Our little musical prodigy

I have to post something a little more uplifting today.  I've already talked about Gabriel and his love for music.  Well, he has been blowing us away the past few weeks as we watch him.  He has a CD player in his room, and for awhile I was switching out some of our more mellow CDs to try out on him to see if they caught on.  But he never really seemed into them so I stopped.  The CD that was left in the player is a homemade one with all sorts of songs that I used to play right before we put him to bed when he was smaller.  

Well, one day recently he decided to start listening to it.  We noticed that after dinner he'd go into his room and turn it on, and listen to each song as long as it was just instruments playing.  As soon as the singer or singers started in he'd fast forward to the next song.  Then he started listening to each song a little longer, but we still didn't notice how intently he was listening.  One day Jav noticed that during a Guess Who song he would step off of his puzzle box (which he stands on to reach the controls on the CD player), and walk over to his diaper pail to play the drums at certain times in the song.  Well, this little drum break happens about 4 times in the song, and each time he walks over to the diaper pail and plays along.  We realized the kid is REALLY listening to these songs, and started paying more attention.

He plays imaginary piano along with with Eagles (the slow chords that open up The Sad Cafe), and Van Morrison (the trilly part that opens Caravan) on top of his bookcase.  He sings the word "Love" with Bonnie Raitt every time she sings it in one of her very early songs, Cry Like a Rainstorm, Howl Like the Wind.  We haven't showed him or pointed out to him any of this, he figured it out all on his own.  He picks out these teeny parts of a song, decided he likes it and listens to it over and over.   

He had always strummed on my guitar on its stand in the living room when he walked by, but now he is playing loud and then soft, faster and slower, and singing along with his playing.  Luis on Sesame Street was playing guitar and singing the other day, and he ran over to it and started playing and humming with the TV.  I know I am being an annoying, gushing parent, but I just wonder if many two-year-olds are paying this much attention to music. 

When I told my Mom all of this, and mentioned that maybe we need to get him into a music class, she showed her true Mom wisdom and said he probably wouldn't like that much structure, and we just need to keep surrounding him with music like we've been doing from day one.    So I changed the CD in his room, and am trying to just let him discover this new one like he did the first one.  We also have Jav's parents searching for his sister's toy piano that they have in their attic.  We'll just give it to him for Christmas and see what he comes up with.   I'm sure it will be something that dazzles us!

A different Thanksgiving post

I haven't posted for awhile.  I have not had any energy for the last two weeks.  About a month ago, I found out I was pregnant, and without going into any detail, now I'm not.  This is the fourth time this has happened to me (I should say to us, because this is hard on Jav too).  You would think I would be used to it, but you never get used to this.  Along with taking most of my physical strength each day (I've been so tired and queasy I've barely been able to function), the last few weeks have taken a huge emotional toll.  

I tried really hard to not think or be excited about the future with this one, but I couldn't help but have these little fleeting thoughts about Gabriel finally having someone to play with around the house besides Mama and Dada, or thinking about what it would be like to juggle two kids at the grocery store, or considering both male and female names, even though I didn't want to find out what the sex was until the birth.  Mostly I allowed myself to be relieved that I was going to be able to have my second child before I turned 42, which seemed like a good age to stop trying.  

I never thought I'd get to have kids, but then I met Jav and my hopes and dreams started slowly brewing.  We were both pushing the age limit even back then.  After two unsuccessful pregnancies, we had our little miracle.  And we are figuring out after each time this happens that he truly is a miracle.  Because we are older parents, we felt it was important for Gabriel to have a sibling to help him get through this crazy thing called life after we're gone.   I know that he has cousins, but that really isn't the same thing.  So we decided to keep trying, and even after our loss last year, we kept on.  I have been either trying to get pregnant, actually pregnant, or recovering from a pregnancy loss for the last four years.  

Now, however, I am wondering if we should stop.  I'm truly concerned that if I do get pregnant again we might bring a child into the world with physical or mental problems, and that would be leaving a burden to Gabriel after we're gone.  Not what we intended at all.   Maybe now we just need to instill in him the skills he needs to get by on his own, and let him know how important it is to have good friends for support.  (Something we would have done even if he had a sibling).  We've briefly talked about adoption, and still could go that direction.  Right now it isn't really what we want to do, but maybe we'll talk some more.

And to be honest, this wasn't all about Gabriel.  After realizing how amazing it is to hold your own child as a little helpless baby, and get to know his face and his smell and his funny personality, I long for the chance to do it one more time.  This feels a little greedy of me, considering how many women never get the chance to do what I've done even once.  But I think it's also natural, and I can't help it.  Perhaps it's time for us to mourn our losses, accept our situation, be thankful for our many blessings, and try to move on.  It's going to be a rough road, but what better time of year than Thanksgiving to try to start our new journey?

And I say a special prayer for any woman who has suffered this loss, and for any couple trying to conceive, that they eventually find happiness and peace.  

Beach trip pictures

Bon Voyage

Our wonderful friends are leaving for New Jersey tomorrow.  I've been pretty upset about it, so much so that I just kept putting it out of my head because otherwise it makes me too sad.  But I understand why they are going, and think and hope they will have a great adventure in a totally new state, with new friends and MUCH better weather.  There is something appealing to me about picking up and completely starting over somewhere else, probably because I've never done it.  

Julie and I have been through alot in the +20 (yikes) years that we've known each other.   I won't go into details, but it's so wonderful that both of us have found really happy places in our lives.  It's not like we have a "talk on the phone every day" kind of friendship.  It's more of an "email alot, and see each other during baseball season" kind of a thing.  And that's what I will miss the most, our Ranger games.  It's so relaxing, even therapeutic, to sit for 2 to 3 hours watching a sport you love with someone you've known so long, and getting caught up with each others lives, and laughing about old and new times.  

I'll also miss Grace's birthday party, which has become an annual big event on our calendar.  She is just getting to the age when I feel like we could become good friends.  I want to keep a bond going somehow with Godmother pen pal letters, and hopefully getting to see her when they come back in town to visit.    I know Gabriel's going to miss Alex and Grace too.  They were the first kids he ever really played with, and considers them honorary cousins.  And we'll all miss our annual trip to Cafe Madrid during Running with the Bulls weekend.  

I hope to visit them somehow, although it would be easier it they were within driving distance.  Plane ticket costs are probably going nowhere but up, and with these crazy economic times it's hard to imagine being able to squeeze that much out of our budget.  But I'll hope for some kind of miracle.  Because I'm not going to let a little thing like 1500 miles mess up a great friendship.

I hope you guys have a safe trip up, and get settled in to your new adventure very quickly.  And I can't wait to see you when you come in for the holidays!  

I am the Count - ha ha ha ha. One....Two....Three!

This picture cracks me up!

How humiliating for the Count to have to ride in his carseat, instead of swooping across the countryside like a bat!

Well, I'm not sure how much Gabriel enjoyed himself (other than getting to eat M&M's, his new favorite discovery), but his parents, grandparents, Tia Sandy and a few neighbors really had fun.  I didn't want him to look like just any old vampire, so I had glued numbers underneath his bow tie and on the back of his cape.  They had almost all fallen off by the time we made it back home.  He wouldn't sit still for the face makeup and almost went as an Indian count with a large dot between his eyes.  And when he saw himself in the mirror, he freaked out a little bit.  But he now loves looking at the pictures of himself.  And of course, he wouldn't do the laugh for anyone all evening.  I'm looking forward to next year when he can be more involved in deciding what to be and understand what's going on a little more, but I guess we did pretty well this year.