, it looks like I'm stuck with the goal of making "Yard of the Month" in our neighborhood. We get a picture in the monthly newsletter and a nice description. I'm partially there - I think we have the prettiest border in the whole East Side of Fort Worth.

I think the best therapy in the world is digging in the earth and planting things. Here's a quote I found in an old gardening book while staying in a really neat B&B in Fredericksburg:

All my hurts
My garden spade can heal. A woodland walk
A quest of river grapes, a mocking thrush,
a wild rose or rock-loving columbine,
Salve my worst wounds.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pretty darn funny

Check these out-the worst album covers of all time.

Entitlement vs. obligation of responsibility

Something I'm noticing more and more these days is the fact that we as Americans feel entitled to certain rights and priviledges, which I don't have a problem with. The problem occurs when you don't mix any sense of responsilibity into that entitlement. For example, we are entitled to have a safe place to live. But does this mean we should build the biggest house on the block, which will not only waste land space and building materials, but also energy to heat and cool? Also, we feel we are entitled to cars that get us safely back and forth to wherever we need to go. Do we not also have a responsibility to buy vehicles that use less gas, and to maintain that vehicle so that it releases the least amount of exhaust into the air? And what about recycling, and water conservation - small things requiring little effort, but that could make a big difference?

Which leads me to the money issue. I know that income makes a difference. I will even come clean at this point. With a child on the way and two big dogs, we needed something bigger than our Honda Civic. I will admit that we ended up buying a small SUV after realizing that station wagon prices had exploded to a range higher than our budget. But I feel really guilty driving my car on ozone-level warning days. And if a person is working two jobs just to make sure his or her family has food on the table, pollution or urban sprawl probably does not rate very high on your list of priorities. I'm not talking about those people. I'm talking about people who are making a pretty good living and SHOULD be thinking about these things. Why don't more people think less of "me, myself and I", and more about their communities and the greater good of everyone? I understand that America was built on individualism and the "pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps" mentality. But I wish I could talk to the founding fathers and ask if the "pursuit of inalienable rights" meant that you could forego any sense of community and step on anybody and everybody just to reach this goal. Somehow I doubt it. And I also don't think they meant for us to make sure we had the biggest and best compared to all of our neighbors. But how do you change this mindset? How do you make people see the bigger picture? I just don't have an answer for that one.

Lightbulb over my head for the day

Way to partially solve the energy crisis: Take a small portion of every dollar of profit the oil/gas companies are making and put it into public transportation development. I'm talking trains, train tracks and secure depots in every suburb, stops along Farm to Market roads. I know everyone is always saying that Europe's system won't work in the US because we are too big and sprawling, but isn't it at least possible as long as the money is available? And think of the jobs all of that construction would create! The only hitch is how to make the oil and gas companies do it. Maybe a portion of the tax we already pay when we buy gas could be funneled into this project. Because the whole point would be to start weening us Americans off of our attachment to our cars (and speaking from experience - even certain people who read this blog who have chances to take the train to work don't want to give up his or her vehicle.) How to change THAT mindset, speaking in my best West Texas lingo, is a whole 'nother problem.

Super-sized lessons

I've been watching a new TLC show, Honey, We're Killing the Kids. The show has a nutrition and diet expert coming into homes to help the entire family eat healthier and excerise more - with the motivation for the parents of knowing their kids will live longer. She spends three weeks coming up with new goals for everyone to reach. Several things about the show fascinate me.

One is watching the kids, used to pretty much nothing but fast food and junk food, almost get sick eating healthy food. I can sort of see this, because I got addicted to fast food in college. It has taken me years to lose the desire to run by a fast food restaurant for lunch every day. I think it really does alter your taste buds, because I never really enjoyed eating fruit until now, but now I'm starting to crave nectarines and pears instead of Big Macs.

Another thing that just floors me is that the Moms on the show (not to be sexist, but they are always the ones doing the grocery shopping), have no clue what some of the fruits and vegetables on their healthy buying list even look like. They have to get the stockers at the grocery stores to help them find the asparagus.

And the Dads do so little to help. Not only with meal preparing and cleaning up, but with disciplining the kids. All the families on the shows I've watched seem to have that in common.

It's normally a pretty interesting outcome, although I wonder how long the transformation will keep up after the three weeks is over. Just doesn't seem like a long enough time to change years of bad eating and exercise habits. But I guess credit should be given to TLC for at least bringing the issue into the limelight a little more.

The ugly truth

Something in my life has caused me to become a complainer. I don't think I used to do this. I complain about the little complexities of life that can drive you crazy. I complain about how I feel. I complain about how there's never enough time to get everything done on my to-do list in my head. The weird thing, though, is that I consider myself to be pretty happy person. In fact, I am at the happiest place I've ever been in throughout my whole adult life. I honestly can't figure out why I do this. I guess complaining is like nail-biting - a very bad habit that I need to break. I think something that may help is focusing more on the current moment, and not thinking so much about what I need to do tomorrow, or when I get home from work, or what I didn't get done the day before. It's really hard to actually do, though.

That's life

It started with Jav's car. His air conditioning went out. While the compressor was being replaced, it was discovered that his front brakes needed replacing.

Then the washing machine saga started. Apparently the keypad has gone bad on us. Two service calls and two pretty expensive parts to get it up and running again.

Last weekend, I lost my debit card somewhere. I didn't discover this until Monday, and luckily there were no charges on it. It's canceled and we're waiting on the new one.

We've been planning our one vacation this year to Padre for months. Spend one night in San Antonio, 3 days on the beach, then home. I started feeling bad Sunday evening. By the time the night before the trip came, I had a full blown bad sinus infection turning into bronchitis. So already fully packed and having to break my husband's heart, I decided we needed to stay here.

Last night we discovered our hot water heater is going out. Slowly, but still dying a slow death.

Enough already!

Laughter is the best medicine

In these days of depressing news, ultra-high stress levels, and ever-rising prices for food and gas and everything else, I've found I have a need to laugh more than I used to. I've never been too big on stand-up comedians, though, until now. I have found one that reigns supreme in my mind. He's British, a VERY fast talker, and a VERY fast thinker. Probably one of the most intelligent people I've ever seen. You can tell half of his shows are just made up as he goes. He's a little Robin Williams like, but not so schizophrenic and MUCH funnier.

His name is Eddie Izzard. Here's his rather colorful website. Did I mention he's a transvestite? It just adds to his overall charm, in my opinion. He's also acted in some movies, including Oceans 12 (he was the rather colorful inventor). We're waiting for him to do a show in Dallas, but I think he may be afraid to tour in the Bible belt. With good reason, I might add.

I guess all stand-ups have a talent for taking the mundane and pointing out the humor and ridiculousness of it all. Eddie has a penchant for history. His skits have included subjects like why Hannibal chose elephants to invade the Romans - basically because the supply shop was out of snowshoes or skis; the conversation God had with all the different animals on methods of procreation - almost all of them were assigned "doggie-style", except the poor salmon, who had to swim upstream for miles and jump up waterfalls to multiply; and one of my favorites, a summing up of all the letters Paul wrote to the Corinthians, with the Corinthians basically wondering who in town started writing this busybody in the first place. Everytime we have a reading in Mass from Paul's letter to the Corinthians, Jav and I have to concentrate to keep from cracking up.

He's not just intelligent, though, he's silly and laughs at himself too. So you never feel like you're watching a high-brow know-it-all. The man just makes me laugh - really, really hard. Everybody needs a good belly laugh, especially these days. I always feel loads better afterwards.

Why even try?

I'm a big advocate of healthy eating. I recently thought about only purchasing my meats, poultry, etc. from Whole Foods, not only because of health reasons but also because of ethical reasons towards animals. But it's very expensive, so I go back and forth on the idea.

Well, I just heard an interview on public radio of this author. He decided to trace back the origins of 4 meals: One from what he calls the Industrial Food Chain (big grocery store chains), one from the Organic Food Chain (like Whole Foods), one from the Local Food Chain (Farmer's Market), and then one where he tried to eat only things he hunted or grew himself, even down to the salt! He didn't recommend this last option in these modern times, even though he said it was probably the best, most enjoyable and spiritual experiences of his life to eat that meal.

The disturbing thing was his story tracing the Whole Foods organic meal. The chicken he purchased had a pastoral scene of a 1930's farm on the label, claiming "Free Range Raised". The actual farm's chickens, however, lived inside in a big barn with 20,000 others. When questioned about why they weren't outside, the manager said that they couldn't let them outside until they were 5 weeks old. Since they don't give them antibiotics, they're afraid the chicks will get sick if they do it before then. So when questioned about whether chicks do venture outside at 5 weeks, the manager said that no, they had all the food and water they needed inside, and they seemed afraid to go outside. Then the chicks are slaughtered for market at 7 weeks. Now, I don't know about you, but giving chickens the opportunity to go outside for 2 weeks of their little lives just doesn't seem like "Free Range Raised" to me.

Because of the enormous popularity of organic whole food, most Organic food chains now are employing the same tactics as non-organic chains. So why the heck spend the extra money? And even though I love purchasing my fruits and vegetables from the Haltom City Farmers' Market, they do not sell meat. So what do I do to try to be a healthier and more morally responsible person? What a conundrum!!!

Making a house a home

Our house is really starting to come together. We've spent the last two weekends working inside and outside. Inside, we've been hanging up pictures and setting out family photographs, fluffing and arranging comfy pillows, arranging candles on the mantle, and putting quilts and handsewn pillowcases on our bed. Outside, we've been planting flowers in the front beds, getting the beds ready in the back for planting, and rearranging our back porch. Jav even got the porch swing hung up, so there was a good place to rest after all that work. The most exciting thing is on its way - we ordered a dining room table that seats 10 when fully extended. This piece of furniture will be the focal point, or the "heart" of our home. It took us a few months to get going, but I'm already amazed at how much these little details have transformed everything. After hanging the little pictures my grandfather made with needlepoint for their kitchen years ago on our kitchen wall, and realizing how perfectly they fit, I truly believe that we were meant to be in this house.

Sports psychology

Why do "elite" athletes get treated so differently from us regular folks? Julie and I wondered last night at the Ranger game how our (so-called) closer, Coco Cordero, was treated by his teammates after the scrape-by win last night. Did they yell at him? Did they ignore him? Or did they pat him on the back and say "there's always next time."

Apparently if you have an actual "closer" in the big leagues, it is imperative that they continually be pumped up and have their egos stroked, or they could have some kind of mental breakdown. Well, isn't that what's already happening? If it's not a physical reason, and the Rangers say he's healthy there, then doesn't some kind of mental block exist to make him keep blowing saves?

And why does he get free pass after free pass? If I were to screw up at work continually and was not doing the job I was getting paid to do, I don't think anyone would try to keep pumping me up. I think they would fire me after three, maybe four times tops.

I think that along with the market dictating that teams overpay players these days, they also seem to be creating weak, mentally affected whiny babies. I say either make this guy earn his keep, or replace him!

Where the heck have I been?

I can't believe it's been two months since I posted anything. You see, it's become a little more difficult to write in my blog as of late. I started this as one of several creative outlets since I feel I have none at my job. The last month or so of posts were actually done AT work. There are two things I hate to do once I get home from work: 1) Talk on the telephone and 2) Turn on my computer. So I started posting, at very brief intervals, of course, at work. Well, just about the time of my last post, we had a rain gutter back up during a weekend of nonstop downpours, and our entire offices were flooded. I was temporarily moved to our conference room, where I shared an office with our Human Resources director. Not a very good place to think about posts. THEN we were ALL moved out to the warehouse floor, where we will remain until the renovations are complete. That's where I sit right now, with 14 other desks and 14 other people watching every move I make. Can you tell I've sunk to an all time low in the morale department, sitting here not really caring that anyone could walk up at any moment and see what I'm doing?

So, seeing as we'll be in this situation until at least the first of June, my posts will be short but sweet. But I'm determined to keep them going! This is an open account of what's going on in my life, at least the parts I'm comfortable sharing about. And now I've gone and lost two months! But to borrow from June Carter Cash (and Christi's favorite quote), it's time to hunker down and press on.

These are role models?

The behavior of two American speed skaters over the past week really has me angry. Chad Hedrick of Houston was hoping to tie Eric Heiden's record of 5 gold medals. Shani Davis was at his first Olympics, and figuring heavy in the human drama story since he is from an inner-city background where basketball is king and speed skating is unheard of.

To hear them talk about one another is despicable. I guess the whole thing started when Hedrick asked Davis to help out his teammates in a new group event, and Davis pretty much ignored his request. Hedrick apparently blames Davis for the US team's loss. Maybe Davis was wrong in refusing to help out his teammates in the group effort, but he claims he was afraid it would take his attention away from his best race, and that speed skating has always been an individual event up to this point.

So instead of blowing off any hard feelings in the true nature of Olympic sportsmanship, these two have been taking potshots at each other ever since. Davis barely speaks when the NBC sideline reporter tries to talk to him after races. Hedrick managed to say that Davis "skated really fast" when he won a gold medal. Come on, guys. This is the Olympics. Not a Little League game coached by Walter Matthau. Take the high road! Wish each other good luck before and congratulate each other on a great race afterwards. Think of how many inner-city kids could look up to Davis as a true role model, if only he would act like one. And even if Hedrick hasn't won the number of gold medals he came into these Olympics wanting, his attitude has already proved he is no Eric Heiden.

My vote for a true Olympian is Joey Cheek, a teammate of these two who has donated all the prize money from his silver and bronze medals to charity. Win or lose, that's my idea of a role model.

I've got Olympic Fever

And it feels good. I turn on the TV when I get home from work, and it stays on until coverage ends for local news at 10:30, or I fall asleep, whichever comes first. I LOVE the Olympics. So far this year I haven't found a sport that's annoying to me, except for snowboarding tricks in "the pipe". I'm having a little trouble with the X-Games stuff, so I guess I'm officially old. I saw previews for the Snowboard Cross (like Motorcross but on snowboards) that airs tonight, which I'm curious about, but seems too much like a Nascar race to be too terribly interesting.

I like the more traditional stuff - downhill skiing, long track speed skating, luge. I even got into a curling match yesterday. What the heck is that all about? I think it's like shuffleboard, but with ice and geekier players. The thing I can't believe is how much I'm getting into the figure skating this year. I stopped watching it about a decade ago, thinking it wasn't a real sport. But this year I'm feeding into all the human interest stories like crazy.

Fascinating TV - much better than a random night of normal TV.

NEXT DAY: OK, I loved the Snowboard Cross. It's not like Nascar-there's no loud, polluting cars involved. Just a person on a snowboard going faster than all get out trying to get in front of everyone else to avoid crashes. I'd like to try it someday, although this is a lofty goal considering the only time I've ever been skiing I never made it off the bunny slope.

Me, agree with an Evangelist?

As shocking as it may seem, you're darn right on this topic. Well, at least with some of them. I heard this story on NPR a few mornings ago. I'm glad that some of our country's religious-right leaders are trying to urge the Bush administration to take a stance against global warming, even though according to the article it's none of the really powerful ones. But it's a start.

The paragraph that really sparked my interest was the quote from the letter that James Dobson and other powerful swayers of White House opinion wrote in response, saying, "Human beings come first in God's created order ... and that primacy must be given to human beings and for human betterment."

I don't get this statement at all. Don't get me wrong - I value human life, and how incredibly precious it is. But I don't think that our species is any more important in the big scope of our planet than others. What I do think is that more should be expected from human beings than from other species, that we should be held to a higher standard of caring. You would think that humans, having the most brainpower and the biggest capacity for love, (supposedly), would care more about taking care of Mother Earth and all the plants and animals who enjoy her miraculous climate and geographic beauty. But yet "human betterment", which to me translates to owning a car, and driving to and from your job without carpooling or investigating public transportation, and trying to have a bigger car or truck or SUV than your neighbor, and trying to have a bigger home than your neighbor, and trying to have so much more stuff than your neighbor that you wrecklessly throw out your old stuff without any thought of recycling ... this mentality has contributed more to the deterioration of Mother Earth than anything else. And now billions of people in India and China are beginning to crave this "human betterment".

I really can't believe that more people aren't concerned with this issue. How many species do we have to lose before it becomes important enough to fight for? How much diversification must be lost as we humans continue to try to make ourselves bigger, faster and richer, no matter what the cost to our planet? I don't care what your political, religious, ethnic or economic persuasion is - if you come around to my way of thinking and see the urgency of the situation, I'm glad to have you aboard.

Silence! The Great and Powerful Oz has Conducted!

Is it just me or does Arturo Toscanini look like the Wizard of Oz on the the cover of this CD? I found this reissue of 1950 recordings of Toscanini leading the NBC orchestra after attending the Fort Worth Symphony's production of Brahms Symphony Number 4. I think what we have here is a clear case of someone who thought they were a might bit more important than they actually were.

Movies, movies, movies

We've been trying to catch up on some of the movies we missed recently. We watched Crash. What a movie! There is a scene that will remain with me as one of the best scenes ever in a movie. I'm glad it's getting recognized. It's weird because while we were watching it, I kept thinking it was a little over the top, but I'm still thinking about it almost a month later, if that tells you anything. And the actors are all great. (Well, except Brendan Fraser).

We'll have The Constant Gardener to watch this weekend. I'd like to try to cram in three or four more before the Academy Awards ceremony. Walk the Line, Brokeback Mountain, and Good Night and Good Luck are the top three on my list, with Capote a runner up. I have no desire to see Munich after hearing about it.

I'm in the middle of watching Adam's Rib at home. I think the best performance in the movie is Judy Holliday - who I don't really know anything about. But I'm always fascinated by Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn movies. I can't tell if they were just superb actors or if they couldn't hide how much in love they were, but their relationships on screen are more real and more believable than any others I've seen. If you ever get a chance - watch this one, State of the Union, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. They just don't make 'em like that anymore.

ADDENDUM TO ORIGINAL POST:
Amazingly enough, Born Yesterday with Judy Holliday was on TCM last night. She was great in this one-and won the Academy Award for her performance as a woman who never really stopped to use her brain until William Holden opens up the grand doors of history and learning to her. I think she would have gone on to become one of the greatest actresses of her day if she had not died from breast cancer at the early age of 43.

Magical Book

I read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking during the holidays. I had heard her interviewed and decided I had to read this book. It chronicles the year after the unexpected death of her husband, and during which their only daughter is in and out of a coma. Since the book came out her daughter passed away also. You would think it would be one of the most depressing books ever, but it's not. It is written so honestly and with a matter-of-fact style, and it rings so true about what your mind and body go through while coping with grief. But I only got really teary-eyed a couple of times. I found myself agreeing with and sympathizing with her so often, I feel like I know her personally now. I have never read her work before this book, but I am ready to get started on some of her fiction works. I think the best thing about reading it during the holidays was how appreciative it made me of my family, and how I didn't want to take them or anything about my life for granted. I highly recommend it.

Welcome back Harry

I know I'm a little slow in getting to it, but I finally started the latest Harry Potter last week. We get the audio books and listen while in the car, and it's so great to have a story read to me. Especially when the person reading the story (Jim Dale) has won so many awards it's ridiculous, and is considered the best in his field. He's kept the voices constant for every character throughout six books now. But back to Harry. I keep driving Jav crazy, coming up with all of these crazy theories about what's happening. It's not my fault he read it first! I will think of nothing else until I finish.

Wonder Dog

We are trying to take the dogs to River Legacy Park every other weekend. What a great place - a veritable doggy paradise with tons of trails that seemingly go on forever. Yesterday, my almost 12-year-old Stanley kicked my butt. He just goes and goes, and doesn't ever seem to get tired. After an hour of hiking he didn't want to get in the car to go home. I, on the other hand, was completely worn out and ready for a nap. We've decided after watching the Animal Planet Dog Show the last couple of nights that he has Golden Retriever in him, along with Chow. I still think he has Husky in him too, because of his tail. Whatever he is, he's the best dog I ever could have asked for.

The process is messed up

The Senate Confirmation hearings for Judge Samuel Alito are progressing nicely. Problem is, the democrats use the forum to make lengthy political diatribes instead of asking really good questions, the republicans fawn over the nominee and tell him to ignore those mean democrats, the nominee doesn't really answer any of the supposedly important questions, and the taxpayers' money gets wasted with each moment that goes by. The process seems to have become ridiculous and circus-like. Shouldn't the American public have more of a say-so in this decision? After all, if confirmed, the man will be making decisions that affect the freedoms of (or lack of freedoms of) all Americans, not just our representatives in Congress. (Come to think of it, are these people supposed to really represent me? - Yikes!)

I want to know more about how this man stands. He's young and has the possibility of being on the court for a really long time. Shouldn't these proceedings be more serious and meaningful?

Perfect Weekend

I think we all get so used to frantically running around before and during the holidays that January comes as a breath of fresh air. We didn't have anything we HAD to do all weekend. I had time for yoga on Saturday and walking the dogs on Sunday. I worked in the yard a couple of hours each day, and did some cleaning inside here and there. We went to Mass. We cooked healthy dinners together! each night. We ate breakfast out Sunday and browsed Barnes and Noble afterwards. I took a nap on Sunday afternoon. We watched The Commitments and laughed our way through the whole thing again. Jav fixed the sprinkler system. The whole weekend was absolute heaven, and I look forward to having many more like it.

Favorite Christmas memory, 2005

The neatest thing that happened this Christmas occurred at my brother and sister-in-law's house on Christmas afternoon. Their new house looked absolutely beautiful, there was a Chris Isaac Christmas CD on in the background, and my entire family was gathered around. One of us called someone a Scrooge, and Cade, my 4-year-old nephew, wanted to know what that meant. I started telling him the story of A Christmas Carol. Watching his little excited, interested face, and realizing that everyone got quiet and started listening to me - I tried to make it as magical and memorable as the first time I remember watching the movie as a kid. The scary parts were good and scary, I played down the Tiny Tim part a little, but really played up the end when Ebeneezer is transformed into a better person. Since I don't have kids yet, I didn't realize I could tell a story like that without the help of a book. And when I finished, Cade said, "Read it again, read it again!", which I thought was the ultimate complement, coming from someone I love so much. One day we'll read the book together.

Great movie, great music

While doing some last minute shopping at Target on Christmas Eve, I suddenly found the soundtrack from Garden State in my buggy. That Santa - he really knows his stuff. I had wanted that CD for months! The entire CD is very cool, very mellow songs. Perfect for driving, or for background music if a few friends are over for dinner. If you haven't seen the movie yet, you need to. My favorite scene is the party scene - which happens to correspond with my favorite song on the CD (In the Waiting Line by Zero 7). I'm not sure if the song makes the scene great or vice versa, but it really doesn't matter. Hollywood needs more of what Zach Braff has to offer.

Are we all on the same page?

I hate cliches. They drive me insane. Especially those related to the work place. If you can't say something even slightly original, just don't talk. I found this that sums up a lot of what I'm talking about. They left a couple off. The one the owner of my company says that makes me gnaw my teeth together: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease". Being an animal lover, I also can't stand the ones like, "kill two birds with one stone", and "beating a dead horse".

On the other hand, I don't mind some of the ones I've heard in old movies. Ones that have more to do with people, instead of corporate mumbo jumbo. Maybe I should start a trend to try to bring these back.

For instance, if you meet someone who obviously remembers you but you have no idea who they are, instead of trying to slickly act like you remember them, say "Sir (or Ma'am), it seems you have me at a disadvantage.' Then stick out your hand. I saw John Wayne do this in one of his movies, and although it was a Western, I still think it would impress in a business environment.

Another one that isn't used near enough anymore is to say to a new young coworker or temp, "I can see you going places. You've got a real fire in your belly." Can't you just picture Spencer Tracy saying that to someone?

If you're determined to speak in cliches, why not have a little class about it?

Favorite Christmas Music

Because of the fact that we all start hearing Christmas music just after Halloween the last couple of years, I have a tendency to shy away from anything even resembling a Fa La La La La until the week before Christmas. Then I listen to my favorites non-stop for a week. It's just so much more special to only hear it for that one week. I hate the fact that I'm burned out on hearing Bing Crosby's White Christmas, but I am. So here's my list of favorite CD's/tapes that provide hours of enjoyment while last-minute errand-running, wrapping, cooking, or passing out on the couch from holiday exhaustion.

The Brothers Four Christmas Album
Ok-yes it's folk music and very A Mighty Wind-ish, but I grew up hearing this record every Christmas at my grandparents. When I found it online a few years ago, I snatched it up and now listen with nostalgic enjoyment. It takes me back to being a little kid - my brother and I pinching packages under the tree, the smell of our traditional German Christmas dinner of potatoes and chopped bacon wafting through their house, my grandmother panicking because she forgot to put tags on about half the gifts. I still have their Christmas tree with the homemade ornaments my grandfather made - which completes my sensory journey back in time. It makes me remember how blessed I was growing up, and how blessed I still am today.

Alternative Rock Christmas Compilation
This was a CD put together by my friend Brian. He gave it to me about 5 Christmases ago, and it's become one I can't live without. Many gems on here, including the Hoodoo Gurus surfer-music version of Little Drummer Boy and Happy Christmas (War is Over) by the Alarm . But my favorite is The First Noel by Crash Test Dummies, which I think is one of the most beautiful arrangements of a Christmas carol that I have heard. I don't see Brian much anymore, but I very much appreciate this gift he gave me years ago, and wish him well every time I listen.

A Charlie Brown Christmas - The Vince Guaradi Trio
I originally bought this one for the nostalgic factor, but the mellow jazz that accompanies the best cartoon special of the Christmas season just can't be beat. I've played it in the background at my own home and at work Christmas parties, and someone always comments on how cool it is.

There's a tie for my favorite:
-IT'S CHRISTMAS MAN! - BRAVE COMBO
-CHRISTMAS AT CARNEGIE HALL FEATURING KATHLEEN BATTLE, FREDERICA VON STADE and THE WYNTON MARSALIS SEPTET
There probably couldn't be two more varied Christmas albums on the planet than these two.

The first is from our treasured local (Denton) nuclear-polka band. They also dabble in Ska, Salsa, Blues, Cha-Cha-Cha, and anything else you can think of. And they do it all very well. They offer Little Drummer Boy in Ska (very cool), It's Santa's Polka - their original composition (very fun), and even a version of Ave Maria (very beautiful). I have this as a bootleg tape, and every Christmas I tell myself I need to order the CD. It's so different from ANYTHING you'll hear on the radio or in the malls. It always brings a smile to my face.

The Carnegie Hall recording was from a KERA special that aired on Christmas Eve about 10 years ago. This one is so personal for me. Not only was it the first time I remember hearing jazz and liking it, but it actually had alot to do with deciding that I was absolutely miserable at that time of my life and needed to make some drastic changes. I was spending another Christmas trying to be cheery, stuck in a marriage with someone who just wanted to drink his way through the holidays and who didn't like to be around family. As I watched this visually beautiful special around midnight, with The American Boychoir, full orchestra and adult chorus, I started to want something more out of my life - something with more joy and less misery. The music lifted me up to heights I had forgotten existed in life. My two favorite songs are the septet performing We Three Kings, and the two featured sopranos performing Gesu Bambino. It still lifts me up, and proves that music can be a very powerful force in your life.

Every year I try to purchase a new holiday music CD. This year it was music from The Nutcracker. I encourage everyone to break out of the Jingle Bell Rock rut and find something that warms your heart and brightens your outlook this Christmas season.

A little dose of culture never hurt anyone

We decided to get a subscription to the Ft. Worth opera when we got the brochure in the mail and saw how affordable it was. The deal was clinched when we read that we get a discount with our KERA card. We get to attend three operas. Our seats are the the first row of the upper balcony, a little to the side. I have always wanted to go to an opera, but was a little nervous that I would get bored and maybe even fall asleep. To make things worse, our first opera occurred at the end of our move-in week. We spent all day that Friday moving the last bits of stuff from the old house, which turned out to take four trips in two cars, and moving furniture around, and unpacking yet more boxes of kitchen stuff (were they multiplying?). We were tired and punchy, and sitting at Bass Hall for three or so hours was really the last thing I wanted to do. I begged Jav to just let us go out to dinner somewhere and back home for some relaxation and/or sleep. But he kept coaxing. We somehow managed to find our dress-up clothes, and ended up looking smashing when we walked out the door, me in a blue velvet dress with a turquoise shawl, and he in a purple shirt with gray and purple striped tie. All cool colors. We sat down to watch Verdi's La Traviatta. Here's the rather lengthy story.

Well, it was amazing. The lead playing Violetta had the smoothest most beautiful voice. The sets were amazing, the dancing was perfect and the music itself was so enjoyable. There's an intermission between each Act, so the action never really drags. And everyone is dressed up in their opera finery. I felt like I'd gone back in time, to the days my grandparents would get dressed to the nines to go anywhere - dinner, a movie. It was such a special and romantic event.

It's wonderful to know that for a small amount of money, we are not only getting a wonderful evening, but we are contributing to the advancement of culture in our little Fort Worth community. I can't wait until the next one in January!

A fond farewell

My home for the past seven years has been a lovely little white house on a wonderful piece of wooded property. This spot became a part of me - so much so that the thought of leaving it one day filled me with despair. We have now moved to our new house, which I love in a whole new way. But I wanted to write a few things about the old one, as a tribute, before I can truly enjoy the next one.

Here are some random thoughts about some of my favorite things about living there.

- My wonderful landlords, Mike and Susan, who I knew were always there, one lot away, to help me with anything that might come up. Not just house problems, but with anything. I miss having them next door already.

- Before all the housing developments moved in, it was wonderful taking my dogs for a walk. We never knew what wild life we would see, especially if we walked closed to dusk. Squirrels, rabbits, an occaisional possum, horses and cows, random dogs from time to time. We would watch the emu couple staring back at us tentatively, and once got to see their chicks running in a line behind them. I don't know what happened to them - one day they just weren't there anymore.

- There was a horse-boarding barn that gave riding lessons a couple of times a week. I loved watching the students learning to jump the barriers on those beautiful strong creatures. Sometimes the horses would wander up to the fence and I'd try to pet them through the electric fence. Once one of them took a bite out my sweater, which luckily was very thick and old.

- The bird population was amazing throughout the years I lived there. Some birds were around all year- blue jays, cardinals, wrens, grackels. Some only made an appearance while migrating. Woodpeckers covered both catagories. There was one day when what must have been a gigantic woodpecker was squawking his trills from the top of a tree. I never got a good look at him, and only heard him that one morning. My husband became infatuated with the hawk couple that would always circle as he took the dogs for a walk Saturday mornings. One late morning we laid in our hammock between the grand oak trees and watched them soaring and determined they were having fun.

- The trees themselves hold an especially fond place in my heart. The majestic oaks in the back of the yard were overgrown with huge grapevines, and to spend time back there, looking up through the trees, was heaven to me. That's where most of the birds would spend their time. Several nights I saw possums quickly making their way back up the vines to the other side of the fence.

- One day Jav and I heard the dogs going crazy and went out to see three armadillos, (we think adolescents) rummaging around looking for grubs in the dirt.

- Again, the dogs led us to discover a big turtle who had come from under the house. He was scared to death, having made it to the fenceline, but was now trapped by the dogs. We decided to drive him to Randol Mill Park, thinking he needed water nearby. (This was before researching and finding that there are water turtles and land turtles.) The turtle came out of his shell after driving a few minutes, and was very agitated to be in a moving car. When we were about three minutes away from the park he started peeing on me, which Jav found hysterical. We deposited him on a sunny rock and wished him well in his new home.

The things I will miss most about the house are

the toads that come out in late spring-there deep bellowing mating calls all night long

the ladybugs who invaded our house every November or so, and stayed up the corners of our ten foot ceilings all winter, and all tried to find their way back outside at the first hint of warm weather

the insect population - everything from wasps and praying mantisis to cicada and katydid to the dragonflies that would take care of the mosquitos-I am no longer fearful of bugs but realize how much they are a necessary part of everything

the cardinal couples, one in the front of the house and one in the back, insistently chirping at me to refill the bird feeders

the first whipporwills in the spring

the sound of owls, calling to each other from the tops of trees

the rose bushes in front, one blooming only once in early spring, and the other with it's delicate pink full flowers blooming about four times a year - but always just before Christmas and in April around my grandmother's birthday

going out in the middle of the night and not hearing anything but natural sounds

and finally the donkey that could be heard braying all over the neighborhood. He didn't really seem to have a set pattern, but it would always make me smile when I heard him. When I walked the dogs for the last time, saying goodbye to the neighborhood, we heard him braying goodbye.

The house and the land changed me into a person I never thought I would become. Living there has made me a stronger person, has taught me to appreciate quiet, and has left in me a respect for nature that I would never have had living in suburbia.

Goodbye dear little house, and all the trees, birds and wildlife that surrounds you. I hope the next tenants will take care of you and learn to appreciate you like I did.

Ordinary World

I'm sitting at work listening to Ordinary World by Duran Duran, a song I've always liked. But the line, "Where is my friend when I need you most - gone away", really hit me hard today. My best of lunchtime friends, Glenn Mitchell, passed away Sunday unexpectedly. Glenn was the best host of the best radio talk show in this market, and possibly beyond. One of his many, many fans wrote in her online tribute, "he was like a ray of warm sunshine on a cold day." I agree. He was the high point of my work day. No matter how crappy or stressful of a day I was having, my mood would always brighten to listen to him during my lunch hour. I started leaving to go home everyday because of him. His "Everything You Always Wanted to Know" Friday show left me with so many interesting new things in my head that I would write them down to tell my husband later over dinner.

Some of the shows I have been remembering over the last couple of days: The Grace Slick interview - what an ability to laugh at herself. The former Vanity Fair movie review writer (his name escapes me at the moment). He was English and incredibly funny, so funny that I ordered his book that day. ANY Kinky Friedman interview. Every year when he had a band featured in the Irish Festival. The fantastic Art Prostitute introduction. I even looked forward to pledge drive weeks, because his shows would somehow rise even higher. I loved hearing Glenn and Brian Garner talk about the English language. The Brain Trust shows that I never wanted to end filled with therpeutic laughter.

I've learned about places to eat in this area and the wines to order. I heard great Texas music. I learned more about US presidents and politics, ancient history and culture, and broadened my horizons about current issues. I was fascinated with subjects I'd never heard of before - and hung on Glenn's every question to continue finding out more and more and more. I loved hearing his laugh with it's oh-so-human goofy snort. Glenn had such great questions to ask. He was always professional, prepared, kind, gracious and funny.

I came late to the Christmas Blockbuster. I've only listened for the last three years. But last year will always be truly special for me. My husband and I listened while I finished up some Christmas cooking, we wrapped presents until late at night, and went to sleep listening to the Dylan Thomas "A Child's Christmas in Wales", which I had never heard before Glenn's show. Something about that piece makes me feel like I am six years old again, watching for reindeer in the sky. I will make a point to find a print or recorded version of it, so that I will be reminded of Glenn each Christmas and what he brought to my life. He brought so very much - how can I possibly forget? My world suddenly seems much more ordinary.

I am wondering where my friend is - and will miss him every day.

Dream home

We have been moving over the past two weeks. Haven't slept much, have only been eating really bad food - but are finally all in the house. We love our house. Even though we're only just getting to know it, it feels like we've already lived there a long time. It just feels right when we walk in the front door. Now I'm so glad we took all of the long, hot summer to find just the right one. The pets are digging it too. The dogs love their backyard, and are already protecting it with lots of barking (so much for having happy neighbors.) The cats are amazed at how much more room they all have. They love running across the floors and are exploring every corner of the house. So far everyone seems pretty happy, but that may change since we're having to keep Bones indoors for the next couple of weeks. But Jav and I are the happiest. Even as we discover the little problems that can drive you crazy, or discover things that need repairing, we still think it's full of character and everything we've ever hoped for.

Amen

This proves to me that Jimmy Carter could have been one of our greatest presidents, if he had gotten the job in a different time. What a brilliant mind.

Silence is golden, but jazz is jumpin'

I just don't listen to music as much as I used to. As I've gotten older and acquired a more stress-filled life, I like having no TV or radio on at home, especially when the windows are open this time of year. I like hearing the birds and the wind. Of course, Jav and I are apparently extremely old-fashioned and haven't quite endorsed the whole IPod thing just yet. I thought about asking for one for Christmas this year, but we've decided to ask Santa for living room furniture instead. Being an adult is just no fun sometimes.

I still like listening to music when I'm working, though, and have decided that the best kind of music for me to concentrate to is jazz. This is a wide-ranging category, encompassing big band classics like Frank Sinatra, hard-core improvisational Charles Mingus and the old-school countrified jazz of Norah Jones. No other type of music gives me more energy, or a clearer head to concentrate. It's also music that makes me happy. I credit this to my maternal grandparents. I spent a lot of time in their house, and they always had on Guy Lombardo, Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman. They were old school about their jazz. I remember taking them the When Harry Met Sally soundtrack to hear Harry Connick, Jr. for the first time. They thought it was a bit too jazzy for them. I remember them saying, "That's nice, but they lost the melody somewhere". But I kept listening and delving deeper.

It may be goofy to admit, but I really started this love affair when Sting left The Police and made a whole album combining jazz and pop (Dream of the Blue Turtles). I've always loved Sinatra and that big band sound, but I branched out to Tony Bennett and the late great Bobby Short. I determined that sometimes smaller is better, and began discovering that the intimacy of a small combo is just as satisfying as a 16-piece orchestra. I found Wes Montgomery, jazz guitarist extraordinaire. And Oscar Peterson, a large, large man with exquisite touch for his piano. I discovered, quite by accident, a band that has become one of my absolute favorites. Dave's True Story is a smart, sassy combo out of New York with a singer whose voice slips over the clever lyrics like molasses. They had one song, Winter Wonderland, on a Pottery Barn Christmas compilation, and I searched online for them to find more. One of my dreams is to hear them live, but they only tour East Coast.

Check them out here





Currently, I want to search for some Lionel Hampton, Louis Armstrong, Charlie Parker, and Sarah Vaughn at Half Price Books.

But the nearest and dearest to my heart is still Big Band. I would lose track of myself without my Artie Shaw CD. My Deserted Island list would include my Best of Ella Fitzgerald. I guess it just makes me feel six again, safe in my grandparents living room, my grandfather dancing with me standing on his feet, my grandmother jitterbugging with her broom behind us. I guess it just makes me feel that love all over again.

Packing, Moving, Baseball

These are the three things that have kept me from posting recently. We have upped our move date from 11/19, to 11/12, and now it's 11/5. Yikes!! I've gone from thinking I had PLENTY of time to slightly panicking to being absolutely freaked-out within one week. We close on Oct. 28th. On the 29th we have the flooring guy out to give us a quote, on Halloween we will get the foundation repaired, and the rest of the week will bring new fencing, new security system, a new wall (hopefully), and a new fridge delivery.

I've been pondering why I get so panicked about things. Why am I not a calmer, more laid-back person, like my husband? I guess in that department we truly do make up one whole person. I bought a meditation how-to book about a month and a half ago. I did the first exercise, felt pretty silly the whole time, and haven't picked it up since. Not sure if it's the silly feeling or a time issue. Probably a combination of both. Luckily it was only $4 at Half Price Books, my new favorite store.

But I've found a substitute for sitting cross-legged on a pillow humming mantra to myself. It's called Henry. I can pick him up and put him in my lap, and pet him for a good 15 minutes while my brain takes a break and thinks about nothing. I already knew that petting an animal lowers your blood pressure, but I didn't know it could save your marriage and keep you from being put in a padded cell! My husband uses baseball (or any sports, but this time of year baseball is king!) for this calming effect. This works for me to a point, but it doesn't shut down my "what do I need to be doing instead of this" voice. Only Henry works.

Now if I could only train the pets to help me put STUFF in boxes instead of themselves.

No Hablo Espanol

My mother-in-law has a fantastic sense of humor. The reason I know this is because everyone in the room laughs at her jokes. Except me. I am looking at my husband, waiting for a translation. Then I laugh, after everyone else in the room has become quiet again. My husband thinks that my Spanish is as good as his Mom's English. Which is actually not bad, but we are both suffering from a low confidence level and are afraid of trying and making a silly mistake.

When we went to Monterrey to visit La Familia just after Christmas last year, my Spanish started really coming back to me, at least in my head. There is something to that immersion concept. But the one time I tried to speak out loud, I told Javier's male cousin that he was my favorite out of all the cousins. Which would've been great, only I used the feminine version of cousin instead of the masculine. I was horrified. He was very nice about it and laughed, but I haven't tried to say anything out loud since.

I can't believe that after 6 years of grade school Spanish and 3 years of college, I can't form a sentence. I can say, "Hola, como esta?" and "Bien, gracias", and simple phrases like "bonita camisa" (pretty shirt) and "la comida - deliciosa!" (the food - delicious!") But I always leave out the verbs! I know I'll just screw up the verb tense, so I don't say it at all. Which I'm sure sounds worse than screwing it up, but I'm just SO afraid.

So my new goal in life is to have conversations with my mother-in-law. I thought about asking Jav to speak to me only in Spanish, but I'm afraid that might make me frustrated and lead to a fight. I may try leaving our TV on Spanish overdubbing, all the time. I might subscribe to a Spanish newspaper. All I know is that I refuse to give up on this project (like so many others I have started). I want to be able to converse with my husband's family, whom I now consider my family. There's just only so much nodding and smiling you can do!

Soulful instrument

I recently discovered that alot of my favorite songs of all time have a common thread - the Hammond organ. Now, these are not like gospel music, where organ is the main instrument you hear. Either there's a really cool organ solo, or there's just an undercurrent underneath all the other instruments.

Some of the early songs I like with organ are:
The song that started it all for me, my very favorite Beatles song of all time -
I'm Looking Through You (it's on Rubber Soul)
Time of the Season - the Zombies
Never My Love - The Association
Been Too Long on the Road - Bread

Some more recent ones (I'm glad the Hammond hasn't faded into obscurity)
Let Your Soul Be Your Pilot - Sting (ok - I'll admit this one is pretty gospel-like)
Wouldn't Mama Be Proud - Elliot Smith
Speedway at Nazareth - Mark Knopfler
Come On Home - Indigo Girls

Maybe there's a correlation between being raised listening to hymns every Sunday and liking organ in popular songs. I just know that even though the addition of the instrument is very subtle, these songs seem richer and fuller because of that addition. And above all more soulful.

My new favorite show

I absolutely love The Office (the Americanized version) on NBC Tuesdays at 8:30. Now, I never saw the BBC version, which was supposedly even funnier. Maybe that's a good thing, because I have nothing to compare it to and be disappointed. All I can say is that it cracks me up like nothing that's been on TV since Seinfeld. My new heroine is Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam the receptionist. I can SO associate with this character, having had many jobs that I tolerated because I didn't really want to go through the trouble of looking for another one. She has mastered the look of "pained resignation" to perfection. She looks like at any moment she might shout out, "I don't need this #@$#$%%ing job, and I'm sick of you @#$$#*& people!" I love watching her face through the episodes. I'm afraid that I may have that look on my face from time to time, even at my current job. If you've never sat in a cubicle, or had to sit through inane meetings, or listened to the one annoying coworker that remembers everybody's birthday and keeps track of office supplies, then you won't get this show. But if you live that life, if you loved the movie Office Space, and replay the sledgehammer bashing computer scene in your head over and over again while supposedly working, then this show is for you too.

Pam the receptionist

Living off the land

I started a little herb garden about three weeks ago. Everything's thriving except the cilantro, which I've apparently over-watered. It makes me feel so self-sufficient to go outside, clip off some basil or rosemary, wash and dry them and use them for dinner that night. I can't imagine the feeling I'd get if I ever tried a vegetable garden. My grandfather used to have a beautiful garden every year. He'd plant tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, squash, and bell peppers. I think he had lettuce, green onions and potatoes too. He was retired, though, and had enough time to devote a good chunk of time to weeding, watering, and outsmarting pests. I just don't have that kind of time. I think I would just end up frustrated and craving home grown tomatoes with goat cheese and black pepper. And watching some crows eat my tomatoes from afar. Maybe someday I'll try some container gardening. Until then, I will continue to enjoy my herbs - we had yellow and zucchini squash with thyme tonight. I think Bapaw would be very proud.

I'll get to it, one day

Do you ever have projects around the house that grow in your mind to be something so big that you know you'll never be able to finish them? I have one of those. I need to go through about twenty years of pictures. I want to throw out bad ones and duplicates, sort them by date, and pick out certain ones to put in frames. The rest need to be in photo boxes. I went through three envelopes with 24 pictures each today and it took me an hour, just taking my time and reminiscing. I figure at that rate it will take me a full three years to complete. So it just never gets done. And I keep adding more to the pile, although at a slower rate now that we seem to be using Jav's digital camera more. Maybe I'm also putting it off because of the emotional roller coaster I go on as I look through them. I always say I need a really good rainy, cold day to work. But I always end up laying around watching movies instead. Who wants to waste a perfectly good cold, rainy day doing a mammoth project? Give me good old-fashioned procrastination instead!

Pets are family too

I am horrified at so many tragic things that have happened because of the hurricanes and subsequent evacuations. But the thing that gets me the most is that people are expected to leave their homes without their pets. I know not all people think like me. But in this house, our pets are part of our lives, and members of our family, and I can't even fathom leaving them behind. Why can't some of the pet rescue organizations get together with the evacuation centers and have kennels set up? I think I've heard a couple of stories about this type of legislation getting started, and that people should write to their Congress person in support of it. After all, these people are losing everything. Shouldn't they be allowed to keep this happy part of their lives?

I was also moved in a positive way to see so many volunteers trying to help out with pet rescue efforts after Katrina. And to hear how much money was raised by organizations like http://www.noahswish.com/. It turns out there are alot more people who think like me out there than I thought. Maybe with time and luck, all of us can change things for the better.

Paranoid, or Just Prepared?

I was talking to my husband while he was on his way home from work tonight, commenting on how many people up here in North Texas are preparing for Hurricane Rita, and how I thought they were over-doing it just a bit. I haven't heard a new forecast, but yesterday the local newscasts (and I use that word very loosely) told us that Rita would still be a tropical depression by the time it reached the Dallas Fort Worth area, with possible sustained winds of 40 to 50 mph. Now, this is not normal for us, but I feel like things are being blown (no pun intended) out of proportion just to see which network can get the best ratings. My husband agreed that people seem to be over-the-top about this storm. Next thing I know, he has me talked into going tonight to purchase batteries for the flashlight, bottled water, and ice in case we lose power from the winds. I feel like one of those people who rush to the grocery store to stock up on canned goods and firewood at the first mention of freezing precipitation, knowing that we never have more than one good snow or ice day a year around here. But we're going all the same. And at least we don't have to contend with what Galvestonites and Houstonese are dealing with. I do hope that Rita doesn't end up being as devastating as the experts are predicting.

That Most Calming of Places

Continuing my food theme tonight, I wanted to pay tribute to one of my favorite places to visit every weekend: The Haltom City Farmers' Market. I decided about a year and a half ago to purchase my produce from a Farmers' Market instead of a chain grocery store, or, God forbid, Wal-Mart. My reasons for this decision are fresher produce, cheaper prices, and support of local farmers (for the most part). I can't explain the wonderful calm feeling I get as I walk around choosing my fruits and vegetables for the week. I'm not sure if it has to do with the clientele, which is made up of older people and hippie types, with some in betweens thrown in. Or if it's the people that run it - a guy that I think is the owner listened to me for 10 minutes explaining my Elephant Sanctuary T-shirt I had on last weekend. Or if I am just comforted surrounded by all of that healthy, colorful and enticing produce. All I know is that I've come to NEED my weekly visit, almost like a fix. I always walk back to my car whistling and in a great mood.

Eggplant Phobia

I have always been a little afraid of eggplant. They're such big vegetables. I think I may have tried buying one several years ago, but the sight of it intimidated me so much I finally just threw it away. I finally got brave again this past weekend and purchased two for a recipe I was going to try tonight. I decided to just make regular spaghetti and meat sauce, and after frying the eggplant slices, I'll chop them up and add them in the sauce. Our friend Christine makes homemade Eggplant Parmesan every Christmas. It takes her 3 days, waiting for the eggplant to flatten out under an iron skillet and lose all their moisture. It's one of the best things I've ever tasted. I've doused my peeled slices with Kosher salt, and am waiting for them to dry out a little before continuing. I feel like now that I've jumped over this hurdle, I'm ready for my own show on the The Food Network.

Two Genius Authors

About 15 years ago, I read The Stand by Stephen King. If you haven't read it, here's a synopsis: A killer virus that the US was developing as a weapon gets out and most people in the U.S. are wiped out by it. The survivors, along with having to face the gruesome scenes of loss and destruction all around them, have to try to band together to decide what to do next. All survivors seem to be drawn to one of two places - a cornfield somewhere in the Midwest, or Las Vegas. They have one of two dreams. Some have a dream about an old African American woman sitting on her porch in the middle of that cornfield, and some have a dream of a man walking down a road with a crow following close behind. You find out in reading that the cornfield people are inherently good, and the Las Vegas people are inherently bad. And within the two factions you still have people who are instinctive leaders and followers. It truly is one of the best books I've ever read, because the people seemed so real. The people in the "good" faction were heroic and strong at times, and scared to death at others. Some of the "evil" faction were actually having the cornfield dream, but were afraid to tell anyone, and went along with the group. So many different levels of the human psyche were shown in such a realistic way that it was hard to read at times.

Now, I would really like to know if J.K. Rowlings ever read The Stand before embarking on her Harry Potter series. Because the same theory is at play - it's just taking place in a made up world between wizards instead of "normal" humans (or muggles - if you're a fan of the books). I am blown away by her vision of this complex set of stories, and find it hard to conceive that she had it mapped out in her head from start to finish before ever starting to write. And even though it's obvious with some characters that they are on the "good" or "evil" side, with some the author keeps us guessing (Professor Snape, for example). And even Harry has flashing moments where he wonders exactly where he falls in the overall picture. People keep telling him he has all the talents of Valdemort (the leader of the "evil" faction), and seems to be the only other wizard that can hold a candle to him. Harry worries that maybe he is destined to be on the other side. These kids all have such a wide range of emotions and are such the angst-ridden teenagers, and you forget that they also cast spells play tricks with time. That all becomes secondary as you follow the story. And as they grow up, the problems they have to deal with become more and more grown up.

The reason I started thinking about how alike, but different these two stories are was hurricane Katrina. There was a good example on every network of those instinctively good and evil people. People shooting at rescuers. People sacrificing their own safety to help the elderly or infirm. People having to steal just to have food and water while others stole televisions. People saving trapped pets from rooftops and second floors of houses. People who used their government-furnished debit cards to frequent a strip club. People who set up fake Red Cross donation banners and collected cash from people. These are extremes of human nature, good to bad, and they seem to worsen in a crisis. But there are alot of people who fall somewhere in between.

The genius of these two authors is that they both captured this range in their stories. I know how The Stand ended. I can't wait to find out what Harry's destiny truly is.

More confused

OK-now that I've been thinking about my last post, I'm even more jumbled. I guess my whole freedom of religion argument is really for the parents of those kids, not the kids themselves. They aren't old enough to make any bigtime decisions about what they believe or don't believe - they're just going by what their parents tell them to do or not to do. Just like the girl I remember from first grade. So does that make it ok for them to say, "one nation under God" during the Pledge? I have no idea now. It just still makes me mad that the pundits arguing for keeping the phrase in don't think before they speak sometimes.

My husband just pointed out that it seems like the Founding Fathers were all deeply religious, and when they mapped out the Bill of Rights, probably were thinking of freedoms of all to worship God any way they chose. So maybe they were not planning for Agnostics or Atheists. Maybe it just never occurred to them. So he's confused the issue even more in my head now.

I Pledge Allegiance To .....

I been listening to the news surrounding the California judge who found the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional earlier this week. Now, I remember saying this with my hand over my heart, all through elementary school. I think I get why smaller children are expected to learn this and repeat it every day. I am a firm believer in patriotism and encouraging a sense of citizenship. We are pliable at that age, and want to please grownups very badly, and what better time to start fanning the flames of patriotism?

I'm not so sure how I feel about that "under God" phrase, though. I remember that there was one girl in my first grade class who was allowed to stay seated at her desk while the rest of us recited the pledge. She was picked on from time to time because of this, and questioned by all of us as to why, but being 7, she didn't have a good answer other than, "My Mommy and Daddy don't want me to."

The thing that really confuses me about this issue is the quotes from politicians and lobby groups supporting the daily reciting, who want this phrase kept intact. They keep referring to, "our founding fathers" and telling us to remember the "values that made this country what it is today." Well, didn't the first Americans decide to go to America in the first place because their religion was being persecuted? They couldn't worship as they pleased, so they braved the hellish trip to this country, disease, starvation, and too many other hardships to mention so that they could start a new country. And in this new country those founding fathers made sure that they named Freedom of Religion as part of our Constitution. Shouldn't this ideal be respected today, even if a person decides to have no religion? I think so, and I think I agree with this judge's decision.

Besides, at public schools, school should be school. Not church.

The Early Bird

I feed all of our pets at 5:30 am every morning. Even on the weekends. Normally I can go back to sleep for at least an hour on Saturdays, and maybe two hours on Sunday. I couldn't sleep this morning, though, so instead of laying there tossing and turning, I got up. I glanced out the window and noticed the sky was a funny color, and I remembered the old saying "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Red sky at night, sailors delight." Thinking I might see signs of some desperately needed rain, I stepped out on the back deck. There was a beautiful rainbow bejeweling the morning sky. I could see both ends, but the arch was in clouds. Why do rainbows make me feel like a little kid again? They just make me so happy. I debated waking up Jav, but thought better of it and grabbed my camera instead. I realized that I love being up early. I love hearing the screech owls as they finish up their night. I love the moment when the doves start cooing as the first light breaks across the sky. It's the quietest time of the day, and I'm finding that's something I crave more and more these days.

The Ole Ballgame Ain't What It Used To Be

Baseball has been a big part of my life for the past 10 years or so. When I was young, I remember wondering how my grandfather could sit and watch an entire game. It seemed so boring! But I started learning more about the game, and paying more attention, and all of a sudden it was anything but boring. It was so exciting to hang on every pitch of a close game. I loved the history and unchanging nature of the game. It was comforting to think about other people, just like me, or perhaps very different from me, who enjoyed the game decades ago. The game just has not changed much since it's beginnings - and I find that very appealing in a world where things are changing at the pace of a cheetah on speed.

Every spring, I start getting so excited about Spring Training starting up again. And Opening Day is just something everyone should experience. The energy, the fresh faces mixed with the veterans, and the hope of a new season, no matter how dismal the one was the previous year.

But it was just a bad day in the world of baseball when the Rafael Palmeiro story broke. He's always been one of the good guys, that you could always count on day in, day out. I held onto the thought that it couldn't possibly be true. But when it obviously was, my stalwart sport was suddenly knocked completely off its pedestal. I haven't been able to look at the game in the same way since. Because if Rafi was on steroids, that means countless others must have been too. How many outcomes of how many games have been affected by this? How many records are now bogus?

It really disturbed me even more that some people were calling into the local sports talk radio shows to say that they didn't think it was such a big deal. Are we really that complacent - I mean, we're talking about cheating. Flat out cheating. Are we going to bring up our kids thinking that this is ok? That it's alright to copy off someone every once in awhile as long it gets you ahead? That lying to fans, teammates, the media, and even the U.S. Congress is acceptable, and even applauded, as witnessed by the fans who stood up and clapped for him his first game back?

All I know is that I want my simple, unchanged, untarnished game back. The game my grandfather loved. But right now, it's nowhere in sight.

Suggested Films for Your End-of-Summer Enjoyment

We have done really well renting movies lately. We've rented 4 very different movies in a row that I thought were worth mentioning, plus one I saw last winter that was also unique enough to deserve an honorable mention.

Honorable Mention - The Company. Can you recommend a movie based on one scene? This movie is the creation of Neve Campbell (yes, that Neve Campbell from the Scream horror movies). She wrote the concept, which follows the lives of dancers in a ballet company for one season. Robert Altman liked it so much he wanted to direct it. Campbell also stars in it, and dances in it. And does a darn good job dancing in it. I kept watching my favorite scene over and over to make sure it was really her. The movie is a little choppy, the dancers aren't really film actors, and the one recognizable actor besides Campbell, Malcolm McDowell, has an over-the-top performance that will leave your eyes rolling. But it still isn't horrible. In fact, it's a pretty entertaining movie if you like ballet. All of the performance scenes are outstanding. But my favorite is the outdoor amphitheater performance by Neve herself and a partner. The Kronos quartet is on stage playing "My Funny Valentine", (a hauntingly beautiful classic that Campbell decides to use all through the film - but is performed by different artists.) A thunderstorm starts kicking up, but the dancers keep performing through the wind and rain. It's just a lovely scene, in a movie that made me want to get tickets to the next ballet performance at Bass Hall.

1) The Sea Inside. This is most serious of all my suggestions today. This is a Spanish film based on a true story starring the amazing Javier Bardem in the lead role. It deals with the right-to-die issue. I was NOT looking forward to seeing this movie, and told my husband I had the right to bow out at any moment if I thought I couldn't take it. But Bardem's performance is so riveting that I couldn't possibly turn away. He was so likeable, so sad, angry, funny and determined - so human, that I had to know how his story turned out. And although there are some gut-wrenchingly sad moments, amazingly enough, we had a good feeling at the end of it. I won't explain why, because it could possibly sway someone else's viewing experience.

2) The Chorus - Another foreign film, this one from France. The story line takes place just after WWII has ended, and revolves around a French boarding school for boys ranging in age from 6 or 7 to 15 or so. These are not good boys. You could call it a reform school, but unfortunately there's not a lot of reform going on. Until a teacher is hired, hears them singing a taunting verse they've made up to ridicule him, and realizes some of them have pretty good voices. Apparently he used to be a conductor, and still writes music - they never go into his past. He organizes them into a boys choir and rehearses them until they become really good. The headmaster's role is very predictable as a mean-spirited ogre who gave up hope on the boys a long time ago. But the actor playing the teacher is wonderful playing a rather sad character. He has many broken dreams, you sense, when he starts this job, but is transformed by the music the boys start creating, and by the changes that occur in them with some discipline and attention. The actors playing the boys are also great. But the main reason to see this one is the music. The boys have such pure voices - and the scenes of the choir will give you goose bumps. I have added the soundtrack to my wish-list.

3) The Aviator - The only big-budget film in the group. I am not a Leonardo DiCaprio fan at all. But I loved The Age of Innocence by Scorsese - in fact it's one of my favorite movies, so I was willing to see what he did with the early Howard Hughes story. I wish we'd gone to see it on a big screen. I don't think seeing it on television did it justice. But it was still great. The cinematography and special effects are great. The music was great (I loved seeing Rupert Wainwright singing in front of a big band!). And even Leonardo did an outstanding job. I forgot how much I dislike him, and was totally roped into the story. And what a wacky story it was! I've heard snippets about Howard Hughes's life towards the end, when he was already loony with the long beard and nails and living in a sterile penthouse, but that's all I really knew about the man. It's fascinating to see someone with such a forward thinking and brilliant brain go slowly insane. But the best part of the movie for me, without question, was Cate Blanchett's portrayal of Katherine Hepburn. I was a little hesitant about this going in, because I am such a huge Katherine Hepburn fan. I really didn't see how someone could play her. I could see someone totally mimicking her, or not quite capturing her strength and individual nature, with the performance falling flat either way. But Blanchett nails it so wonderfully, so effortlessly, I was stunned. I wouldn't mind seeing the movie again just to watch her.

4) The Upside of Anger - This little gem stars Joan Allen as a VERY angry and bitter wife and mother whose husband has just left her. She has four daughters, ranging in age from early teens to early twenties. Kevin Costner stars as one of her neighbors who starts to move in on Allen. He is an alcoholic ex-baseball player who makes a living these days autographing baseballs and doing a radio call-in show. I had read some about this movie going in, and knew there was going to be a lot of drinking by Allen and Costner. I don't usually enjoy movies about people addicted to anything because sometimes it hits too close to home or dredges up bad memories. But this movie held a few big surprises to rope me in and keep me there. The first thing that caught me off guard was the humor. There are a lot of belly-laugh moments all throughout. And all four daughters give great performances. I knew Joan Allen would be good. She's one of the best actresses out there today. What I was unprepared for was Costner's performance. He has some unforgettable scenes that my husband and I are still talking about. He starts out small and brash and pitiful, but grows (like a virus at times) into someone the family starts to need without even knowing it. And he ends up needing them too. There are a few small holes in the plot, but this is a movie worth seeing. You will be thinking about it long after the credits roll.

I have Bridge on the River Kwai to watch. I've looked forward to seeing this movie for years because 1) it's directed by David Lean, and 2) it caused my parents to have a huge argument when they saw it in the theater years ago. I'm hoping they will finally tell me about it. I will be doing an entire post on David Lean movies once I've seen it. We have some more foreign ones coming up in our queue, and I hope we can keep this good roll going! More to come later.

The Girl Just Wants to Have Fun

Zoe is our crazy girl cat. She was my third cat, and considering her auspicious beginnings, living in a tree outside of our yard, Zoe has an amazing outlook on life. She lived in that tree for about 3 months, during a very cold winter. She would meow at me and the other pets (1 dog and 2 cats at the time) every time we were out in the yard. That time of year, I always come home from work and play with everybody outside until it gets dark 30 minutes later. She started getting braver, gradually working her way down the tree and hanging out by the cyclone fence. One day, she started running after the ball I was throwing for Stanley, and would claw for it through the holes. I, of course, was leaving food and water for her by then, and had determined - what's one more cat? Well, she proved a bit difficult to catch. Plus Stanley had decided she was some kind of strange looking squirrel, and every time she tried to jump on our side of the yard, he would chase her back up in the tree. I was not very pleased with him throughout this ordeal. Finally, though, I caught her and took her to vet, got her spayed and vaccinated and BATHED.

She has proven a little bit of a challenge, having never lost her wild spark. She does not like to be held AT ALL. She will let you pet her, but only on her terms. It's a bad morning when I have to catch her to take her to the vet for some reason or another. She never really learned how to groom herself properly, (we assume because she was separated from her Mom too soon), so she needs to be bathed every 6 months or so. This also gets done at the vet - and when she comes back we remember that she is a beautiful snow white, instead of a grayish color. I don't let her outside at all, and she doesn't seem to mind. I think she had enough of outside during her treehouse life, and realizes that she has it pretty good now.

My husband dotes on her, being the only female cat, and has nicknamed her The Princess. She is a tomboy, demanding to play with the male cats, but then running away in a very girly manner whenever they get too rough. Every time I do yoga, she hangs out with me, curling up just next to the mat. This is the only time she is really touchy-feely, so I reach out and pet her alot during my routine. She rolls on her back and purrs, and looks so very content and relaxed. She teaches me about enjoying the moment, which is really what yoga is all about.

But the biggest thing I'm trying to learn from her is how to have fun. If she isn't eating or sleeping, she wants to play. All the time. We discovered a few months ago that she loves chasing after those little rubber balls that bounce to kingdom come. She actually plays catch with us, batting the balls back to us so we can toss it again. She'll chase me pulling an old shoelace all over the house. And we just recently started playing with her old love - a tennis ball. I realized while watching Zoe playing that sometime over the last year I stopped having as much fun as I used to. I have since determined that life is too short to let problems get you down for long. I've been laughing and cutting up more lately, and I thank her for inspiring me, because I feel alot better.

Zoe, aka "The Princess" 

Decisions, Decisions

I know it's been awhile since I've last posted. We've had some ups and downs over here, and I've been writing in my own private journal for a few weeks. But now I'm back.

Our house hunt has continued, and not only did we find a house we loved, we happened to find two. We saw Dream House #1 about 3 weeks ago, and immediately tried to forget it. Asking price was a tiny bit higher than our upper-end limit. BUT everything about this house was wonderful (of course). Jav and I floated, not walked, through it. It was built in 1952, but had had all kinds of updates to pretty much everything in the house over the past 5 years. It was on an oversized lot (but with no fence, a must for us with the two doggies). Beautiful landscaping, sprinkler system, huge rooms with wonderful original hardwood flooring and new paint, bathrooms with all new fixtures and tilework. The best thing about the house, though, was a completely renovated kitchen, with new cabinetry, huge island with storage and seating, built-in fridge, glassed-in cabinets for china display, HUGE pantry with rotating shelves, a Jenn-Air, the list goes on and on and on. Me being someone who loves to cook, this was just too good to be true. And it turned out to be too good for us to forget.

We wandered through a few more houses, but with very little enthusiasm. We both started talking about the house again, and how we could possibly cut back here and there to afford it. We had three other houses set up for this past Saturday, and even though I promised to keep an open mind, I really didn't think we'd see anything that would even come close to Dream House #1. Until we saw Dream House #2.

This house was newer. (1971). It had been on the market eight days. Smaller square footage, but in a newer, safer neighborhood. Smaller yard, but sizeable enough for the dogs. Everything in the house had been updated - flooring, paint, lighting, bathrooms, carpeting. And it had the Holy Grail of rooms for Javier - a pet room. Actually it was an 11 x 16 sun room, but with ceramic tile flooring, A/C and heating, and plenty of room for kitty litter boxes, dog crates, scratch posts, food and water dishes, and anything else for the perfect pet playroom. It's minutes away from my favorite place to walk the dogs. One bad thing, though, the kitchen was pretty small. Our realtor, though, said she expected this house to be snatched up faster than you could blink.

So then - the hard part started. My two main issues were huge, private yard vs. smaller, suburbia yard and dream kitchen vs. small I'll Have to Learn To Live With It kitchen. Jav had these two, plus he loved having an extra bedroom for a study. After an entire evening and all day today of cussing and discussing pros and cons out the yazoo, I finally started leaning towards Dream House #2. This was after it was determined that we could use the money we would have spent on fencing at Dream House #1 to knock out a wall and make the kitchen big enough for an island in Dream House #2. I also determined that even though we have to leave our wonderful, wildlife-filled yard for suburbia yard, the wonderful wildlife-filled park is two minutes away by car. We decided to make the third bedroom a study for now. We also realized that monthly utility bills would be quite a bit higher in Dream House #1. We also determined that we might be doing nothing but housework and yardwork on the weekends in Dream House #1. In other words, we made some tough compromises, but came up with solutions to any problems, and we think we've made the best decision for us right now.

We'll make an offer tomorrow night, and hopefully no one will beat us - that would be a little gut-wrenching at this point.

But then, of course, there's always Dream House #1 to fall back on in a pinch.

But I Wouldn't Want to Live There

I have an obsession with Russia. I think it's the most interesting place on earth. Probably part of its intrigue is its remoteness and distance from the United States (both in locale and in ideology). I love hearing stories about Russia on NPR. One of their best reporters, Anne Garrules, recently did a series of stories about "The New Russia" and the direction the country is taking. One story was about a young female celebrity with her own talk show promoting free speech, free markets and severely blasting the old-time Russian way of thinking. It seems to be yet another country who seems to be moving very quickly towards an American way of thinking, but then turns around and bombasts Americans and the way that thinking is taking over their country. It's probably generational arguing, between young people searching for a better way of life than their parents have or had, and older ones too bitter and soured by problems in the past to want to change anything now. There is such economic turmoil, which also goes along with the battle over doing things the old way versus the new.

There was an amazing article on Putin in a recent issue of Atlantic Monthly. It went over his history, how he got from point A to point B, and why he seems to think what he thinks. And how sometimes it's hard to tell WHAT he thinks and which way the country is headed. Russia seems to be such a grand expanse of land. I've always wondered if what its citizens in Moscow think is entirely different or the same from people living in the far reaches of the country.

I'm now trying to get through a book about the 10 years after Gorbachev called "Black Earth" by Andrew Meier. He's a reporter who, after living in Moscow for several years, began to wonder what ordinary Russians thought about what was going on in their country. He decided to venture to those far reaching places, well away from his comfort zone and into some really dangerous places. It is not an easy read. There are massacres of Chechens and mob hits on foreigners trying to "make Russia a better place" with Western type construction projects. But it's fascinating to learn more about this place that has played such an important role in our history - and still makes us nervous thinking about the future.

I would love to travel to Russia one day, especially to see St. Petersburg. But I'm not sure I feel that it would be safe to do so now. Maybe one day the country will be a more stable place to visit.

As an addendum to this post, I am thankful that the Russian sub crewmen were safely rescued. I'm glad the military authorities in Russia were much quicker to ask for help from other countries this time, because in doing so they avoided another tragedy like the Kursk submarine back in 2000. Thank God there was a happy ending this time.