So many changes

This is the puppy I write about below. She's already found a home and a name: Chloe.

I'm trying to keep this blog going because changes are happening so fast around our house I forget things VERY quickly.

We moved Gabriel's bed into the playroom Sunday and he seems ok with sleeping in there until Joel gets a little older and less loud. Joel is a VERY loud crier and we were convinced that Gabriel would be bothered during late or overnight feedings and diaper changes. Joel seems to be adjusting pretty well to his crib from the bassinet. I checked on both of them several times Sunday night but graduated to only once last night. I still hope to have them in one room eventually, even though it's nice for them to each have their own space. But that means we lose our office/future spare room.

Gabriel has hit some kind of developmental phase. All of a sudden he can put on his shoes and socks, pull up his pants, zip up his coat and all sorts of things he couldn't (or didn't have the confidence for) a month ago. We are also making small headway with potty training. We have him sitting in there with no diaper on 5 or 6 times a day whereas before he refused to take his diaper off. We're hoping the idea of actually going in the potty chair will kick in eventually. All of this was thanks to the enticement of truck stickers that he gets to put on a poster every time he sits. His speech has all of a sudden gotten so much better. He is pronouncing everything clearly and slowly and we don't ever have trouble understanding him now. We've decided against more therapy for now.

As hard as parenting is, it is the only thing I've ever done in my life that gives me a sense that what I do every day really matters. When Gabriel looks up at me with a huge smile on his face and says, "I did it, Mama" after pulling up his pants by himself, it makes me feel so proud and happy I could burst. No job has ever or will ever give me such a sense of accomplishment. It's the reason I find the energy to get up and do it all again the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. It's something I strive to be not just good at, but great at. If someone were to start giving grades for parenting, I would want exemplary marks.

But I digress. Joel is starting to reach out for everything we put in front of him, and can grab all kinds of things. The hardest thing I'm dealing with now with him is tummy time. I basically didn't think to put him on his tummy for the first two months of his life, and so we've been having five minute tummy time sessions to get his neck and back strong enough to hold up that ginormous head of his. He HATES tummy time. If we make if five minutes twice a day, that's a pretty good day. But it's helping because he can now hold his head at 45 degrees for a minute or so.

We are all having allergy issues. I took the boys outside yesterday afternoon for an hour, and all three of us have sneezy, runny noses this morning. Jav was already having trouble. But I refuse to stay inside because of it. We will fight through spring! I'm going to start my second antibiotic to get rid of yet another sinus infection. I'm also going to call an EENT specialist to see if I qualify for sinus laser surgery.

I survived my first time with Jav away last week. He had a work trip for two nights in Houston, and we came out of it pretty well. The trick is to give the boys their baths before dinner. After dinner Gabriel is hyper and Joel is just a cranky mess. The hardest thing was trying to get Gabriel to bed peacefully even though Joel was screaming here and there. We were all very happy to see Daddy/Jav when he got back!

And we have been tempted by a ridiculously cute Rottweiler puppy even though to take on a puppy right now would be certifiably crazy. This little female puppy wandered into my neighbor's yard Sunday and he's trying to either find the owner or someone who wants her. She is very calm and could possibly be full-blooded. I wish I had never seen her, not just because of the cute factor and guilt if he gives up and takes her to a shelter, but because I think she is exactly what we would be looking for once Molly can't be a good guard dog anymore. But Molly has a few good years left, we hope, and I just don't have any more energy to devote to dealing with, walking, and training a puppy right now. Plus Bones would probably kill us all in our beds if we brought any more new beings into our house for awhile!

Stores

Gabriel thinks you can get everything from a store, but he thinks more specifically than we do about these things. The Halloween Scary Guy Store was the first in a long line of funny store titles he has come up with, including the Battery Store when his toys needed new batteries and the Birthday Cake Store for family parties. But the funniest one yet came this past week when we realized he had outgrown one of his shirts and couldn't get it over his head. He said, "Mama, we need to go to The Hole Store for a bigger hole." Makes perfect sense to me.

Hazy shade of winter

I'm still in a fog from lack of sleep, spending all day indoors due to weather, and dealing with two kids all day and evening long. I told my brother it's like hibernating in a baby cave, where you are isolated from normal people and news events for awhile. We had a rare nice afternoon this week and going outside for an hour makes all the difference in the world, probably not just for me but for Gabriel too.

Joel is such a good baby in many ways, but he is a difficult nurser. He likes to eat totally on his own terms, and that means after about 8 to 10 minutes, he's through. In the mornings he will go two hours or more without wanting any more. In the late afternoon/evenings he usually eats for a longer stretch, but only makes it about an hour to an hour and a half before wanting more. But then he sleeps at least 5 hours through at night, which I cannot complain about AT ALL. One night this week he went 7-1/2 hours. Of course, I got up thinking he would wake up at any moment instead of sleeping in with him. I do get a little tired of nursing him so often in the evenings. It basically means I can't play with Gabriel in the afternoons and Jav is pretty much in charge of Gabriel until bedtime. If I can get Joel to sleep before Gabriel goes to bed, I can at least go in and read and sing to him before it's lights out for him.

I feel like my lack of attention to Gabriel has taken a small toll. He has been hitting lately. He's only hit Jav and me a couple of times, and the stern talks and time-outs that he received seems to have had some affect on him. But I see him hitting his stuffed animals, slamming his hand into the floor or walls, and I believe it's because of aggressive feelings about the baby. At least he is bright enough to know to never take it out on Joel, but I still would never leave them alone together just in case. I don't think Gabriel has a sense yet of what "hurting someone" actually means. This is really tough for me to see. I have been much better about taking the small stolen moments when Joel is sleeping to try and play with Gabriel, but half the time he doesn't want to play with me, like he's already given up on me. And I am truly trying to not lose patience with him, even when he squares off and says, "NO!" when I ask him to do something. Which he does all day long, especially if Joel is crying or I am nursing Joel because he knows it's difficult for me to get up and make him. I noticed that I was doing much more yelling from the couch trying to get him to mind, which isn't a good thing to do either. My goal for Lent is to stop yelling so much at everyone, especially Gabriel and Molly, and then to stick with it after Lent is over. I think this is much more productive than giving up sweets.

And speaking of Molly, our poor pets are pretty neglected these days too. They live for all of us to go in the backyard and play. That's when they are all at their happiest. But this cruel winter has not allowed for that very often, and with all the Joel/Gabriel attention it's left them a little lost. I manage to walk Molly once a week, but will be doing that more with Joel once it warms up. Jav tries to walk her another two nights a week, which helps keep her arthritis at bay. Zoe seems to tolerate anything we throw at her, but it makes me feel so guilty to see how excited she gets when it's time for me to brush her for two minutes before I go to bed every night. All of that happiness for only two minutes of attention? Bones is the only pet who has shown some aggressive behavior, but luckily, like Gabriel, knows better than to take it out on the baby. He takes it out on either Zoe or my favorite red chair in the living room. He'll walk around the house meowing for someone to pay attention to him for a half hour, then he starts to snap and run around the house making that weird "Cat on Attack" noise.

I know all of this will get better. Joel is getting sitting in the swing for longer periods of time, and is starting to enjoy time on the activity mat. And no matter how hard the day is, I always remember two things in the back of my head. One is that I'm so thankful for these two kids that even though it's hard I can't imagine my life without them now. And two is that they stay little for such a SHORT amount of time, and I need to relax and enjoy it while it lasts.

Snow days

Unbelievable! But pretty cool to have happened in our lifetimes. We are supposed to get more snow early next week. Do I still live in Texas?

One of my most embarrassing moments in life, ever,...

...was picking out this butternut squash and putting it in my grocery cart. It was in a big pile and they were all shaped pretty much like this one. And that's really all I need to say about that.

Driving on ice, then and now

Yesterday we already had several inches of snow on the ground when we woke up. This never happens in Texas, unless it snowed the day before. I was not too happy about this, because I signed up to bring snacks to Gabriel's Valentine's party at MDO. But I was mainly upset because I didn't want to get Joel out in the snow, not because of the possibly slippery drive. Because, you see, I LOVE to drive on ice.

At least I used to.

We think this trait was inherited from my grandfather, who used to load up my Mom and uncle in the car anytime it sleeted just to drive around on it. After getting stuck on a hill and almost not making it home one icy night about 20 years ago, my Dad showed me how to downshift using my gears (even in my automatic transmission car), so that I would barely have to tap the brakes to stop. Ever since then I can't wait to get out there. I used to make everybody in my office angry because I would show up on time on snow days, and our boss would slightly rag on everybody else for getting there slowly (and probably safer, I might add) one by one. But that was all before I had kids.

When my children are in the car, I discovered that I felt like I had a huge target on the side of my vehicle. Everyone else was the enemy who might slide into us. As I inched my way on the iciest streets I'd ever driven on yesterday, I wondered if it was worth it just to deliver my 18 frosted Valentine's cookies (store bought, of course.) I was silently cursing the HEB school district for not realizing how dangerous it was out here and insisting on having classes yesterday. My Mom had suggested just dropping off the cookies and then taking Gabriel back home, thereby saving us the hassle and danger of getting out again to pick him up. So halfway there, I was explaining to him why he couldn't stay for the party, when I realized that I had left the damn cookies at home. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!!! I immediately pulled over and called to tell them that I had made it part of the way, but it was just too icy and I was going back home, and please apologize for me for ruining their party. I failed to mention my forgetfulness.

So we got turned around to head back home. The roads were just getting worse and worse. I forgot to downshift at a four-way stop and slid halfway into the intersection. Then once we got to our neighborhood it was even worse. Instead of just icy patches, it was like driving on an entire sheet of glass. I almost didn't make it up the driveway, but finally was successful. When I pulled into the garage, I burst into tears of relief. Maybe when the kids are older, my strange gusto for slippery driving might come back. But until then, I'll be one of those people who never even attempts to even leave the house.

Pictures of our snow day to follow.

Preschool romance

Gabriel doesn't talk much about his preschool class. There are some really cute kids in his class that have been together now for two years, but he still doesn't seem to have bonded with any of them. I was chatting with another Mom on the way in to pick them up a few weeks ago. Her daughter, Olivia (who is even taller than Gabriel, who is really tall for a 3-year-old), was talking over the weekend about school, and mentioned Gabriel. Then she paused and said, "He's cute". Her Mom said that her husband almost died and couldn't believe he was already hearing those words coming out of his daughter's mouth about a boy.

Tuesday when we were walking in, we saw Olivia and her Mom, and Gabriel said hi to Olivia. That was the first time he ever said hi to any of his classmates, even though I nag him to quite often. So Thursday when I get there to pick up Gabriel, the room is still really dark and it takes me a minute to focus. Gabriel was sound asleep on his mat, and Olivia was sitting next to him rubbing his back. I almost dropped Joel. When I got my composure back I told her that she what a really sweet girl she was. Gabriel woke up and was totally oblivious to the whole thing. Olivia handed me his shoes to put on him, then folded up his blanket and put it in his backpack for him. I told her she was a really good helper and made Gabriel tell her thank you, which he mumbled in his sleepy fog. We ran into her Mom on the way out, and I mentioned that Olivia was very sweet and helped us get our stuff together today. I didn't have the nerve to tell her about the back rubbing.

Kitchen zero to kitchen hero

I just finished watching "Worse Cooks in America" on The Food Network. It was a reality show in which two well-known chefs picked people who supposedly knew nothing about cooking (nominated by their friends and family) and put them on one of two teams for a 10-day immersion boot camp in the kitchen. The best candidates from each team made a three-course meal for three food critics. The winner they picked received $25,000. I was rooting for Jenny, a 21-year old waitress who decided during the course of the show that she wanted to be chef (everyone else on the show just wanted to go home and cook for their friends and family), but the girl on the other team beat her. I wasn't going to watch it, but I caught part of the 2nd episode and was immediately hooked. These people seemed real, and they REALLY didn't know anything about cooking. I think I was fascinated because I used to be one of them. It's kind of like how someone who lost lots of weight would be really into "The Biggest Loser".

But years of experience, reading cooking magazines and watching countless hours of The Food Network has greatly improved my skills. I think my best skill (this is making me think of Napoleon Dynamite) is putting foods together and knowing what flavors go well together. I'm pretty good at getting everything ready at the same time. One thing I still need some help with, though, is knife skills. I'm really sloppy, don't hold the knife right and cut myself pretty often. Central Market offers a class at least once a month on knife technique, but I think I'm too embarrassed and intimidated to take it. I've also never owned really good knives, which I'm sure would make a difference.

I've been able to make dinner most nights since Joel arrived, even though it's a real challenge. Joel has a tendency to eat very little in the morning, then he wants more and more as the day progresses. He eats at least once an hour from 5 until he goes to bed, around 8 or 9. I try to limit prep and cooking time to 30 minutes most nights. If I make something that takes longer, I have to get part of it ready earlier in the day, even on the weekend. Jav is also helping me by doing part of the cleaning up. He's told me we could do more take out, but I'm pretty stubborn about the cost and the not-so-healthy factors. Plus I want Gabriel (and later Joel) to experience simple, real flavors of food, (like how good and sweet a carrot can taste) and you just don't get that with take out. So I'll continue to work like crazy to put dinner on the table most nights, and hopefully continue to learn even more about cooking. One day I might even take that knife class.