More on Jojo's brain

I was talking to Jojo about how really big he got while he was in my tummy. He got a slightly horrified but mostly thoughtful look on his face. Then he said, "Mommy, did you eat me?"

Funny boy!

I don't wanna grow up!

I have conversations with my different selves all the time. No, I am not Sybil. I'm just a normal person with much goings on in my head. Here's how one went today:

My current self, who is trying to eat healthier:  "Eat the stems of your spinach.  They're the healthiest part. "
My 10-yr-old self:  " But I hate the stems. The leaves are heathy enough. "
Current:  "Just eat them!"
10-yr-old:  "You sure are grouchy and mean now that you're old. "
Current:  "You would never have gotten this far without me!"

I think having my kids as an old person has its goods and bads. One good is that you don't quite let go of your own kid side. Since we constantly watch kids' movies and read kids' books, the grownup stuff really does seem boring sometimes.

I was driving Jojo to t-ball practice and one of my favorite songs that reminds me of high school came on:  You Got Another Thing Coming by Judas Priest. Many of those high school favorites either drive me crazy now because I'm just finally burned out, or the lyrics make me cringe. But this one is still a keeper. And I just let loose. I sang at the top of my lungs. I beat the steering wheel for every drum riff. I BANGED MY HEAD!!!   Then I caught a glimpse of Joel's face in the rear view mirror. At first I was actually startled to see I had a kid. After all, I had returned to my 16-yr-old self. But his face was such a combination of amusement, slight fear and wonder that I soon returned to my Mom self. And told him it was ok, I just really liked that song.

I don't want to lose that part. It's easy to get bogged down by stress over money, or from worrying about some issue they are having, or the crazy busy schedules we try to keep, or from lack of proper sleep. It's easy to wake up feeling my age, or sometimes even older. But I find myself searching for a younger self a lot these days. I make myself get up and dance with them even though my old self is tired and just wants to watch. I drag myself out the door to walk Tucker, and try to say ok if they want to come along.  And it usually makes me feel more energetic, happier and yes, younger.

I started reading the third Harry Potter book to Gabriel this week. It's my favorite of all the books and I'm downright giddy about picking it up again. I realize I could just re-read it on my own, but it is so incredibly fun to hear and see his reactions, and share the story with him.   How lucky that I get to re-live so much of my life again but this time experiencing it through my kids' eyes.