Give it away Give it away Give it away now

Last week, a very unpleasant smell was wafting from our garage, or so we thought. I was convinced that some small animal had made his or her way into one of the boxes in our garage and never made it back out. I told Jav that our garage was a rat-trap (possibly literally), and we really needed to get it cleaned out. It turned out that the smell was a dead possum that was in the monkey grass on the side of the house. We assume that the direction of the wind that day made it seem like the smell was coming from the garage. But the wheels are in motion in my head now, and I want to tackle that garage.

The problem is, I know we could make a little extra money if we had a garage sale. But I have never had a garage sale, and the thought of having to clean up all of that junk, er, I mean stuff, set it out on card tables or whatever, and ruin a perfectly good weekend of my life makes me a little sick to my stomach, just like the smell did. I really want to start taking it in batches to Good Will. Or better yet, let someone come and pick it up. But then I know I'll feel guilty about not contributing in my small way to making some income for us.

And then there's the Ebay argument. Jav thought it would be great if I could try to sell some of the nicer items of junk, er, I mean stuff, on Ebay. I started with a really pretty Bombay Company jewelry box, which I originally paid around $40.00 for, and was in really good shape. I ended up selling it for my starting bid of $10.00, and then proceeded to spend $20.00 on packaging supplies to get it shipped to the buyer. Then I realized I didn't charge him enough shipping cost, and the 2.50 balance came out of our $10.00. This all made me so mad that I swore I'd never sell anything on Ebay again. Jav thinks this first time shouldn't count in the formation of my opinion, keeps pointing out how much I learned, and wants me to try something else before I completely give up on the idea. So I am going to try again, with an antique pewter twin hurricane lamp. That doesn't work, but is really pretty. And will cost an arm and a leg to ship because it's so fragile.

And if anything goes wrong, I will load up my car the next day with everything I can fit in it, and they will not be able to unload it fast enough at the Good Will drive through.

How are the Mighty Dogs fallen...

I am very, very sad today. I found out yesterday that Stanley, my 13-year-old Wonder Dog, has an aggressive type of cancer. We kept finding little lumps on his sides, and even though I was worried it was probably something serious, I was still hoping the vet would say that they were just cysts. Molly has been staying really close to him (see picture), which only proves dogs have alot more insight than people give them credit for.

This dog has been so wonderful for me, and for all of us in our family. He needed me to help him, and because of that he ended up helping me and pretty much changed my life. I was SO hoping that when it happened, he would just go to sleep one night and not wake up. Now I have to be concerned about whether or not he is in pain (it's so hard to tell with dogs, they can be very stoic), or if I'm trying to hold onto him when I need to let him go. This is really the only really bad thing about owning pets. They just don't live long enough, even though my sweet Wonder Dog has already beaten the odds. I just have to be really positive and love him like crazy until I think it's time. But it sure does hurt.

An apple a day?

Molly, the dog with the incredible iron stomach, decided that one of the fake apple Christmas ornaments (that I use as cat toys) would actually taste pretty good. This was all that was left when I got it away from her. The carpet was a really pretty shade of magenta too. We will add this to the list of amazing things Molly has eaten.

Fun with Activity Mats 101

We have been given three hand-me-down activity mats, and the latest fun thing to do is line them all up like a long tunnel and let Gabriel creep around and go crazy.

Moments of joy

Do you ever have those moments where you feel so profoundly happy that everything in the world seems to make perfect sense for awhile? I seem to always get them early in the morning at sunrise, or at dusk, which makes me think I either have a real connection with the sun or the moon, but I don't know which. I had one tonight. It's been such a great day. Gabriel and Jav gave me a Bougainvillea and a giftcard to Calloway's for our front bed plants. Our neighbors Billie and George brought me a card and a geranium, proving once again that they are the best neighbors in the whole world. Jav went to get my favorite blueberry cake donuts for breakfast. I got to take a nap. We went to see my Mom and give her the garden bunny Gabriel and I picked out, and my Dad got to see Gabriel pulling up on everything and trying to stand. Jav went to get On The Border for dinner (fish tacos=smiling face). We ate outside with Gabriel in the perfect eating outside weather. It was after dinner that I got to have my best gift of the day. I was just standing doing dishes, looking out at our beautiful backyard as the sun went down. I was listening to a combination of Jav and Gabriel having their post-bath goings on and 90.1 At Night, going from Brave Combo to Ella Fitzgerald to an obscure Beatles and then to k.d. lang. The dogs and cats were laying about here and there. And it hit me how incredibly happy I am right now.

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful Moms I know, and especially to my own ever-patient, always-there-for me, hilariously funny and totally understanding Mom.

Storms

What is the deal with the weather this year? Maybe we just got complacent over the last couple of years since we had virtually no rain. Our bad weather siren has gone off 8 times so far this year. (Jav thinks whoever runs it has decided to sound it off even when it's not necessary-a CYA move of some sort). We have been in either Gabriel's closet or our internal hallway 7 of those times. The first time was just total panic that we didn't even know where to go in this house. But in the weeks that followed, I have got the storm drill down to an art.

First I get Gabriel to a contained area so I won't have to worry about him. Then I calmly start finding and picking up cats to put in their carriers. I can always catch Henry (poor guy is blind and can't run away all that well), and Bones, and sometimes Zoe. But I have never and will never catch Fred. He burrows under a bed or a couch so far and is extremely wily. He's really more like a ferret than a cat. So he's on his own if push ever really comes to shove. Then I corral the dogs in the hallway by shutting all doors to rooms off the hallway and putting down some boxes in the one open area where there is no door. Then I turn on the radio in Gabriel's room, hunker down and wait. This is a stressful time; not only because of wondering what's happening outside, but because the dogs are restless and panting, the cats are wailing and scratching their carriers, and Gabriel is usually starting to get squirmy. If nothing happens for awhile or the threat seems to go away, we move to our bedroom and watch David Finfrock. Gabriel's first memories are going to be of watching brightly colored storm-tracking radar with Mommy. If we're really lucky, Jav is home to help out with all of this hullabulloo too. But that's only happened twice, and I have accepted the fact that I'm probably on my own. And so far we are very thankful to only have received lighting, thunder, some wind and tons of rain.

I feel for all the people in our area that are having to deal with losses, big and small, from Mother Nature.

On a soapbox, and with a mission

I am passionate about food, cooking and healthy eating. My passion is slowly turning to anger, however, since we decided to be a single-income family.

I think the idea of Whole Foods Market, with organically grown, safe food throughout, is a great idea. I also love the idea of the new small neighborhood markets popping up around the country which stock locally produced organic items (see Amy Culbertson's article in yesterday's Star Telegram). But to shop at these places on a regular basis is completely out of our budget.

Even at Wal-Mart, where I grudgingly shop due to their low prices, I have a hard time staying in our budget. I have determined that it costs less to purchase frozen dinners or the processed boxed kit-type meals than it does to buy each item to make the meal from scratch. It's also cheaper to run by a fast-food restaurant than it is to try to cook. No wonder we have a problem with obesity, high cholesterol and heart disease in this country!

My mission is to start exploring why this is so, and to somehow involve myself in a change. Healthy eating should not be a luxury item for the wealthy, but should be available to everybody as a choice.

When the circus comes to town...

I will never take Gabriel. At least if the circus uses live animals. I have been a contributor to The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee for about 5 years now, and I think that the work they do is truly amazing. It is a huge parcel of land where retired and ailing show elephants can go to rest, play, and remember what it was like to live outside of captivity. Once the elephants make it there, they never have to perform for an audience again. They do allow volunteers, but only to work around the property or in the office - not to see the elephants. They have grown from having just a few Asian elephants to having a large Asian community, an African barn that's growing and a Quarantine barn for newcomers.

Show elephants are picked up in many different ways(straight from the wild, from private owners or from overcrowded zoos), and their lives are pretty terrible from then on. The young are usually separated from their mothers too early. They are made to stand for unbearable amounts of time, and rarely have chances to lay down to sleep, which is the position elephants are naturally inclined to. Because of this they develop severe problems in their feet and legs, and sometimes their entire bone structure. Sometimes they are beaten to rehearse and/or perform, and have multiple injuries along with psychological stress disorders. Also, their health is not looked after well, and they develop tuberculosis or other life threatening diseases. So to be able to finally get to a place where they are loved and cared for, allowed to roam around outside, splash around in mud puddles, and generally have a good time is a reward all of them have earned in their lifetimes.

The way I found about the Sanctuary was through a daughter of a good friend of our family. When Linda was young, she worked with a young elephant at Six Flags names Sissy (or maybe it was at Seven Seas - a precursor to Sea World that used to be located near Six Flags). Years later, Linda developed ovarian cancer, and was given only a short time to live. Somehow, she found out about the Elephant Sanctuary and discovered that Sissy was one of the retired elephants living there. She would watch the web cam day and night in her last months, and when she passed away, her request was for people to consider donating to the Sanctuary in lieu of sending flowers.

I now receive a quarterly newsletter, and love reading about what these dedicated people and volunteers are accomplishing. These majestic creatures do some wondrous things, whether it be playing, showing affection for each other and their caregivers, or gathering around one of their "sisters" when the end is near to sing her on her way. It's so hard to get through those articles when one of them dies, but worth it to learn how much elephants are actually like us.

I know it will be hard to explain all of this to Gabriel when the time comes and all of his friends are going to the circus, but I will let him pick an elephant to feed and turn him on to the web cam. And this post is to persuade anyone with kids to think about doing the same thing. If enough people catch on, maybe the day will come when no one wants to attend circuses using animals, and they are forced to stop the practice altogether.

Organizing Junk

I spent all morning reorganizing our garage full of stuff. It was driving me crazy. I found some stuff that should have never been put out there. I got two beds situated for Bones, our outdoor cat who considers the space to be HIS garage. I found one slightly hibernating lizard (he was a big sucker), and a mama Charlotte spider with her egg sac close at hand. I put some of the baby stuff up into the attic, along with some Christmas stuff that never made it back up. I threw a couple of things away, which I hate doing. But how do you recycle used pillows that are yellowish and dirty from sitting in a garage for over a year? Yuck!

When I was finished, I had a possible Ebay pile, a garage sale pile, a "what in the world are you thinking" pile for Jav and a keep pile. I guess if you just walked into our garage you would never know I had actually put any effort at all out there, but I know, and that's all that matters.

I'll get to the pictures of the remodeled bathroom eventually. We still aren't supposed to mess with the tub, which looks great.

Goodbye pink!

The only thing I didn't really like about this house when we moved in was the guest/kids' bathroom. It wasn't done for guests, or for kids in general. It was decorated for a little girl. A very feminine girly girl. Everything was pink. The wallpaper was pink and gray stripes. The floor was pink and white linoleum. The shower tile was pink and white. The toilet was pink, and the tub was a weird pinky-peach color. It was awful, to say the least. I wanted to gut it and start over. So when we found out we were going to have plumbing work done in the wall, in which the cabinets would have to be moved and the wall torn up, we decided to go ahead and take the plunge and remodel. (A little scary monetarily with one income right now).

So we now have new cabinets with built-in sinks, new floor tile, new shower tile, white walls, and a white toilet. And tomorrow the final step will be finished as our tub gets repainted white. We decided to go with green and white, since green is Jav's and my favorite color, it's gender neutral, and it goes well with the rest of the house. I'm posting the BEFORE pics today, and will get the AFTER pics tomorrow.

Fresh

I'm trying to maintain an herb garden for about the 3rd year in a row. I really want to pay enough attention to them this year to keep them from dying out. I have chocolate mint, basil, lemony thyme, rosemary and oregano. I'd still like to add sage and dill to make it complete for this year. And I love the addition of my St. Francis statue in the middle of my herb garden. It makes it seem like a real garden. I used the basil and the thyme last night to make Provencal Chicken and Stuffed Provencal Tomatoes. (The small white pot was the basil, and I pretty much stripped it clean.) My kitchen still smells like La Madeline this morning! There's nothing more satisfying than going outside and clipping off herbs that you are growing yourself and using them to cook. And we sat outside for dinner in the wonderful cool weather. Since we will not be traveling to France anytime soon, why not imagine using food and atmosphere?

April Fools!!

I'm not one to pull April Fool gags on people. It's hard for me to think of things that won't make people really upset before I break the news that I'm just kidding. But I got my husband today, and I am so very proud.

We recently had alot of plumbing work and remodeling done in our guest bathroom. I told him this morning that when I got out of our shower in the master bath, I went into that bathroom to get something and there was water all over our brand new floor as if something was leaking. I had even closed the bathroom door and put towels down in case the water seeped onto the hardwood floors. He had the "Oh Good God What's Next?" look on his face. As soon as he opened the door I whispered "April Fools". He couldn't get super mad at me because Gabriel was sleeping right next door (also part of my Master Plan). Now I have to be on my guard for the rest of the day. And probably next April 1st.

Now I remember why I never prank anybody.

Fighting the instinct and losing

Well, we found out the reason Gabriel cried so much the first night we tried to skip the nighttime feeding is because he was cutting his first two teeth. He had two brand new little bottom toothies the next day. I felt so bad about just letting him cry for so long. Then the next two nights he slept right through the night. But now he's waking up again sometime between 3 and 5. I decided that I'm not going to worry about it if he wakes up. As my Mom pointed out, if we wake up hungry in the middle of the night, we get up and get a snack. So that's all I'm doing - getting him a snack since he can't get up yet.

Two shows I'll give up sleep for

One, I'm ashamed to admit, is American Idol. I got tired of never knowing what people were talking about, so I've watched it from the auditions this season. And I can't wait to see it each week. If you're a fan, I'm rooting for Blake and Jordin. Blake's updated version of Time of the Season by The Zombies was pure genius last week.

The other show is The Riches on F/X on Monday nights. The main reason I love this show is because of Eddie Izzard (see previous post). He's brilliant in it, even though it's more dramatic than comedic. Minnie Driver is wonderful also. It's such a different premise (a family of grifters decide to steal the American Dream from some dead people), and so far the writing's holding up too. I think this role will finally bring Eddie into the mainstream. After all, now he'll be a cross-dressing comedian, movie AND TV actor. How much more mainstream can you get?

Fighting the instinct

It's three in the morning and I've been up for over an hour and a half listening to Gabriel cry. We're trying to break him of his middle-of-the-night feeding for the first night. Supposedly we have to go through this to get him to realize he'll have to eat more during the day. I've been in to comfort him a couple of times, scratch his back and tell him everything's ok, and once to change his diaper and give him something for teething pain. But I'm not supposed to cuddle or rock him, which goes against every maternal instinct I have.

Oddly enough, this is making me think of the book club selection I finished last night. It was The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon, told from the perspective of a boy with autism. He doesn't like to be touched, and instead of hugging, his parents hold up their hands with fingers spread to touch his fingertips, and this means that they love him and he loves them back in his own way. I can't imagine how tough it would be to fight the cuddle instinct all the time.

And now my stomach is growling, but I'll be damned if I'm going to eat anything when I know he's in there hungry. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Spring Fever has sprung

And we want to be outside all day long!

It's showtime folks!!

One of my favorite movies of all time is All That Jazz, which is based on the life of choreographer Bob Fosse, but in the movie his name is Joe Gideon. Yes, it's a dance movie, but it's also about human weakness, drive and creativity, and ultimately facing your own death. It's a bit haunting also, because the entire movie is focused around the probability and then reality of Gideon dying from a heart attack, and Fosse actually died from one some time later after this movie was made. Gideon is brilliantly portrayed by Roy Scheider, who chain-smoked, pill-popped and tail-chased his way through the part. There is a recurring scene of Gideon getting himself going every morning with his morning routine. Hot shower, morning cigarette, popping the upper-of-choice for the day, splashing cold water in his face, and finally looking at his reflection and murmuring, "It's showtime folks" while listening to the same piece of classical music-I think it's either Bach or Vivaldi.

Trying to deal with a baby at my age has caused me to feel as if a truck ran over me every morning. It's taking more and more effort to get myself out of bed in the morning. Then it dawned on me this morning that I already have to have the hot shower and the cold water splashed on my face to get me going. I also have found that lately I crave drinks with LOTS of caffeine during the day, and a glass of wine to unwind in the evenings. I have this fear that if we try to have another baby, the uppers aren't far behind.

Rocket Science

I was walking Stanley yesterday and noticed a torn up Nerf rocket in the gutter. This prompted a string of really strong memories from my 5th Grade science project in Mr. Anthony's class. It's amazing to me to think of all the memories our brains have stored up, because this whole thing came back to me clear as a bell. We were supposed to construct a rocket out of balsam wood and test it to see if it would actually fly. I thought about the entire class going to the covered open-air recess area to spray paint our rockets silver. I could almost smell the spray paint and hear the muted rattley sound of the cans when we shook them up, and even remembered the lightheaded feeling I had from the fumes. I could recall how cool they looked hanging there to dry with the sun reflecting off the silver. I also remembered the feeling of absolute dread when it came time to try mine out to see if it worked. I don't think mine ever went anywhere, but there were those teacher's pets whose rockets went waaaaaaayy high up in the air. Science show-offs. And for some reason, all of these thoughts led me to have a strong craving for ice cream sandwiches. Aaahh, the carefree days of elementary school.

Community

Jav and I attended our first ever Neighborhood Association meeting last night. This may not sound like a big thing, but it was for us. We are both really shy and get super nervous about situations like that where we have to walk into a roomfull of people we don't know. But it wasn't that bad. I really want to get more involved in our neighborhood, especially since I'm home right now. We met alot of really nice people and are trying to remember names between now and the next meeting. There are many older people in our neighborhood, but we were glad to see several couples that looked around our ages. It wasn't a real exciting meeting, with most of the talk involving our Code Compliance officer and ALOT of complaints about repeat offenders from residents. But it still felt really good to be sitting there among residents, old and new, with all of us just wanting to solve problems to preserve the beauty and uniqueness of this neighborhood.

I would also like to get more involved at our parish. We had Gabriel's baptism a couple of weeks ago, and it was such a feeling of comfort to think of the whole congregation standing behind our little guy, helping him grow up. We are starting to meet more and more people (it's amazing how holding a baby can break the ice), we love Father Richard and Deacon Tom, and just feel more and more at home each time we attend.

No picky eater here

Gabriel started solid foods about 3 weeks ago, and is loving having a new variety of tastes each day. We've only gotten through the cereals and the vegetables, and will start fruit tomorrow. How exciting! I love to watch his little face every time I give him something new. I know we'll probably go through some stages of not liking much of anything, but right now he seems to be open to just about anything. (I mean, how can anybody be thrilled to try the exciting new taste of mushed-up peas?) I am a firm believer in variety when it comes to food. I don't understand the concept of Meatloaf Mondays, Tuna Casserole Tuesdays, etc... The checkers at the grocery store always groan when they see my basket full of bags of produce, some of which is completely alien to them. I just hope Gabriel will be a lifetime tryer of new foods and tastes. It took me until I was into my late 20's before I realized how good asparagus, brussel sprouts, squash and tons of other vegetables and fruits could be. They just have to be good quality and fresh to begin with and not over- or undercooked. But right now, we'll just focus on getting through sweet potatoes and starting bananas tomorrow.