The crazy never really stops, does it?

When we first had Gabriel, we were too overwhelmed with exhaustion and the stress of being new parents to really stop and think about how much faster and busier our lives got. Then after Joel, same thing. You're sleep deprived and you just go through the motions of what you have to do in that fog, although it was easier in the sense that we knew what it was like to have a baby the second time around.

For many years now, it seems we are so nonstop busy that we don't get to stop to catch our breaths. It also seems like life gets more stressful than I can handle sometimes. Up to about six months ago (right around when Joel turned one), I would always say, "All of this will get easier and we'll have more time to do nothing." Well, now I am starting to realize that the busy never really goes away when you have children. And the really stressful times come so often that I think it's dawning on me that this is just my life now. I need to get a grip on the fact that a) we have lots of family here, so always will be busy with them, b) having older pets is going to be hard and expensive, and maybe even sad sometimes c) the kids are going to continue to get sick alot when they are little and d) we live in an old house that will constantly have things breaking down and needing to be fixed.

In other words, maybe the problem is me, and that I'm just not dealing with the stress very well.

Take, for example, the past week. Last Thursday and Friday I cleaned house like a mad woman because I had not done so in a very long time. My side of the family came for our annual Easter Egg Hunt and lunch on Saturday. It was great fun, but we were wiped out afterwards. Sunday we had Mass at 9 am and then changed clothes for a picnic and afternoon at Randol Mill Park with Jav's family. Once again, loads of fun, but completely exhausted afterwards.

Tuesday night I realized that Zoe had not eaten or drank anything since the night before and was not coming out from underneath the bed. Jav was supposed to fly out of town for one night Wednesday morning, and dropped her off at the vet on the way to the airport. The vet is pretty sure she had a bladder infection. This meant that Wednesday night, along with getting the boys fed, bathed and put to bed by myself (really not a problem anymore), I was trying to make sure Zoe ate her food with the antibiotic stirred in and was trying to keep track of whether or not she drank any water and used the litter box.

Thursday afternoon Gabriel got hit with a stomach virus, but luckily it passed through him really quickly and he seemed over that part by bedtime. But now he's coming down with a cold. Jav and I were supposed to go see a movie and go out to eat for our anniversary tomorrow, but we've cancelled with the grandma babysitters and will try again either Sunday or who knows when since Mother's Day is right around the corner. Oh, and did I mention that I'm hosting my book club here on Wednesday night? After working that day?

It still sounds awfully crazy to me. But I now realize that there are millions of families with kids and lots of family and pets who are going through the same types of weeks, maybe even busier with baseball practices and games, and homework, and whatever else that we haven't even started yet. I know how lucky we are to have these boys, to have our family close and to have so many good friends that we are busy all the time. Sometimes I just wish we could say "NO" to a few more things so that we could stop and take a breath, chill out, lay in the hammock, read a book, putter in the yard, browse in a bookstore, watch an entire movie, lollygag and loll about. Sleep.

I know you're thinking, "You need a vacation!" So true, but sadly probably not an option for us this year. Or maybe you're thinking, "Just chill out and get a grip. And quit whining!" Which is probably what I would think if I read this and somebody else wrote it.