Mama bear

Gabriel and I went to a Young Chef's Academy class this morning. It was supposed to be a neighborhood Mom's group event, but the one other Mom and kid that were supposed to come didn't show up. The cost was $35.00 and Gabriel had been looking forward to it for weeks. I was a little apprehensive, just because he sometimes doesn't take to alot of structure well and he has a tendency to give up on stuff if he thinks it's too hard. But since he's going to school three days a week and the teachers haven't mentioned anything problems, I had a little hope that he might find it fun.

The place seemed really cool at first, with a brightly colored kitchen, and all the kids getting to wear aprons and sit on stools at a stainless steel counter. It became clear to me after the first 5 minutes or so, however, that neither The Chef nor his assistant (an EXTREMELY bored-looking high school girl) were very good with smaller kids. To make things worse, all the other kids in the class were regulars and had obviously been coming for awhile. The only exception was a small 3-year-old who had his older brother helping him out. I knew we would probably be in trouble when Bennett and his Mom still weren't there after 15 minutes. Gabriel kept looking at me through the glass (where the parents could stay and watch), and asking where Bennett was. Then he kept squiggling on his stool so much that it would end up too far away from the counter for him to reach anything, but no one noticed so I would run in and scoot him up. I told him that it didn't look like Bennett was coming, but that he was doing a great job - just keep listening to the chef. The problem was, the chef was kind of an idiot. I kept thinking how I could do so much better getting not just Gabriel, but all the kids engaged and excited about cooking.

They were making a quiche (another problem since Gabriel doesn't like eggs), and Gabriel tried to chop the onion and Swiss cheese with his really cool pizza cutter-type slicer. But most of it kept landing on the floor. Once again, no one noticed or tried to help him do it better until almost the whole onion was on the floor. Then it was his turn to crack the egg and try to put it in the bowl. The whole thing ended up on the counter. Although the chef tried to be nice and laugh it off, you could tell he was irritated. And of course, Gabriel could tell he was irritated and thought he had done something wrong.

All of a sudden I noticed he was rubbing his eyes, and for a second I thought the onion was bothering him. Then his bottom lip started to stick out like it has since he was a baby and about to cry. I went in and took him off to the side where no one could hear us and he managed to get out, "I want to go home" just before the tears started. I tried to tell him that they were almost done and he was going really well. I don't want him to be one of those kids that can't see anything through to the end if it's too hard (like I am). But he held his guns, and since I was inclined to agree with the shabby way they had run the class, I quietly took off his apron and hung it back on the peg. The Chef sort of smiled and mumbled, "Sorry," as we were walking out.

I wanted to punch him. And the bored girl who was supposed to be helping. They made my kid CRY. And have a terrible time at something he had looked forward to for weeks.

Once we got outside I gave him a big hug and we drove just up the street to Starbucks. We got Chai, warm milk and mini donuts, and it didn't take long before he looked like his happy little self again. My anger started to wane a bit, but not enough to complete forget. I sent an email tonight telling them how disappointed I was at the outcome. And a suggestion to hire people who know how to work with young kids if you are going to include them in your classes.

That Mama Bear instinct is a mighty powerful one.

Halcyon days

I love the word "halcyon". According to Greek mythology, "halcyon days" refers to the seven days of winter when no storms occur. Mary Chapin Carpenter has a song called "Jubilee" on one of her CDs (Stones in the Road, in case anyone is interested). I love, love, love this song, and the last line says, "When we look back and say, those were halcyon days, we're talking 'bout jubilee!" I have no idea what she's singing about, but I've interpreted that line in my own way using the last year of my life. My definition would be more like, "days when you have no stress and don't have to be rushed to do anything".

There is no doubt that having babies and toddlers around is hard work. It's the hardest work I've ever done, and I've never been so tired night after night when I finally fall into bed. And even though having Joel doubled the hard work, there has also been a sense of calm and well being that hit me sometime during the last year. The realization hit me that I have been blessed beyond belief. I've been able to stay home with these wonders and witness every change, every milestone reached, like Joel walking his first five or six steps down the hallway last Thursday. All the big stuff.

But it's the little stuff that I think I will remember. The stuff that a full-time working Mom might not have time for. The days of coming home from doctors appointments and driving by the duck pond on the way home, just to see if we can count how many ducks stayed instead of migrating (it turns out all of them). Driving Gabriel to see the middle school construction site so he could watch the diggers and cranes at work. Going the long way home from various places in order to swing past the fire station and maybe, just maybe, catch a glimpse of the fire trucks. Doing nothing in the backyard other than laying on a blanket and staring up at the sky through the trees. Then finally succumbing to Gabriel's begging and kicking the soccer ball up and down the yard with him, holding a gleeful Joel the whole time. Watching Joel take blocks and place them in various very important places around his room, like in his crib, in his nightstand drawer, and in the seat of the rocking chair. Hanging out after dinner to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Patty Cake". Going to the scary-guy store during Halloween just to see which scary guys were left. Playing tickle on the floor with both boys.

I started working two days a week last week and our dynamic changed. Maybe it was because I felt a need to rush more, and an urgency to get things done around the house on the days I don't work. I still drove past the duck pond, but felt like I missed out on many more of our special moments. I hope that we can get back into a rhythm where the moments don't escape me, but I don't have any illusions about the fact that it will never be quite as special as it was when I had ALL of my time to give to them.

When I look back to the last year, the year Joel turned one and Gabriel turned four, I will think to myself that those were indeed our halcyon days.

Christmas pics

Abner, the ultimate symbol of friendship, dolled up for the holidays. Julie, Audra and I bought him at The Christmas Store in Dallas in 1984. We grandfathered Jana in and started passing him around between us for a year each. My kids love him, but I don't let them play with him too much for fear they will break him beyond repair.

Pics taken at Chuy's in Dallas, after we had stuffed ourselves and were ready to power shop at Froggy's.

These are all from Christmas Eve, where we hosted Jav's family for the first time. We were a little sad that Jav's Dad decided he didn't feel well and couldn't join us. These pics are all a little dark because I had lots of candles and very few lights on.
Tia Sandie's boyfriend, Michael, entertaining Joel for me while I finished up dinner. They bonded immediately because they have the same haircut.

Gabriel helping his Tita open a present.

Do you see a theme here? We still are all suffering from Ranger fever! Joel's is a Michael Young shirt and mine is Elvis Andrus. Too cool!

Tia and Michael. Such a sweet couple!

Cool! A bike helmet!

Cool! A car!

The tired family pic after the festivities were over.

A VERY excited little boy on his way to bed to listen for Santa.

And Christmas morning finally arrives. This was the first year we invested in Christmas pajamas for Gabriel. Joel's is a hand-me-down, but it worked!

One of the things Gabriel really wanted was a cowbell. We need more cowbell!

Gabriel's big present from Santa. We searched and searched for the earplugs he must have left Mommy and Daddy, but sadly to no avail. Santa, what were you thinking?

This picture makes me think of the Christmas paper carnage scene in A Christmas Story. But instead of a zeppelin, Joel got a train.

Here's Gabriel and I watching A Christmas Story, a family tradition on Christmas Day.

Now fast forward two weeks to the celebration at my Mom and Dad's. My Mom got sick Christmas weekend, then Jav and I were sick New Year's. We were all a little frustrated, but then realized that it didn't matter when we got together. As long as we all were together!

Macy showing off her first tooth loss, EVER! She has a pretty Christmas dress on because she got sick and missed her Christmas concert at school and her Mom told her she could wear it to our party.

Gabriel and Uncle Dave, patiently (HA) waiting to open presents.

Philip, Cade and Macy passing out presents.

This picture makes me laugh because it looks like Philip is a priest.

And one final sad picture of Zoe wondering where all the ornaments went, just before we hauled her favorite toy out to the curb.

Welcome to 2011

In the past I've kept notes on little things that Gabriel did or said throughout the year to post at year-end. I did this for both kids for a few months, but didn't really keep it up. I think I've done a pretty good job documenting things as they happened. So instead, I will just give a snapshot of what everybody's up to as we close out one year and start another.

The holidays have been one big blur to Jav and I. Just after our fun cousin sleepover, I got sick. Then Jav got sick. We have the same thing - sinus infections and bronchitis. Big surprise! Gabriel also started coughing and had a bad runny nose all through Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. We were supposed to go to my Mom and Dad's Christmas Day, but she's been sick and we decided to postpone it a week. Because of Jav and I we now are postponing it another week. It really sucks, especially for Jav since he was sick the entire time he was off for Thanksgiving, and now the whole time he was off for Christmas. Poor guy! I can't seem to get well, or even better this time, and we think it may be because of the mountain cedar this year being REALLY bad. Now Joel either has a bad cold or bad allergies. Gabriel seemed to get better after Christmas, but is now coughing again. We have really had it with allergies, and are even starting to research where we could move one day to get away from these seasonal allergies that plague all of us now. I'm thinking Canada. But then I'd probably turn out to be allergic to snow!

Gabriel has matured into this little mini-teenager. I really don't recognize him any more. He loves to talk to people on the phone, and loves to keep Jav and I updated on every single thing he is doing or planning to do. He has elaborate conversations between matchbox cars, dinosaurs, Toy Story figures, or anything else he finds. He is VERY strong willed and has TV or playing his new drums taken away from him when he's not minding. Which is often. He and I are very alike and therefore find ourselves clashing. I have to really watch my temper and try to find patience when dealing with this smart, talking back, opinionated, know-it-all little guy.

BUT we had a great Mommy and Gabriel only morning this past week. We started out at the library, where he loves to go. Then I decided to hunt up and down Lancaster for Sword's Music, which was around when I was young. I thought I remembered seeing it a year or two ago, and sure enough, it's still there! One of the few buildings that hasn't been either boarded up or turned into a liquor or pawn shop. (How sad.) They sell all kinds of instruments and offer lessons, which I didn't know about. I had been promising to take Gabriel if it was still there, and he was SO excited to find out it was! We just hung out in there for about 45 minutes looking over and over again at all of the instruments. He wanted to try to play all of them, but I wouldn't let him touch anything, and many of the instruments were behind cases anyway. I found out they will give drum lessons to four-year olds, but when I told Gabriel about them he said he already knew how to play. I guess he's still a little young for lessons. Then we went to Taco Bueno for lunch. It was great, because he looked at me like he used to when he was smaller, like I was his hero instead of that mean person who is constantly riding him about something. By the afternoon all was back to normal and he was not liking me very much again. I know it's because I still spend most of my free time with Joel, and I don't sit and play with him for long periods of time like Daddy does. Sigh. But the thing I am most proud of about Gabriel right now is that he is such a loving, sweet older brother. He dotes on Joel. If he does feel jealousy towards him, he takes it out on me, never on his brother. It is so sweet to see the two of them playing together.

Joel is also maturing into toddlerville at a very rapid rate, although still not walking. He loves to just stand places for a long time, but then is content to drop and crawl to the next place he's after. Which is all the places he's not supposed to go, like the toilet, the big glass doors on our entertainment center, the pet water bowl, Gabriel's tiny cars, Molly's bed (while Molly is in it), etc... etc... You can't leave him alone for a minute. If I have to get ready to go somewhere or load up the car, I put him in his room and lock the storm door (the best and smartest thing we ever installed in this house), because it's virtually baby proof. The only thing that still might happen is a bad fall, which does occasionally. On grocery store days he's in there on and off all day. I HATE grocery store days these days. It takes us 2 hours at the store and then it's such a pain to put everything away when we get home. It usually takes me all day to get it done.

Anyway, Joel is verbalizing like crazy and has no shyness about letting you know when he's mad about something. He is so dang loud! But so dang cute. He loves for me to carry him around the house and look at our family pictures. He has this cute move where he'll swing his head way out to look at my face when it's a picture of he and I. Then he smiles and kicks his excited legs. Another cute thing he's doing now is from Jav's mom. She has "blown on" the lights with both boys. She blows in the direction of the light while turning it on and off. Then she tries to get them to blow by saying it in Spanish ("sopra le", which means "blow it" from the verb soplar -to blow). Gabriel would never actually blow, just be delighted that you could do it. Joel blows, though, especially when he's on the changing table and bored. The light goes on and off about 5 times during one diaper change, if I'm quick. And he still loves to put food in his hair, which makes for cheap entertainment during meal times.

Our pets are all sick of winter and of us being sick. We haven't been able to walk Molly (who will turn 9 in February) in two weeks, and I have lots of guilt about that. I figure the more we get her moving with her arthritis, the longer she's going to live. The cats are pouty about us not ever going outside lately. All the pets are at their happiest when me and the boys go out to play. They just love to hang out in the yard with us. So this is a tough time of year for them. Zoe (who is 9) continues to amaze us with her socialness, for lack of a better word. When Cade and Macy were over she was right in the middle of all of us, and actually let both of them pet her as long as I was there to supervise. Who is this friendly cat? But she's still Zoe, because Gabriel has gotten a scratch and and light bite from her recently. both of which were mostly Gabriel's fault. Bones is still Bones, and will turn 14 this year. If he's in the mood, he's a friendly guy. If not, watch out. He is still in great shape, jumping fences and prowling around, as long as it's not too cold outside. He loves to sleep at the end of Gabriel's bed on his soft Lightning McQueen blanket. He wants to spend his late nights/early mornings in the garage, and gets very bratty if he doesn't get to go. But when we have really cold nights, like last night (24 degree low), I try to wait until as late as possible, and he tears around the house doing his mad "Meow" and a combination hop and run. Then he starts stalking Zoe, something that is happening way too much now. They get into fights about once or twice a week.

That is a picture of our life at this moment. By tomorrow, it will be different!