The crazy never really stops, does it?

When we first had Gabriel, we were too overwhelmed with exhaustion and the stress of being new parents to really stop and think about how much faster and busier our lives got. Then after Joel, same thing. You're sleep deprived and you just go through the motions of what you have to do in that fog, although it was easier in the sense that we knew what it was like to have a baby the second time around.

For many years now, it seems we are so nonstop busy that we don't get to stop to catch our breaths. It also seems like life gets more stressful than I can handle sometimes. Up to about six months ago (right around when Joel turned one), I would always say, "All of this will get easier and we'll have more time to do nothing." Well, now I am starting to realize that the busy never really goes away when you have children. And the really stressful times come so often that I think it's dawning on me that this is just my life now. I need to get a grip on the fact that a) we have lots of family here, so always will be busy with them, b) having older pets is going to be hard and expensive, and maybe even sad sometimes c) the kids are going to continue to get sick alot when they are little and d) we live in an old house that will constantly have things breaking down and needing to be fixed.

In other words, maybe the problem is me, and that I'm just not dealing with the stress very well.

Take, for example, the past week. Last Thursday and Friday I cleaned house like a mad woman because I had not done so in a very long time. My side of the family came for our annual Easter Egg Hunt and lunch on Saturday. It was great fun, but we were wiped out afterwards. Sunday we had Mass at 9 am and then changed clothes for a picnic and afternoon at Randol Mill Park with Jav's family. Once again, loads of fun, but completely exhausted afterwards.

Tuesday night I realized that Zoe had not eaten or drank anything since the night before and was not coming out from underneath the bed. Jav was supposed to fly out of town for one night Wednesday morning, and dropped her off at the vet on the way to the airport. The vet is pretty sure she had a bladder infection. This meant that Wednesday night, along with getting the boys fed, bathed and put to bed by myself (really not a problem anymore), I was trying to make sure Zoe ate her food with the antibiotic stirred in and was trying to keep track of whether or not she drank any water and used the litter box.

Thursday afternoon Gabriel got hit with a stomach virus, but luckily it passed through him really quickly and he seemed over that part by bedtime. But now he's coming down with a cold. Jav and I were supposed to go see a movie and go out to eat for our anniversary tomorrow, but we've cancelled with the grandma babysitters and will try again either Sunday or who knows when since Mother's Day is right around the corner. Oh, and did I mention that I'm hosting my book club here on Wednesday night? After working that day?

It still sounds awfully crazy to me. But I now realize that there are millions of families with kids and lots of family and pets who are going through the same types of weeks, maybe even busier with baseball practices and games, and homework, and whatever else that we haven't even started yet. I know how lucky we are to have these boys, to have our family close and to have so many good friends that we are busy all the time. Sometimes I just wish we could say "NO" to a few more things so that we could stop and take a breath, chill out, lay in the hammock, read a book, putter in the yard, browse in a bookstore, watch an entire movie, lollygag and loll about. Sleep.

I know you're thinking, "You need a vacation!" So true, but sadly probably not an option for us this year. Or maybe you're thinking, "Just chill out and get a grip. And quit whining!" Which is probably what I would think if I read this and somebody else wrote it.

Another crazy zoo trip

We had my niece, Macy, over to spend the night last weekend. We decided to take her to the zoo, partly because they were having a new dinosaur exhibit and partly because it was absolutely beautiful outside that day. Every time we've been to the zoo lately, we've seen some really neat things. This time did not disappoint, and was just made even more fun since Macy was with us. This was the first dinosaur we walked up on. Gabriel is not convinced at this point that it's not real. They all moved and made noise, and were just so cool!

This guy was the biggest one. A little while after this was taken, we ended up at Gabriel's favorite spot - the birds of prey. (Which just happens to be mine too.) We always see something pretty amazing from these beautiful (and big) birds. And this time was no different. One of the Bataleur Eagles was sitting on a nest, and looked quite content to be there no matter how many visitors were staring at her. Then, we realized that one of the Harpy Eagles had landed just over the walkway and was causing quite a stir. He was literally two feet above our heads, but we were coming at him from behind. When I started winding around to try to take his picture from the front I overheard other zoo patrons saying something about being sorry for the mouse. I thought, uh-oh. And sure enough, he was clutching a little mouse between his gigantic talons. I tried to tell Macy and Gabriel to just walk on by and not look too close. But what does a little kid do when you tell him/her not to look at something. They gawked. And were so excited to see the mouse. Luckily, just after we all had cleared him and were looking for the Andean Condor, we heard the crowd go, "eeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!" So I guess we just barely missed seeing him eat his dinner, which would have been a little too much nature, even for me.

This looks like a triceratops, but is something called a torosaurus.

I just love it when Gabriel can spend time with his cousins. These two aren't very far apart in age, but when Cade and Macy are both at our house they have a tendency to play with each other and sort of forget about Gabriel (which I totally understand!). But that's why I decided to start having them over one at a time, alternate months. Gabriel and Macy had a GREAT time together and really bonded this time.

My very cute chubby-cheeked men.

She is such a cutie! We had so much fun with her, and laughed so much our sides hurt during dinner. I love she and Cade SO MUCH and am so glad they are close enough to be able to see them so often. Next we'll get Cade in May. Yay!

Dyo Dyo

Taking a time out from his cars to do a little kicking.

I love this picture of Joel and Poppy.

...which is the way Joel says his name. We all call him Jo Jo except Gabriel, who still prefers Joel (and corrects us if we try to call him Gabe). I caught Joel in the hall playing with matchbox cars one afternoon, just mumbling to himself, "mama, dyo dyo, mama, dyo dyo." So cute. Everything he does right now is SO STINKIN' CUTE!

He likes to say a long string of Joel words while he's got one arm up in the air and his thumb and forefinger pressed together. The only thing I've determined is that maybe he thinks he is King Joel addressing his minions. Jav thinks that he is trying to tell us something very important.

He's trying to run, and those pudgy rolls of leg are going to be slimming down soon, I fear.

He LOVES to play Gabriel's drums. And gleefully speeds through the house if he happens to get ahold of the drumsticks. I've noticed that instead of constant movement through the house, he is now sitting and playing with toys for ten minutes at a time. After telling people that I didn't think he would ever get into books like Gabriel seems to be, he is contradicting me by picking out books and happily looking through them all through the day.

He started blowing kisses to people last week. And adds a, "mmmmmmm wa"

He stretches his arms to the ceiling on command ("Stretchy, stretchy, stretchy, etc...) then drops them really slowly while audibly exhaling and saying, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh". Something he learned from watching Mommy stretch. And speaking of Mommy, he comes to find me to give me a squeeze and a kiss behind the knees around every 15 minutes. I relish each and every one. The kid needs to teach at a school for hugging.

Food is a challenge right now, at least healthy food. He is a cheese, bread and fruit man. The only meat I can get down him is turkey sausage or bologna (at least it's turkey, right?). He likes peanut butter and jelly and scrambled eggs, so at least I have a few protein options. Vegetables are a complete and utter failure. I've tried every kind and not only will he not eat them, he doesn't even want them on the high chair tray. I felt like I was making a little progress last week when he actually picked up and tried cucumber one night and sweet potatoes the next. They both ended up back out of his mouth, but at least he tried them. Sigh.

He wants to be outside ALL the time. Which I would love if it weren't for his terrible allergies. They were so bad that he developed an ear infection. So his doctor put him on a nasal spray even though he usually waits until the child turns two.

Language is present, but only in Joel-form. He says "mama", "dada", "baba" (Gabriel), "Tita", "door" (we have no idea why) and can moo like a cow. We know he is understanding many more, but doesn't seem to want to repeat them when we tell them to him. It's a little frustrating, but he just gives me this look like, "All in good time, mama". All in good time.

From Disappointment to Bursting with Parental Pride

The grandmothers anxiously awaiting a performance that never came.

Jav and sister Sandra, who really should win the Tia of the Year award, every year.

Gabriel looks tense already, doesn't he? I was concerned at this point. Look at Joel hamming it up with his fake smile face. How do you know how to do a fake smile face when you're not even two?

We attended Gabriel's school fundraising event Thursday night, along with both grandmothers and one Tia. You see, he was supposed to get on stage and sing. But he didn't. He had a mini freak-out and started saying he wanted to go home as soon as the first group started getting off the stage. I had my hands full of a very cranky and Mommy-centric Joel, so Jav carried him up to the stage and hoped to talk him into joining his classmates. But no, he just wouldn't do it. So what to do as a parent? You can't take him kicking and screaming and make him stand up there. I wish I had just tuned out Joel and taken Gabriel myself, but that probably wouldn't have worked either. I had forgotten that last year the same thing almost happened, but we got lucky when one of his teachers passed our table on the way up to the stage and whisked Gabriel up there with her before he had a chance to protest.

I don't want Gabriel to have fear dictate to him what does and doesn't do as he grows up. I was that way for the better part of my life and have some regrets about it. I realize that he's still very young to be thinking about this. I guess I'm wondering, at what age do we sort of nudge him to do something that he really doesn't want to do, when we know that he will have fun doing it. I had a talk with him the next morning, and told him that after all that practicing that he sort of let down his classmates, his teachers, and most of all himself by not making himself get on stage and sing. He missed out on having some fun, and sharing his wonderful voice with all of us. He just kept saying, "But it's okay Mommy."

Then, later that same day, we visited the school where my dad is principal, Jo Kelly. We had not been for several years and his two secretaries really wanted to see Gabriel and meet Joel. My mom came too, since dad is about to retire and she may not get another chance to visit him there. Jo Kelly is the only Fort Worth public school where severely mentally and physically challenged kids can attend. I didn't realize that my dad wanted to take us around to classrooms, so I didn't have time to prepare Gabriel for anything. The kids are almost all in wheelchairs, and range from barely moving to having severe spasms, and from remaining totally quiet to verbal and sometimes shouting. The first classroom was quite a shock to the little guy, but my dad saw his face and leaned down to tell him that most of the kids here are disabled, but they are still kids just like him.

Gabriel proceeded to amaze me. He brightened right up, seemed to accept everyone just the way they were, started waving "Hi" to most of the kids, and even went up to talk to a few of the higher functioning kids when prompted by a teacher. He was downright charming with the teachers. I have never been so proud of him as I was walking through that school. And I told him so when we got back to the car. I really hope that he remembers the visit, and can continue to be accepting of people, especially kids, who are different.