Boys and other random things: Jan through March 2017

As we were looking back over my posts from when the boys were babies, we realized how much we have forgotten about it all.  It makes me sad to realize we forget anything.  But it also makes me want to find some time to just hit on some things we might forget.  My accounting brain decided to try quarterly reports.  Hah.

Joel:

He gave up racing his Hot Wheels Nascar cars for Lent.  The afternoon of Ash Wednesday we found him lining up little bouncy rubber balls on his race track to race them instead.  Yesterday he thought of coins, and borrowed all the change from his dad's nightstand.  He now has his own Fantasy Nascar team where he picks five drivers each weekend, and he studies for this more than anything he does for school.

He just came and asked one of his typical, out-of-the-blue DEEP questions:  "Mommy, how does God hear everyone when they are praying?  EVERYONE?  How can he do that?"  I answered carefully, because trying to explain the concept of omniscience is tough with a 7-year-old.  I asked if he hears Father Eric during each Mass say, "The mystery of Faith".  He did.
Me:  "Do you know what mystery means?"
"No."
"It means something that can't be explained, or looked up in a book.  So God being everywhere and being able to hear everything is something we can't explain.  It's sort of like He is the greatest super hero EVER and has some amazing powers."  I am not sure that was a satisfactory answer.  But he walked away.

Joel has found a good friend, Thomas, who is very much like him, loves baseball and video games.  The only difference is Thomas is waaaaayyy into super heroes and J not so much.  But they've been to each others houses for sleepovers and things went pretty well.  I really like his parents, Ana and Pete.  They are older parents like us and seem very level-headed, willing to help at the school, but they're also fun.  We spent New Year's Eve at their house and had a good time.  Definitely a couple we would like to hang out with more - if only we can find time.


Huge news for this boy is his grades.  This quarter is the first quarter ever that he is eligible for Honor Roll, and he made A-B honor roll!   I'm so proud of him.  I can be a little Tiger-mommish when it comes to grades.  Jav is always on me to lighten up and realize if they are trying hard it doesn't matter what grade they get.  But I know how smart they both are so this is difficult for me.  But Joel has a very tough teacher this year and I wasn't expecting much, but he has surprised me with these grades.  He still will say out-of-the-blue, "I don't think I want to go to high school or college.  It's going to be really hard by then".  We remind him that each year you have to learn more and work a little harder, and if you do the next grade won't be that bad.  He grumbles and moves on.   On the other hand we have Gabriel who is already thinking seriously about where he wants to go to college.  He can't wait.  Man are they different.


Gabriel:
Gabriel and I went to see School of Rock at Theatre Arlington.  It was a total youth cast, even the parts of adults.  It was fantastic!   I think Gabriel has the theater bug BAD but unfortunately the camps for that type of thing are really expensive.  ($300+ as opposed to $150-175 we pay for others.)   He already decided to attend Rock Camp at his music school again this summer so he's got to make those tough choices next year.

Gabriel has given up games on the Ipad for Lent.  He wasn't quite ready to give up all video games yet.  I wish he had given up arguing.  Sheesh.

He has grown at least 2 inches since Christmas and his school pants are all of a sudden too short.  We're going to get one new pair for Friday Mass, and the rest of the time he will just have to flood away.  Just when we thought Joel might catch him, he shot up.  But now Joel is following suit and seems determined to pass him.  They will both be taller than Jav's mom any day.

And in the WOW department, Gabriel's good friend Charlotte asked him to go with she and her family on a crazy two-night road trip to Carlsbad Caverns!  They have four kids ranging from Charlotte (4th grade), Emily (7th), Katherine (Senior in HS) and Michael (Junior at University of Dallas).  They each brought someone, so 10 people in 2 vehicles with 2 hotel rooms.  G stayed in his sleeping bag on the floor with Charlotte, her mom, dad and Michael.  All the other girls were in the other room.  They drove out Tuesday morning, stopped for sand dune sledding at Monahans Sandhill State Park, and arrived at Carlsbad at 9 that night.  They spent all day at the Caverns and had a picnic lunch down there.  They were originally supposed to go home through Roswell and see the infamous Hangar 18, but the family voted to head toward the Guadalupe Mountains Nat'l Park to hike and rock-hop.  They didn't head back home until 1:30pm and arrived back at 1 in the morning Friday!   G was a tired boy for the rest of Spring Break, but very happy he got to go.  Pics to come, hopefully.

People who know how control-freaky I can be about my kids were amazed that we let G go on this trip.  It was not easy for me.  But we have gotten to know Charlotte's parents and family pretty well the last couple of years and we both think they are the best parents, very devout and responsible.  The kids are all honor roll students; the younger girls are altar servers and the two older ones are lectors and Eucharistic Ministers at Mass, Charlotte's dad and brother are both Eagle Scouts.  I don't think I would have let him go with anyone else, and I didn't really worry that much about him.  But I sure was happy to hug him at 1 in the morning when he got back!!!

I'm proud of G for finding a good group of friends this year.  A mixture of boys and girls (but mostly girls), they all care about grades and being well-behaved at school, as opposed to the super competitive sports boys he was trying to be friends with before.  He has never seemed happier.



Family/Random:

My dad had surgery for kidney stones and other male issues I won't go into.  He did fine, is still recovering but almost back to normal.

My mom took me to see the FW Symphony play selections from Rogers and Hammerstein movie musicals while the movies played on a huge screen above them!   It was so great.  The music is very moving anyway, with the visual factor added in I welled up quite a few times.

We have been having a blast watching Master Chef Junior.  The boys love all the kids, and I think it will inspire G to help me in the kitchen more.  But J....he is so funny.  He says, "wow that looks really good" about something they're making.  Jav and I then hopefully ask if he would eat it and he always says, "Oh no way."  Shaking my frustrated head.  

The other show they loved was "A Series of Unfortunate Events" on Netflix, based on the Lemony Snicket books that no one in this family had ever read before the show.  Gabriel has almost read all of them now (they had them at the school library), and I'm interested in them too.

We made a huge decision in our TV-watching world.  A few years ago we were told that satellite wasn't an option for us any longer unless we put the dish on the FRONT of our house.  Not on the roof, sticking out from the front porch.  No.  So we went Uverse, but kept having problems with the signal popping in and out, and the cost significantly rising each year.  The signal problem turned out to be squirrels chewing on the line.  My brother had recently rid himself of all satellite/cable for TV, and has the Amazon Firestick with apps on 4 tvs now.  We decided to do the same thing.  We have Netflix and Amazon Prime, Playstation Vue for local TV and sports and our favorite cable channels, and we are thinking of adding Hulu.  We LOVE it!  We also had to add more bandwidth and stronger signal, so we switched to Charter for internet only.  Our bill has dropped over $100 a month!  The only complaint I have is that we still don't have PBS, but Playstation Vue people swear it will be available soon.


And at school/church, Gabriel trained to become an altar server in the Fall and is serving pretty regularly on Saturday nights now.  It's good and bad, we needed to attend more regularly, but sometimes we have family get togethers that we have to do on Saturday nights and if he's scheduled you have to find someone to swap nights with (kind of a pain).  But we are very proud of him for wanting to do it and have fully established ourselves as 5 pm Saturday Mass regulars.

During Catholic schools week in January, the school has students participating in all the weekend Masses.  Our boys had a Mass where G did 1st reading and Prayers of the Faithful, and J did the greeting and 2nd reading.  I was a nervous wreck ( more for Joel because he had some challenging words for a 1st grader), but they both did beautifully.  I would never, ever have been able to get up in front of a sanctuary full of people to do what they do.  The first grade class was scheduled to lead some important Masses this year.  The first was when Bishop Olsen officiated and spent all day at the school.  And the second was for Accreditation Week, when the team to evaluate our school visited the entire week.

T-ball - Successful or Not?

Gabriel played "Spring" t-ball, his first time to try baseball.  Why they called it spring when it started May 23 is beyond me.  It was stinkin' hot at those games.  We wondered how he would like it. Soccer wasn't too fun for him, which I partially blame on having lousy coaches.  The TCU kids were super nice, but they didn't know a thing about communicating with and motivating kids that young.  So we knew it might all depend on Gabriel's coach (or coaches) and hoped he would get a good one.

Here he is at his first actual game getting his first actual hit.  Pretty good camera work Daddy!  His coaches were wonderful.  Coach Rick and Coach Jaime both had sons on the team and were very good about teaching the kids why they were doing what they were doing.  They were patient when they needed to be, but also tough with the boys if it was called for.

Look at the variation of sizes on his team!  Evan (#10) looked like a 3rd or 4th grader.  Little Aidan (between #5 and #4) was the shortest team member, but also the scrappiest.  He kept trying to either run away from practice and games, or was starting scuffles with his team mates.  Aside:  There were two Aidans on our team, and at least one on every other team.  Popular name!  The boys were also very varied on their skill level.  Maybe because of their size, Evan and Johnny were great at fielding.  I'm wondering if this was supposed to be for Kindergardeners and their parents held them back a year.  Don't know how that works with the age rules at the Y.

Gabriel did really well at hitting with a tee.  But when they switched to coach pitch he couldn't seem to hit the ball.  When he was playing third he would mostly stand there and yawn the whole game.  I thought (hoped) at first that he was nervous and breathing more shallow, and the lack of oxygen was making him yawn.  But Jav just looked at me when I suggested this and said, "He's bored silly."  I will say that he wanted to practice throwing, catching and hitting MUCH more than he wanted to practice soccer.  But it was still usually around a promise of getting to do something else after 10-15 minutes of practicing.  Jav bought a tee and rubber home plate and bases for him to run around.  If nothing else it did help him understand what he was supposed to do a little more.  And he greatly improved his throwing and catching with practice.  But during games, when the ball was hit towards him, he just stood as if glued to the grass while his teammates scrambled around him trying to get the ball.  This is very frustrating to watch as a parent.  But I did pretty good most of the time and let the coaches reprimand him.  Most of the time.

This picture was taken during their last game, after he got a hit and ran to first.  The game before this one he got a hit and barely jogged to first and was out.  I was screaming at him to run faster.  The only time during the season I wish I had duct taped my mouth.  Coach Rick told him to be sure and run as fast as he could next time.  So when he got the hit before the pic was taken, he ran his little heart out and was looking over at me for approval when he made it on base.  This makes me wonder if all of his playing is for pleasing parents instead of pleasing himself.  Something I never have to wonder when I hear or see him playing the drums.  Sigh.

My sister-in-law Sandra took this awesome shot just after they got their trophies.  She and Jav's mom came to almost every game.   I liked that Coach Rick told each player how many hits, RBIs and outs each team member got before giving them their trophy.  I think the "let's give a trophy to every kid" doesn't really do anything to drive them to do better the next season.  Hearing some of the higher numbers his team mates had, Gabriel said on the way home, "I bet if I had gotten the most, we would all be really proud of me right now".  We told him that we were SO proud of him already, because he had gone to every practice and game, and had tried his best.  

We'll see if he wants to play when next "Spring" rolls around.  I hope so, but not too much.  

Imagination - let it soar!

For about the past three or four months, we have enjoyed an ongoing story, told by Gabriel, during our dinner.  For the first couple of months it was called "Haunted House" and basically dealt with us first going to a fast food restaurant, usually Taco Bell, and then ending up at a haunted house searching for bad vampires/ghosts/witches/skeletons.  Gabriel had been watching alot of Scooby Doo at the time, and had just watched Abbott and Costello Meets Frankenstein.  He just started it one night, and wanted us to join in with plot turns and surprises.


Then it morphed into the "Haunted Train" where we got on a train, and each night found a different booklet to let us know what spooky place we were visiting.  We went to a haunted beach, baseball game, museum, grocery store, restaurant, school, amusement park, forest, and airplane.  The airplane story lasted at least 2 weeks.  During all of this time the story participants were the four of us, Gabriel's classmates, and his two imaginary friends,  Brocklin and Orcornelius.  Oh, and their 100 friends.  


Then all of a sudden the story morphed again into all of us up and moving to a hotel so that we could be near Wacky World, the name of the aforementioned haunted amusement park.  It wasn't really about the haunted anymore, though.  It was about the rides!  We've never taken Gabriel to Six Flags, but I keep describing the different rides and he is getting more and more excited about going one day. Last week he came up with a really funny turn, when he decided to use his President's placemat in the game.  We pair up different presidents and they ride rides and fight over which one to ride next. They sometimes want to change partners to have one more, or less, adventurous.  I try my best to do accurate voices for the ones I have heard, but I am at a loss when he picks James Monroe or someone like that. 


There are nights when I would just prefer to sit and eat my dinner, quietly and with nothing taxing my brain to try to come up with a new part of the story.   But after watching this video below, I am inspired by Gabriel's imagination and want to nurture and encourage it.  Now I can't wait to see what he dreams up next.


(Note:  This is long, but SO worth your time.  Mom, get Dad to watch it too.)

Superbowl, Schmuperbowl

The commercials are the only reasons to watch the Superbowl, and even then they cut the good parts out. Here is the long version of the best one.

My sister-in-law had invited the family over to watch, but Jav suggested that I take the opportunity to take my mom and do some desperately needed clothes shopping. When Gabriel found out that I wasn't going to join them, this was our conversation at lunch:

G: "Mommy, I'm so sorry you're not going be with us to see the BIGGEST football game of the year!"

Me: "Oh, that's ok sweetie. I'm really ok with it."

G, after thinking about this for awhile: "Mommy, you really love baseball, don't you?"

Me, with huge smile on my face: "Yes I do, Gabriel. Yes I do."

Cute

This morning I was busily packing up the car to leave for work and school while the boys played together in the living room. When I came back in to collect them, Gabriel was sitting and just watching Joel run around like a crazy person. He turned to me with a big ole smile on his face and said, "Mommy, that's the best baby that ever came out of your tummy!"

I love that kid. I told him that they BOTH were.

My 5-year-old boy

Gabriel turned 5 in September. This is the only picture I have from his actual birthday day. We decided to wait until after our beach trip to have his party, so we tried to make this day special. He got one present and the CD I made for him (Gabriel's rockin' CD, of course) before we left for school. I hoped that one day I would introduce Gabriel to Green Day, Foo Fighters, Led Zeppelin and the like, but I never imagined it would be as early as five! They had his party at school. After school at his Tita and Tito's house, Tita had made him cupcakes and we sang Happy Birthday to him. We stopped at my mom and dad's on the way to soccer practice and they gave him a card and birthday hugs. When the coaches found out it was his birthday, the entire team sang Happy Birthday to him. We left soccer practice early to go eat dinner at Campo Verde, here the food is mediocre at best, but the two trains running constantly around the entire, festive restaurant are a huge draw. He had a great birthday!

We didn't have his party until mid-October, which was really weird. But we had beautiful weather for our Scooby-Doo Bouncy House Extravaganza!

I took advantage of our Halloween decorations already being up and just added a few Scooby Doo things to fit the theme.

The monstrosity in our backyard. I was just praying that they didn't say we had too many trees and needed to put it in the front yard.

Cade and Gabriel bouncing away.

One of Gabriel's new friends, Aidan, who attends our church, was determined to get in on this wagon ride!

Aha, I see your plan, Mommy. Tools to help you cook disguised as a birthday present. I'm on to you!

A happy boy, not just because of the Shaun the Sheep DVD. The party was really fun. I even had time to mingle and play some ping pong, and really enjoyed myself. I can't believe it's been five years since this sweet boy was born. He is so sweet and thoughtful, very caring of his little brother, smart as a whip (starting to read Level 1 readers pretty well), and has a terrific sense of humor. I love him so, so much.

Soccer!

Gabriel surrounded by his teammates, Nicholas, Ethan, Josiah and Jonathan, and in front of his coaches, Coach Ryan and Coach Allie.
Game face: Go sharks!

Gabriel started soccer a month ago. Jav and I have always looked forward to the day we could stand on the sidelines and cheer on that boy at something. Gabriel had a skills class in soccer back in April and May, so we thought it would be a good sport to start out with. We signed up at the Y, which I love because of the diversity of kids and parents. His coaches are two cute TCU sophomores, Ryan and Allie. At first I thought they would never figure out how to coach this age, but they seem to be figuring it out pretty well now. The first few games were a challenge to keep them headed towards the right goal. Luckily the refs have decided to let them play for the same goal the entire game.

The challenge for me has been to keep my mouth shut. It's been waaaaaayyyyy tougher than I expected to see other kids running faster and trying harder than my kid. It's really hard to not nag at him to try harder or fun faster. Sometimes we just can't help it, but when we slip up like that he seems to slump even more into himself and completely stop paying attention to the game. I have to remind myself that he just turned five, this is his first sports experience, and I don't want him to get a bad taste for it this early. I told him I wanted him to have three goals every time he plays:1) listen to the coaches and play for your team. 2) Do your best, and c) Have fun! We were having a little trouble with that second requirement. Then we missed the week we went to the beach, and were concerned that he would be even more disinterested when we got back. We took the soccer ball on the trip, but the only taker Jav had for kicking it on the beach was Joel, who played with Daddy for about 20 minutes.

Something that DOES seem to help Gabriel is getting him outside in our backyard to practice. Not just kicking the soccer ball or stopping it, but running. We play a strange version of Duck, Duck, Goose and chase each other all over the yard. I think it's really building up his stamina. Tuesday he had a much better practice, and was laughing and having fun the whole hour.

We were really thrown for a loop today, however, when Coach Ryan asked if Gabriel would play for the opposing team. They only had three players show up and if he didn't switch teams the game would be forfeited, which of course no one wanted. Coach Ryan seemed to think that Gabriel could handle it over all the other players, which surprised me because of Gabriel's previous lack of focus. But I talked to him and explained that we really needed him to help out the other team, changed his jersey from red to blue, and sent him over to the other team's coaches. They were so sweet and applauded him. I ended up being the confused one, because I wanted to cheer him on, but also wanted to cheer for the Sharks. The other parents said they would forgive me this one day.

Well, I've got to hand it to Gabriel. I'm not sure if he was playing well to impress his Tia, Tita and Tito, who were sweet enough to come to the game, or if he just all of a sudden "got" it. He was totally into the game for the first three quarters. He not only was running after the ball or the group of kids around the ball, he finally was not afraid to try and take it away from another kid. Of course, the first goal he scored EVER was for the wrong team. But then he had a great assist, and once took the ball all the way down the field only to miss getting a goal by inches. The fourth quarter he was just plain tired (they all were, with no available subs to come in for them). He stopped watching the ball and was just running wherever the wind took him, and talked with his original teammates. But that didn't matter. We were SO proud of him.

Spying on the neighbors

A few weeks ago I was out doing my nightly rounds of watering and birdbath filling, when I heard a strange cry of some kind. It sounded like a bird, but one that should have been making noise during the day. It was coming from somewhere beyond the farthest back corner of our yard. I went back there and stood for awhile, waiting to hear it again and try to figure out what it was. Sometime over the next couple of days, I heard what I thought was a duck quacking in the same spot. Hmmmm. Then I realized it wasn't a duck, but a chicken. Jav heard it too a couple of times. We assumed it belonged to a family living next to our neighbors directly behind us.

Then Sunday I noticed those same neighbors, directly behind us (we don't know them very well), shooing something out of the back door into the yard. I thought they might have gotten a dog. Later in the day, Jav came to report that they had returned home from somewhere, got out of their truck and walked over to the side of the yard and greeted something. So he also wondered if they had a dog. Or something. I started thinking about the fact that they've been doing alot of yard work over in that corner recently. I mulled it over in my head so much that my curiosity finally got the best of me. After dinner I went out back to check the water dishes and nonchalantly made my way over to the corner and peered through our fence slats to see what I could see.

I reported back to Jav and Gabriel that I saw a shovel and a big pile of dirt, some type of box or feeder with holes in it up off the ground, and a pile of hay. And I faintly smelled a barnyard smell. Now my "Hmmmmmm" turned into a "Aha!" Something is definitely going on back there. Gabriel seemed really interested now, so I asked him if he wanted to walk back with me one more time to see if I could see or hear anything else. I never really stopped to think about the fact that I was teaching him it was ok to spy on the neighbors. At this point I just wanted, beyond all reason, to find out what was going on back there. We had warned Gabriel that he couldn't make ANY noise until we got back inside. We meandered around the yard a bit to make it look good, then headed back to the fence. I found a knothole just right for Gabriel and told him to try to see something. He was peering and all of a sudden got a weird little look on his face. I said, "Do you see anything?" He said in the most excited whisper I have ever heard, "YES". I said, "Really? What do you see?" He said, soooooooo excitedly, "A chicken!" I almost shoved him out of the way to see, and caught a glimpse of two beautiful heirloom type hens, one white and one spotted black, pecking the ground.

We ran back, laughing quietly, to the house to report to Jav. I can't believe these neighbors would try such a thing, they didn't seem like the type AT ALL to me. I have to say I am impressed and a little jealous. I would love to do it, but I have no idea how to even get started, to say nothing of the fact that I think there's a city ordinance against it. We are now wondering if they have to have a rooster back there too. Jav's going to try to talk to them if he catches them outside, just to let them know we are cool with it and ask if maybe the boys can come to visit and see them up close one day. Maybe we can even score some fresh eggs some day! But I relay the story because it will be one I will always remember, how gleeful Gabriel and I were to have discovered the mystery, and how much fun we had doing it.

The problematic drum teacher

NOTE: I am posting this because my husband thought I was a bit hard on Mr. W. So I agreed to drop the picture and the first name in case any of the five people who read this blog or a random person flipping through blogs might happen to know Mr. W. I wouldn't want to be sued for slander or anything.

Mr. W., Gabriel's drum teacher for the past two and a half months, might be prototypical of what you would find a any given music/instrument store around the country. Burned out rocker who never made it big in ANY of the countless bands he has graced his presence with. Slightly chubby, mass of frizzed out hair sticking out from under his baseball cap, and dresses like he never quite matured past the age of fifteen. Mr. W., master of mediocrity with dozens of instruments, but claims his specialty is drums and especially guitar.

All of this I expected. I also expected, and was told, about the problems in teaching someone so young. The short attention span, the fact that some days will be good and some bad. That Gabriel won't retain much from the lesson and it's up to me to get him to practice the tiny pieces of infinite wisdom that Mr. W. has tried to relay in our 30 minutes.

So that is one problem, that the infinite wisdom doesn't seem all that great. He has Gabriel do alot of counting, and moving drumsticks from one drum to another. I'm sure all of that improves coordination. At first he had a music book that he was trying to get Gabriel to follow, but Gabriel didn't get it and now the book is gone. I can tell that Mr. W. is making this up as he goes along. He takes every opportunity to let me know how cool it is that we still have Gabriel in classes, because every other time he started teaching someone this young the parents yanked them back out after a month. He thinks Gabriel is progressing, albeit slowly.

My other problems with Mr. W. stem from his manic depressive behavior and totally inappropriate comments that he throws out here and there. He likes to brag about all of his years of martial arts, and how he sometimes used those skills when raising his stepsons ("I always ask them if they wondered how I could hit them in the face without it hurting - I was trying to teach them something, not hurt them.") He asked me last Monday if we had watched the Summer Slam the night before. And I said, "Isn't that a wrestling match? No, we don't really watch wrestling in our house." I think he only asked me so that he could tell me how important wrestling is in his house. And maybe argue with me about why people hate or don't understand wrestling. The worse thing that happened was when we were going through the week before we lost Molly, and I stupidly told Mr. W. that we were having a rough day at home because our dog was sick. He said, "Growing up in the country we had to learn how to shoot dogs at a young age." And started to tell me some stories on that subject. Luckily Gabriel was already piddling around on the drums so I don't think he heard anything. But the most awful part was that I didn't react to this, the awfulness of it and the total inappropriateness of it, until I was back home telling Jav about it.

I have vowed never to return to Mr. W. at least 4 times.

But the thing is, Gabriel loves his lessons. Mr. W. is a big kid. He makes Gabriel laugh all through the class. He repeats the same corny jokes every week. And Gabriel loves him. And after the music book disappeared, I have to give Mr. W. a little credit for figuring out exactly how to get Gabriel to focus during most of the lesson. Gabriel's reward if all goes well during the first 25 minutes of class is that he gets to jam with Mr. W. while he's playing his guitar for the last five minutes of class. I could try to find another place that gives lessons to a kid his age. I could try to find someonewho's had more experience with getting through to kids. But I wonder if Gabriel would have as much fun as he's having with Mr. W. He keeps wanting to go back for more.

How can anyone compete with a jam session at the end of each lesson?

Namesakes

I have never shared with anyone the story of how Jav and I came up with Gabriel's name. Many months before I became pregnant we were headed down for a long weekend at South Padre. The drive gets to be a little tedious pretty quick after you get through San Antonio. We decided to go through the alphabet, letter by letter, to find baby names we both liked. Which turned out to be difficult. By the time we got to "G" we only had agreed on two or three names. I was having trouble thinking of names that started with "G". Then I remembered we had just watched The Motorcycle Diaries, based on Che Guevara's motorcycle trip through South America. And I THOUGHT the lead actor's name was Gabriel. Jav said he liked the name too, and it moved to the top of our boy name list and stayed there. And the rest is history.

However, the actor's name is not Gabriel, but Gael. Still a very cool name. But I don't think we would've even considered it as a possibility. A little too different. I think I must have gotten confused due to the actor's full name, Gael Garcia Bernal, being so close to Gabriel Garcia Marquez. So Gabriel is named after a Mexican actor names Gael by way of a famous Columbian author named Gabriel. Oops.

Later on, once we were officially pregnant and thinking seriously about names, we also liked it because it translated to Spanish, and because it was biblical. It translates to "the strength of God". Gabriel was one of the archangels. Gabriel's middle name was Jav's paternal grandfather's name, Valentin. Which I think is beautiful. We really debated about it, worrying that he might be teased. But then decided we needed to give him a strong enough character to not pay any attention to such silliness. I haven't seen many pictures of Valentin, so don't know if Gabriel favors him or not. Sometimes Jav picks up on a personality trait or a way that Gabriel moves that he says reminds him of his grandfather. I wonder, though, if we look for these things a little harder BECAUSE he is named after him.

Joel was not even on our list of names at first. At some piont we added it, but I didn't pay much attention to it. I liked Zachary, and Jav liked Nicholas or Benjamin. We narrowed our list down to 10 names, and were going to decide and start letting family know by labor day weekend. Sometime over the summer, I woke up one day and realized I really liked Joel. I haven't known many Joels in my life,which made it more appealing. I mentioned it to Jav and he said he was still thinking. By the beginning of August we both loved it and never looked back. It was derived from Hebrew, just like Gabriel. It means "The Lord is willing", or "the will of God". It translates to Spanish. It is a strong name, and suits him perfectly.

Joel's middle name is Terrell, after my paternal grandfather's first name. I didn't get a much of a chance to get to know my grandfather very well. He died of a heart attack when I was eight years old. I called him Pawpaw. The things I remember come from the times my brother and I stayed with he and my grandmother when my parents went out on Saturday nights. He was quiet and gentle, with a warm smile, curly hair, glasses and a big round face. He had strong hands and would let me ride "horsey" on his legs while we watched Hee Haw, Porter Waggoner, and the Grand Ole Opry. He was the calm steadiness to my grandmother's frenetic, never ending energy, a pairing that sounds a little too familiar in this house now.

And he is the only person, on either side of our families, that Joel resembles.

Seems we may have hit the nails on the heads in choosing both names for both boys. Hopefully they will be happy with them too!

School's out for summer!

First day of school - still with his summer haircut!

And taken today with his wonderful teachers, Mrs. Jendel and Mrs. Draper.

He doesn't really look that different, but boy has this boy matured in the last school year. His teachers have really gotten a kick out of him honing his drum and singing skills for the last couple of weeks. They asked me one day when I picked him up if he listened to a band called the Foo Fighters? I thought they were a bit disapproving, but then the next week (after talking with Gabriel about what's appropriate to do and not do in class), Mrs. Jendel said she had told her son about Gabriel and her son thought it was SO cool that a four-year-old like the Foos. It turns out her son is 18 and in a band himself, and really wants to meet Gabriel!

I know he will miss his friends over the next three months, but will probably still have alot of them return with him for their Pre-K next year. In the meantime, I'm planning a bunch of fun stuff for us to do. I love summer break!!!!

Lost innocence

I love this picture of Cade reading to Gabriel.

Gabriel is growing up so fast. I'm not sure when it happened that he is almost not a toddler anymore. I needed to buy him some bigger undies and didn't realize that toddler sizes stop at 4T. I wandered over to the big boy clothes and found some, and had to stop myself from tearing up a little. I am so pathetic. I waited such a long time to have these boys, and wasn't sure at times if I would get to have any kids. So every day of them being small and being here with me has been a gift.

But having an almost non-toddler brings on some new challenges. Gabriel just recently started noticing what other kids are wearing and let me know that he wants a matching backpack and lunchbox set just like his classmate Joseph has. In a way, this is good because it's easy to understand what he really wants. But I'm sure it could lead to conversations that I'm sure I had with my mother, "But HE has one, so how come you won't let me get one?" Sigh. Payback is heck.

On a more serious note, we know we need to start the conversation about stranger danger and keeping private parts private and all of that. I have occasionally tried but it hasn't gone well. I HATE being the one who has to destroy Gabriel's total innocence and utmost faith in the good of mankind. Because he has that right now. He waves to people at the grocery store and tells the guy at the drive-thru window that he has a baby brother named Joel. He tried to tell our waiter at Campo Verde tonight that the fire trucks were out at the fire station when we drove by. He has no reason to believe that there are people in the world who might try to hurt him. I never saw this coming, never realized how tough it would be. I've been stalling on figuring out how to talk to him. But I know times being what they are we must find a way to have the discussion for his own safety.

In the meantime, we have ourselves a little drummer boy. He has been practicing his drums at least four times a day, playing for 15 - 20 minutes each time. His stamina is improving with each day. So, sometimes we think we should find someone to give him lessons, as long as they are used to teaching kids that young and won't teach the fun out of it. And sometimes we think he's still too young for that much direction and seems to be having so much fun that we really shouldn't interfere. We're leaning towards trying it and if he likes it, we'll keep it up at least through the summer. If he doesn't, we'll quit and maybe try again in a year or so.

New shoes

We went to do some formal shoe shopping for the boys last night. All I have done up until now is use hand-me-downs, birthday and Christmas gifts, and an occasional purchase from a random shoe store for the boys' shoes. I knew that Joel has needed some that fit him better for about two months. But just didn't want to take the time to get to Stride Rite, the holy grail of shoe stores for kids, because it was kind of a long drive to The Parks mall in Arlington. And also because I knew it was gonna be expensive. Then about two weeks ago we noticed Joel had these weird blister looking things on almost all of his toes - yuck. It turns out he can't wear Crocs right now because he still turns his little toes in so much while walking, and all that rubbing causes the skin to flake. Double yuck. And since he only had those and his tiny tennis shoes, he was kind of up a creek.

So we finally loaded them up and made a fun afternoon out of it. We decided to check Gabriel's size too, because I thought his tennis shoes were looking kind of small. (Not very scientific, but at least it entered my brain). It turns out both boys need wide widths. Gabriel was only one size too small. Joel was two. Ouch. Hopefully I haven't ruined his feet for the rest of his life. We walked out with new tennies and water shoes for both boys, but since they were having a good sale it didn't his us that hard in the pocketbook. Joel wouldn't stop looking at his feet walking around the mall afterwards. He probably couldn't figure out why his little toes weren't all smushed together, and marveled that he could actually move them around.

Up until now I think I must admit one big parenting FAIL when it comes to shoes, but I have seen the light! I will now be making the pilgrimage to Stride Rite once a year to check their sizes and make a yearly purchase. I believe in the power of freer, wiggly toes!

From Disappointment to Bursting with Parental Pride

The grandmothers anxiously awaiting a performance that never came.

Jav and sister Sandra, who really should win the Tia of the Year award, every year.

Gabriel looks tense already, doesn't he? I was concerned at this point. Look at Joel hamming it up with his fake smile face. How do you know how to do a fake smile face when you're not even two?

We attended Gabriel's school fundraising event Thursday night, along with both grandmothers and one Tia. You see, he was supposed to get on stage and sing. But he didn't. He had a mini freak-out and started saying he wanted to go home as soon as the first group started getting off the stage. I had my hands full of a very cranky and Mommy-centric Joel, so Jav carried him up to the stage and hoped to talk him into joining his classmates. But no, he just wouldn't do it. So what to do as a parent? You can't take him kicking and screaming and make him stand up there. I wish I had just tuned out Joel and taken Gabriel myself, but that probably wouldn't have worked either. I had forgotten that last year the same thing almost happened, but we got lucky when one of his teachers passed our table on the way up to the stage and whisked Gabriel up there with her before he had a chance to protest.

I don't want Gabriel to have fear dictate to him what does and doesn't do as he grows up. I was that way for the better part of my life and have some regrets about it. I realize that he's still very young to be thinking about this. I guess I'm wondering, at what age do we sort of nudge him to do something that he really doesn't want to do, when we know that he will have fun doing it. I had a talk with him the next morning, and told him that after all that practicing that he sort of let down his classmates, his teachers, and most of all himself by not making himself get on stage and sing. He missed out on having some fun, and sharing his wonderful voice with all of us. He just kept saying, "But it's okay Mommy."

Then, later that same day, we visited the school where my dad is principal, Jo Kelly. We had not been for several years and his two secretaries really wanted to see Gabriel and meet Joel. My mom came too, since dad is about to retire and she may not get another chance to visit him there. Jo Kelly is the only Fort Worth public school where severely mentally and physically challenged kids can attend. I didn't realize that my dad wanted to take us around to classrooms, so I didn't have time to prepare Gabriel for anything. The kids are almost all in wheelchairs, and range from barely moving to having severe spasms, and from remaining totally quiet to verbal and sometimes shouting. The first classroom was quite a shock to the little guy, but my dad saw his face and leaned down to tell him that most of the kids here are disabled, but they are still kids just like him.

Gabriel proceeded to amaze me. He brightened right up, seemed to accept everyone just the way they were, started waving "Hi" to most of the kids, and even went up to talk to a few of the higher functioning kids when prompted by a teacher. He was downright charming with the teachers. I have never been so proud of him as I was walking through that school. And I told him so when we got back to the car. I really hope that he remembers the visit, and can continue to be accepting of people, especially kids, who are different.

Friend

Gabriel has a new friend. He is imaginary. He doesn't have a name; Gabriel just calls him "my kid". He has elaborate conversations with his kid. He provides a voice for him. He apparently sleeps under Gabriel's bed. They like to read books together.

Oh, and did I mention, the kid is twenty?

Hope he doesn't get Gabriel into any trouble!

OK, so when I originally posted this, I forgot to include the funniest part. When I tried to play along with this, and offered to kiss "his kid" goodnight too, Gabriel got really quiet and then said, "Mommy, I'm just pretending!" with a very distinct "duh" tone to his voice.

Little things

These are Gabriel's bathroom buddies. The first pretending he ever did was with them in the tub. Their names are Peaky (we thought he said Pinky, but were quickly corrected), Purple Wyme (once again, we thought he said Purple Wine, but couldn't figure out how he knew anything about that), Sally, Bluto and Greenie. Most nights recently they have a Buddy band with various rotating instruments. Joel took a shine to Peaky from the get-go and wouldn't let go of him during the whole bath at first.

We decided Joel needed his own Buddies, but of course he like the original ones better. Gabriel only plays with these, so we let him name them also. Allow me to introduce Bluey Blue, Orangey, Reddy Freddy and Greenie-Back to you.

This gentleman we just call Turtle. He has been a huge part of both of the boys' crib time. He plays 5 or 6 songs, with a very quiet and pretty sound, and also has a button for wave noises. The two little fish move and another button turns on a soothing bluish-green light. Joel uses him much more than Gabriel did, though, and has relied on him for a much longer period of time. Gabriel didn't seem to need him much after four or five months. Joel's loved him for about nine months, and is still going strong. He used to help him get to sleep, but doesn't need him for that anymore. We hear him in the middle of the night often, and especially in the morning once Joel is ready to get up.

I will be a very sad Mommy when it's time to take Turtle down for good.

I haven't done any comparison pictures lately, but this was too good to pass up. Look how different they are! Not just in looks, either, but in personality. Gabriel - careful and fearful/Joel - no cares or fear. Gabriel - quiet (at least, WAS quiet at that age)/Joel-world's loudest baby. Gabriel - loves books/Joel - throws them across the room. They both have two loves, however - music and trucks.

Mama bear

Gabriel and I went to a Young Chef's Academy class this morning. It was supposed to be a neighborhood Mom's group event, but the one other Mom and kid that were supposed to come didn't show up. The cost was $35.00 and Gabriel had been looking forward to it for weeks. I was a little apprehensive, just because he sometimes doesn't take to alot of structure well and he has a tendency to give up on stuff if he thinks it's too hard. But since he's going to school three days a week and the teachers haven't mentioned anything problems, I had a little hope that he might find it fun.

The place seemed really cool at first, with a brightly colored kitchen, and all the kids getting to wear aprons and sit on stools at a stainless steel counter. It became clear to me after the first 5 minutes or so, however, that neither The Chef nor his assistant (an EXTREMELY bored-looking high school girl) were very good with smaller kids. To make things worse, all the other kids in the class were regulars and had obviously been coming for awhile. The only exception was a small 3-year-old who had his older brother helping him out. I knew we would probably be in trouble when Bennett and his Mom still weren't there after 15 minutes. Gabriel kept looking at me through the glass (where the parents could stay and watch), and asking where Bennett was. Then he kept squiggling on his stool so much that it would end up too far away from the counter for him to reach anything, but no one noticed so I would run in and scoot him up. I told him that it didn't look like Bennett was coming, but that he was doing a great job - just keep listening to the chef. The problem was, the chef was kind of an idiot. I kept thinking how I could do so much better getting not just Gabriel, but all the kids engaged and excited about cooking.

They were making a quiche (another problem since Gabriel doesn't like eggs), and Gabriel tried to chop the onion and Swiss cheese with his really cool pizza cutter-type slicer. But most of it kept landing on the floor. Once again, no one noticed or tried to help him do it better until almost the whole onion was on the floor. Then it was his turn to crack the egg and try to put it in the bowl. The whole thing ended up on the counter. Although the chef tried to be nice and laugh it off, you could tell he was irritated. And of course, Gabriel could tell he was irritated and thought he had done something wrong.

All of a sudden I noticed he was rubbing his eyes, and for a second I thought the onion was bothering him. Then his bottom lip started to stick out like it has since he was a baby and about to cry. I went in and took him off to the side where no one could hear us and he managed to get out, "I want to go home" just before the tears started. I tried to tell him that they were almost done and he was going really well. I don't want him to be one of those kids that can't see anything through to the end if it's too hard (like I am). But he held his guns, and since I was inclined to agree with the shabby way they had run the class, I quietly took off his apron and hung it back on the peg. The Chef sort of smiled and mumbled, "Sorry," as we were walking out.

I wanted to punch him. And the bored girl who was supposed to be helping. They made my kid CRY. And have a terrible time at something he had looked forward to for weeks.

Once we got outside I gave him a big hug and we drove just up the street to Starbucks. We got Chai, warm milk and mini donuts, and it didn't take long before he looked like his happy little self again. My anger started to wane a bit, but not enough to complete forget. I sent an email tonight telling them how disappointed I was at the outcome. And a suggestion to hire people who know how to work with young kids if you are going to include them in your classes.

That Mama Bear instinct is a mighty powerful one.

All kinds of stuff

We have a possum that's eating birdseed spillage from the feeder late nights. We've never seen another possum with his coloring before. His fur is a dark gray, but it's kind of silvery in the lights of the backyard. Jav has taken to this little guy for some reason. Any time I mentioned anything about feeding one before now he would scowl and protest. But he doesn't say a word when I say maybe I should throw a handful of trail mix out there every evening. The problem is he doesn't grace us with his presence every night. So if I throw food out there and he doesn't come, Molly gets an unintentional snack. One night he was out there grazing for quite awhile, and I needed to let Molly out for the last time before bedtime. So I went out on the porch and started making noise, and he slowly sauntered to the back corner of the yard and crawled up on top of the fence. I came in to get Jav to try to scare him on over, because Molly will charge a fence and possibly could have knocked him off of there. But even though Jav was only about 3 feet away, the possum just sat and stared at him when he tried to shoo him away. Before last night we hadn't seen him for about 5 days and were starting to think something happened to him. But I noticed Zoe with her nose pressed against the French doors and there he was. I went to tell Jav, who was about to take a shower. He came almost running out of the bathroom to get to the window so he could see for himself. He's named him Pepe, even though I told him that was silly. Everyone knows that's a skunk name.

Joel is doing so many wonderful things right now, and has started playing while on his knees, which I think is so cute. He's also sitting still much more to play with things, and he has the best posture. I guess babies haven't been beaten down by life stress yet. I used to stand pretty straight, but for the last 3-4 years my posture has really slipped. Joel is inspiring me to try and stand straighter. He's still not walking yet, but I'm in no hurry. He loves to open and close drawers and cabinets and hide toys in them. I could watch him play all day. He still has crazy happy legs when something delights him, but now he's added a fake laugh for effect. It's hilarious.

And then there's Gabriel. We have a new "Elf on the Shelf", a gift from our neighbor. It is a little elf that supposed to sit high up in different rooms to watch what's happening all day, then flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa each night. According to the book, he will land in different places around the house when he comes back, and it's supposed to be a game to try and find him. At least that's how it's supposed to work. Our son does not like Dipsy (Gabriel got to name him.) We're not sure if it's because he's not supposed to touch him (according to the book, it could take away the elf's magic), or if it's because Gabriel's planning to be bad and doesn't want anyone to report that to Santa, or if he's genuinely afraid of the little guy. Even I have to admit that he looks a tiny bit creepy, kind of like pinocchio with a red suit on. The last few days Gabriel seems to be accepting him a little more, but maybe he's just a little young for the concept.

We're watching Scrooged. I love Buster Poindexter as the ghost of Christmas past. "It's a bone!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !

Only a boy would think this way

I took both boys to the doctor yesterday with horrible hacking coughs. Their pediatrician always says that he's going to check their ears for bunny rabbits, which Gabriel loves. Yesterday the doctor said, "You know what we should look for instead of bunny rabbits this time of year, Gabriel? Turkeys. They are hiding from us because you know what happens to turkeys on Thanksgiving? We eat them!"

Gabriel kind of giggled, but then looked really thoughtful and I thought, "Oh boy. Now I'm going to have to explain to him about eating animals. What am I going to say?"

But it didn't come up all the way home.

Later, after I got Joel down for a nap, I was trying to figure out what to make for lunch since Gabriel has had little or no appetite lately. He had already turned down several suggestions, then asked if he could watch the rest of "Finding Nemo", a movie I've still not seen from start to finish, until it was time for lunch. I sat down with him to watch the last 45 minutes or so, and teared up a little at the end when Nemo swims back from school to hug his Dad.

At that moment, my son said to me, "Mommy, I want to eat that for lunch" while pointing at the television. I wrinkled my brow and said, "What?" He said, while still pointing, "That". I said, a little kiddingly, "You want to eat Nemo for lunch?" And he unflinchingly said, "Yes, but without the eyes and fins and tail."

So, instead of trying to explain where our food comes from and why we eat animals, I found myself (in a slightly horrified voice) telling him that I couldn't believe he would want to eat such a cute little guy as Nemo, and told him we were out of fish in the house at the moment, thank God.

My cultured son

Yesterday Gabriel was playing with his cars on the floor and humming Beethoven's 9th Symphony. I'm not making this up.

He knows it because of A) His little brother's Baby Einstein DVD and 2) the Beatles movie Help, because there's a huge tiger that's got Ringo trapped and the only way to calm him down is to sing that song ("He was raised on the classics.") That movie cracks me up.

Who says you can't learn culture from TV?