My new addiction

I have enjoyed honey for many years.  Before this year, I would put it on toast with butter, add it to peanut butter for a great sandwich, and of course drizzle it over cornbread.  I'm southern, after all!  I'd occaisionally use it if it was called for in a recipe.  It would usually end up getting hard and crystallized in its honey bear container before I could use it all up, though.  And, like so many food items recently, I heard you need to be careful and steer clear of honey from China.  Even if the container said U.S. on it, that didn't mean the honey absolutely came from the U.S.  So I sort of backed off from buying any.  Then for my last birthday, my sister-in-law and her husband got me a jar of what's pictured above.  A church nearby where they live has their own bees, and this is their thing.  Even though I was so happy to be given a big jar of local honey, it sat on the counter for awhile.  I didn't want it to go to waste, but I kept forgetting about it.

Enter the Fall and Winter Sinus Classic.  With all of the throats that need soothing around here, we are always looking for home remedies to soothe and/or heal what ails us.  When Jav took Jojo to the doctor one Saturday in January, there was a substiture doctor who recommended warm milk and honey for him before bedtime to soothe his throat and cough.  I had never considered this because I thought drinking milk wasn't such a good idea when having allergy problems.  BUT I'm starting to figure out the difference between allergy and sinus symptioms.  If we're only having sinus symptoms, the milk is ok.

So I gave it to them before bedtime a couple of nights, then added mornings.  After the ENT recommended I stay away from coffee, I needed something to get me going in the morning.  So I joined them.  Now we are all addicted to warm milk and honey in the mornings.  They have both stayed healthy since I started this routine.  I know it probably doesn't have anything to do with this, but who knows?

So I've expanded my honey use.  I put it in my tea, homemade stir-fry sauces and salad dressings.  I made a huge batch of sesame-honey glazed chicken.  We are going through it really quickly and are about to buy our third jar.  In fact, while typing this post I got a craving and had to go make some toast with butter and honey.  Yum!!!!!   Get busy, bees!

Courage

Gabriel had quite a final week of January.  We had already known that his class would be heading up the Friday morning school Mass.  He was given the first reading, just like in Kindergarten.  It was also Catholic Schools Week, so they had activities planned during school all week.  Service projects on Monday, school-wide prayers and Rosaries, a 7th grade Science Fair, and two Spelling Bees, grades 1-3 and 4-8.  Then certain students were chosen by the principal to read the bible readings, prayers of the faithful, and announcements during weekend Masses to wrap up the week.  Gabriel was chosen to do the first Reading for the Saturday Mass, which is the one we normally attend and where we are starting to know many people.  I was so proud of him for being selected.  His reading was a long one, with some big words, so along with school practices with the principal we started practicing at home.  It was one BUSY week!

Friday Jav and I attended the 1st Grade Mass, led by their awesome teacher, Ms. Thome.  Gabriel read his excerpt very well.  The whole class did a fantastic job!  It is always a neat experience to go to these Masses, because our priest, Father Paul, very much involves the kids all throughout.  He asks questions and all of these red-sweater-clad arms shoot up, hoping he will call on them.  He knows many kids, but if he's not sure of a name he calls them Mija or Mijo.  We also have a fantastic music director, Mrs. Pastusek, that leads the choir, guitar players, and various other instrument players.  She was Jav's music teacher also!  But she was just out of college when she started, so is still going strong.

Father Paul had all of us first-grader-moms bawling, referring to the fact that just yesterday we were holding these kids, and having to leave Mass because they were being fussy babies, and now here they are doing readings for Mass.  Sniff, sniff!  He also made a point to tell almost all of them, by name, what a great job they had done.  Afterwards we got to go up and hug Gabriel.  We took pics of the whole class, and one re-enactment picture (seen below).  And although Joel told us later in the day how proud he was of his "bwother", we didn't want Joel to see us while at Mass.  He is just starting to figure out how to be truly quiet, and sit still.  If he were to see us, I think all that good work would immediately be undone because Lord knows he wouldn't be as good for us as he is for the teachers and helpers.

I'm always on a little high when I leave those Masses.  Partly because I'm so proud of Gabriel, and amazed by his neverending courage when it comes to speaking in front of large groups.  But it is also a really good feeling to know that our kids are growing up in that environment.  Not only are they surrounded by wonderful teachers who care, but by an entire church as well.  It is worth every penny we are having to scrape together to do this.

The same day, just after lunch, I dropped off Joel at his Tita's and headed back up to the school for the 1st - 3rd grade Spelling Bee.  Gabriel had been a shoe-in, originally, but then faltered during the week and almost didn't make it in.  We practiced a little, but since we only had a week there just wasn't time to do that much.  Can you say, "Too much stuff packed into one week?"  Ya think?

He made it through one round, then missed one.  I don't even remember the word now.  All the first graders were out by the third round.  One of his friends from Scouts who is in the 2nd grade won.  It was fun to be there and watch - even though I was surprised there were not more parents there.

Then on to Saturday.  All students attending weekend Mass were to wear their dress uniforms, so both boys looked really cute.  Saturday Mass is not usually as packed as some of the other Masses, but it was a nice size crowd.  G leaned over just before Mass started and whispered, "I'm a little nervous."  I told him that it would be weird for him not to be nervous, but to do his best and I knew he'd do a great job.  When it was time he marched right up to that stage with his principal, Mrs. Krick.  And proceeded to read slowly, clearly and with meaning.  He even made eye contact with the audience several times.  He.  Amazed.  Me.  The kid was born to be on a stage! 

So many people came up afterwards to tell him what a great job he did that I lost count.  And boy, does he love that part of the experience. Even the following week, we had some stragglers come up and complement him.  And although I know Gabriel deserved all of that credit, I also think it is a testimony of how wonderful our parish is.  Always supporting, building up and filling up these kids.   Those complements will keep in his head, and will help propel him past the nervousness next time he needs to get up on a stage.  But they also are just one more source of acceptance and love.  Don't we all need as much of that as we can get?

Gabriel had earned six free ice cream treats at our neighborhood Braums, and four free personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut, all for his reading abilities.  This past week I surprised him and took him to Braums to use one of them.  It was just he and I, and I got to spend one-on-one time with this special kid.  While we chatted and laughed, I marveled at the person he is turning into.  Funny beyond belief, with the same sarcastic wit that I have.  Stubborn and convinced he is right about everything.  (Not sure where he gets that trait).  Smart and constantly curious.  Kind and thoughtful.  And so, so courageous.  Now it doesn't bother me so much, but when I was his age I think I would rather have someone poke red-hot pokers in my eyes than get up in front of people and do ANYTHING.  His father is still that way to this day.  I am so very proud of Gabriel for laughing in the face of his nervousness, and being so brave.

Being different is a good thing. I will now write that 100 times.

Sometimes a parenting Fail will just slap you in the face out of nowhere.  That happened to me this week.

Lately when we read books to Joel, I've noticed that he doesn't really want to listen fully to the story.  I chalked it up to immaturity, and just not fully comprehending some of the books we were reading.  After all, I thought, Gabriel was getting all of it by the time he was Joel's age.  So I have been fussing at him a little for not listening while I read to him.

He has a tendency to pick out the same books over and over, so lately at bedtime I have him pick out one book, and I pick out one that is new to him.  This has worked pretty well, and he seemed excited about reading, "Owen", a book about a little mouse who doesn't want to part with Fuzzy, his blanket.  But he kept interruping to ask questions.  "Who is Mrs. Tweezers?"  "Is she a boy or a girl?"  "Is that Owen or another mouse?"  Then he asked about one of the pages where the illustrator had drawn a door and part of another room in the background, "Where is that?"  I lost it.  I yelled at him for not listening and suddenly he looked down and covered his ears with his hands.  This is a move he does anytime he knows he is in trouble for something.  And I was filled with an emotion that came so quickly it almost knocked me out of my chair:  Shame.

Here is my child, filled with curiosity that his brother never even had.  Here is my child, wondering about things that do not seem important to me but are extremely important as he learns all he can about this big, confusing world.  Here is my child, being so observant he notices details on a page that most kids would never even see.  And I yelled at him for it.

I took a deep breath and said, "Jojo, that room is the kitchen.  See the pots and pans hanging on the wall?"  "Ooooooohhhhhh, the kitchen,  Cool!"  he replied.

I will try to stop comparing my kids.  I will try to accept and celebrate both their likes and their differences.  I will look at this particular child with wonder when he asks his questions, when he points out things to me I've missed, when he uses words like, "Splendid!" like he did at breakfast this morning.  When he, completely out of the blue, exhibits a passion for play-by-play while watching the Olympics.

I will try to just let him BE, and love everything about him.  From now on.

An hour and fifteen minutes of STRESS!

It has been widely rumored that us folks in Texas do not know how to drive on ice.  Well, pardon me, but when you grow up and only see snow or ice twice a year, max, it just doesn't seem like a priority, and it's definitely not worth the expense of snow tires.  At least that's how Texas used to be.

Enter the Polar Vortex!!!

Not that Poehler, silly.  I love having seasons.  I wouldn't be happy in California.  I normally really like winter.  But winter has outstayed its welcome.  I have a Facebook friend that lives in Austin.  She drives past a famous Mexican restaurant, El Arroyo, that is also known for their clever billboards.  The one she posted from last week said, "Go home winter.  You're drunk!"  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!  But it's true.

I look at the forecast on my phone every morning upon waking, and it is very surreal to see the prediction of highs in the 20's and lows in the teens.  I must have awakened in Canada!   This cannot be my balmy state.

So after two days of frigid temps already, I see on my tiny screen Thursday morning that there is a 50% chance of snow flurries in the afternoon.  Jav was working from home, and Jojo stays with him normally.  I had planned to take Gabriel for a half day, scheduled that way for afternoon parent/teacher conferences, and drive on to work.   When I went outside to load up the car and feed the birds just before leaving, I finally noticed the snow.  Already coming down.  Already stacking up and swirling around in the street.

This is a pic I took on my way into work.  Does this look like Texas to you?

We set out and there was nothing sticking.  I dropped of a gleeful Gabriel and made my way to work.  Halfway there I pulled to to stop at a light, and my brakes just gave and I dovetailed.  Me in my all-wheel-drive vehicle.  I should have turned around and gone back home.  But I stupidly drove on in.  We were all watching out the front windows in wonder at work.  It was snowing hard.  Everyone swapped their going-to-work stories, and everyone had slipped at least once.  Oh crap, we all started to realize.  What if we get trapped like those school kids in Atlanta?  I like my co-workers pretty well.  I do not want to spend the night with them.  Ever.

I called my brother who normally works downtown.  He was on the way home, and said the highway was fine but that downtown and side streets were awful.  A decision was made at my work to let everyone go home at noon.  I called Jav to see if he wanted me to leave earlier than that to pickup Gabriel.  His car is front-wheel-drive.  He said that it was only a few blocks, he thought he could handle it.  If this was a movie, you would hear ominious music as a sign of foreboding when he said that.  I made a decision when I left that I wouldn't get on the highway.  I just kept thinking an 18-wheeler would slide into me.  The only problem is that the road home instead is in the Trinity river bottoms, and winds around on hills like crazy.

What a fantastic decision.  The road was solid ice.  Not many people had been idiotic enough to drive it!  I kept downshifiting my automatic transmission into the lowest gear, and was progressing ok.  Then disaster struck when I came upon a pickup truck having trouble getting up a hill.  An 18 wheeler coming the other way had pulled way over the right to keep out of his way, but I still didn't think I had enough room to get around him safely.  So I had to stop.  When I braked, I started sliding backwards towards a ditch along the side of the road.  I stopped inches from where I would have possibly been stuck.  The pickup finally made it up the hill, and I prayed like crazy that I would do the same.  My transmission sounded as if it might fall out of the car.  But I made it.  Whew!!!  I used to love to drive on ice, and felt like it was a challenge for me to overcome.  This was not fun, it was very scary.

I very carefully drove on towards home, downshifting anywhere I needed to come to a complete stop, but sometimes just rolling through intersections without stopping, if it seemed safe.  It was slow going but really not bad - until I got to the main street that runs through our neighborhood.  There was another pickup that was stuck, and oncoming traffic was waiting for them to get unstuck, so I sat and waiting for a few minutes.  But then decided to be the jerk and go around everyone.  I also passed a fender bender that had just happened, and two more vehicles having trouble with small hills.

We live towards the bottom of a big hill, and coming down that hill was just awful.  It felt like my brakes were trying to get traction but failing.  But what was even more awful was seeing that my husband still wasn't home.  It was now 12:30, and he should have been there.  I saw that our driveway, which is also a big hill, was covered in ice.  I decided to park on the street where Jav had left his car all morning since that patch of street was clear of ice, in case his car got stranded and I could at least rescue cold boys.  I tried to call and got no answer.  I called my mom, completely panicked, wondering if I should go look for them.  This really didn't make sense - let's have wrecks in BOTH vehicles instead of just one! - and she tried to calm me by saying Jav would have called if there was anything wrong.

I went inside but didn't take any outerwear off.  Jav finally called and said he was trying a different, more traveled, way home from the school.  The main road, had indeed, been one sliding vehicle after another, and to top things off they had just let the high school out when he drove by the first time.  Teenagers driving on ice = a place to stay far, far away from.  I got restless waiting for them to get home and went outside to put out more seed for the birds.  I heard the garbage truck before I saw it, and wondered why the city had not called them all back in this mayhem.  The truck turned slowly, stopped and emptied our bin, and tried to keep going UP the hill.  Nope, not that try.  Again, halfway up, then sliding back down.  With my car right in his path if he made one wrong move driving backwards.  I was going to have to stand and watch a garbage truck crash in to my car and I couldn't do a thing about it.  Why did he keep trying?  PURE STUPIDITY is my guess.  He finally made it up the hill, and that's when I saw Jav's car, patiently waiting for the kamakazi truck to get out of his way.

Not actually the garbage truck that almost crushed my car.  

They made it safely, and I actually cried tears of thankfulness.  A trip to school and back normally takes 15 minutes, tops.  Jav left at 11:45 and got home at 1:00.  I hugged all three boys, and we all watched the garbage truck come back down the hill, skipping the houses on the worst of the slope, and shook our heads.

I felt like having a shot of whiskey to calm my frazzled nerves, but I settled for mac and cheese and hot tea.  And a long, long nap.

Book Club - a resolution I forgot

I left something off my resolution list.  I missed most of my book club meetings last year.  Even though many times it was due to Jav having to work in Dallas on Wednesday nights (he normally wouldn't get home until 8 or after, and since the meeting usually wraps up by 8:30 it was just impossible) I have to admit to myself that I was finding it too hard to get the books and read them in time.  I think I only read two or three books.

I would find myself three weeks into the month before I would realize that I never searched for the book, and there would be no way I could finish an entire book in a week with my life.  I need AT LEAST a whole month usually.  But I had also gotten into a very bad habit of thinking I needed to watch TV to relax every night.  I would get so sleepy doing this that I would'nt be able to stay awake to read.  My boss, who used to be part of our book club, had predicted that once I had kids I would never have time to read,  At the time, I thought, "Never!!"  But here I was having to admit it had come true.

I have always been a reader.  I fell in love with books at the age of 5 and never looked back.  Gabriel is now the same way, and I think Joel will be too soon.  But somewhere along the way in the last few years I abandoned books for TV, computer, and my smart phone.  Not a very satisfying way to get to sleep!  So I have been not turning on anything with a screen since the new year started.  Maybe just to fold laundry for a half hour, but that's it.  Then I curl up with my book and read at least one chapter a night, pick up my crossword puzzle book, and blissfully fall fast asleep.

My new strategy also includes getting the book early, early, early.  I prefer library books, where it normally takes a week or so to get the book if I have to reserve it.  I finished our February book early, and immediately went online to reserve the March book when it was announced.  I picked it up yesterday and already don't want to put it down.  (It takes place in Scotland - sigh....)

I went last night to our meeting and realized how much I have missed them!  The food, the reflections and opinions of these smart and funny women, talking about books, books and more books, and most importantly catching up with what's happening in their lives.  Joyce made us High Tea, since the book took place in England where they are always making pots of tea to celebrate, deal with crisis, and everything else.  Isn't it a pretty table?

When I got home I felt uplifted, and on a spiritual and mental high just from spending time with everyone.  The way I always feel after our meetings.  And that's why I hope to make every single meeting this year.

Resolutions

I normally scoff at making New Year's resolutions.  I feel like a person should be trying to better him or herself all year, not just at the beginning of a new one.  But this year I had some changes I really wanted to  make, so I made some mental resolutions.  Since those possibly might not count, I decided to write them down.  It will keep me honest, and hopefully more determined to keep them.

1.  Take better care of myself.  This is a grand sweeping statement.  It includes subsets:
           - go to sleep earlier
           - get more exercise
           - say "no" to things more often
           - stop trying to be perfect at everything
           - have more fun and do more stuff I want to do instead of stuff I feel like I have to do

2.  Watch less TV, especially before bed.  READ more, especially before bed.  This has already helped my sleep quality.

3.  Go to Mass more often as a family.  The boys go to Friday morning Mass at school.  I think because of this we stopped going on Saturday as much.  So now we are trying to go more often.

4.  Stop being afraid of change.  More about this one later.

And my continuing resolution that I started sometime last year when I one day heard myself and cringed, to stop yelling at my kids so much.  Ironic that Number 1 Resolution is also a direct result of realizing that when I'm tired, stressed out and have too much on my plate, I take it out on my kids by losing patience and yelling alot more.  So even though this is something I've already been successful at changing just because I became aware of it, I hope to get even better.  

Here is my self-grading of my resolutions so far:

1.  B         The sad fact is that when I get sick, I get more rest,.  So I've been getting much more sleep than normal, saying "no" to lots of things, and "yes" to things I really want to do, like attending my Book Club meeting for the first time in months and months.  I still need to work on that exercise, though.

2.  A          How I love (and have missed) reading before I go to bed!  Actually I read a chapter or two, then I work a crossword puzzle.  It puts me to sleep like a baby.

3.  C          We still can do better with going to Mass.

4.  Hard to say yet, so I'll give myself an Incomplete for now.