The little things can make such a big difference.

We lost our parish priest, Father Paul, over the summer when he was promoted to bigger and better things.  I have written about the nature of his wonderful-ness, especially his handling of the Friday morning school Masses.  He included the kids all throughout by asking questions and calling on different kids to answer.  He thanked the class who was in charge that week and had all of us applaud to show our appreciation.  He thanked everyone involved in Mass, musicians, choir, hospitality ministers, and taught the kids about respect.  He talked often about being sorry for things and asking for forgiveness.  He praised teachers and encouraged the students to thank them.  He told funny jokes.  He stressed the importance of being thankful for all of our blessings. When you walked out of a Friday morning Mass, your heart would be full of all of those wonderful things, and of the joy the kids had from feeling important, included and appreciated.  That joy would carry you for the rest of the day, sometimes even into the weekend.

His replacement, Father Eric, had some BIG shoes to fill.  But we all reserved hope that since Father Paul hand picked his own replacement, it would be someone special.  Well, the jury is still out.  Many people in the church office positions decided to leave as soon as Father Paul announced he was leaving.  I have been told that this is a normal turn of events when a new priest comes in.  It is such a time of transition anyway that people decide to retire or step down.  But several left a month or so after Father Eric took over.  His demeanor behind the altar does not seem to me to be a welcoming or friendly one.  It almost seems intimidating, like he is daring anyone to challenge his way of doing things.  He dressed down the choir and pianist about a mistake that was made in front of the entire congregation, which didn't seem very professional.  Jav went to a Parent meeting for First Communion participants and heard from the meeting leader that "no, we can't do it this way...yes I know that's how we've always done it before... but Father Eric has his own way of doing things and that is the end of it. We've asked and asked and he is not budging."  Hmmmmmm.

So imagine our happiness when we found out that Father Paul was coming to host Masses all of last weekend.  And to top it off, Gabriel's class was leading the Friday morning Mass.  There was an excited buzz that spread around the church when the kids saw Father Paul before Mass even started.  And soon we all were enveloped in his loving ways again.  He included the kids by asking questions of them all throughout Mass.  He would call on at least 10 kids to answer each question.  He thanked the 2nd graders not once, but three times and wanted us to applaud their fine work.  I don't know specifically what that kind of appreciation does to a 2nd grader, but it must give them confidence on some level.   We went to Mass again Saturday and that time got to say hello and hug him afterwards.  I couldn't even talk.  Fighting back tears, I just said that we really missed him and it was so, so good to see him.  I think I may try to get his address so I can write occasionally.

But his visit got me thinking about what his actions, no matter how small, do for those (and my) kids.  And I wondered why Father Eric wouldn't want to have that same impact on them.  He reads his homilies very quickly.  If he does happen to ask a question, it is meant to be rhetorical and he doesn't expect or want the kids to answer.  He gives the same homily for the Friday school Mass that he gives to all the Masses, not adjusting to really reach the kids.  Unfortunately he has never been around when Father Paul officiated a school Mass, so I have been praying that the wonderfulness of the school and its students will work some magic on him.  Or that the good people of our church will win him over and he will finally begin to listen to his flock and hopefully be happy to be here.

But this theory works also with teachers, principals, scout leaders or any other leader that has an impact on your kid.  Small efforts can go a long way in helping kids get through things.   And those efforts may even change their lives.