Soccer!

Gabriel surrounded by his teammates, Nicholas, Ethan, Josiah and Jonathan, and in front of his coaches, Coach Ryan and Coach Allie.
Game face: Go sharks!

Gabriel started soccer a month ago. Jav and I have always looked forward to the day we could stand on the sidelines and cheer on that boy at something. Gabriel had a skills class in soccer back in April and May, so we thought it would be a good sport to start out with. We signed up at the Y, which I love because of the diversity of kids and parents. His coaches are two cute TCU sophomores, Ryan and Allie. At first I thought they would never figure out how to coach this age, but they seem to be figuring it out pretty well now. The first few games were a challenge to keep them headed towards the right goal. Luckily the refs have decided to let them play for the same goal the entire game.

The challenge for me has been to keep my mouth shut. It's been waaaaaayyyyy tougher than I expected to see other kids running faster and trying harder than my kid. It's really hard to not nag at him to try harder or fun faster. Sometimes we just can't help it, but when we slip up like that he seems to slump even more into himself and completely stop paying attention to the game. I have to remind myself that he just turned five, this is his first sports experience, and I don't want him to get a bad taste for it this early. I told him I wanted him to have three goals every time he plays:1) listen to the coaches and play for your team. 2) Do your best, and c) Have fun! We were having a little trouble with that second requirement. Then we missed the week we went to the beach, and were concerned that he would be even more disinterested when we got back. We took the soccer ball on the trip, but the only taker Jav had for kicking it on the beach was Joel, who played with Daddy for about 20 minutes.

Something that DOES seem to help Gabriel is getting him outside in our backyard to practice. Not just kicking the soccer ball or stopping it, but running. We play a strange version of Duck, Duck, Goose and chase each other all over the yard. I think it's really building up his stamina. Tuesday he had a much better practice, and was laughing and having fun the whole hour.

We were really thrown for a loop today, however, when Coach Ryan asked if Gabriel would play for the opposing team. They only had three players show up and if he didn't switch teams the game would be forfeited, which of course no one wanted. Coach Ryan seemed to think that Gabriel could handle it over all the other players, which surprised me because of Gabriel's previous lack of focus. But I talked to him and explained that we really needed him to help out the other team, changed his jersey from red to blue, and sent him over to the other team's coaches. They were so sweet and applauded him. I ended up being the confused one, because I wanted to cheer him on, but also wanted to cheer for the Sharks. The other parents said they would forgive me this one day.

Well, I've got to hand it to Gabriel. I'm not sure if he was playing well to impress his Tia, Tita and Tito, who were sweet enough to come to the game, or if he just all of a sudden "got" it. He was totally into the game for the first three quarters. He not only was running after the ball or the group of kids around the ball, he finally was not afraid to try and take it away from another kid. Of course, the first goal he scored EVER was for the wrong team. But then he had a great assist, and once took the ball all the way down the field only to miss getting a goal by inches. The fourth quarter he was just plain tired (they all were, with no available subs to come in for them). He stopped watching the ball and was just running wherever the wind took him, and talked with his original teammates. But that didn't matter. We were SO proud of him.

Earthquake!

Jav and I were going about our normal post-kids' bedtime things. He was paying bills online and I was moving around laundry and addressing Gabriel birthday party invitations (more about the big birthday boy later). I was walking from the living room into the hallway and felt the weirdest sensation of the whole house moving. I also heard things rattling. It was only for about 2-3 seconds, but the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I got cold chills all over. I went into the bedroom and asked Jav, "What the heck was that?" His eyes were wide and he pointed to our TV armoire and said, "I don't know but that whole thing moved."

We decided it might have been a gas well explosion. Other things flew through my head, like airplane crash, huge tree branch fell on the house, or earthquake. Although that last option flew back out of my head pretty quickly. I also thought about the Space Shuttle mission that exploded over Texas We checked local stations to see if there was breaking news, but nothing. About 30 minutes later, I realized Bones was nowhere to be found. He's usually bugging us to go to the garage for the night by that time of night. He was under Jav's desk and wouldn't come out for another hour.

We found out this morning that there was an earthquake, 2.5 on the Richter scale, the epicenter of which was near Waxahachie. WOW! I knew it! And as cool as it was to experience it, we were sobered to think about what it would be like to experience a quake measuring 9 or higher, like Haiti and Chili did.

On a lighter note, when I told Gabriel about it, he asked if "those two moles were making the earthquake". We checked out a book from the library a while back called "Earthquack" about farm animals feeling the ground shake. At the end of the book, it turns out that there was no earthquake, only a couple of moles digging some tunnels. So I explained that no, it wasn't moles. It was big chunks of the earth way down deep banging into each other. This happens all of the time, and we usually don't feel it.

But we felt this one, my friend.

Spying on the neighbors

A few weeks ago I was out doing my nightly rounds of watering and birdbath filling, when I heard a strange cry of some kind. It sounded like a bird, but one that should have been making noise during the day. It was coming from somewhere beyond the farthest back corner of our yard. I went back there and stood for awhile, waiting to hear it again and try to figure out what it was. Sometime over the next couple of days, I heard what I thought was a duck quacking in the same spot. Hmmmm. Then I realized it wasn't a duck, but a chicken. Jav heard it too a couple of times. We assumed it belonged to a family living next to our neighbors directly behind us.

Then Sunday I noticed those same neighbors, directly behind us (we don't know them very well), shooing something out of the back door into the yard. I thought they might have gotten a dog. Later in the day, Jav came to report that they had returned home from somewhere, got out of their truck and walked over to the side of the yard and greeted something. So he also wondered if they had a dog. Or something. I started thinking about the fact that they've been doing alot of yard work over in that corner recently. I mulled it over in my head so much that my curiosity finally got the best of me. After dinner I went out back to check the water dishes and nonchalantly made my way over to the corner and peered through our fence slats to see what I could see.

I reported back to Jav and Gabriel that I saw a shovel and a big pile of dirt, some type of box or feeder with holes in it up off the ground, and a pile of hay. And I faintly smelled a barnyard smell. Now my "Hmmmmmm" turned into a "Aha!" Something is definitely going on back there. Gabriel seemed really interested now, so I asked him if he wanted to walk back with me one more time to see if I could see or hear anything else. I never really stopped to think about the fact that I was teaching him it was ok to spy on the neighbors. At this point I just wanted, beyond all reason, to find out what was going on back there. We had warned Gabriel that he couldn't make ANY noise until we got back inside. We meandered around the yard a bit to make it look good, then headed back to the fence. I found a knothole just right for Gabriel and told him to try to see something. He was peering and all of a sudden got a weird little look on his face. I said, "Do you see anything?" He said in the most excited whisper I have ever heard, "YES". I said, "Really? What do you see?" He said, soooooooo excitedly, "A chicken!" I almost shoved him out of the way to see, and caught a glimpse of two beautiful heirloom type hens, one white and one spotted black, pecking the ground.

We ran back, laughing quietly, to the house to report to Jav. I can't believe these neighbors would try such a thing, they didn't seem like the type AT ALL to me. I have to say I am impressed and a little jealous. I would love to do it, but I have no idea how to even get started, to say nothing of the fact that I think there's a city ordinance against it. We are now wondering if they have to have a rooster back there too. Jav's going to try to talk to them if he catches them outside, just to let them know we are cool with it and ask if maybe the boys can come to visit and see them up close one day. Maybe we can even score some fresh eggs some day! But I relay the story because it will be one I will always remember, how gleeful Gabriel and I were to have discovered the mystery, and how much fun we had doing it.

Busy Labor Day weekend

This may be one of my very favorite pictures, ever.

This Labor Day weekend was a really fun, although exhausting, one. We started our journey Saturday afternoon by stopping at the mall to buy a new washing machine. Ours kicked the bucket the weekend before and we've been taking loads to our parents' all week long. Then Bennett, one of our two friends from the neighborhood Moms group, had his 4th birthday party at The Little Gym. We had never been there, and it was a great place for kids to romp around and have a great time! Bennett has his back turned in this picture, and sitting right next to Gabriel is our other neighborhood friend, Harper. She spent two days with us a couple of weeks ago when her mom had to start back to college before her Mommy's Day Out started back. I'm going to invite both of them to Gabriel's party, whenever we decide when and where we're going to have it!

Our little climber especially seemed to like the fact that he could go anywhere and we wouldn't be fussing at him to stay on the ground! The kid has no fear, whereas his older brother always errs on the cautious side. On a side note, I just walked in from doing some things outside to find Joel DANCING with both feet in the cats' water bowl. Water sloshing everywhere and his big brother belly laughing so hard he had tears running down his face. Which will inspire a repeat performance, I'm sure. Sigh.

Sweet picture of Bennett, his mommy Allyssa, and little brother Lachlan. We really like them, along with Harper's family, and hope they decide to stay in the neighborhood ever after the kids start grade school. It's so sad that we get great families that are just starting out, then they start to realize that the public schools are out of the question. Then realize that private school is too expensive. So even though they love this neighborhood with all of its mixes of people and beautiful houses and trees, they move. Something we are also going to probably wrestle with one day.

4:30 is a bit of a weird time for a birthday party, because both boys filled up on snacks and cupcakes, but Mommy and Daddy were really hungry by the end of it. We decided to take advantage of the boys being tired and went to Mercado Juarez for dinner. Good decision! The whole family slept until almost 8 the next morning.

Our fun Sunday activity was to try out Legoland for the first time. Our friends at church, Sonya and Matthew, have Aidan, who is about to turn four, and Seth, who is three months younger than Joel. We have always wanted to do something with them outside of Mass, and we finally got it pulled together. We didn't realize they were bringing Seth so Jav and Joel stayed at home. But I'm glad because Legoland is a ZOO. I just don't know if a 21-month-old needs to be there. There are many older kids running around and parents not really watching them. It was a cool place for my almost 5-year-old, though. I caught him a couple of times just staring everywhere, not sure where to go next. A little overwhelming! But he and Aidan had a good time. I was very proud of Gabriel for taking the "older kid" role and sticking with Aidan, even when Aidan seemed to be a little afraid to do something. He was very sweet. I tried to get some good pictures of the lego miniatures, but they don't really do them justice.

Dirk Nowitzki must be proud to know he has a Lego statue.

The Ballpark in Arlington.

Cowboy Stadium. I like it much better smaller, rather than bigger. I wish Jerry Jones' ego could shrink to this size!

Monday was our first really cool day after this brutal, awful summer heat. I opened up all the windows. The boys went out after breakfast and didn't come inside until lunchtime. I washed all the outside windows, something I've been needing to do for about a year. I'm not sure if surviving through this heat/drought makes us stronger or takes years off of our lives. Maybe both? But it was so nice to finally be outside and not be just drenched with sweat within two minutes. As soon as the boys came inside Joel started laying on the floor with his head down. This should have been a sign, but I just thought he was tired. But then he couldn't sleep and I noticed his cheeks were flushed. He had a fever. Of course. We've been all summer with nothing, but get him around a passel of germy kids and whammo.

Gabriel started back to school the next day. I can't say it's been a great summer. The weather and our loss of Molly made it one that has been pretty tough. It had its fun moments, but for the most part I'm glad to see it go.

The bigger picture

My husband never really paid much attention to nature before he met me. I don't think he really noticed birds, and probably killed the insects that he did notice. He was particularly not fond of spiders. Which makes this little story all the more compelling.

The lightbulb in our laundry room burned out a few nights ago, and neither one of us has had the extra energy it takes to pull a kitchen chair over there to clean off the light fixture and put a new bulb in. Last night I finally said something to Jav, and reminded him about cleaning it out since there were alot of dead bugs inside the light. He replied that he had been putting it off because of the spider that has spun a web all around the light. He said that it was such a clever place for a web, since we get moths in from the garage at night all the time, and he didn't really have the heart to tear it down after all this time.

Excuse me, but who are you and what have you done with my husband?

I agreed to try to very gingerly change out the lightbulb the next day, which was today. Jav stood below me and watched, and while I was carefully trying not to scare the spider, Jav said, "Oliver. That's a good name". I replied, "Yes. Yes it is." I looked to see if this was for the kids' sake, but they were no where to be seen. So I said, "Oliver, I'm really sorry about your web, but there's a whole bunch of it left that hopefully you can piece back together when I'm done." I gave the fixture to Jav and he just stood there looking at it, and I said, "You don't really want to clean it off, do you?" He shook his head. "OK, I guess it will be ok to put it back just like this." Oliver was obviously a little freaked out and stood hunkered down to the side while I finished re-attaching the light.

I checked an hour ago, and he seems to have moved back to the web like all is back to normal. Which Jav was happy to hear.

I have such a strong belief that all life on this earth is life given from God and therefore should be valued. It's not that I won't kill something, but it has to be something harming me or the ones I love before I'll get to that point. And now I guess my husband has seen the light and feels that way too, which makes me so very happy. It probably makes Oliver really happy too!

The problematic drum teacher

NOTE: I am posting this because my husband thought I was a bit hard on Mr. W. So I agreed to drop the picture and the first name in case any of the five people who read this blog or a random person flipping through blogs might happen to know Mr. W. I wouldn't want to be sued for slander or anything.

Mr. W., Gabriel's drum teacher for the past two and a half months, might be prototypical of what you would find a any given music/instrument store around the country. Burned out rocker who never made it big in ANY of the countless bands he has graced his presence with. Slightly chubby, mass of frizzed out hair sticking out from under his baseball cap, and dresses like he never quite matured past the age of fifteen. Mr. W., master of mediocrity with dozens of instruments, but claims his specialty is drums and especially guitar.

All of this I expected. I also expected, and was told, about the problems in teaching someone so young. The short attention span, the fact that some days will be good and some bad. That Gabriel won't retain much from the lesson and it's up to me to get him to practice the tiny pieces of infinite wisdom that Mr. W. has tried to relay in our 30 minutes.

So that is one problem, that the infinite wisdom doesn't seem all that great. He has Gabriel do alot of counting, and moving drumsticks from one drum to another. I'm sure all of that improves coordination. At first he had a music book that he was trying to get Gabriel to follow, but Gabriel didn't get it and now the book is gone. I can tell that Mr. W. is making this up as he goes along. He takes every opportunity to let me know how cool it is that we still have Gabriel in classes, because every other time he started teaching someone this young the parents yanked them back out after a month. He thinks Gabriel is progressing, albeit slowly.

My other problems with Mr. W. stem from his manic depressive behavior and totally inappropriate comments that he throws out here and there. He likes to brag about all of his years of martial arts, and how he sometimes used those skills when raising his stepsons ("I always ask them if they wondered how I could hit them in the face without it hurting - I was trying to teach them something, not hurt them.") He asked me last Monday if we had watched the Summer Slam the night before. And I said, "Isn't that a wrestling match? No, we don't really watch wrestling in our house." I think he only asked me so that he could tell me how important wrestling is in his house. And maybe argue with me about why people hate or don't understand wrestling. The worse thing that happened was when we were going through the week before we lost Molly, and I stupidly told Mr. W. that we were having a rough day at home because our dog was sick. He said, "Growing up in the country we had to learn how to shoot dogs at a young age." And started to tell me some stories on that subject. Luckily Gabriel was already piddling around on the drums so I don't think he heard anything. But the most awful part was that I didn't react to this, the awfulness of it and the total inappropriateness of it, until I was back home telling Jav about it.

I have vowed never to return to Mr. W. at least 4 times.

But the thing is, Gabriel loves his lessons. Mr. W. is a big kid. He makes Gabriel laugh all through the class. He repeats the same corny jokes every week. And Gabriel loves him. And after the music book disappeared, I have to give Mr. W. a little credit for figuring out exactly how to get Gabriel to focus during most of the lesson. Gabriel's reward if all goes well during the first 25 minutes of class is that he gets to jam with Mr. W. while he's playing his guitar for the last five minutes of class. I could try to find another place that gives lessons to a kid his age. I could try to find someonewho's had more experience with getting through to kids. But I wonder if Gabriel would have as much fun as he's having with Mr. W. He keeps wanting to go back for more.

How can anyone compete with a jam session at the end of each lesson?

Namesakes

I have never shared with anyone the story of how Jav and I came up with Gabriel's name. Many months before I became pregnant we were headed down for a long weekend at South Padre. The drive gets to be a little tedious pretty quick after you get through San Antonio. We decided to go through the alphabet, letter by letter, to find baby names we both liked. Which turned out to be difficult. By the time we got to "G" we only had agreed on two or three names. I was having trouble thinking of names that started with "G". Then I remembered we had just watched The Motorcycle Diaries, based on Che Guevara's motorcycle trip through South America. And I THOUGHT the lead actor's name was Gabriel. Jav said he liked the name too, and it moved to the top of our boy name list and stayed there. And the rest is history.

However, the actor's name is not Gabriel, but Gael. Still a very cool name. But I don't think we would've even considered it as a possibility. A little too different. I think I must have gotten confused due to the actor's full name, Gael Garcia Bernal, being so close to Gabriel Garcia Marquez. So Gabriel is named after a Mexican actor names Gael by way of a famous Columbian author named Gabriel. Oops.

Later on, once we were officially pregnant and thinking seriously about names, we also liked it because it translated to Spanish, and because it was biblical. It translates to "the strength of God". Gabriel was one of the archangels. Gabriel's middle name was Jav's paternal grandfather's name, Valentin. Which I think is beautiful. We really debated about it, worrying that he might be teased. But then decided we needed to give him a strong enough character to not pay any attention to such silliness. I haven't seen many pictures of Valentin, so don't know if Gabriel favors him or not. Sometimes Jav picks up on a personality trait or a way that Gabriel moves that he says reminds him of his grandfather. I wonder, though, if we look for these things a little harder BECAUSE he is named after him.

Joel was not even on our list of names at first. At some piont we added it, but I didn't pay much attention to it. I liked Zachary, and Jav liked Nicholas or Benjamin. We narrowed our list down to 10 names, and were going to decide and start letting family know by labor day weekend. Sometime over the summer, I woke up one day and realized I really liked Joel. I haven't known many Joels in my life,which made it more appealing. I mentioned it to Jav and he said he was still thinking. By the beginning of August we both loved it and never looked back. It was derived from Hebrew, just like Gabriel. It means "The Lord is willing", or "the will of God". It translates to Spanish. It is a strong name, and suits him perfectly.

Joel's middle name is Terrell, after my paternal grandfather's first name. I didn't get a much of a chance to get to know my grandfather very well. He died of a heart attack when I was eight years old. I called him Pawpaw. The things I remember come from the times my brother and I stayed with he and my grandmother when my parents went out on Saturday nights. He was quiet and gentle, with a warm smile, curly hair, glasses and a big round face. He had strong hands and would let me ride "horsey" on his legs while we watched Hee Haw, Porter Waggoner, and the Grand Ole Opry. He was the calm steadiness to my grandmother's frenetic, never ending energy, a pairing that sounds a little too familiar in this house now.

And he is the only person, on either side of our families, that Joel resembles.

Seems we may have hit the nails on the heads in choosing both names for both boys. Hopefully they will be happy with them too!

Rain Baby returns!

OK, I know it's a coincidence. Probably.

But yesterday afternoon, while in a desperate state due to weathering day after day of drought conditions and 105+ degree weather, I decided to ask God something. Not for rain specifically, but to invoke the power of my Rain Baby again.

When I was pregnant with Joel, we had the wettest summer in my lifetime. Then after he came out, we had more snow that winter than we had ever had. But after that he lost his powers. I've thought about it a couple of times during this drought, but not seriously enough to actually do anything.

Joel and I had the house to ourselves yesterday afternoon, so I sat him on my lap. I started my chant, Rain Baby, Rain Baby, please come back.... I rubbed his head, his back, his tummy and feet. I hugged him and lifted him high above my head. I swung him back and forth, my chant growing louder and louder. He, of course, loved it and was laughing uncontrollably. But I was very serious.

Then, early this morning, Joel finally decided he'd had enough tossing and turning for one night and cried enough to get me out of bed. While brushing my teeth, I heard a sound outside and thought it was wind. But on my way down the hall to get Joel, I glanced outside the back windows and saw it. Beautiful rain, slow and steady, glistening in the lights. Hallelujah, praise to the heavens!!!

I picked up Joel and went to the back porch. We pulled out a chair and sat and breathed it in. We listened, we laughed, I came close to crying with blessings of thankfulness and humility. But I was mostly filled with wonder about the power of the Rain Baby.

I will remember this morning for the rest of my life.

Swimming!

Here's a clip of Gabriel's last swim lesson a week ago. The quality is terrible, the beginning is all over the place because I'm holding Joel in my lap. But my son is swimming, on his own, in the deep end of the pool. And if I hadn't cut it off, we could have seen him stop and take a breath on his back, then continue swimming all the way to the other side. I am so very proud of him!

The screamie meamie

That would be Joel, of course. The loudest 20-month old who can clear out a space around our table in a restaurant faster than you can say, "let's just sit at the bar!"

He has natural rhythm, maybe even more than Gabriel, and has some fierce dance moves. Gabriel loves to dance, but still dances like a toddler boy - no arms, stiff hips, mostly feet. I guess that's how alot of adult boys dance too - hee hee hee. Joel moves his arms very gracefully, stopping just shy of showing us his jazz hands. He loves to squat waaaaaaaayyyyyyy down and lift his arms up on the ending note of a song. Drama. You could even call it interpretive. I told Jav he just might end up on Broadway. Or as a mime. Boy, did that get me a look. Which got him a "we would be ok with that though, right?"

Joel has just started singing too. He sort of hums along with the melody, not really in key but perfectly in rhythm. He picks up the drum sticks as soon as his brother puts them down. I caught him today playing rhythms of threes, alternating from the drum to the cymbal. I'm not making this up.

I'll hear one of them playing one of our three keyboards (toy, electronic, and upright), and think to myself, "that's Gabriel" because the touch is very light, no banging, and very exploratory. It's usually Joel. When I think about money that will need to be spent in the future, I can't help but think we need to foot the bill for music lessons for both of these boys. They seem to drink, eat and breath music. Which makes me very proud!

His incessant babble continues, but is starting to sound more like real words. He's learned to say "NO" very emphatically to any question, whether he means it or not. Gabriel finds this very amusing and loves to keep asking him questions that he knows that Joel should be answering "yes" to. "Do you want ice cream for dessert, Joel?" "Nnnnnnnnoooooo" (He says it, of course, very dramatically.) If he's been playing for awhile and hasn't seen me, he starts yelling "Mama" over and over again, and wanders through the house until he finds me. Then he gives me a big hug and a belly kiss.

Here he is, just being Joel.

Nightmare come true

This summer is the summer I always hope and pray we won't have. Triple digit temps for day after day, very little rain in our area and nothing over most of the state. Ponds and streams have dried up and now lakes and rivers are feeling the stress. Water levels in Fort Worth are quickly approaching 75%, which means rationing will begin soon if things don't change. And our area is better off than most of the rest of the state where they haven't had significant rainfall since Halloween last year.

Ugh. Worrying about this kind of summer has given me panic attacks during past summers. Luckily no summer that I can remember recently ever panned out to be that bad. But this one is another story. It's weird, but once you're in the middle of it, survival instincts kick in and you just have to get through it. We must press on.

So that means I'm on a new drought exercise program. I go out around 9pm every night and change out all the water dishes. I've added several new ones. We have two big bird baths, several large bowls on the ground, and 8 small bowls scattered all over the yard. I check the bird feeders, because I'm feeding them much more than I would be if we weren't going through this extreme heat. Then I water flower beds and pots if they need it. Then I start working on whichever area of the yard seems to need attention that week. Last week I deep watered the east side of the house after discovering we had several photinia bushes dying and a crepe myrtle in very bad and wilted state. This week I deep watered our holly bushes out front, because the sun is now hitting them dead on for some of the day and they are turning yellow.

I can't help but notice the reduction in bird population, not just in parking lots of businesses we frequent, but even in the neighborhood. I see birdbaths just sitting there empty and I get so angry. Why have one if you are not going to use it, especially in this weather? I also can't help but think about strays trying to survive in this, and farm animals having to get through it day after day. I know that ranchers are having to sell livestock over the whole state. Of course I think about people suffering also, people who can't afford air conditioning in their houses or cars, mothers with infants sitting on unshaded bus stops in the middle of the day, crews working out the hot sun.

But I can't save them all. So I just concentrate on our yard, our little ecosystem. Which is doing pretty well. I've seen all of our regular birds, plus our majestic woodpecker a couple of times, and a beautiful red hawk at the backyard birdbath. The hummingbirds seem to be visiting the nectar every once in awhile. I see toads soaking, lizards making their way to the water dishes, and wasps taking a quick drink. The plants are hanging in there, but only because of my watering efforts. I've had to dig up my pot of impatiens and my cannas from the ground. The elephant ears and calladium may be next. So all that will be left is the lantana (which feed the very infrequent butterflies) and the turk's cap in the ground, and the sweet potato vine, salvia and rosemary in pots.

It's physically exhausting to run errands with both boys, or to have Gabriel's swim lesson at 5 pm at the hottest part of the day. But the mental strain is taking a toll as well. Is this how people in the northeast feel with day after day of freezing temps and snow on the ground for weeks at a time? There doesn't seem to be an end in sight and that leaves us all feeling hopeless.

But we must press on.

Teachers, good and bad

We haven't had a laptop or desktop working for two weeks because our modem (router?) went kaput. Time to get a little caught up on what we've been up to.

Joel and I have been attending a Mommy and Me swim class at the downtown YMCA. The first class was great, and reminded me of the Emler Swim School class that Gabriel and I took when he was the same age. Unfortunately, the instructor for that day was just subbing for our regular one. His name is Alex. He thinks he is cooler than cool and about 22 years old. Maybe. He spent the first class talking. His information was good and helpful, but I was a little irritated that he never got in the water and tried to meet his students face to face. Now we have two classes out of 6 left and he has yet to get in the water. He watches us Moms do our best to follow his sparse suggestions from the side of the pool. Give me a break. We are basically paying for the use of the pool every Saturday morning. I remember alot from that class at Emler, so I'm doing ok on my own. So well, in fact, that I think Joel is getting close to swimming on his own, but he still won't be anywhere near 10 seconds like Gabriel was at the end of his class. I guess you get what you pay for, but sadly Emler now only has a location in Southlake, and I'm not making that drive. Sheesh. At least Joel is having fun.

On the other side of the teacher spectrum, Gabriel had his first week of two weeks of swimming sessions with Mr. Bryan, who he took from last year. Mr. Bryan might just be the best teacher of anything I've ever seen. There are two kids in each 30 minute session, of comparable age and swimming level. This year Gabriel is with Kate, a 4-year-old spunky cutie. They are both making amazing strides every day. Gabriel is getting almost all the way across the short length of the pool on top of the water, swimming well underwater, jumping off the diving board (!) and starting to learn arm strokes. The jump in maturity level between last summer and this one is enormous. Last year our class was in the morning, this year we got bumped to 5pm since we didn't sign up quickly enough. Jav was worried that Mr. Bryan would be tired from teaching all day. But there is NO difference. This man is truly amazing. He is positive even about problems, he constantly gives them confidence, and he knows how to get them to have fun. There is no greater joy I have felt as a parent than watching Gabriel excel at something he had trouble with before, and have so much fun doing it. I've been on a high all week.

Saying goodbye

It's just so hard. After a gut-wrenching couple of days we had to say a sad goodbye to our sweet Molly. Our last three days with her were hard but also wonderful. We all got to spend tons of time petting her, and telling her how much we loved her. But we also had to watch her pain get gradually worse, until the last day she couldn't take more than a few steps without stopping to rest. Dogs are so loving and she wanted to be right in the middle of wherever we all were, so even though I was trying to keep her in one place resting, she would always get up to be wherever we were (I guess where I was is more accurate). We grilled burgers that Saturday night, and she hobbled out to the porch in 103 degree weather to be with Jav and wait for her samples that he always gave her. When she was not on her feet, she seemed perfectly fine. We would wonder if we were making the right decision, until she tried to get up again and we knew we were.

The vet was at church when I called him, but being the wonderful person that he is he agreed to meet us at the clinic. Molly LOVED going up there, and I had been distraught thinking that we might have to take her to a strange place with people she didn't know. But she was wagging her tail just like always and happy up the end. Jav and I, though, were despondent at the thought of losing her. It seemed like she went from being fine to not being fine so fast. I kept getting almost angry thinking that she probably would have had a good two years left if this had not happened. But it did happen. I guess most people who end up with cancer and their loved ones feel that way.

I've been through this before, and know that the first week is the hardest. I keep expecting to be in her favorite spots: under the dining room table, waiting just outside the kitchen while we eat, in the hallway while the boys played with their cars. She would come in every morning with me to get Joel up, and would be in Gabriel's room every night while we were putting him to bed. I can't stand to come home and realize that our big sloppy greeter isn't here anymore. I don't like to look in the backyard and remember seeing her lying in the sun, or grazing like a big cow. I want to reach down when I'm just waking up and pet that head. I want to feel that big tail all of a sudden gently whipping my leg while I'm watering outside. All of it just hurts.

I'm trying to take comfort in the fact that for the last five years I've been home, and not working. We got to spend SO much more time with her because of that. And this past weekend I spotted a quote that has helped me more than anything:

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. "

I just love that. But my goodness I miss her.

Hurting

Actually, my heart is not just hurting, it's breaking. Our sweet Molly has bone cancer in her front leg. We were thinking it was a bad sprain or her arthritis acting up. But the x-ray showed otherwise. Dr. Norris said the treatment is normally amputation. That's when the severity of what was going on hit me and the tears started flowing, even though I had both boys with me. Then he broke the news that even with amputation, prognosis is not good, only adding 6 - 9 months to her life. If we don't do the surgery, this type of cancer usually causes horrible pain that doesn't respond well to pain meds.

Oh, how I had hoped that this moment wouldn't come for another couple of years. But with a big dog, you have to think realistically. She is nine now. She's been in relatively good health, other than arthritis in her hips.

The vet gave me a card with a surgery center number to set up a consultation to help us make a decision. I made the appointment for yesterday, Monday, morning. I cancelled it last Friday. Even though I treasure every minute I get with her, I just can't put her through something that drastic for such a small amount of time. I hate that money had to be a factor, but of course it did. Honestly, though, I think even if we had the money I don't think I would have done it.

We had her on the milder pain med, and she seemed to be responding pretty well. I even walked her twice last week, which the vet had said was fine if she felt like it. But Sunday she started having a much harder time getting around. So yesterday we picked up the stronger pain medicine. It's morphine based and might make her a little dopey. It may be helping a tiny bit, but her limp is still pretty bad and she has a pretty hard time getting up. I HATE our hardwood floors right now. I wish we had carpet just to help her out a little.

I'm trying really hard to live in the moment. I've had more time this week to sit on the floor with her head in my lap and just love on her like crazy. But sometimes I get so sad I have to go off by myself and have a good sob. Gabriel knows I'm really upset. We have told him that Molly is sick and her leg is really hurting. I am spending alot of time checking to see where she is and making sure that they won't step on or stumble over her. I know she would never hurt the boys in a normal state of mind, but pain can cause some abnormal behavior.

I've been through this before with Stanley. It was agonizing, trying to decide when the time had come, and not wanting to do it too soon. This isn't any easier, although I think I learned that that dog will let me know when the time has come.

10 things...

I love about summer are:

-going to the farmer's market and the of bounty fruits and vegetables available.

-playing in the kiddie pool or the sprinkler with the boys, and going swimming in big pools.

-going for early morning walks in the quiet with Molly (although this is a little tough now - more later).

-working in the yard after the boys have gone to sleep - mostly watering, watering, watering.

-air conditioning.

-the toads that visit our yard, and finding them in all of the shallow water bowls I have sitting around the yard.

-adventure Thursdays with the boys.

-grilling, now that I finally got brave and made a successful and delicious meal all by myself!

-sweet tea.

-air conditioning!!!!!

I hate about summer are:

-mosquitos (biting the boys; they never bite me).

-sunscreen, and having to apply it to wiggly boys who are ready to swim.

-feeling pressure to keep my toenails painted and looking pretty all the time.

-working in the yard after the boys have gone to sleep. Yes, this is under both categories. It just depends on my mood.

-having to get the all the laundry done by 2 pm so the garage won't be even more of a hotbox when Bones goes out for the night.

-sweating, sweating, and more sweating, and feeling like I need a shower sometimes two or three times a day.

-loading the kids in a boiling hot car.

-windy days that don't bring rain.

-my hair. It just stays up.

-worrying about the city running out of water. I know, it's ridiculous, but it's what I do.

A thank you to my son

You had me nervous before you ever came out.

You see, I didn't prepare and learn about all the issues of nursing a child before I had your brother. I thought it would be easy and simple. After all, women had been feeding their babies this way since the beginning of time. But your brother came out hungry, and we could never make it all work. Which broke my heart a little. So when I found out about you, I thought to myself that I had a second chance. But would I be able to pull it off? Make that would WE be able to pull it off?

Well, we began our journey really well. You were so laid back about everything, and didn't seem to mind that your mother is a complete control freak. Something that goes against the nature of nursing. But you were patient with me. You were probably amused by my late night phone calls to my friend Sue, who I consider the equivalent of a sponsor to an AA member - only my drug was control. Every time I spoke with her, she had to patiently remind me that you were the one who should be running the show, not me.

We got into a real rhythm by about your fourth month, and I was finally able to get it. THIS is why women breast feed. It felt like an extension of the miracle of pregnancy and birth. Not only could I grow you inside of me, but I also had this ability to feed and nourish you, almost like the umbilical cord became magically attached again every time you nursed. I was nervous at first about nursing you away from home. But we learned together to do it. No need to cart around bottles, or formula, or anything. We just needed you, and me. And even though you were too big to ever feed out in public (no blanket could keep you covered up), as long as I could find a bathroom stall or empty room, we could be comfortable. Anytime you needed it, anywhere we happened to be, I could give you food.

Early on I read a book or watched TV while you ate at home, but sometime around your sixth month I decided to only pay attention to you. I sang songs to you, which you really seemed to like. I stroked your downy, fuzzy head which I know you loved, and still do. But the things you gave to me were so much bigger than anything I gave to you. I felt a connection to all the other women who came before me and did this. I felt in touch with the rhythms of the earth. I felt a relief from just letting go. But I mostly felt really, really peaceful. No matter how crazy our day had been going, or how frantic you seemed if you woke up at night, all it took was five minutes to get us both so relaxed we could go to sleep.

We had some rough spots here and there. You started getting your teeth in, and had to learn that a biting boy ends up a hungry boy. OUCH! But it only took two interruptions for you to figure that out. You are so big that we had to try a couple of different places where we could both be comfortable, ending up on an ottoman that we stuck in the middle of your room. That became such an important piece of furniture, and even though it is back in its place in the living room I will never sit on it without feeling the weight of you in my arms, remembering the sight of your sweet profile and the feel of your little hands on my face.

I find myself looking at you doing different things around the house, playing or watching TV, and I can feel my milk start to come in. I have an urge to grab you and let you eat, and start it all up again. Because even though you have been ready for this for weeks, I am still not ready, and I don't believe I would ever have been truly ready. Because when we were together, doing our thing, my addiction to control had finally given way to an addiction to peace. And because I know I will never do any of these miraculous things again. This ending brings an ending to the magic of having a baby.

But see, here's where you have come through for me again. Bedtime, which could have been hard for me to get through, has turned into a special, fun time each night. After I came up with the idea of singing one song with you before rocking and singing you to sleep, you decided to start playing a new game. You point to different squares on the wonderful quilt that Susan made for you, and want me to tell what it is, and sing a song about it. And hearing your funny babble, seeing your little thumb and index finger pressed together pointing, and knowing how happy you are has made it so easy for me to move on. Instead of the wistful sadness I was sure I would feel each night, I find myself looking forward to bedtime now just as much as before. And I realize, every night, watching you and holding you, that not only did we pull it off, but we did a fantastic job. We should both be so very, very proud.

One of the scariest nights of my life.

The pictures and stories from Joplin, MO are heart-wrenching and terrifying in the fact that those tornados could have occurred here in Texas just as easily. So last night when we had more bad weather predicted, I think we were all a little more on edge than usual.

I have lived here my entire life, and I guess I've learned enough about our crazy Texas weather to know that the weather outside early yesterday evening was menacing. It looked like a windy spring day. But when you walked outside there was just something weird about the way the wind was blowing and the color of the sky that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The boys and I had eaten dinner while listening to distant thunder, and I thought, "here we go again." But by the time we finished and headed outside, the sun was shining so I thought it had all missed us.

After we'd been outside about 15 minutes, it clouded over again, and that weird wind started up again. I looked up, and even though the sun was still shining all around us, I saw there was a wall cloud directly over us, just like the ones they talk when tracking tornados. The hair on the back of my neck stood up again, and I grabbed Joel and told Gabriel to get inside so we could check the radar. He did not pay any attention to me and ran away from me when I went to grab him. Sigh. I left him outside (we were in the backyard) and went to check the radar.

A tornado had just touched down east of Springtown, but it looked like the whole storm was north of us and was going to miss us. I texted my brother in Weatherford to make sure they were ok. He replied that all they got was a little rain. I relaxed a little and gave the boys their bath. Sometime during the bath I heard my phone ring with Jav's ring, but I had left it in the kitchen. I just assumed he was calling to say he was on his way home. All through the bath we would all of sudden hear the crazy wind pick up outside. Then the home phone started ringing. As soon as I got them dried off I saw my sister-in-law had called. I called her back and she said there were now three cells they were watching, the original one up north, one headed towards her in Mansfield, and one headed towards us. Her boyfriend lives in Euless and was in the closet with his two girls with sirens going off, because that big northern cell kept spinning and ending up more south than they were predicting. Slight panic returns.

Then Jav called and let me in on the news that he was still at work with golfball sized hail and sirens going off. My first reaction was thinking not very nice words. But then I came to my senses and was glad he was in a safe place instead of driving in all of this. I finished getting the boys ready for bed and checked the radar before getting Joel to bed, which takes about 20 minutes. Then I left Gabriel on our bed watching cartoons. While I was rocking Joel my phone started ringing. It's set on Pinball Machine for unknown numbers. And it kept ding ding ding dinging. Then again. The third call (from Jav at work) I answered and he said that rotational clouds had been spotted at an intersection about 5 minutes from us, according to one of the local newscasts. He assumed the sirens would be going off, but no, all you could hear was rain and that crazy wind.

I finished getting Joel down and went to check the weather. Right about the same time the satellite went out, the sirens started going off. Well, here we go again, super-sized. I was really trying not to totally lose it with panic for Gabriel's sake. I told him to get into the bathroom and stay there, and that some strange things were going to happen because there might be a tornado coming and we needed to stay safe. I grabbed Bones, stuffed him into a cat carrier and put him in the bathroom. I couldn't find Zoe, so didn't waste any more time looking for her. Right then the hail started. Big hail. I had just learned the day before that hail meant a tornado might follow. I never knew that before. This is about when my adrenaline kicked up so high I stop remembering things clearly. I went to get Gabriel's twin mattress and got it into the bathroom really quickly. I got Joel out of bed, dragged Molly into the bathroom (she did NOT want to go in there) and closed the door. Once we were sitting on the edge of the tub I tried to hear if the sirens were still going off over Gabriel's nonstop questions, Joel's whining and Bones's yeowling. They were. Crap! Crap! Crap!

I think I also stopped worrying about whether I was freaking Gabriel out or not, because I was freaking out. I called Jav and told him we were in the tub, sirens going off and big hail falling out of the sky. So now he's freaking out. I wondered if maybe the sirens were going off due to the hail or had a tornado been spotted? Jav said he would call his sister (I guess they had no satellite either), and call me back. I finally had a moment to focus on what Gabriel had been asking me. He had been asking over and over again if everything would be different outside if a tornado came? I wasn't sure what he meant and didn't really answer at first. He said, "Mommy, just like Dorothy, after her house goes through the tornado, when she opens the door and everything looks different? Would that happen to us?"

Why, oh why did I have to use the word "tornado?" Why, oh why, did MGM have to make a movie that makes it seem like a tornado would be a fun thing to go through? I told him I would have to explain more to him tomorrow. I texted my brother to tell him what was happening. Jav called back and said that there was no worry about tornado in our area, just hail. He was going to try to make it home. I told him to please be careful, because people were still posting on Facebook that they were having a third round of sirens and hail. The scary thing about this storm is that it seemed like one minute everything would be quiet, and the next minute a big storm would drop out of the sky.

I let the (by then) totally PO'd cat out of the carrier, the totally confused dog out of the bathroom, tried to calm down the totally wired Gabriel, and went to put the totally tired little Joel back to bed. He, of course, started screaming. I tried to comfort him a little, and turned on his turtle. Then I tuned him out. I attempted to move Gabriel's mattress back down the hallway and for the life of me couldn't figure out how I had moved it so easily in there. It took me forever to get it back on his bed! I read him one book and sang him one song. He thought the whole night was a really fun adventure and conked out pretty quickly. I called my Mom to check on she and Dad. The weather outside was still windy and rainy. I remembered to text my brother to let him know that we were out of the tub and it looked like we'd had ping pong ball-sized hail. There's still a bunch of debris (mostly tufts of leaves from the trees) all over the yard. Jav finally made it home and I was SOOOOOOOO happy he made it safe and that he was home. More texts and phone calls to let everyone he was home. What in the world did we do before all of this technology? Nothing much until the next morning, I guess, except pray that all of our loved ones were safe.

So today, there were still a few leftover concerns. What to tell Gabriel about tornados without scaring him half to death. Which city official to complain to about our shabby alarm system on the Eastside. And of course, a big shout out and thank you to God (or Mother Nature?, or, insert higher power of your choice) for keeping us safe, and leaving me with this story to retell.

Big Love, part two

I meant to post this with the last post. I've always loved her voice, and this cover is just beautiful. One of the things I also read about the ending of the show was a quote from Bill Paxton saying the show was never really about Bill, but about his wives. And isn't is only appropriate that this song was reworked by a woman?

End of a good (but sometimes crazy) show

We were WAY behind on DVR watching this past month, and finally watched the Big Love series finale last Sunday night.

Wow. I'm still trying to decide if I liked the way it ended or not. I had become a little tired of the show last season, and found it getting ridiculous when Bill Henrickson ran for the State Senate and won. I really think the show got a bit too big for its britches that season, and would have preferred if they had stayed focused on the everyday issues that a polygamist family must face. But they pulled the story line together in the end and had me watching with enthusiasm this last season. I find myself pretty sad that the show is over.

The writing was good when it wasn't outlandish, and the acting was superb. And in one of the post-finale comments on the HBO page, a life long LDS member praised the unbelievable research the creators did on the Mormon church and its sometime sketchy history. I know I learned things every week about their beliefs, and found myself some weeks understanding why families follow that faith for generations. But other weeks they just seemed pretty wacky. Either way, it was a pretty out-there concept for a show, and they made it work. Anything with this caliber actors combined with thought-provoking writing is very rare on television these days.

Now we need to find a new drama to get hooked on since Mad Men doesn't return until 2012!

The Comic Trifecta

Love them!!!!!!!!!

I was never a big fan of comics as a younger adult. I found certain people funny, like Seinfeld, but I couldn't imagine paying for an entire show and feeling it was worth my time and money. That was before Jav introduced me to a DVD of Eddie Izzard. I laughed so often and so hard through the whole thing, then found myself thinking about how smart and funny and true it all was weeks later. I couldn't wait to see his older stuff, and I knew my attitude was changing because I dreamed of possibly seeing him live. I never thought he'd get big enough to want to come to conservative, Bible Belt wearing Texas. The day I found out he was coming to the Majestic Theater a few years back was a happy one indeed (selling out, no less!) And the show passed all expectations I had going in.

Since then I have added two more comedians to my "I Will Pay To See You Live" list: Craig Ferguson and Ricky Gervais. My brother forwarded a You Tube video of Elmo interviewing Ricky Gervais to me, and I was a fan after that (although I found his hosting efforts of the last Golden Globes awards ceremony more mean-spirited than funny). Jav and I discovered Craig on his Late, Late Show a few years back and found him so funny that we decided to start watching him every night. We drifted away from him when Joel was born, but then about three weeks ago found ourselves looking at the Winstar (Shreveport casino) schedule to see if he had any shows scheduled over the summer. There were none, but then Jav, being the wonderful persistent husband that he is, found that he was going to be at Bass Hall the following Sunday night. He bought tickets and surprised me for our anniversary. Good, good husband!!!

He had an opening act, a guy we think is always on his show, who was vulgar and shocking and not very funny at all. There's something shocking and uncomfortable about hearing the F word over and over again in Bass Hall. And even though Craig cursed like a sailor here and there during the show, he was so incredibly smart and funny that I didn't really notice it. (Or maybe I just got used to hearing it in that place). I grinned, giggled and guffawed so much that my face hurt after the show was over.

The two men we've seen live are so different. Eddie Izzard thrives on making fun of history, organized religion, and other large topics of general human interest. Craig Ferguson's humor is more self-deprecating (and BOY does he have a store of material!) But both have that smart British sense of humor that I apparently love.

Now I have my eye on Ricky Gervais.

School's out for summer!

First day of school - still with his summer haircut!

And taken today with his wonderful teachers, Mrs. Jendel and Mrs. Draper.

He doesn't really look that different, but boy has this boy matured in the last school year. His teachers have really gotten a kick out of him honing his drum and singing skills for the last couple of weeks. They asked me one day when I picked him up if he listened to a band called the Foo Fighters? I thought they were a bit disapproving, but then the next week (after talking with Gabriel about what's appropriate to do and not do in class), Mrs. Jendel said she had told her son about Gabriel and her son thought it was SO cool that a four-year-old like the Foos. It turns out her son is 18 and in a band himself, and really wants to meet Gabriel!

I know he will miss his friends over the next three months, but will probably still have alot of them return with him for their Pre-K next year. In the meantime, I'm planning a bunch of fun stuff for us to do. I love summer break!!!!

Lost innocence

I love this picture of Cade reading to Gabriel.

Gabriel is growing up so fast. I'm not sure when it happened that he is almost not a toddler anymore. I needed to buy him some bigger undies and didn't realize that toddler sizes stop at 4T. I wandered over to the big boy clothes and found some, and had to stop myself from tearing up a little. I am so pathetic. I waited such a long time to have these boys, and wasn't sure at times if I would get to have any kids. So every day of them being small and being here with me has been a gift.

But having an almost non-toddler brings on some new challenges. Gabriel just recently started noticing what other kids are wearing and let me know that he wants a matching backpack and lunchbox set just like his classmate Joseph has. In a way, this is good because it's easy to understand what he really wants. But I'm sure it could lead to conversations that I'm sure I had with my mother, "But HE has one, so how come you won't let me get one?" Sigh. Payback is heck.

On a more serious note, we know we need to start the conversation about stranger danger and keeping private parts private and all of that. I have occasionally tried but it hasn't gone well. I HATE being the one who has to destroy Gabriel's total innocence and utmost faith in the good of mankind. Because he has that right now. He waves to people at the grocery store and tells the guy at the drive-thru window that he has a baby brother named Joel. He tried to tell our waiter at Campo Verde tonight that the fire trucks were out at the fire station when we drove by. He has no reason to believe that there are people in the world who might try to hurt him. I never saw this coming, never realized how tough it would be. I've been stalling on figuring out how to talk to him. But I know times being what they are we must find a way to have the discussion for his own safety.

In the meantime, we have ourselves a little drummer boy. He has been practicing his drums at least four times a day, playing for 15 - 20 minutes each time. His stamina is improving with each day. So, sometimes we think we should find someone to give him lessons, as long as they are used to teaching kids that young and won't teach the fun out of it. And sometimes we think he's still too young for that much direction and seems to be having so much fun that we really shouldn't interfere. We're leaning towards trying it and if he likes it, we'll keep it up at least through the summer. If he doesn't, we'll quit and maybe try again in a year or so.

Easter

We had an egg hunt and lunch the day before Easter. This was the first outside egg hunt we had in the last 3 or 4 years. Thank you Easter Bunny, it's so much funner outside!

Joel didn't really understand what was going on and just wanted to play.

Counting the loot. (Gabriel caught eating the loot on camera)

This boy is growing up way too fast.

Bubbles!

Sunday we went to Mass then changed for Randol Mill Park. Another egg hunt (another disinterested Joel), and a picnic.

Thank you Tita for the homemade cupcake!

My sweeties.

Weird weather

I didn't take this picture, but I wish I had. It's beautiful!

We should be used to having spring thunderstorms around here. But this year they seem a little wackier.

The first thing that's strange is that in most previous years (that I can remember, at least), the thunderstorms seemed to hit around 4 - 7 pm, right around rush hour traffic. This year they keep hitting in the middle of the night. The second thing that's strange is the temperatures keep fluctuating much more than I can remember in previous years. Here it was the beginning of May this past weekend, and the highs were in the fifties. It got down to 39 last night at our house. I seem to recall a few Mayfests that were chilly, but not this cold. And the thunder itself seems different to me. Instead of a mixture of some loud BOOMS and some rolling, the sound seems to mostly be long, long rolls that start really far off, then finally make their way here with a slight BOOM then roll on by somewhere farther away again.

Sunday night we got three different sets of this thunder, along with tons of lightning and finally a downpour each time. And don't forget that cold, whipping wind. It seemed to me like Mother Nature was being very moody and couldn't make up her mind which season it was.

Just. Plain. Weird.

New shoes

We went to do some formal shoe shopping for the boys last night. All I have done up until now is use hand-me-downs, birthday and Christmas gifts, and an occasional purchase from a random shoe store for the boys' shoes. I knew that Joel has needed some that fit him better for about two months. But just didn't want to take the time to get to Stride Rite, the holy grail of shoe stores for kids, because it was kind of a long drive to The Parks mall in Arlington. And also because I knew it was gonna be expensive. Then about two weeks ago we noticed Joel had these weird blister looking things on almost all of his toes - yuck. It turns out he can't wear Crocs right now because he still turns his little toes in so much while walking, and all that rubbing causes the skin to flake. Double yuck. And since he only had those and his tiny tennis shoes, he was kind of up a creek.

So we finally loaded them up and made a fun afternoon out of it. We decided to check Gabriel's size too, because I thought his tennis shoes were looking kind of small. (Not very scientific, but at least it entered my brain). It turns out both boys need wide widths. Gabriel was only one size too small. Joel was two. Ouch. Hopefully I haven't ruined his feet for the rest of his life. We walked out with new tennies and water shoes for both boys, but since they were having a good sale it didn't his us that hard in the pocketbook. Joel wouldn't stop looking at his feet walking around the mall afterwards. He probably couldn't figure out why his little toes weren't all smushed together, and marveled that he could actually move them around.

Up until now I think I must admit one big parenting FAIL when it comes to shoes, but I have seen the light! I will now be making the pilgrimage to Stride Rite once a year to check their sizes and make a yearly purchase. I believe in the power of freer, wiggly toes!