The little things can make such a big difference.

We lost our parish priest, Father Paul, over the summer when he was promoted to bigger and better things.  I have written about the nature of his wonderful-ness, especially his handling of the Friday morning school Masses.  He included the kids all throughout by asking questions and calling on different kids to answer.  He thanked the class who was in charge that week and had all of us applaud to show our appreciation.  He thanked everyone involved in Mass, musicians, choir, hospitality ministers, and taught the kids about respect.  He talked often about being sorry for things and asking for forgiveness.  He praised teachers and encouraged the students to thank them.  He told funny jokes.  He stressed the importance of being thankful for all of our blessings. When you walked out of a Friday morning Mass, your heart would be full of all of those wonderful things, and of the joy the kids had from feeling important, included and appreciated.  That joy would carry you for the rest of the day, sometimes even into the weekend.

His replacement, Father Eric, had some BIG shoes to fill.  But we all reserved hope that since Father Paul hand picked his own replacement, it would be someone special.  Well, the jury is still out.  Many people in the church office positions decided to leave as soon as Father Paul announced he was leaving.  I have been told that this is a normal turn of events when a new priest comes in.  It is such a time of transition anyway that people decide to retire or step down.  But several left a month or so after Father Eric took over.  His demeanor behind the altar does not seem to me to be a welcoming or friendly one.  It almost seems intimidating, like he is daring anyone to challenge his way of doing things.  He dressed down the choir and pianist about a mistake that was made in front of the entire congregation, which didn't seem very professional.  Jav went to a Parent meeting for First Communion participants and heard from the meeting leader that "no, we can't do it this way...yes I know that's how we've always done it before... but Father Eric has his own way of doing things and that is the end of it. We've asked and asked and he is not budging."  Hmmmmmm.

So imagine our happiness when we found out that Father Paul was coming to host Masses all of last weekend.  And to top it off, Gabriel's class was leading the Friday morning Mass.  There was an excited buzz that spread around the church when the kids saw Father Paul before Mass even started.  And soon we all were enveloped in his loving ways again.  He included the kids by asking questions of them all throughout Mass.  He would call on at least 10 kids to answer each question.  He thanked the 2nd graders not once, but three times and wanted us to applaud their fine work.  I don't know specifically what that kind of appreciation does to a 2nd grader, but it must give them confidence on some level.   We went to Mass again Saturday and that time got to say hello and hug him afterwards.  I couldn't even talk.  Fighting back tears, I just said that we really missed him and it was so, so good to see him.  I think I may try to get his address so I can write occasionally.

But his visit got me thinking about what his actions, no matter how small, do for those (and my) kids.  And I wondered why Father Eric wouldn't want to have that same impact on them.  He reads his homilies very quickly.  If he does happen to ask a question, it is meant to be rhetorical and he doesn't expect or want the kids to answer.  He gives the same homily for the Friday school Mass that he gives to all the Masses, not adjusting to really reach the kids.  Unfortunately he has never been around when Father Paul officiated a school Mass, so I have been praying that the wonderfulness of the school and its students will work some magic on him.  Or that the good people of our church will win him over and he will finally begin to listen to his flock and hopefully be happy to be here.

But this theory works also with teachers, principals, scout leaders or any other leader that has an impact on your kid.  Small efforts can go a long way in helping kids get through things.   And those efforts may even change their lives.

Resolutions Blehsolutions

Happy New Year!!!  2014 was a great year.  When I look back I see so much fun and so many things to be thankful for.  I am a little wistful about letting it go.

So.  Let's get started on the new year.  I don't think these should be considered New Year Resolutions.  I am instead calling this list:

Things to Make Life Easier, Healthier, Richer and Overall Happier
(Okay, I realize that is waaaaaaaayyyyy too long of a title, but like everything else I write I have trouble editing myself.)

1.  Take more walks and do more Yoga
Before and a few times during the craziness of the holidays I was getting up early to do 30 minutes of yoga three days or so a week.  I was also trying to walk Tucker a minimum of three times a week.  I would like to raise those numbers to five days of yoga a week and five walks.  Strength training is something I'd like to do more of.  But I have various aches and pains that seem to pop up more often when I try, so I'm trying to add strength where I can in my yoga sessions.  Planks, planks and more planks!  Overall my fitness goals are not to lose weight but just to feel healthier, more flexible and strong.

2.  De-clutter my house.
If there is one thing that I think will improve my overall mental health this year, it is this.  I'm proud of the fact that I spend much less time cleaning and more time playing with my kids than ever before.  But a side effect of this has been piles of stuff in every corner of every room.  Some piles stay undisturbed, and some piles slowly grow taller and taller.  But they never get smaller or go away.  I don't touch them when I clean.  If anything I just toss more stuff on them in order to rush through the cleaning.  These piles have become a huge source of stress.  To deal with them, though, takes monumental work like reorganizing closets.  I have joined a De-Clutter Group on Facebook.  The goal is to take 15 minutes a day to put away clutter in a small area every day, until an entire room is done.  The first room we are tackling in January is the kitchen.  This method is much less daunting to me so I am going for it.

3.  Less technology
I just read a great tip on another blog to keep your smart phone in one place in the house, near the charger, instead of carrying it around.  That way your access is limited, and you only go use it if you really need to look up something.  The only problem with this is that we no longer have a home phone, so my cell is the only way people can contact me.  I may try something like checking it once an hour.  I have given serious thought to trying to live without Facebook, but I think I would lose some special things.  There are people out of town that I love keeping up with and in contact with this way.  I also follow several authors that inspire me daily with their musings, like Anne Lamott and Patricia Polacco.  There are animal and wildlife sites I follow that make my heart happy with their pictures or videos they post, like the Texas Nature Conservancy and the Humane Society of North Texas.  So to give it up completely would actually make my life less rich.  I just need to have more discipline in controlling my time spent there.

4.  More reading
This goes hand in hand with number 3.  I have a huge list of books I cannot wait to pick up and read, along with a monthly Book Club book.  I have a tendency to fall in bed, exhausted at the end of the day, and find myself scanning Facebook.  I have the intention every night of picking up my book afterwards, but I normally get too sleepy to do so.  So I need more discipline for me to NOT pick up that phone at night, and instead pick up my book.  Maybe I will be able to read more than four pages before falling asleep.  I also hope to pick up books more during the weekend, while enjoying a morning cup of coffee, or during a quiet moment after lunch.

5.  Say NO more often
I really messed up several times in the last few months by volunteering for things I really had no time for.  I became a Den Mother for Cub Scouts which is something I really wanted to do and have been enjoying.  But then I said I would help with Rechartering our pack.  This becaome a nightmare, having to try to answer questions that only the Scoutmaster really could answer, and nagging him for answers when I don't really know him well.  I finally had to say NO I will not help with this after all.  Sorry.  Then I felt guilty.  It would be better to not get myself in that position from the start.  On the last day of school before holiday break, I was asked to help out with each of the boys' Christmas parties.  I said no to both, and instead went to get my hair colored.  The guilt was there but not nearly as strong as it has been.  I will keep practicing until I have no guilt.

6.  Being a good mom
This is a constant that never goes away.  Both to boys and to pets.

7.  Being a good wife
This really needs work.  I have little energy or patience left by the time I spend time with Jav.  We talk about problems with the kids, money or anything else after kids go to bed.  Tempers can run high just because of sheer exhaustion.  I need to have more patience during these conversations.  I also need to find out more about his work day and let him vent more.  And we need to have more time with just each other.  Date nights out or movie nights in.

So that sums up my Things.  Here's to a wonderful 2015!