Memory loss

As I watch Joel get bigger and start to become more aware of his surroundings and all of us, I am flabbergasted at how little I remember when Gabriel was this age. I remember that he cried much more than we ever thought possible. I remember that it was really hard to get him to go to sleep. But I don't remember his smiles or giggles, or little noises like he wanted to talk to us. I had to go back and read my posts about Gabriel to help give my memory a little jolt. I fear the same thing will happen with Joel and in a few years I won't remember any of this. And to make matters worse, I find I am much lazier (or just busier?) about taking pictures and video with Joel.

There are already so many differences between the boys. Joel is a talker already. The minute he sees one of our faces, he starts making his little baby talk to us. Poor Gabriel, being the firstborn, had a Mommy that didn't realize I was supposed to be talking to him, and I partially blame myself for some of his speech issues now. On the other hand, I realize now how lucky we were with Gabriel in that we didn't have to take him to the doctor for illness until he was over a year old. I never called or was concerned or anything. I think by the time Joel was a month old we had called 10 times about various things, sometimes in the middle of the night. But many of those calls had to do with me taking meds to get over my cough and were they safe to take while nursing. And although Joel doesn't cry near as much as Gabriel did, when he cries he is much louder than Gabriel every was. It was a production followed by prayers to get Gabriel to sleep for the first three months or so. Joel falls asleep so easily that I can't rouse him for his last feeding some nights. Personality-wise, I think Gabriel takes after me. He's impulsive, he doesn't like to sit still and can be a bit manic sometimes. I believe Joel will be more like Jav, calm and laid back. Gabriel is my Speedy Gonzales and Joel is my Slowpoke Rodriquez.

We all attended Mass last Saturday for the first time since (I'm embarrassed to say it) September. We had been so nervous about taking both boys, but it went so well. Joel was awake for the first half, then got fussy so I found an empty room and fed him. He slept through the rest of the service. Gabriel was so good we wondered if elves had kidnapped our child and replaced him with someone who actually minds us. He even picked up the hymnal and tried to sing every time there was a hymn. It felt really good to go, and I got all emotional thinking about these two gifts God has given us. When we were walking out Father Paul wanted to see Joel and when he found out how much he had weighed at birth he literally shouted, "Holy Mother!" Jav and I found this hysterical. We were happy to find out that our friends that we sit behind had their second boy (their first is a year younger than Gabriel) last Wednesday. What is the deal with people having boys? Not one person that's been pregnant lately has had a girl, and all the babies born in the hospital the night Joel was born were boys.

I must try to make a commitment to myself to drag out the camera and the video camera every day. I don't want these sweet days to fly by without some documentation.