Kindness above all else

I went to the last award ceremony of the year for the boys' school, which happened to coincide with the last day of school. I was really hoping that Gabriel would make all A's for the last quarter so that he'd have done it all year. He did!  He received his quarterly certificate and then was called up for the all-year award. He was one of only three students in the entire school to receive this honor.   I was one proud mama!  The boy never complains about having to do homework and goes along with studying for tests several times.

A new award this year was for having no tardies all year. The only kid in pre-K or kindergarten to receive this prestigious award was my baby, Jojo.  But guess what?  He wasn't there. They had taken him back with the other kids in his class so he didn't get to go up on the stage to get his award. I was a little peeved by this because I think that once the kid gets a taste of the whole school giving them accolades, they want more.

The final award came up and I missed the explanation behind it. It was being awarded to one girl and one boy from each class. They announced Gabriel's name and I had to ask the mom next to me what it was for.  Her daughter Charlotte won the girl's award for his grade.  "For showing kindness and helpfulness to their fellow students all year long."  I was so surprised and proud I welled up.

Because it dawned on me that you can make good grades the whole time you're in school but that doesn't make you a nice person. Every day when they walk out the door I remind them to be kind and respectful to everyone. What a nice surprise to find out they might actually be listening to me!

The picture of Gabriel and Charlotte with their awards around their necks is a little sad. Charlotte should have received one of the No Tardies awards, but because of a mix up did not. In the pic she has obviously been crying. Gabriel is not smiling and is looking down, and I know the thing going through his head is "what did I just win an award for?"  But I explained it to him before he had to go back to his classroom and he seemed pretty proud. In our very small school I had parents of kids in
all different grades coming up to congratulate me afterwards. In the car on the way home I told him how proud his father and I were of the wonderful things he had accomplished this year. But that we were most proud of the kindness award.   That is everything.

There's a reason for this madness

Slowly but surely over the past year, I have just about over-volunteered myself. It started with the decision before the school year started last fall to "help out" with the cub scouts. But they are so starved for parents to help out that before I knew it I was taking the online test to become a Den  Leader. It was hard to find energy after working and homework and dinner on Monday nights, but I usually ended up having fun with the kids. (I didn't say "boys" because we have many older and younger sisters that come and join in the fun). It's a good thing I was available because we went from having 8-10 boys to having a minimum of 20 each week. Great for the health of our pack, but the scoutmaster could never have handled all those kids on his own each week.

Then I friended a mom acquaintance on Facebook whose daughter is in G's class. The family also attends our parish. She asked me and Gabriel to come help pull the old hymnals and replace with new ones in the pews one Saturday morning. I happened to be there when the Deacon's wife came in to ask her who was going to take over for the person in charge of Art and Environment, who had said she was ready to to step down. This ministry handles all the decorations for liturgical holidays all through the church. I thought that sounded right up my alley, and I had been wanting to volunteer I'm some fashion for quite some time.   So I spoke up and am now part of the team. My friend is now in charge, and has done an amazing job. It's been hard work but fun, and it's a great feeling to walk in and know you were a part of creating the beauty and meaning. I've learned so much about my faith and had fun getting to know my fellow parishioners. Now that we are in Ordinary Time ( no liturgical season) we will get a break until we start to plan for Advent next fall.

And in late March I decided to try out the Advisory Council for the boys school. They had openings for many seats, one of which was the Finance Committee Chair. The principal really wanted someone with Accounting and/or Finance experience. So I went to the April meeting and was voted in. I had no idea what to expect. I was thrown right into the fire because we have to reapply for accreditation with the Diocese next fall. Each committee had to come up with a strategy to improve the school in their department. I was able to come up with some things with help from my husband so I wouldn't feel like a total loser with nothing to offer. I may have really bitten off more than I can chew with this position. I have many tasks I will be working on this summer and beyond, even though I still don't really know what I'm doing. I will say that I have newfound respect for the principal, administration and teachers and can't believe how much effort, blood, sweat and tears go into running a school.

I got home from the May meeting and started writing down all I needed to do for all three volunteer efforts. I told my husband I might need to hire a personal assistant to keep it all straight. But I don't want to drop anything yet. I have felt a little depressed at times with my job, and the my lack of adding to the greater good. When I realized I didn't have it in me to teach, my spirit dropped to the lowest level it had in awhile. All of these things have changed that. Now I am making a difference in my kids' lives (and possibly many others) by helping out their pack, their school and our church. It is a fantastic feeling. And as long as my job remains part-time I think I can keep it all going.

It will come back to bite you

Many years ago, while going through a divorce and an identity crisis, I dated someone who was obsessed with Nascar. You know, those cars with ads plastered all over them, driving around in circles?  Deep down I really didn't like any of it. It was noise and air pollution all rolled into one big drunkfest. I went with him to the race at the Texas Motor Speedway, and then a few months later we even went to Vegas to see one there. Every weekend in between we would watch the races on TV.  I got to know all the drivers, their personalities and who sponsored their cars. I knew the cities of all the racetracks and how big or small each track is. I even picked a favorite just to be able to get into it more:  Terry Labonte, who was from Texas and drove the yellow M&M car. When I throw myself into something, I will learn about it to the point of obsession.

But that relationship fell apart, as most rebounding ones do. After the initial depression, I began to feel overjoyed that I didn't have to pretend to like something so much anymore.  I walked away and never looked back. I'd sometimes hear discussions about it but my brain would just shut down at the mere mention of it. It really taught me a lesson about knowing who you are, being honest about what you like and don't like, and that it's ok for people in a couple to like completely different things. I vowed I would never pretend to like something again.

My sister-in-law married a huge Nascar fan. So talk of upcoming races and results began to creep into family discussions at birthdays and holiday events.  Then they did the most horrible thing. They had the boys over a couple of times to spend the night.  Gabriel sat and watched the races with Michael. He became more curious and at the same time found a site on You Tube that both glorifies and  makes fun of Nascar. So every weekend we look up when and where the race is. He's made a master list to keep up with the drivers and their sponsors. Oh good grief.

Now, because Jojo worships the ground his brother walks on, he knows most of the drivers too.      Much of our dinner table talk revolves around the race. I'm being honest with them and stating that   it's just not one of my favorite sports. But I try to listen to Gabriel's excited chatter about where the race is, and sometimes even remember some facts about things that he is impressed by. I never thought any of it would come up ever again. But this is so different because it's my son. Who I love so much I will even subject myself to a forbidden subject if he seems to love it that much. And he  really does.  Time to learn those sponsors all over again.