I've noticed (maybe because of my addiction to The Food Network) that Thanksgiving seems to have become more about the food than about being thankful for the things in our lives. So I'm reflecting on the things, big and small, that I am thankful for today.
I'm more thankful than ever for my wonderful family, the fact that we are all happy and healthy, and of course for my newest little bundle of love.
I'm thankful for my friends. We may not see each other as often as we'd like in these busy times, but my life would be much less rich without them.
I'm thankful for my pets, for the things they teach me, the moments they make me laugh, and the feeling of comfort just having them around me.
I'm thankful for moments like yesterday on the back porch, swinging with Gabriel in my lap, watching the sun filter through the trees with an occasional leaf falling, and hearing the birds talk to each other.
I'm thankful for my home, for having heat on cold mornings, and for having plenty of food in our cabinets.
I'm thankful for good neighbors like George and Billie. They may be older, but they are definitely wiser than most people I know, and more forward thinking and cool than alot of younger people.
I'm thankful for having a sense of humor and for laughter, with its ability to instantly make you feel better.
I'm thankful for getting to be an aunt to two of the cutest and sweetest kids ever.
I'm thankful for all of my happy memories of Thanksgivings gone by, and for grandparents who, although they are very missed now, left me with so many thoughts, stories and traditions to carry on.
I'm thankful for friendly people, like the woman in line behind me at Walmart yesterday. She was so genuine in her wishes for me to have a happy holiday season. When she looked at Gabriel and said, "You must be feeling very blessed this year", she inspired me to make this list.
I'm thankful for my ever-patient, truly kind, and very loving husband. He gives my life more meaning than I ever thought possible.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Now EAT UP!!!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Bugs are cool
I love to walk my dogs. It's something I really missed doing when I got so big and pregnant and it was 115 outside. I started walking them again two weeks after Gabriel was born, but it wasn't as enjoyable as before, mainly because it felt like my bladder was going to fall out and I was afraid I would trip over it and hurt myself. But all of that's better now, and I'm starting to focus on nature again, which I believe is really what makes taking walks enjoyable. I try to listen to the birds singing and take note of everyone's yard to see any good landscaping ideas. I try not to think about things I need to do at home, or something cute Gabriel did the night before. The here and now is what it's all about.
I was walking Stanley yesterday, and noticed all of these little brownish moths. They were everywhere, and I don't remember seeing them before. I wondered if all moths and butterflies migrate like Monarchs. Then I noticed that the moths look just like falling leaves, and realized that's why they are out this time of year. Nature is really amazing if you just pay attention.
I was walking Stanley yesterday, and noticed all of these little brownish moths. They were everywhere, and I don't remember seeing them before. I wondered if all moths and butterflies migrate like Monarchs. Then I noticed that the moths look just like falling leaves, and realized that's why they are out this time of year. Nature is really amazing if you just pay attention.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Gushing over Gabriel
The range of emotions I've experienced over the past almost two months is too broad to go into detail. Having a child was something I wanted to do for 15 years or so, but it never seemed like it would be a reality (or a very smart thing to do) until I met and married Jav. You THINK you are prepared for what your life will be like. But nothing can prepare you for the weight of responsibility you suddenly feel, or for the realization that much of what you used to do doesn't seem very important anymore. Nothing can prepare you for the love you feel either.
I'm amazed to see the changes in Gabriel. It's a little daunting to see a little person's brain develop right before your very eyes. He is so alert and seems to want to take in as much as his senses will let him. He doesn't want to take naps during the day and fights going to sleep like crazy. If he does get to sleep he usually only sleeps for 10 to 15 minutes, then his eyes pop open and he starts looking around like "what did I miss?"
Our hardest time of the day is from 5 to 8pm. I try to start providing a calming environment to start winding down the day - no loud TV or music, no more bright lights, no more toys or activity mat playing. But it's hard to fill that much time. I've started walking him around the backyard, which he seems to really like. And he loves laying on his changing table and showing off for me that he can move his arms and legs, so I've started reading to him after I've changed his diaper and into his sleeper for the night. First I just read from the requisite "Baby's Bedtime Book", but now I've started reading poetry from my favorite poets too. He still is intent on stretching all those newfound muscles, but I like to think that he's hearing some of it. Then I rock him and sing him some of my favorite music - all soothing voices, in my opinion. Steeley Dan, Shawn Colvin, Sting, Indigo Girls. Not really conventional lullabies, but just as effective because I know and love the songs so much. And even when the quiet times are over and the crying has begun, I'm learning how to deal with it. I have a feeling of achievement like climbing Mount Everest when I have rocked him to sleep and put him down for the night.
I watch him sleeping during the day sometimes, and wonder how he can laugh in his sleep when he hasn't actually laughed while awake yet. I love talking back to him in his baby language.
My favorite time is watching him wake up in the morning. He usually focuses first on the light coming through our bedroom window, then checks the ceiling fan, and eventually gets around to seeing me and the biggest grin erupts on his face. That is pure happiness in a bottle for me.
I worry about him picking up on my bad traits or somehow messing him up. I already want the world for him - but at the same time try to remind myself that I just want him to be happy.
We went to Mass for the first time yesterday since the Saturday before I had him. I was kneeling and thinking about how big I was with him last time I was there, and I thought about how much more important, rich, fun and wonderful my life had become - and I started to cry. I'm so incredibly thankful to God for bringing him into our lives.
I'm amazed to see the changes in Gabriel. It's a little daunting to see a little person's brain develop right before your very eyes. He is so alert and seems to want to take in as much as his senses will let him. He doesn't want to take naps during the day and fights going to sleep like crazy. If he does get to sleep he usually only sleeps for 10 to 15 minutes, then his eyes pop open and he starts looking around like "what did I miss?"
Our hardest time of the day is from 5 to 8pm. I try to start providing a calming environment to start winding down the day - no loud TV or music, no more bright lights, no more toys or activity mat playing. But it's hard to fill that much time. I've started walking him around the backyard, which he seems to really like. And he loves laying on his changing table and showing off for me that he can move his arms and legs, so I've started reading to him after I've changed his diaper and into his sleeper for the night. First I just read from the requisite "Baby's Bedtime Book", but now I've started reading poetry from my favorite poets too. He still is intent on stretching all those newfound muscles, but I like to think that he's hearing some of it. Then I rock him and sing him some of my favorite music - all soothing voices, in my opinion. Steeley Dan, Shawn Colvin, Sting, Indigo Girls. Not really conventional lullabies, but just as effective because I know and love the songs so much. And even when the quiet times are over and the crying has begun, I'm learning how to deal with it. I have a feeling of achievement like climbing Mount Everest when I have rocked him to sleep and put him down for the night.
I watch him sleeping during the day sometimes, and wonder how he can laugh in his sleep when he hasn't actually laughed while awake yet. I love talking back to him in his baby language.
My favorite time is watching him wake up in the morning. He usually focuses first on the light coming through our bedroom window, then checks the ceiling fan, and eventually gets around to seeing me and the biggest grin erupts on his face. That is pure happiness in a bottle for me.
I worry about him picking up on my bad traits or somehow messing him up. I already want the world for him - but at the same time try to remind myself that I just want him to be happy.
We went to Mass for the first time yesterday since the Saturday before I had him. I was kneeling and thinking about how big I was with him last time I was there, and I thought about how much more important, rich, fun and wonderful my life had become - and I started to cry. I'm so incredibly thankful to God for bringing him into our lives.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Post Partum Pontificating
Now that it's been six weeks since I gave birth, I have some observations. This is not about the wonderful little chunklet that is starting to develop his own personality and laugh alot. This is about me.
I am having trouble accepting the fact that I am no longer "eating for two". I gained 42 pounds while pregnant, and lost all but 15 in the first two weeks after giving birth. I thought, "Wow, that was easy!" I had managed to get it down to 12, but now I've gained it back. I wonder if it's because I still am eating GIGANTIC bowls of ice cream before finally taking my two hour nap at night while Jav watches Gabriel. Or because I have The Food Network on most of the time, and as a result am hungry and snack all day, usually on something made out of chocolate. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted while pregnant. It's time to have a sweet-tooth reality check.
Pregnancy does some awful things to your body. I don't have stretch marks, but I have a new and wide variety of varicose veins. My hips have widened so much that I doubt I'll ever get back into my old jeans. And I won't go into all of the issues I'm having due to the birth itself. Suffice it to say that my pee used to come out going straight down, and now it doesn't. But... all of it doesn't matter one iota when I look at the result. And I hope to put my body through it again, probably sooner than it's ready for me to.
One of the hardest and most emotional things I've ever gone through is my attempt at breastfeeding. I guess I didn't start reading about it soon enough (I waited until I had about a month to go), and I underestimated two things. 1) I thought it would be easy, and 2) I didn't realize the deep feeling of closeness it would give me. I am heartbroken that it didn't work out, and am having much more depression about it than I did about not being pregnant anymore. I'm less upset about not being able to provide Gabriel with all of the benefits healthwise, although that figures into it. It's more about the bonding during those moments when you are providing milk for your child, as nature intended it to be.
It's amazing what you can accomplish while being completely sleep-deprived. I guess it's Mom Adrenaline. You have this mad determination to get things accomplished, even though you probably won't get anything at all done. My friend Olga noticed this when I went to get my haircut. She said I was scaring her with that determination, talking too loud and walking too fast. But it's just a survival instinct that kicks in.
Having six pets and one child is like having two children, one of which is bad most of the time.
Well, the baby's up and hungry. I'll post pictures next time and talk more about him, and hopefully it will be sooner than six weeks.
I am having trouble accepting the fact that I am no longer "eating for two". I gained 42 pounds while pregnant, and lost all but 15 in the first two weeks after giving birth. I thought, "Wow, that was easy!" I had managed to get it down to 12, but now I've gained it back. I wonder if it's because I still am eating GIGANTIC bowls of ice cream before finally taking my two hour nap at night while Jav watches Gabriel. Or because I have The Food Network on most of the time, and as a result am hungry and snack all day, usually on something made out of chocolate. I pretty much ate whatever I wanted while pregnant. It's time to have a sweet-tooth reality check.
Pregnancy does some awful things to your body. I don't have stretch marks, but I have a new and wide variety of varicose veins. My hips have widened so much that I doubt I'll ever get back into my old jeans. And I won't go into all of the issues I'm having due to the birth itself. Suffice it to say that my pee used to come out going straight down, and now it doesn't. But... all of it doesn't matter one iota when I look at the result. And I hope to put my body through it again, probably sooner than it's ready for me to.
One of the hardest and most emotional things I've ever gone through is my attempt at breastfeeding. I guess I didn't start reading about it soon enough (I waited until I had about a month to go), and I underestimated two things. 1) I thought it would be easy, and 2) I didn't realize the deep feeling of closeness it would give me. I am heartbroken that it didn't work out, and am having much more depression about it than I did about not being pregnant anymore. I'm less upset about not being able to provide Gabriel with all of the benefits healthwise, although that figures into it. It's more about the bonding during those moments when you are providing milk for your child, as nature intended it to be.
It's amazing what you can accomplish while being completely sleep-deprived. I guess it's Mom Adrenaline. You have this mad determination to get things accomplished, even though you probably won't get anything at all done. My friend Olga noticed this when I went to get my haircut. She said I was scaring her with that determination, talking too loud and walking too fast. But it's just a survival instinct that kicks in.
Having six pets and one child is like having two children, one of which is bad most of the time.
Well, the baby's up and hungry. I'll post pictures next time and talk more about him, and hopefully it will be sooner than six weeks.
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