The ethics of parenting

I have an acquaintance that I have not known long who mentioned in passing that she was "fascinated by Libertarians".  Based on her recent Facebook posts, I believe she may have moved herself right on into Full-Fledged Libertarianism since we had that conversation.  Along with some of the kooky (I think, at least), things she believes about government leadership, many of the articles and blogs she has posted on Facebook of late deal with how to raise your kids without grafting your own beliefs onto them.  In other words, parents should keep their own personal opinions on subjects to themselves, should let their kids figure stuff out, and develop their own ideas and opinions about things.

Well, I say the same thing to myself about this that I say when I read the kooky government posts:  good luck with all THAT!  Wouldn't it be worrisome that the morals and ethical beliefs they develop might come from school, friends, parents of freinds, pop culture, TV, or things they read online?  By God, it would be to me.  And don't we have the right, as parents, to explain the way we feel about certain things to our kids?  Isn't that just plain ole PARENTING in the truest sense of the word?

Let me get a little more specific.  I knew when I started to finally have kids that I would never be able to take them to the circus or rodeo.  The animals are held in captivity, in unnatural surroundings, and no matter how well the organization claims to treat them, I feel that forcing wild animals to perform for a human audience's entertainment is just wrong.

I have followed the good work of several animal organizations who allow former performing animals to "retire" to a life they were more naturally meant to lead.  The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee does not allow any contact between the public and the elephants living there, but they do have "Ele-cams" set up in various locations throughout the grounds, so that you can watch them playing with their toys or splashing in the pond.  The International Exoctic Animal Sanctuary in Boyd, TX takes in big cats, bears, and a few other types of animals.  Some of these were forced to perform for traveling circuses and flea markets.  Some just had to endure life as a side show, like the 11 bears IEAS recently won custody of from a closed down Bear Park in North Carolina, where they lived in concrete pits.  IEAS has behavioral specialists that work with their animals towards enrichment and rehabilitation.  They do allow planned tours of their grounds, but only small groups at a time, and no child younger than seven can visit.

The only reaction I had had to deal with so far was from other parents who were shocked that we do not let our kids experience these things.  They acted as if we were denying our kids some of the joys of childhood or something.  I have had so many negative reactions that recently when a coworker offered me six free tickets to the rodeos that are held every weekend in the Stockyards, I took them, even though they will not be used by us.  It was at this point I began to question whether or not it was right to keep my kids from these things based on my feelings and beliefs.

I knew I would have to face some challenging questions from Gabriel soon if he heard that one of his frends went to the circus or Stock Show.  Sure enough, the Shrine Circus recently rolled through Fort Worth and had billboards up and signs on bus stop benches.  He got really excited and asked if we could go, and I took my deep breath and tried my best to explain why we could not.  I told him about the Elephant Sanctuary, and that we need to start checking the Ele-cams.  I told him we would try to go to an animal-free circus, like Cirque De Soleil, some time in the near future.  He seemed to understand but be a little disappointed.  He always pointed out the signs when we passed them, and said a little wistfully, "The circus is still going on."  "Yes," I would answer, "and I hope you understand why we cannot go."

Then last week my friend Cathy posted on Facebook that she strongly suggested anyone who had ever been to SeaWorld watch the documentary that was airing on CNN that night, "Blackfish".  It uncovered the many accidents and near-death incidents there had been between orcas and the trainers at Sea World since the company started back in the 70's.  It also had interviews from former trainers about the fact that SeaWorld did not report these incidents to the public, or to newly-hired trainers.  There were marine biologists discussing how wrong it was to contain these huge animals in concrete pools, train them to perform, and expect them to stay aggression-free.  And how wrong it is to take the babies away from their moms at 4 months, when calves normally stay with their moms for two years in the wild.

I have been to SeaWorld three times, and had always thought about all of the good that SeaWorld has done for conservation while I was there.  This was not mentioned at all in the movie, which I initially thought was unfair.  No current employee of SeaWorld agreed to be interviewed for the film.  But the footage in the film speaks for itself.  I was shocked, horrified and saddened by what I saw and learned.  I came away realizing how similar the plight of the orcas is to the sad life of circus elephants, and was a little ashamed and dumbfounded that I had never made the connection before.  Orcas are beautiful creatures, and belong in open water.  Period.  Any attempt to contain them and make them perform is cruel and ultimately leads to tragedy.

So now we can mark "A trip to SeaWorld" off of our list of things we might do in the future.  And can you believe that the very day that "Blackfish" aired, Gabriel asked me when we were going back to SeaWorld?  (What a sense of humor you have, sometimes, God!)  I put off the real answer by telling him we could not afford a trip anytime soon.

Some might think we're hypocritical by taking them to the zoo and not these other places.  My reasoning behind that is that there is a big difference between seeing the animals in person, in all their majesty and greatness, compared to seeing them online or on paper.  If the boys see them in person, hopefully as they get older it will instill some sense of caring what happens to those animals in the wild.  Not that it doesn't upset me when I see ANY animal in captivity, but I've learned to harden myself at the zoo.

My husband, thankfully, is completely behind the decision.  He now has some very different opinions from the ones he had when we first met.  So I am beginning to feel a little more confident about our decision to avoid certain events.  The way I have to look at it is that I am teaching my children compassion for all of the earth's creatures from an early age, and how can that be a bad thing?