Lent. I finally get it.

I have shared my confusion about Lent on this blog before.  I always found it kind of silly to see people give up cokes or dessert for six weeks, in a strange effort to emulate the suffering of Jesus on the cross.  And don't get me started on the "no meat on Fridays" thing.  As I watched people pigging out on the wonderful meal at the Knights of Columbus Fish Fry we finally made it to this year, I did not see anything resembling fasting.

But, I did feel the fellowship of getting together with many other families and members of our parish to share a meal.

I also understand now that the fasting has another facet:  What would it be like to suffer hunger as a poor person?  This one hit me really hard this year.  I have been trying to do something I've never done before in my life:  only eat when I get hungry.  I've realized that I am a compulsive eater.  I eat more out of habit than I do because of hunger.  I sometimes would eat so that I wouldn't get hungry later.  What kind of sense does that make?  I have stopped eating so much between meals, and I've cut down on the size of my regular meals.  I fasted a little for the first time on Ash Wednesday.  I can't do full-blown fasting because I have low blood sugar and you will find me in a crumpled heap on the ground if I go more than about 6 or 7 hours without eating.  But I wanted to feel hunger.  I wanted to experience what someone feels when they don't know where their next meal is coming from.

And as a family, I'm trying to get by with less food each week.  Jav and I (and Gabriel most of the time) have given up meat except for on Sundays.  I've been trying to use up ingredients that have been in the pantry awhile, like canned beans and tuna fish.  It's worked so well, and I've made such good but simple meals lately, that I think we may continue this even after Lent.

I told the boys that all through Lent I will not be buying them little gifts at the grocery store, like I usually do.  Instead, I've been using the $3 to $5 I would've spent on them to buy food for the canned food drive the 1st grade is having at Gabriel's school.  We've donated something every week.  Joel has been dropping pennies in the giant penny-drop jar that the 1st grade also placed in the foyer of the school.

And I am finally sorting out and bagging or boxing up Joel's outgrown clothes, crib sheets and blankets, and toys.  I've also been working on old things of mine I've been just throwing in the top of my closet for two years.  I also found FIVE boxes of boys clothes, sized from  3 to 18 months, up in the attic yesterday that I had forgotten about.  So I will have a nice big pile of things to take to Eastside Ministries soon.  I used to take things like this to Goodwill, but then decided that it would be more meaningful to donate things that will help out residents in the neighborhoods closest to us.  I will be taking both boys with me when I drop all of it off.

I hope all of this, along with what he's talked about at school, is giving Gabriel a sense of giving to those less fortunate. We have SO MUCH.  I think we've been doing a really good job trying to live on just a little less.  I'm very happy that the Lenten lightbulb finally went off.