Annual birthday party!

The Burfday Boy

The very poorly constructed cake that fell apart after I started cutting it. And Woody kept falling off.

Swingset fun. Gabriel was so happy his best buddy Lenah came to the party.

My Dad and Joel, who tolerated all the excitement really well. Joel did pretty well too! (Hah)

Gabriel and Luke (a.k.a. Lukey-Luke), his best friend from preschool. He had stitches in his chin that popped open during the party when he landed really hard after sliding down our slide. He had to leave and go to the emergency room to get stitched back up, which we felt horrible about. I gave him a big piece of cake to try to ease his pain!
Mom and Joel. who looks disgusted with the lack of attention he was getting.

I tried something new this year. I made Gabriel pose for a picture with every group as they left the party. I'm not sure if I'll do that again because it was kind of a bummer for him to have to stop having fun. Aunt April, Uncle Philip, Cade and Macy.

Just after he blew out the candles, he looked around the entire room full of people and had the most joyful smile on his face. That moment right there was worth all of the work and then some.

Mamaw and Poppy and Uncle Dave.

Tia Sandie and boyfriend Michael with daughter Lizzie. His older daughter Grace couldn't come.
Andrew with Molly. He's so sweet with animals.

Godparents Aunt Christine and Uncle Keith, with kids Andrew, Allison and Matthew.

I just love, love, love this picture.

And to prove that we made it through another party. Joel is either giving his brother a love pat or smacking him in the back of the head. We have no way of knowing which!

Birds

I am intervening from trying to catch up with family events to tell about two really cool bird sightings.

The first is that we have a really big red-headed woodpecker that occasionally graces us with its presence and eats from our hanging feeder in the backyard. It is one of the prettiest birds I've ever seen, and I believe that it visits us every time around this year. I'm not sure if they migrate or not, but I'm thinking they do. I can't quite get the camera out quick enough to catch it for a picture, but I will keep trying.

The other thing happened last night. The kids and I finished eating and since it was almost dark decided to go out to turn on our Halloween lights for the evening. (Jav was working late so he missed this). We always turn on Gus, our scariest of scary guys, for Gabriel to enjoy a few times before heading back inside. I was trying to convince him to come in when we heard this strange sound from the trees in our neighbors yard across the street. I was convinced it was a kitten yowling, and we walked over to try to see exactly where the noise was coming from. But it was really hard to tell because the sound was so high. I was saying, "Kitty kitty kitty" and making my cat call noise, but it just kept making the sound. We noticed that our neighbor Helen had walked out and strolled over to talk to her. She said that whatever it is, it's not a cat, because she hears it many evenings and from different trees all around her house. I realized it was just dusk, and it hit me that it was a screech owl. I had heard them from farther away when I lived in the country, and I knew there were some around here. But this was the first time I had heard one up close and personal, and was amazed that it didn't fly away even though we were standing right under it. The reason the sound was so hard to pin down was because it had been changing trees. Gabriel wanted to go in and get a flashlight, but I explained that these owls liked to be really high up and weren't very big, so there was little chance we could see them. I think we will try to go out again at the same time when Jav is home and try to hear it again.

The Joelster

I haven't posted about Joel in awhile, so I thought I'd take a break and catch up with our little guy. That is, if we can catch him!

He has no fear. His crawl finally kicked in high gear and there's been no stopping him since. Gabriel was pretty content to stay in one room and play for awhile. Not Joel. He is constantly circling the house and I have to watch him non-stop! He crawls with purpose, lifting his hands way up and smacking them down on the floor as he goes. Up until a couple of weeks ago he was pulling up to his knees anywhere he could reach. But then that changed to feet. He's already had some bad falls and has learned to be cautious when he pulls up on new things. And then, Thursday afternoon I looked up from cooking dinner to see him walk across the living room pushing the footstool my grandfather made, which was shocking, funny and sentimental all at the same time. It's the perfect height for him to lean on.

He can communicate already without talking. Gabriel had this cute move in his highchair, where he would lean his head over, always to his right side, and we'd say, "Aawwwww look at the baby!" Joel started doing it, but to the left, and I always touch his face when I say the Awwwwww! Yesterday I didn't and he took his own hand and touched the side of his face while making sure I was watching him. I caught him holding the toy phone up to his ear one day. At the zoo last week, he had been fussing about something for awhile, and I finally noticed him trying to unfasten the strap around him in the stroller.

He loves to follow Gabriel around and do exactly what he's doing. Same toys, instruments, it doesn't matter what it is. They play a crawling form of chase all over the house. For some reason, he wants to put his mouth on everything all of a sudden. The dishwasher, his quilt, the door to his room, the crib, the rocking chair all get special Joel kisses all day long. He was staying at Jav's parents one day and they had him sitting in the big plastic car in the backyard, and couldn't believe he was already turning the steering wheel from side to side and turning the key in the ignition. Then he'd stop and throw the football back at his Tito. He's already so far ahead of where Gabriel was at his age, I guess because he's got a big brother to catch up with.

He is trying all kinds of new foods daily and my nursing is starting to slow down. We are down to three times a day with one overnight feeding. But then he'll have a tough night where he wakes up three or four times. My hormones are not amused. I think he may finally be working us and just wanting Mommy to be in the room with him until he falls back asleep. During the day it's hard to get him to sit still long enough to nurse. He kicks his feet and squirms around, and wants to see everything going on around us.

Of course, all of this growing up is breaking my heart a little. I'm not ready to say goodbye to his babyhood and hello to toddlerville just yet. I breathe him in every chance I get to smell that sweet baby smell, the one that I wish I could bottle up because I know it's going to go away. And he's such a sweet, sweet guy. He gives HUGE hugs that you can tell he really means. He's starting to lay his head on my shoulder when he's tired. I love it when he wakes up at night and talks to me ( in his own baby language) about what is wrong until I start to feed him.

I think I have magical thinking when it comes to Joel, even now. You would think by now I wouldn't still be in awe that we actually get to have two of these wonders running around. (Well, at least one is close to running!) It's hard to explain, but we expected to have Gabriel. When we found out about Joel, all hope of having another one on our own had been gone for awhile, and we had moved on to other plans. Sometimes I look at him and feel in my heart that he is actual proof that God exists and answers your prayers. That's alot of weight to carry on such small shoulders, and I need to get over it. But watching my two boys playing on the floor, both laughing, I can't help but be humbled by the powers in the universe that have brought my life to this point in such an amazing way.

Addendum: When I read this back it sounded to me like I think Gabriel is just ordinary and not special in any way. So this is just for him, so that later when he reads all of this he will understand a little better what I was trying to say.

Gabriel, when you came into our lives it was like opening the big giant present under the Christmas tree that you'd been looking at for weeks, the one that you hoped was the thing you wanted most in the world, and thought it probably was but you were still just so, so happy to find out that it was. And Joel coming into our lives was like someone pulled out one last package from behind the couch, one that you didn't know about at all, so it was really exciting to open. I hope that clears things up.

Pizza night

Yesterday Gabriel had been in trouble after school because he wouldn't mind me AT ALL about rest time when we got home from school. First I threatened no visit to Mamaw and Poppy's that afternoon. Then I threatened to take away TV and computer. Then cars and trucks, and finally no music or instrument playing. None of them worked. So he was pretty much stuck with reading books or playing pretend games the rest of the day.

And as these things go, it ended up being such a fun afternoon. Gabriel had received a robot from our neighbors, George and Billie, for his birthday, and he and Joel crawled around on the floor after it. We played with the dinosaurs. Gabriel was funny because at first he was having the big dinosaurs eating some of the smaller ones, and when I said something about how sad that was, he started having the big ones spit them back out.

It got to be dinner time, and Joel gets to watch a half hour of either Tellytubbies or Baby Einstein. Gabriel decided to hang out with me in the kitchen, and started out reading some books. But then I asked if he wanted to help me make dinner, and he said yes! Thursday is pizza night at our house, and last night I was making turkey sausage, mushroom and black olive with Alfredo sauce and mozzarella cheese. I chopped and grated and he help me put things on the pizza. I've read somewhere that if kids help with dinner they are much more likely to try new foods and eat them.

And it was true! He ate an entire piece, mushrooms and all. Maybe it had to do with him going through a growth spurt, because he gets really hungry and will try just about anything! But it really warmed my heart. I will not push him to help again, but I will definitely ask every once in awhile because we both had a great time. I can't say that I hope he will get in trouble again soon, but maybe he'll keep wanting to help on pizza night. IF I can tear him away from the computer games.

Oh, and notice the President placemat sitting underneath his food in the picture above? Tia Sandie and Michael brought it back from DC for him. He has now learned half (22) of our Presidents by sight. First and last names. We play the President game every night at dinner. The way he remembers them varies. There's the one with crazy hair. And one with wet hair. There's the three in the "long beard" group. There's two named Franklin and two with the last name Johnson. But the reason the game got started was because of the really bald ones, which he calls "baby head Presidents". (John Quincy Adams, Eisenhower, and Ford). This seemed totally innocent until we were on vacation eating dinner one night and Gabriel pointed to man walking by and said (loudly, of course), "Look, that man has a baby head!" Oops. We're working on reversing that mistake.

Ducks

I'm trying to get caught up on posts since that vacation one took me about three weeks to finish!

Labor Day weekend we went to Randol Mill Park to feed the ducks and have a picnic for my mother-in-law's birthday. That's what she wanted to do.

It was a little too warm to walk around the pond, but we did a little walking. Tia Sandie also brought a big ball that we played catch with.

I can't figure out who Joel looks like in this picture.

Mmmmmmmm. Italian Cream cake from Central Market. I'm sorry Nana, but it was just as good as your homemade version!

Joel just laughed and laughed at the silly birthday blowy doohicky (what do you call those things?)

The Birthday Girl!

The instrument game

Gabriel is obsessed with The Instrument Game. We listen to songs and he asks, "What instruments do I hear?" and I say, "You tell me" and sometimes he can get them all and sometimes I have to help out a little. He can pick out flutes, cellos, violins and conga drums in songs. And accordions and harps and saxophones. His absolute favorite, though, is the banjo. His favorite song to sing is Oh, Susanna, because of the banjo.

I've had an early Beatles CD in the car for about a month, and you would think he would get tired of the instrument game when all there is to choose from is lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass guitar and drums. For pretty much every song! Now he's learned most of the words, and it's so cool to hear him singing, "Eight Days a Week" or "I Don't Want to Spoil the Party" around the house. The inside of the CD had a black and white picture of the band playing somewhere, maybe the Ed Sullivan show. He carries it with him around the house and just stares at it. Every once in awhile he names them off, just to make sure he has them right. He takes it with him in the car and stares at it while he's listening to the CD. We got him a Beatles t-shirt and the movie Help for his birthday. I figure I will cash in on this obsession until he starts to hate them in a few years!

He loves all types of music and lately we've been sitting with him going through You Tube videos of people actually playing these instruments. We found one of an older man playing Oh Susanna, with an actual banjo, and he gave him a standing ovation afterwards. I made him a CD for his birthday with all the popular songs I can think of that have crazy instruments in them. There's some REM, Johnny Cash, Asleep at the Wheel, even some Stones.

We're thinking of getting him a little drum kit for his birthday, which is certifiably crazy, but we don't care. I still think he's too young for lessons and all of the structure they bring, so why not just let him do his thing for at least another year? Then we'll see. He's actually getting pretty good keeping up with the rhythms on songs, so who knows? And of course, his little brother, who wants to do everything Gabriel is doing, has started playing the toy piano (he stands on his knees), and plucking on Gabriel's toy guitar. I can already see "garage band" in the future. Better start pricing soundproofing.

A few more vacation shots

Mama I don't want to go back down to the beach.

Three generations of dudes who love to go down to the beach.

We took this shot just before noticing the sign that said, "Please do not place hats on children for photos." Oops.

The whole motley crew.

The Great American Vacation

Have you ever REALLY needed a vacation? Well, we did. We have not been out of town to get away for a long time, with Joel and all. We started planning this trip in May, when Jav went down to the condo to do his yearly cleaning and maintenance. He had wanted to take Gabriel with him, knowing that it would probably be the last trip to the beach in a long time. And possibly the last long trip with Jav's parents since his father's health is starting to decline. I suggested waiting until we could all go, and renting a minivan so that we could all comfortably travel down there. You see, I love my in-laws, not just for the help they provide with the kids, but just because. They are truly wonderful, warm and funny people and I have grown to love them in the last 8 years.

So we finally nailed down a date and started major planning. We thought the day would never get here, especially when both kids and then me came down with bad colds the week before leaving. We still had to postpone our trip by a day due to Joel. It's such a hard and long car trip even when the kids feel good, that I just didn't see it working at all when he didn't feel well. It was great that we could wait an extra day because I think it really made a difference on how he and I felt when we finally left Sunday morning. Here are some of the highlights:

We knew we were in for a long drive when Gabriel yelled out at the intersection of B.Stair and 820, "We're almost at the beach!" But really the kids did amazingly well. I overpacked, of course, so there was very little room for people in our van. But we made it to Fredericksburg just in time to meet with my Great Uncle and two Great Aunts. That was the whole reason for stopping there on the way, because they had never seen Joel and we haven't visited in about a year and a half. All of them are in their upper 80's so I really wanted to see them. Being tired from the drive, we didn't think to take the camera inside and don't have any pictures of Uncle Robert holding Joel on his knee, or Gabriel showing Aunt Lou and Aunt Gena his favorite car book. OR of Joel pulling up to a standing position for the first time ever on their ottoman. I'm still mad at myself about that. We ate dinner at Auslander, one of the more touristy German restaurants, but they have really good German beer, and it was fun. I wanted to leave really early the next morning, but was out-voted. So I resigned myself to just take our time and get to Padre whenever. We had some stress trying to get both kids to bed at the same time in the same room, but after about 30 minutes of laying down with them they were quiet.

For breakfast the next morning, we ate one of our best meals at a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that used to be a bar on the outskirts of town. Man, was that good food!!!! Traditional too. My father-in-law got menudo, and I think I would have even tried it. The tortillas were homemade. Just so, so yummy! Now that I think about it, I think it was the best meal on the trip. The next two pics are from there. I love the one of Joel dancing with his Tita, and I wish the one of Gabriel with the pinatas would have turned out better.

That second day was a LONG boring drive, as we all knew it would be. I passed some time with Gabriel showing him how to play air guitar, piano, drums, horns and just about anything we could think of while we were listening to his music. By the time we were driving through Harlingen (with still an hour before you get to the island), Joel had HAD it and couldn't figure out why Mommy was two feet away but couldn't hold him. It was so good to finally get there around 5:30. I tried to get the kids settled in while they all unpacked the van and brought in our tons of stuff. Jav took Gabriel down to say hello to the beach, with the promise that we would be seeing much more of it during the whole week. But then we realized at 7 that we still had to get groceries for the week. We decided to take both kids with us after we fed them dinner. Joel passed out sometime during our shopping trip, but Gabriel was wired. It was fun, though. How come even mundane grocery shopping is funner when you're on vacation? We got home and didn't get the kids into bed until 11 something, then all the adults ate dinner. What a long, hard day. But we were at the beach, so who cared?

Our first time to the beach with Joel didn't go well at all. He still had a bad cold, so runny messy nose that drives Mama crazy. Then, we didn't put sunscreen on them until we got down to the water. BIG mistake. It was an itchy mixture of sand and sunscreen, and it was really hot and we didn't have any shade. Jav was contemplating renting one of the big umbrellas and beach chairs when I decided that Joel just needed to go back to the nice air conditioned room and have a bath. He was much happier and immediately took a nap. The pic below shows a happier, cleaned up Joel back at the condo watching TV. Ahhhh. Jav and Gabriel stayed a little longer, but it was just really hot the first couple of days. We met a really nice couple, Jesse and Frida, from Texarkana while we were down that first morning, and saw them occasionally on the trip. After lunch I decided to try and get both boys down for a nap, something we did every day after that. The bedroom has huge thick drapes that don't let in any sunlight, so I started calling it The Cave. I always hold Joel during nap time, and it was so sweet to have Gabriel sleeping right next to us. Once when I woke up for a few minutes Gabriel had his hand on Joel's foot.

In the afternoons we decided to hit the pool since it was entirely shaded by about 4:30. I debated about putting Joel in the water, but decided it was ok as long as his head didn't go under. He loved floating around with Mommy. Jav and I took turns working with Gabriel on all he had learned in swim class this summer. Then we would all get cleaned up and bring in takeout for dinner. We only went to one nicer (kind of a stretch) restaurant, Blackbeard's while we were there. One funny thing Gabriel did during dinner one night was start talking like a robot. Completely out of the blue. We were having trouble understanding him and everyone was getting kind of frustrated because he wouldn't repeat anything in regular talk, just robot talk. All of a sudden, he said, "I'm freaking everybody out" in robot talk, and we all died laughing and couldn't stop. I don't know where he heard that, but just the fact that he understands things and knows the exact moment to say them amazes me. He has impeccable comic timing.

The next morning at the beach went a little better, but Joel still didn't like it too much. We stayed long enough to see something really cool, though. A pod of dolphins were making there way along and we could see them jumping up out of the water as they went. I started noticing Joel messing and pulling on his ears on this day, but he still wasn't really fussy so I held off on getting the antibiotic filled. That afternoon in the pool Joel discovered that if he kicked his legs like he loves to do on the ground, the water would splash really high! We got some funny video of that. Jav and his Dad drove to the airport in Harlingen to pick up Tia Sandie, who was going to spend the rest of the trip with us and ride with us back home. That night Gabriel had alot of trouble going to sleep and started saying he wanted to go home. I think he was just over tired and wanted his bed.

Each day we woke up a little later. I can't believe how much sleep I got on this trip. I decided to try feeding Joel before we went down to the beach and he fell asleep. Tita agreed to watch him while I went down with Jav, Gabriel and Sandra. What a fun morning we had. The weather had turned (the heat spell in FW broke the day before with a high of 77!!!), and it was cloudy and the waves seemed much bigger. We had a blast jumping in them. Then build a sand castle. I didn't want Tita to deal with a fussy Joel so I went back after a couple of hours. He seemed to be messing with his ears even more, so Friday we filled the prescription the the doctor had given us before we left. It turns out now that we're back home and he's still messing with them that his hair has grown long enough to keep hitting the back of his ear.

That night after dinner Jav, Gabriel and Sandra walked down to the beach with a glowstick to look for crabs. They got to see quite a few creatures, including one that we all now call Sandworms (from BeetleJuice) that Tia Sandie ran from without any regard for anyone else but herself. She was telling them to run from the "big, rattley funny-looking things". How comforting! I really wanted to go, but decided to stay and get Joel to sleep. A dad and his daughter (Gabriel's age or so) had been catching hermit crabs and she showed hers to Gabriel. Once again, Gabriel had a blast.

Our last day at the beach sadly came. And with it brought a pretty fussy Joel. So I didn't go down to the beach that last morning. Sigh. But I got another nap with Joel in the Cave. Aaahhhhh. And did some packing. Jav decided to shell out the dough to rent an umbrella for the day in case his parents wanted to go down later in the day. Tia Sandie stayed down there all day. She and Gabriel were getting really good at sand castles by now. We all had a late lunch and after a brief quiet time for Gabriel went down to the pool. Jav and Gabriel swam and swam while Tito, Joel and I watched. There was a girl walking around in a bikini who came up to show us her three-month-old. What do women do to themselves to lose that much weight that fast after giving birth? Whatever it is, I didn't do it!!! We all went down to the beach to say goodbye to the ocean and take some pictures. We wanted a good one of Joel sitting in the sand just like the great one we got of Gabriel when he was 13 months old (and we ended up using it for Christmas cards that year). But Joel wouldn't look up, the sun was too bright, and started to eat sand. Which made him upset because it didn't taste good. So no great picture. Plus our camera started washing out all the outside shots. We must have hit a button or something.

Everyone but Joel and I decided to drive down to the souvenir shop before dinner to shop for people and get a picture of Gabriel in the shark's mouth. (No beach trip would be complete without it!) A friend of Tia Sandie's from college, Gilbert, came by to say hello, meet Joel for the first time, and then take Sandra out for dinner. We got the kids to bed after dinner and started packing everything up. This was a sad time because Jav is trying to sell the condo and this will probably be the last time to visit, other than cleaning up once it sells. He stood on the balcony for a long time, and I knew his heart was aching. Buying that condo had been a dream of his for a long time and he has so many happy family memories there, not just from his immediate family but of relatives coming up from Mexico to stay, and then finally of me and the boys. But it is becoming more trouble and expense than it is worth, and it's something we have to do in order for me to keep staying at home for now. All I could do was give him a big hug.

We left for San Antonio the next morning, with everybody a little melancholy about going home. And about that 7 hour drive. Ugh. We stopped for lunch at what's quickly become a favorite of mine: Bill Miller BBQ. It was here that Tia Sandie decided she finally figured out who Joel reminded her of: John Wayne. We had a really good laugh over that one. Then we had one of the funniest things on the trip happen when everybody was loading up in the car to leave, but it really was one of those "had to be there" moments and is too elaborate and confusing to explain. We all had tears rolling down our face when we finally headed out again. Those are the moments we'll remember for the rest of our lives, and how stories get passed down.

When we arrived in San Antonio, we unpacked the car and decided to rest and clean up a bit before heading across the street to Mi Tierra's (pictured above) for dinner. We had some issues with our hotel room. I found a beer bottle cap on the floor, and then we noticed Joel's little feet were BLACK from crawling around on the carpet for only about 15 minutes or so. YUCK!!!!!! We didn't let him down again after that. We could only hope that the bedding was cleaner than the floors (something we just tried not to think about). On a lighter note, one of the neatest things on this trip happened when Jav discovered the little guy below, a bat, living up under the second floor roof of the motel. Gabriel is really into bats right now so was really excited to see an actual one on this trip. We never saw it fly away, but once it got dark he was stretching out his wings like he was going to start his nighttime hunting. It was amazing how much bigger he got once his wings were all untucked.

We had a fantastic time at dinner, then walked around the marketplace for awhile. Tia Sandie bought Gabriel a little guitar. We watched some kids riding the mechanical bull. We stopped and listened to a mariachi band, which Gabriel loved. I danced with him for two songs, which we both loved. I really couldn't believe Joel was maintaining any sense of calm though all of this considering he still didn't feel well, but he seemed to love seeing all the colors and hearing all the sounds. We made our way back to our rooms and ate churros for that special sugar rush just before bedtime. Gabriel kept wanting to play his guitar so we had to bribe him with watching TV until he fell asleep. We found a Lenny Kravitz concert that he and Jav watched until he finally conked out.

The next morning some of us had been hoping for a really good breakfast before heading home, but the wait anywhere was 45 minutes plus since we got going so slowly. We walked around the main indoor market place, and Gabriel's Tita bought him a real set of bongo drums (he had a toy one that he had torn up playing with real drumsticks at home). We had one last pass around the outdoor market, then loaded up and headed home.

I don't think Joel will remember this trip, but I'm sure Gabriel will remember much of it. It was very special to take with Jav's parents and sister. I really want to take a trip with my parents sometime in the future because it just makes that grandparent/kid relationship even closer to spend that much time together. (What a shameless hint, Mom!)

Four Years Old!

Where have these four years gone? Happy birthday to my sweet Gabriel, who continues to amaze me every day. I love you sooooooooooooooooo much!

Too young to drive

I'm happy and singing, just driving my bus. "The wheels on my bus go round and round..."

Hey Zoe, get outta my way!!!!!

Honk, honk. HONK, HONK. LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

License revoked! But at least the cat is okay.

Sense memory-summer

My neighbor Helen (who is in her seventies and just the neatest person) and I got to talking about memories on the way home from the grocery store a few months ago. She thought it was remarkable that a certain smell can conjure up another place and time. I've been thinking about our conversation alot lately, and realize that all of our senses can hold memories. I wanted to get some of these logged. This first post will cover memories about summer, which is quickly coming to a close this year.

The smell of chlorine in swimming pools makes me think of summer evenings at the Y with my Mom and brother, where lots of times we had the giant pool almost to ourselves. Years later when I was going through much turmoil in my first marriage I would walk my dog Stanley past the apartment swimming pool and be calmed by that smell. When Gabriel plays in the sprinkler I am taken back to several different backyards where we would take what my Mom called "shower baths" in the sprinkler.

I think food smell memories are the strongest. One food smell memory takes me to our summer trips to visit relatives near Corpus. My Aunt Sarah was a wonderful cook, but something about her green beans were magical. They were picked fresh from the garden and simmered with onion and bacon, and you could even smell them cooking outside where we played on the tire swing. Mouth-watering! And yet another one takes me to Fredericksburg where we used to stay with my Aunt Lou and Uncle Robert. When we woke up in the morning, the smell of breakfast cooking always lured us to the kitchen. But it was the smell of my Aunt Lou's homemade brown bread toasting that I will always remember. I think those trips turned me into a toast junkie. When I need to be comforted after a bad day I can always count on the smell of bread toasting to calm me.

And finally, this isn't a smell but a feel. Whenever I walk on thick St. Augustine grass, I am transported to my grandparents' backyard where my brother and I would spend countless hours playing croquet, having handstand contests or exploring my grandfather's wood shop. I can feel the cool grass beneath my bare feet, taste the pink lemonade and smell my grandmother's freshly washed linen hanging on the clothesline. Summer, summer, summer.

After the boy of summer is gone

Gabriel and I dancing to a mariachi band in San Antonio. More about our trip to come.

Even though my kids are too little for REAL back to school blues, I still feel a little sad that Gabriel goes back to Mother's Day Out next week. I am amused by the fact that I was slightly terrified when the summer started. How was I going to cope with those Tuesdays and Thursdays that normally kept him busy most of the day? Well, we have had such a fantastic and fun-filled summer that I can't keep up with everything we've done.

We had zoo trips, with and without Joel. All of which were fun. We had a FW Museum of Science and History visit. We had the funnest 4th of July weekend, with a parade, a Ranger game, and Toy Story 3. We had his best friend's Lenah's birthday party. We went to a dancing dinosaur show. We had a terrific visit from our NJ friends. We had two weeks of swim lessons. We had Joel's baptism and barbecue. We had family birthdays and tons of grandparent time. We had three play dates in one week. We had our fantastic trip to the beach. And there were things on my "list of things to do" in my head that we never got to, like visit Daddy for lunch one day.

But sometime during the summer, I realized that I was craving some "do nothing" time. So I started making sure we had a little more of it. Time to just sit on the floor and enjoy this boy, who is no longer a toddler. Time to get down the Sesame Street car repair shop down and turn it into a dinosaur playground. Time to gather every emergency vehicle we can find and make our own 4th of July parade. Time to key up the Ting Tings on the Ipod and jump around the room until we collapse in a heap on the floor. Time to sit on the porch swing and watch the orange butterflies that now come back every summer flitting around the yard. Time to just hold him, because he is growing up so very, very fast, and doesn't want to sit still for long anymore.

I've loved every stinking minute of it, and I am sad to see it go.

Comparing cowboys

Our newest little cowpoke.

Gabriel at 8 months

Gabriel now.

Little ecosystems

I'm a true believer in the power of ecosystems. If you don't meddle very much with nature, things happen as they are supposed to.

I can't believe people buy the Ortho, Round Up or Scotts this and that, and thereby believe in the theory that if you kill absolutely every living thing in your yard then you will be happier and it will be a better place. I'm actually surprised that these products are still allowed to be sold because of what ends up getting in the groundwater.

We never put pesticides or weed killers in our yard, and have used only organic fertilizer since we moved into this house. We stopped getting rid of wasp nests with bug spray. As a result, we have a thriving population of "good" creatures that keep the "bad" creatures under control. We have geckos the size of small gators. I have seen possibly three cockroaches around our house since we moved in 5-1/2 years ago. We have the geckos to thank for that.

Twice now, I have caught little lizards drinking from our shallow water dishes. That's why I think it's alright to meddle a little bit with nature, and help them out with some water during the dry times. I also see bees, wasps, and other bugs taking drinks, and we all know how important these little guys can be in the big pollination picture now.

And of course, we have a thriving bird population. I think waking up to the short little "chirps" of our cardinal couples is the nicest alarm clock you could have. I always get panicky when we have long, hot, dry spells like the one we're in. I worry about things I have no control over, like the ducks in our shrinking duck pond I mentioned in an earlier post. Then I realize that all I can do it make sure our little ecosystem around our house is well taken care of. And it appears to be thriving.

Funny

Nope, not sleepy at all. Rarin' to go!

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My eyes weren't closed. Really, I'm not tired!

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Swim class

Gabriel just completed nine swim lessons in 11 days. I was not too jazzed about this intensive method. I originally thought it might be better to take a class in which he went once a week through the whole summer. Considering we don't have anywhere to swim regularly, I was afraid he wouldn't retain anything and the whole thing would be a waste of money. But Jav's sister had told us about Mr. Bryan, and how everyone who had taken from him had nothing but really wonderful things to say about him. So we decided to give him a shot.

Well, he is more than wonderful, he's a miracle worker. After two lessons I began to realize that this man really had a knack for getting kids to have fun, and therefore lose all fear of the water. There's only two kids per class, and Gabriel's swimming buddy was Nathaniel (pictured above), who turned 3 in May and was a little wisp of a kid. By the end of the two weeks, Gabriel was swimming underwater for short distances, could jump in on his own (with alot of trepidation, but still), could touch the bottom and swim up by himself at 5 feet deep, and could float on his back really well. Nathaniel was doing even more, probably because he had already been swimming in his neighbor's pool all summer. But the best part about it was the look of pure joy on my son's face the entire time he was in the water. I don't think I've ever seen him so continually happy. So I am now a believer in Mr. Bryan. He holds the kids, makes corny jokes that they love over and over again, builds their confidence and knows how to motivate with patience and understanding. I now think the other method leaves an entire week for them to doubt their abilities, so they start every class a little nervous. We're going to have Gabriel in two back-to-back sessions next summer with Mr. Bryan (an entire month of lessons), and that boy will know how to swim afterwards. I don't have a single doubt now.