I know you have a medical degree, but..

I have a hard time disagreeing with doctors. They are supposed to be the experts. I have put my trust in them to help heal me or my children, and I expect them to do just that.

Gabriel is battling his third sinus infection so far this year. He is an unusual case because he doesn't seem to have allergies or a cold or anything, but then all of a sudden he will just wake up really sick. He runs low-grade fever, has a perpetual runny nose and usually wakes up complaining several times during the night that his mouth hurts, which we now think means his throat due to drainage. He almost stops eating and doesn't want to play like normal, and just really seems to feel lousy.

I would be able to accept perpetual colds, because that's part of having little kids. But he never just has a cold, he always has infections, and then has to take antibiotics to get rid of it. Last time the antibiotic tore up his stomach and we had to stop giving it to him early. I don't want him to end up developing a resistance against antibiotics in case he ever needs them for something more serious. But they seem to be the only thing to help make him well. So I would like to find out why this keeps happening, and what we should be doing to prevent it in the future, if there is such a remedy for a three-year-old with invisible allergies. I suggested to our pediatrician that maybe Gabriel might need to see a specialist. This took much courage from me.

And of course, it didn't go over very well. He said that a specialist probably wouldn't be able to do any more for him than he does, but if I really wanted to see one, he would refer me. So I guess I stepped on his doctor toes. And now I imagine that I'm on some "trouble-making parent" list at the reception desk.

In the meantime, we are on day 5 of whatever this is, and now Joel has it. So maybe it is just a cold this time. Nothing is more pathetic than a baby with a stuffed up nose and bad cough. You just want to breath for them. Joel had two horrible nights in which Gabriel was the only one to get any sleep, then out of the blue last night he slept for hours at a time with no sign of congestion or cough. I thought it had gone away, but it was back this morning. And Jav left for a two day work training trip this morning. We're back on Grandparent Mode!

Four months old

Can you guess who is who?

Joel is on the top. Until I dug this old pic out of Gabriel I was under the illusion Joel looked alot like Gabriel at his age. Boy was I wrong! The shape of their heads are different, their noses and eyes are different, Joel's skin tone is much darker than Gabriel's (we're not sure whether this is from Jav's side of the family or mine, with our American Indian heritage). The only things they have the same are their head size and their tempers!

Joel has apparently been using me as a human pacifier this week, waking up three or four times a night. I was convinced that he was hungry until today when he had his check up, when I realized after talking with the doctor that he's been playing me like a fiddle. So we have to start the tough love thing over the next couple of weeks. I'll go along with one nighttime feeding, but he needs to get himself back to sleep any other times. Or maybe I'll at least go in and scratch his back. Or pick him up to rock him.

He started the wonderful world of solid food today and I'm hoping his tummy will handle it okay. It was wonderful tonight during dinner to be able to include him in our eating instead of just holding him in my lap.

He also started laughing out loud this week, which is just priceless to hear. The first time he did it I was singing Old MacDonald and making a horse noise. Then yesterday during a desperate attempt to keep him happy a little longer while I was cooking dinner, I started using my tummy as a drum then bending down close to him. I did this over and over and he just loved it.

He weighs about 1-1/2 pounds less than Gabriel did at four months, and is an inch longer. I know I have more to type but I'm just too sleepy to continue. Come on cereal, don't let me down tonight!

Things forgotten

I've said before in this blog that there are many things I had forgotten about when Gabriel was a baby. One of the biggest was getting up at night with him and how hard it was to get him back to sleep. Now that I am going through it with Joel, it's all coming back to me.

I always had better luck getting Gabriel to go to sleep if I was standing and rocking him, instead of sitting in the rocking chair. Joel is the same way. I remember sometimes almost falling asleep while walking around the room with Gabriel, and thinking that seemed impossible! But I've already almost done it a couple of times with Joel too. I remember how hard it was to lay Gabriel back down in the crib without waking him up again because he was so big and heavy. I think Joel may be bigger than Gabriel at four months, so I'm having trouble there too. I think I'm getting close, then I almost drop him about a foot because the mattress is much further away than I realized. And then there were/are the floor boards. The dang creaky floorboards that I would try to memorize by location. Because let me tell you, if you step on a truly squeaky floor board, it will bring a soundly sleeping baby wide awake. And you will want to cry you are so mad at yourself. I've learned to never wear shoes, only socks or barefoot, because it's easier to avoid the creaks. I think they actually get used certain ones they hear night after night. But if you happen to find a new one - watch out!

Joel is having good nights and bad nights these days. We finally broke ourselves of swaddling him, which was just making him mad. He wants to MOVE! But he has a bad habit of rubbing his eyes when he wakes up a little, and next thing you know he's awake and crying. But most nights now he seems to have learned to get himself back to sleep. I never thought about feeding Gabriel when he would wake up like this several times during the night, but because Joel is a breast fed baby I have to feed him to get him back to sleep, or he gets REALLY mad. That kid has a temper. And I think he's cutting a tooth because he's Drooly McDroolster and trying to bite on everything he gets his hands on. I think his teething is what wakes him up on tough nights. Last night I finally gave up after trudging in there 3 times and brought him back to bed with me so I could get some sleep. I'm really trying to not do that unless I'm desperate. And I was this morning.

Jav was out of town this past week for three nights. I always face these trips with much trepidation, but it ends up being pretty fun. My strategy is to act like a grandparent instead of a parent while he's gone. We watch more TV than usual, eat food that is really bad for us, usually in our pajamas, and sometimes skip baths. It keeps Mommy sane until Daddy gets home.

Parenting woes

Seeing Yo Yo Ma the other night at Bass Hall has got me thinking about Gabriel and his love of music, and whether or not we should start taking him to lessons or just keep letting him do his own thing. Ma started playing the cello when he was four (after playing the violin for a year), and it was then that his parents discovered they had a child prodigy on their hands. Now, I'm not saying Gabriel is a prodigy, but he definitely has an ear for music. He can drum out the beat to songs and can pick out different instruments playing. Music is the thing that makes his face light up, it's the thing he turns to when we are frustrating him, or when his brother is screaming and he needs comforting.

I fear the "missed opportunity", where we blindly go on like we are now when taking another step might turn him into a real musician one day. But if we push, he could lose interest altogether, which would be a tragedy also. What to do, what to do? We ask him if he wants to take lessons, and he says yes, but he is still of the age where he says yes to everything we ask him. The music class he took last summer was more of a kinetic movement/learning type of class instead of really learning music and rhythm. And Gabriel didn't want to follow directions, and just sort of did what he wanted. Since Jav and I are both followers, not leaders, we were kind of proud of him for doing his own thing.

The only interest I ever had growing up was to be like everybody else and be popular. I took piano lessons but never practiced so was just so-so after nine years. I took dance but didn't really have my heart in it. I was afraid to do any kind of sports because I was sure I would let my team down. Nothing I did stirred any passions in me, as far as I can remember. Looking back, I think I would have been really good and track and field, but even if I had thought of it back then, I probably wouldn't have had the nerve to try. Young kids that realize what they want to do one day and start working for that goal just baffle me. But if my boys find their paths early I will be behind them, just like I will be if they don't seem to have any direction at all. I just want both boys to be happy, to be themselves and to not worry what other people think. But how do you translate that desire to them, how do you really make them understand? At least they are young and I have a little time to figure that out.

Why today was great

I got this picture of Joel after taking about 25 shots that I didn't like.

Joel was crying in his crib while I was trying to get us ready to go out the door, and suddenly stopped. I walked into the room and found Gabriel, who had pulled up a stool to the crib. He was holding Joel's hand and telling him all about our day, and Joel was staring up at him with this big, happy face. I wanted to get the video camera, but I knew that would have ruined the moment. I hope that memory stays burned in my brain for a long, long time.

And finally, my neighbor, Simon, has been battling bone marrow cancer for about 9 months. He has only left the house for doctor appointments. I saw him out heartily working in the yard today. I think his marrow transplant is getting close, and I hope and pray that the treatment works to rid him of the disease. No matter what happens, it was great to see him out enjoying this beautiful weather.

Weight

The vet informed me that Molly had gained 10 pounds this winter. With her arthritis, this is bad. The fact that we haven't been able to walk her much since Joel came and because of cold weather has apparently taken its toll. Now that the weather is finally warmer, I hope to walk her three times a week, adding to Jav's twice. This should get her back in shape pretty quickly. We want our hound of a dog to be around a few more years at least!

And I hope I will reap some of that benefit too. Gabriel's favorite thing to do outside right now is to run from me all over the yard. Having two babies has changed my shape and the extra weight I am still carrying is so bad that I literally cannot run anymore. I used to be in really good shape so this has come as kind of a shock. I keep trying, but I just end up loping for a few steps then resorting to walking really fast to catch him. It's truly pathetic. I know I don't have time to exercise any more than walking right now, and I don't really want to cut back too much on calories since I'm still nursing. But as soon as that's done, watch out you extra 20 pounds. I'm coming after you.

Sweet

At random times during the day, if I can steal a hug from Gabriel, I tell him, "I love this boy!" Last night after Jav and I finished reading to him and he had hugged Jav, he crawled into my lap and gave me a big hug and whispered, " I love this Mama".

Children can truly bring more joy than anything else in life.

Idol Schmidol

I watched the first season of Americal Idol because of the local interest of Kelly Clarkson. Then I skipped the next 4 or 5 seasons. I started watching after Jav and I were married because he was a fan. I really got into it for a year or two, then realized that even if the person I was rooting for won, I didn't give a hoot about the music they put out after winning. In fact, I didn't even like the music they put out and usually ended up forgetting their names. Also, I really had a hard time with the fact that they seemed only interested in perfect voices, and alot of my favorite singers have waaaaaayyyyy less than perfect voices Willie, Tom Petty, James McMurtry, Leonard Cohen, etc). So I had decided not to watch this year. But I ended up watching the local auditions, and they pulled me back in again. I also love Ellen, and was curious about what she would bring to the judging panel.

I realize now, though, why I like watching the show. I like hearing the different versions of songs. A couple of years ago, I was blown away by the eventual winner David Cook's version of Michael Jackson's Billy Jean (a song I don't really like much to begin with). Last year Chris Allen, who also ended up winning, did a fantastic version of Bill Withers' Ain't No Sunshine. The people running the auditions also seem to have figured out that not everyone has a "perfect" voice this season. There are so many quirky voices I can't keep up with them all.

So I will pick my favorites and wait to see what they do every week with the familiar songs (or not so familiar, as many pick current Top 10 hits that I have never heard before.) And then after a winner is picked I will forget his or her name, along with my favorites, within three months or so. An added treat is that there is local interest again this season, with Casey James from Fort Worth doing his combo rock, bluesy, alt country thing. Plus, as you can see, he's pretty easy on the eyes.

Too funny

Jav and I watched The Office episode of Jim and Pam having their baby the other night. Forget that we are so behind that we still haven't watched their wedding. I had heard enough about the baby episode to know that we owed it to ourselves to watch. All of that is still so fresh in our heads that I knew we would laugh and cry.

And we loved and could sympathize with so many parts. The frustration of Jim when he was reading about contraction spans in all the different baby books. The fact that Pam was just plain terrified to go to the hospital. (Although I didn't buy the fact that she was still trying to work even though her contractions were five minutes apart. Please.) The look on Michael's face after he peeked into the room as Pam was pushing. Which made me realize that I have never seen what that looks like, but Jav has seen it twice. I'm a little jealous about that. Sort of.

The fact that they didn't realize that they had the wrong baby (and Pam was actually nursing her) was funny. I told Jav about the night I was by myself in the hospital and the nursery kept Joel for a few hours at a time so I could sleep. When I would wake up and wait for them to bring him back, I thought about the fact that he was so new to me and wondered if I would know if they brought the wrong baby back to me. Sleep deprivation can cause paranoid thinking.

But the best, funniest part, and the part that might just be the best piece of comedy writing and acting ever to me, was the male lactation specialist. Jim's face was priceless through that whole scene. And the thing is, even though it was over the top, I can see how a female might not flinch since we are so used to exposing ourselves to male gynecologists. Plus if you're desperate to get help with breast feeding, you don't really care where it comes from, as long as it works.

It was a great episode. Now we need to watch them get married!

OCD S.O.S.

We have a pretty strong strain of OCD running through our family. My grandmother passed it to my Dad, who has passed it to me and my brother, and the two of us have passed it to Macy and Gabriel. So sad. There are parts of the disease I try to fight, and others I just give up on and accept that that's the way I am. My main symptom is that I have to make sure everything is in it's proper place before I go to bed at night. I don't repetitively circle the house, or do things three times or anything WEIRD like that. But I will rearrange the dishes in the dishwasher if Jav loads it, and constantly gripe to myself about where he puts things. The thing about having OCD is that you convince yourself that you have a good reason for having to have everything just right. So if Jav puts something in a place I haven't deemed it should go, I have to fight telling him that it's in the wrong place and why. When I get tired I am not as good about keeping my mouth shut. He is always a prince and just lets me rant.

So of course Gabriel has picked up on this and is starting to show signs of OCD here and there. But I'm wondering if there's still time to save him, and how to go about it. Should I make an effort to not put things away before bedtime, no matter how much it will drive me up the wall? Should I leave things in one room even though they belong in another, like Gabriel's matchbox cars that he likes to drag to the living room every day? I usually move the box back to the playroom just before he goes to bed. I just don't want it to control his life, like it seems to with me and with Macy. When we visit my brother she spends quite a bit of time telling everyone what they are doing wrong. And although she doesn't know how to be any other way, that doesn't seem like a very fun hobby! (Plus it won't win you any friends). So I will practice saying, "it doesn't really matter where you put that" and try not to sound too forced. But if the kid was born with it, anything I say won't really help at this point.

Fun with math

I bought a "Baby's First Numbers" book for Joel at Half Price Books, mostly because of the brightly colored pictures. Gabriel wanted to read it (of course), and we discovered that the 2nd half of the book is beginning addition and subtraction. He loves it and wants to read it over and over again. Then today while he was putting up all of his matchbox cars he said, "Look, Mama. Five cars left." then he put one in the car box and said, "Now four cars left". I think he is really getting it! Good Lord I hope he is better at math than his Mama!

He is also saying the funniest things lately. If you ask him how he is these days, he doesn't say ok or good, he says, "I'm feelin' good".

Tonight when Jav was finishing up his bath he suddenly (and very enthusiastically) said, "What a day it's been". Which cracked us up.

New blog

I found my third cousin, Callie, on Facebook this past week and was so happy to catch up with her. She's from Fredericksburg, and went to NYC to write for Martha Stuart's design magazine just after graduating from UT. I was very impressed by this gutsy move, because she is such a sweet, girl-next-door type and I never imagined her doing this. Well, it turns out she has started her own design firm with another colleague and is doing really well for herself. I think they are both really talented from what I've seen on the website, which you can find by clicking on the "Scout Designs" blog link. Now I'm even more impressed, and a teeny bit jealous. And the great thing is, living in the Big City hasn't changed her sweet nature one bit. I hope she enjoys continued success (and I'll keep living vicariously through her every once in awhile).

So many changes

This is the puppy I write about below. She's already found a home and a name: Chloe.

I'm trying to keep this blog going because changes are happening so fast around our house I forget things VERY quickly.

We moved Gabriel's bed into the playroom Sunday and he seems ok with sleeping in there until Joel gets a little older and less loud. Joel is a VERY loud crier and we were convinced that Gabriel would be bothered during late or overnight feedings and diaper changes. Joel seems to be adjusting pretty well to his crib from the bassinet. I checked on both of them several times Sunday night but graduated to only once last night. I still hope to have them in one room eventually, even though it's nice for them to each have their own space. But that means we lose our office/future spare room.

Gabriel has hit some kind of developmental phase. All of a sudden he can put on his shoes and socks, pull up his pants, zip up his coat and all sorts of things he couldn't (or didn't have the confidence for) a month ago. We are also making small headway with potty training. We have him sitting in there with no diaper on 5 or 6 times a day whereas before he refused to take his diaper off. We're hoping the idea of actually going in the potty chair will kick in eventually. All of this was thanks to the enticement of truck stickers that he gets to put on a poster every time he sits. His speech has all of a sudden gotten so much better. He is pronouncing everything clearly and slowly and we don't ever have trouble understanding him now. We've decided against more therapy for now.

As hard as parenting is, it is the only thing I've ever done in my life that gives me a sense that what I do every day really matters. When Gabriel looks up at me with a huge smile on his face and says, "I did it, Mama" after pulling up his pants by himself, it makes me feel so proud and happy I could burst. No job has ever or will ever give me such a sense of accomplishment. It's the reason I find the energy to get up and do it all again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. It's something I strive to be not just good at, but great at. If someone were to start giving grades for parenting, I would want exemplary marks.

But I digress. Joel is starting to reach out for everything we put in front of him, and can grab all kinds of things. The hardest thing I'm dealing with now with him is tummy time. I basically didn't think to put him on his tummy for the first two months of his life, and so we've been having five minute tummy time sessions to get his neck and back strong enough to hold up that ginormous head of his. He HATES tummy time. If we make if five minutes twice a day, that's a pretty good day. But it's helping because he can now hold his head at 45 degrees for a minute or so.

We are all having allergy issues. I took the boys outside yesterday afternoon for an hour, and all three of us have sneezy, runny noses this morning. Jav was already having trouble. But I refuse to stay inside because of it. We will fight through spring! I'm going to start my second antibiotic to get rid of yet another sinus infection. I'm also going to call an EENT specialist to see if I qualify for sinus laser surgery.

I survived my first time with Jav away last week. He had a work trip for two nights in Houston, and we came out of it pretty well. The trick is to give the boys their baths before dinner. After dinner Gabriel is hyper and Joel is just a cranky mess. The hardest thing was trying to get Gabriel to bed peacefully even though Joel was screaming here and there. We were all very happy to see Daddy/Jav when he got back!

And we have been tempted by a ridiculously cute Rottweiler puppy even though to take on a puppy right now would be certifiably crazy. This little female puppy wandered into my neighbor's yard Sunday and he's trying to either find the owner or someone who wants her. She is very calm and could possibly be full-blooded. I wish I had never seen her, not just because of the cute factor and guilt if he gives up and takes her to a shelter, but because I think she is exactly what we would be looking for once Molly can't be a good guard dog anymore. But Molly has a few good years left, we hope, and I just don't have any more energy to devote to dealing with, walking, and training a puppy right now. Plus Bones would probably kill us all in our beds if we brought any more new beings into our house for awhile!

Stores

Gabriel thinks you can get everything from a store, but he thinks more specifically than we do about these things. The Halloween Scary Guy Store was the first in a long line of funny store titles he has come up with, including the Battery Store when his toys needed new batteries and the Birthday Cake Store for family parties. But the funniest one yet came this past week when we realized he had outgrown one of his shirts and couldn't get it over his head. He said, "Mama, we need to go to The Hole Store for a bigger hole." Makes perfect sense to me.

Hazy shade of winter

I'm still in a fog from lack of sleep, spending all day indoors due to weather, and dealing with two kids all day and evening long. I told my brother it's like hibernating in a baby cave, where you are isolated from normal people and news events for awhile. We had a rare nice afternoon this week and going outside for an hour makes all the difference in the world, probably not just for me but for Gabriel too.

Joel is such a good baby in many ways, but he is a difficult nurser. He likes to eat totally on his own terms, and that means after about 8 to 10 minutes, he's through. In the mornings he will go two hours or more without wanting any more. In the late afternoon/evenings he usually eats for a longer stretch, but only makes it about an hour to an hour and a half before wanting more. But then he sleeps at least 5 hours through at night, which I cannot complain about AT ALL. One night this week he went 7-1/2 hours. Of course, I got up thinking he would wake up at any moment instead of sleeping in with him. I do get a little tired of nursing him so often in the evenings. It basically means I can't play with Gabriel in the afternoons and Jav is pretty much in charge of Gabriel until bedtime. If I can get Joel to sleep before Gabriel goes to bed, I can at least go in and read and sing to him before it's lights out for him.

I feel like my lack of attention to Gabriel has taken a small toll. He has been hitting lately. He's only hit Jav and me a couple of times, and the stern talks and time-outs that he received seems to have had some affect on him. But I see him hitting his stuffed animals, slamming his hand into the floor or walls, and I believe it's because of aggressive feelings about the baby. At least he is bright enough to know to never take it out on Joel, but I still would never leave them alone together just in case. I don't think Gabriel has a sense yet of what "hurting someone" actually means. This is really tough for me to see. I have been much better about taking the small stolen moments when Joel is sleeping to try and play with Gabriel, but half the time he doesn't want to play with me, like he's already given up on me. And I am truly trying to not lose patience with him, even when he squares off and says, "NO!" when I ask him to do something. Which he does all day long, especially if Joel is crying or I am nursing Joel because he knows it's difficult for me to get up and make him. I noticed that I was doing much more yelling from the couch trying to get him to mind, which isn't a good thing to do either. My goal for Lent is to stop yelling so much at everyone, especially Gabriel and Molly, and then to stick with it after Lent is over. I think this is much more productive than giving up sweets.

And speaking of Molly, our poor pets are pretty neglected these days too. They live for all of us to go in the backyard and play. That's when they are all at their happiest. But this cruel winter has not allowed for that very often, and with all the Joel/Gabriel attention it's left them a little lost. I manage to walk Molly once a week, but will be doing that more with Joel once it warms up. Jav tries to walk her another two nights a week, which helps keep her arthritis at bay. Zoe seems to tolerate anything we throw at her, but it makes me feel so guilty to see how excited she gets when it's time for me to brush her for two minutes before I go to bed every night. All of that happiness for only two minutes of attention? Bones is the only pet who has shown some aggressive behavior, but luckily, like Gabriel, knows better than to take it out on the baby. He takes it out on either Zoe or my favorite red chair in the living room. He'll walk around the house meowing for someone to pay attention to him for a half hour, then he starts to snap and run around the house making that weird "Cat on Attack" noise.

I know all of this will get better. Joel is getting sitting in the swing for longer periods of time, and is starting to enjoy time on the activity mat. And no matter how hard the day is, I always remember two things in the back of my head. One is that I'm so thankful for these two kids that even though it's hard I can't imagine my life without them now. And two is that they stay little for such a SHORT amount of time, and I need to relax and enjoy it while it lasts.

Snow days

Unbelievable! But pretty cool to have happened in our lifetimes. We are supposed to get more snow early next week. Do I still live in Texas?

One of my most embarrassing moments in life, ever,...

...was picking out this butternut squash and putting it in my grocery cart. It was in a big pile and they were all shaped pretty much like this one. And that's really all I need to say about that.

Driving on ice, then and now

Yesterday we already had several inches of snow on the ground when we woke up. This never happens in Texas, unless it snowed the day before. I was not too happy about this, because I signed up to bring snacks to Gabriel's Valentine's party at MDO. But I was mainly upset because I didn't want to get Joel out in the snow, not because of the possibly slippery drive. Because, you see, I LOVE to drive on ice.

At least I used to.

We think this trait was inherited from my grandfather, who used to load up my Mom and uncle in the car anytime it sleeted just to drive around on it. After getting stuck on a hill and almost not making it home one icy night about 20 years ago, my Dad showed me how to downshift using my gears (even in my automatic transmission car), so that I would barely have to tap the brakes to stop. Ever since then I can't wait to get out there. I used to make everybody in my office angry because I would show up on time on snow days, and our boss would slightly rag on everybody else for getting there slowly (and probably safer, I might add) one by one. But that was all before I had kids.

When my children are in the car, I discovered that I felt like I had a huge target on the side of my vehicle. Everyone else was the enemy who might slide into us. As I inched my way on the iciest streets I'd ever driven on yesterday, I wondered if it was worth it just to deliver my 18 frosted Valentine's cookies (store bought, of course.) I was silently cursing the HEB school district for not realizing how dangerous it was out here and insisting on having classes yesterday. My Mom had suggested just dropping off the cookies and then taking Gabriel back home, thereby saving us the hassle and danger of getting out again to pick him up. So halfway there, I was explaining to him why he couldn't stay for the party, when I realized that I had left the damn cookies at home. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!!! I immediately pulled over and called to tell them that I had made it part of the way, but it was just too icy and I was going back home, and please apologize for me for ruining their party. I failed to mention my forgetfulness.

So we got turned around to head back home. The roads were just getting worse and worse. I forgot to downshift at a four-way stop and slid halfway into the intersection. Then once we got to our neighborhood it was even worse. Instead of just icy patches, it was like driving on an entire sheet of glass. I almost didn't make it up the driveway, but finally was successful. When I pulled into the garage, I burst into tears of relief. Maybe when the kids are older, my strange gusto for slippery driving might come back. But until then, I'll be one of those people who never even attempts to even leave the house.

Pictures of our snow day to follow.

Preschool romance

Gabriel doesn't talk much about his preschool class. There are some really cute kids in his class that have been together now for two years, but he still doesn't seem to have bonded with any of them. I was chatting with another Mom on the way in to pick them up a few weeks ago. Her daughter, Olivia (who is even taller than Gabriel, who is really tall for a 3-year-old), was talking over the weekend about school, and mentioned Gabriel. Then she paused and said, "He's cute". Her Mom said that her husband almost died and couldn't believe he was already hearing those words coming out of his daughter's mouth about a boy.

Tuesday when we were walking in, we saw Olivia and her Mom, and Gabriel said hi to Olivia. That was the first time he ever said hi to any of his classmates, even though I nag him to quite often. So Thursday when I get there to pick up Gabriel, the room is still really dark and it takes me a minute to focus. Gabriel was sound asleep on his mat, and Olivia was sitting next to him rubbing his back. I almost dropped Joel. When I got my composure back I told her that she what a really sweet girl she was. Gabriel woke up and was totally oblivious to the whole thing. Olivia handed me his shoes to put on him, then folded up his blanket and put it in his backpack for him. I told her she was a really good helper and made Gabriel tell her thank you, which he mumbled in his sleepy fog. We ran into her Mom on the way out, and I mentioned that Olivia was very sweet and helped us get our stuff together today. I didn't have the nerve to tell her about the back rubbing.

Kitchen zero to kitchen hero

I just finished watching "Worse Cooks in America" on The Food Network. It was a reality show in which two well-known chefs picked people who supposedly knew nothing about cooking (nominated by their friends and family) and put them on one of two teams for a 10-day immersion boot camp in the kitchen. The best candidates from each team made a three-course meal for three food critics. The winner they picked received $25,000. I was rooting for Jenny, a 21-year old waitress who decided during the course of the show that she wanted to be chef (everyone else on the show just wanted to go home and cook for their friends and family), but the girl on the other team beat her. I wasn't going to watch it, but I caught part of the 2nd episode and was immediately hooked. These people seemed real, and they REALLY didn't know anything about cooking. I think I was fascinated because I used to be one of them. It's kind of like how someone who lost lots of weight would be really into "The Biggest Loser".

But years of experience, reading cooking magazines and watching countless hours of The Food Network has greatly improved my skills. I think my best skill (this is making me think of Napoleon Dynamite) is putting foods together and knowing what flavors go well together. I'm pretty good at getting everything ready at the same time. One thing I still need some help with, though, is knife skills. I'm really sloppy, don't hold the knife right and cut myself pretty often. Central Market offers a class at least once a month on knife technique, but I think I'm too embarrassed and intimidated to take it. I've also never owned really good knives, which I'm sure would make a difference.

I've been able to make dinner most nights since Joel arrived, even though it's a real challenge. Joel has a tendency to eat very little in the morning, then he wants more and more as the day progresses. He eats at least once an hour from 5 until he goes to bed, around 8 or 9. I try to limit prep and cooking time to 30 minutes most nights. If I make something that takes longer, I have to get part of it ready earlier in the day, even on the weekend. Jav is also helping me by doing part of the cleaning up. He's told me we could do more take out, but I'm pretty stubborn about the cost and the not-so-healthy factors. Plus I want Gabriel (and later Joel) to experience simple, real flavors of food, (like how good and sweet a carrot can taste) and you just don't get that with take out. So I'll continue to work like crazy to put dinner on the table most nights, and hopefully continue to learn even more about cooking. One day I might even take that knife class.