Mama bear

Gabriel and I went to a Young Chef's Academy class this morning. It was supposed to be a neighborhood Mom's group event, but the one other Mom and kid that were supposed to come didn't show up. The cost was $35.00 and Gabriel had been looking forward to it for weeks. I was a little apprehensive, just because he sometimes doesn't take to alot of structure well and he has a tendency to give up on stuff if he thinks it's too hard. But since he's going to school three days a week and the teachers haven't mentioned anything problems, I had a little hope that he might find it fun.

The place seemed really cool at first, with a brightly colored kitchen, and all the kids getting to wear aprons and sit on stools at a stainless steel counter. It became clear to me after the first 5 minutes or so, however, that neither The Chef nor his assistant (an EXTREMELY bored-looking high school girl) were very good with smaller kids. To make things worse, all the other kids in the class were regulars and had obviously been coming for awhile. The only exception was a small 3-year-old who had his older brother helping him out. I knew we would probably be in trouble when Bennett and his Mom still weren't there after 15 minutes. Gabriel kept looking at me through the glass (where the parents could stay and watch), and asking where Bennett was. Then he kept squiggling on his stool so much that it would end up too far away from the counter for him to reach anything, but no one noticed so I would run in and scoot him up. I told him that it didn't look like Bennett was coming, but that he was doing a great job - just keep listening to the chef. The problem was, the chef was kind of an idiot. I kept thinking how I could do so much better getting not just Gabriel, but all the kids engaged and excited about cooking.

They were making a quiche (another problem since Gabriel doesn't like eggs), and Gabriel tried to chop the onion and Swiss cheese with his really cool pizza cutter-type slicer. But most of it kept landing on the floor. Once again, no one noticed or tried to help him do it better until almost the whole onion was on the floor. Then it was his turn to crack the egg and try to put it in the bowl. The whole thing ended up on the counter. Although the chef tried to be nice and laugh it off, you could tell he was irritated. And of course, Gabriel could tell he was irritated and thought he had done something wrong.

All of a sudden I noticed he was rubbing his eyes, and for a second I thought the onion was bothering him. Then his bottom lip started to stick out like it has since he was a baby and about to cry. I went in and took him off to the side where no one could hear us and he managed to get out, "I want to go home" just before the tears started. I tried to tell him that they were almost done and he was going really well. I don't want him to be one of those kids that can't see anything through to the end if it's too hard (like I am). But he held his guns, and since I was inclined to agree with the shabby way they had run the class, I quietly took off his apron and hung it back on the peg. The Chef sort of smiled and mumbled, "Sorry," as we were walking out.

I wanted to punch him. And the bored girl who was supposed to be helping. They made my kid CRY. And have a terrible time at something he had looked forward to for weeks.

Once we got outside I gave him a big hug and we drove just up the street to Starbucks. We got Chai, warm milk and mini donuts, and it didn't take long before he looked like his happy little self again. My anger started to wane a bit, but not enough to complete forget. I sent an email tonight telling them how disappointed I was at the outcome. And a suggestion to hire people who know how to work with young kids if you are going to include them in your classes.

That Mama Bear instinct is a mighty powerful one.

Halcyon days

I love the word "halcyon". According to Greek mythology, "halcyon days" refers to the seven days of winter when no storms occur. Mary Chapin Carpenter has a song called "Jubilee" on one of her CDs (Stones in the Road, in case anyone is interested). I love, love, love this song, and the last line says, "When we look back and say, those were halcyon days, we're talking 'bout jubilee!" I have no idea what she's singing about, but I've interpreted that line in my own way using the last year of my life. My definition would be more like, "days when you have no stress and don't have to be rushed to do anything".

There is no doubt that having babies and toddlers around is hard work. It's the hardest work I've ever done, and I've never been so tired night after night when I finally fall into bed. And even though having Joel doubled the hard work, there has also been a sense of calm and well being that hit me sometime during the last year. The realization hit me that I have been blessed beyond belief. I've been able to stay home with these wonders and witness every change, every milestone reached, like Joel walking his first five or six steps down the hallway last Thursday. All the big stuff.

But it's the little stuff that I think I will remember. The stuff that a full-time working Mom might not have time for. The days of coming home from doctors appointments and driving by the duck pond on the way home, just to see if we can count how many ducks stayed instead of migrating (it turns out all of them). Driving Gabriel to see the middle school construction site so he could watch the diggers and cranes at work. Going the long way home from various places in order to swing past the fire station and maybe, just maybe, catch a glimpse of the fire trucks. Doing nothing in the backyard other than laying on a blanket and staring up at the sky through the trees. Then finally succumbing to Gabriel's begging and kicking the soccer ball up and down the yard with him, holding a gleeful Joel the whole time. Watching Joel take blocks and place them in various very important places around his room, like in his crib, in his nightstand drawer, and in the seat of the rocking chair. Hanging out after dinner to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Patty Cake". Going to the scary-guy store during Halloween just to see which scary guys were left. Playing tickle on the floor with both boys.

I started working two days a week last week and our dynamic changed. Maybe it was because I felt a need to rush more, and an urgency to get things done around the house on the days I don't work. I still drove past the duck pond, but felt like I missed out on many more of our special moments. I hope that we can get back into a rhythm where the moments don't escape me, but I don't have any illusions about the fact that it will never be quite as special as it was when I had ALL of my time to give to them.

When I look back to the last year, the year Joel turned one and Gabriel turned four, I will think to myself that those were indeed our halcyon days.

Christmas pics

Abner, the ultimate symbol of friendship, dolled up for the holidays. Julie, Audra and I bought him at The Christmas Store in Dallas in 1984. We grandfathered Jana in and started passing him around between us for a year each. My kids love him, but I don't let them play with him too much for fear they will break him beyond repair.

Pics taken at Chuy's in Dallas, after we had stuffed ourselves and were ready to power shop at Froggy's.

These are all from Christmas Eve, where we hosted Jav's family for the first time. We were a little sad that Jav's Dad decided he didn't feel well and couldn't join us. These pics are all a little dark because I had lots of candles and very few lights on.
Tia Sandie's boyfriend, Michael, entertaining Joel for me while I finished up dinner. They bonded immediately because they have the same haircut.

Gabriel helping his Tita open a present.

Do you see a theme here? We still are all suffering from Ranger fever! Joel's is a Michael Young shirt and mine is Elvis Andrus. Too cool!

Tia and Michael. Such a sweet couple!

Cool! A bike helmet!

Cool! A car!

The tired family pic after the festivities were over.

A VERY excited little boy on his way to bed to listen for Santa.

And Christmas morning finally arrives. This was the first year we invested in Christmas pajamas for Gabriel. Joel's is a hand-me-down, but it worked!

One of the things Gabriel really wanted was a cowbell. We need more cowbell!

Gabriel's big present from Santa. We searched and searched for the earplugs he must have left Mommy and Daddy, but sadly to no avail. Santa, what were you thinking?

This picture makes me think of the Christmas paper carnage scene in A Christmas Story. But instead of a zeppelin, Joel got a train.

Here's Gabriel and I watching A Christmas Story, a family tradition on Christmas Day.

Now fast forward two weeks to the celebration at my Mom and Dad's. My Mom got sick Christmas weekend, then Jav and I were sick New Year's. We were all a little frustrated, but then realized that it didn't matter when we got together. As long as we all were together!

Macy showing off her first tooth loss, EVER! She has a pretty Christmas dress on because she got sick and missed her Christmas concert at school and her Mom told her she could wear it to our party.

Gabriel and Uncle Dave, patiently (HA) waiting to open presents.

Philip, Cade and Macy passing out presents.

This picture makes me laugh because it looks like Philip is a priest.

And one final sad picture of Zoe wondering where all the ornaments went, just before we hauled her favorite toy out to the curb.

Welcome to 2011

In the past I've kept notes on little things that Gabriel did or said throughout the year to post at year-end. I did this for both kids for a few months, but didn't really keep it up. I think I've done a pretty good job documenting things as they happened. So instead, I will just give a snapshot of what everybody's up to as we close out one year and start another.

The holidays have been one big blur to Jav and I. Just after our fun cousin sleepover, I got sick. Then Jav got sick. We have the same thing - sinus infections and bronchitis. Big surprise! Gabriel also started coughing and had a bad runny nose all through Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. We were supposed to go to my Mom and Dad's Christmas Day, but she's been sick and we decided to postpone it a week. Because of Jav and I we now are postponing it another week. It really sucks, especially for Jav since he was sick the entire time he was off for Thanksgiving, and now the whole time he was off for Christmas. Poor guy! I can't seem to get well, or even better this time, and we think it may be because of the mountain cedar this year being REALLY bad. Now Joel either has a bad cold or bad allergies. Gabriel seemed to get better after Christmas, but is now coughing again. We have really had it with allergies, and are even starting to research where we could move one day to get away from these seasonal allergies that plague all of us now. I'm thinking Canada. But then I'd probably turn out to be allergic to snow!

Gabriel has matured into this little mini-teenager. I really don't recognize him any more. He loves to talk to people on the phone, and loves to keep Jav and I updated on every single thing he is doing or planning to do. He has elaborate conversations between matchbox cars, dinosaurs, Toy Story figures, or anything else he finds. He is VERY strong willed and has TV or playing his new drums taken away from him when he's not minding. Which is often. He and I are very alike and therefore find ourselves clashing. I have to really watch my temper and try to find patience when dealing with this smart, talking back, opinionated, know-it-all little guy.

BUT we had a great Mommy and Gabriel only morning this past week. We started out at the library, where he loves to go. Then I decided to hunt up and down Lancaster for Sword's Music, which was around when I was young. I thought I remembered seeing it a year or two ago, and sure enough, it's still there! One of the few buildings that hasn't been either boarded up or turned into a liquor or pawn shop. (How sad.) They sell all kinds of instruments and offer lessons, which I didn't know about. I had been promising to take Gabriel if it was still there, and he was SO excited to find out it was! We just hung out in there for about 45 minutes looking over and over again at all of the instruments. He wanted to try to play all of them, but I wouldn't let him touch anything, and many of the instruments were behind cases anyway. I found out they will give drum lessons to four-year olds, but when I told Gabriel about them he said he already knew how to play. I guess he's still a little young for lessons. Then we went to Taco Bueno for lunch. It was great, because he looked at me like he used to when he was smaller, like I was his hero instead of that mean person who is constantly riding him about something. By the afternoon all was back to normal and he was not liking me very much again. I know it's because I still spend most of my free time with Joel, and I don't sit and play with him for long periods of time like Daddy does. Sigh. But the thing I am most proud of about Gabriel right now is that he is such a loving, sweet older brother. He dotes on Joel. If he does feel jealousy towards him, he takes it out on me, never on his brother. It is so sweet to see the two of them playing together.

Joel is also maturing into toddlerville at a very rapid rate, although still not walking. He loves to just stand places for a long time, but then is content to drop and crawl to the next place he's after. Which is all the places he's not supposed to go, like the toilet, the big glass doors on our entertainment center, the pet water bowl, Gabriel's tiny cars, Molly's bed (while Molly is in it), etc... etc... You can't leave him alone for a minute. If I have to get ready to go somewhere or load up the car, I put him in his room and lock the storm door (the best and smartest thing we ever installed in this house), because it's virtually baby proof. The only thing that still might happen is a bad fall, which does occasionally. On grocery store days he's in there on and off all day. I HATE grocery store days these days. It takes us 2 hours at the store and then it's such a pain to put everything away when we get home. It usually takes me all day to get it done.

Anyway, Joel is verbalizing like crazy and has no shyness about letting you know when he's mad about something. He is so dang loud! But so dang cute. He loves for me to carry him around the house and look at our family pictures. He has this cute move where he'll swing his head way out to look at my face when it's a picture of he and I. Then he smiles and kicks his excited legs. Another cute thing he's doing now is from Jav's mom. She has "blown on" the lights with both boys. She blows in the direction of the light while turning it on and off. Then she tries to get them to blow by saying it in Spanish ("sopra le", which means "blow it" from the verb soplar -to blow). Gabriel would never actually blow, just be delighted that you could do it. Joel blows, though, especially when he's on the changing table and bored. The light goes on and off about 5 times during one diaper change, if I'm quick. And he still loves to put food in his hair, which makes for cheap entertainment during meal times.

Our pets are all sick of winter and of us being sick. We haven't been able to walk Molly (who will turn 9 in February) in two weeks, and I have lots of guilt about that. I figure the more we get her moving with her arthritis, the longer she's going to live. The cats are pouty about us not ever going outside lately. All the pets are at their happiest when me and the boys go out to play. They just love to hang out in the yard with us. So this is a tough time of year for them. Zoe (who is 9) continues to amaze us with her socialness, for lack of a better word. When Cade and Macy were over she was right in the middle of all of us, and actually let both of them pet her as long as I was there to supervise. Who is this friendly cat? But she's still Zoe, because Gabriel has gotten a scratch and and light bite from her recently. both of which were mostly Gabriel's fault. Bones is still Bones, and will turn 14 this year. If he's in the mood, he's a friendly guy. If not, watch out. He is still in great shape, jumping fences and prowling around, as long as it's not too cold outside. He loves to sleep at the end of Gabriel's bed on his soft Lightning McQueen blanket. He wants to spend his late nights/early mornings in the garage, and gets very bratty if he doesn't get to go. But when we have really cold nights, like last night (24 degree low), I try to wait until as late as possible, and he tears around the house doing his mad "Meow" and a combination hop and run. Then he starts stalking Zoe, something that is happening way too much now. They get into fights about once or twice a week.

That is a picture of our life at this moment. By tomorrow, it will be different!

Another new holiday tradition

I was determined this year to have my niece and nephew over to do some fun stuff for the holidays. Last year we had just had Joel, and the years before that Macy was too small to come. But now they are getting older so fast, and with Cade turning nine this year I wonder how many years I'll have left with him wanting to come hang out with us. So I planned an entire day and evening of fun and couldn't believe that we got it to happen on short notice.

The only problem was that it was the Tuesday before Christmas. You know, that time when you still have about a billion things to do and aren't quite sure how you're going to manage all of them? Well, I just didn't want that to stop this. Isn't hanging out with family what Christmas and the holidays are all about? Not getting stuff done.

We met them on the west side of town Tuesday morning so that I could switch cars with April. She drives a giant Durango, and we can't fit more than two car seats in our car. We headed back home amidst much excited talking. The kids played for awhile while Joel took a nap, then we had lunch. My plan was for my Mom to go to the zoo with all of us, since I was a little nervous about taking all four kids by myself. But my Mom got sick and had to bow out, so I asked if my dad, also knows as Poppy, would come. He agreed. Everyone was so excited about this zoo trip it was ridiculous! Even me!

We had such a good time. The weather cooperated a little too much and we found ourselves getting sweaty and hot in the sunnier places. Cade is old enough to help us with Macy and Gabriel, who held hands with each other or me the whole trip. My Dad and I took turns holding Joel up to see things, since one of the only flaws I find with the Ft. Worth zoo is that babies in strollers really can't see much. Everybody got to see their favorites, and we ended the day as we always do with the apes and monkeys. The gorillas were very accessible which made everyone happy. The last time we went I forgot to post about the second biggest male gorilla suddenly charging the glass and hitting it with all of his might, scattering the crowd and leaving us all really nervous and trying not to think about what happened at the Dallas zoo. Luckily that didn't happen this trip since Cade and Gabriel were literally inches from him sitting right next to the glass. He would look at them occasionally, but I'm trying to teach Gabriel to not stare right into their eyes because I think it's rude.

We all came home to have some much needed quiet time. But instead we headed to the back yard, because it was 85 degrees outside! Then Jav got home early, which was great because that meant we could go look at Christmas lights. We picked the Diamond Loch neighborhood over Interlochen, which I think takes too long and eventually becomes too much of a good thing. Diamond Loch is always really pretty, not too long and not too crowded. And our expectations were met. The kids all loved it. One of my neatest memories from the day will be driving back home from the lights, all of us (except Joel who had graciously fallen asleep minutes from the house), singing Feliz Navidad at the top of our lungs. It made me think of "A Christmas Story" when the Mom and kids are singing Jingle Bells together after picking out a Christmas tree.

Bedtime was a little chaotic, as we knew it would be. Joel got to bed just a little late, but everyone else was an hour later than usual. And then Cade kept trying to scare Macy, who is not used to sleeping away from home. She didn't really need help, because lots of things make her nervous, like the thought of one of our cats plodding over her air mattress on the floor of our living room. Which I never thought one of them would do, but of course, they both did. After all the initial hoopla, the kids both managed to get to sleep and did really well the rest of the night. The next day was low-key. Just breakfast and playing until they went home around lunchtime. But great memories were made that I hope the kids will keep with them for a long time. I know I will.

The forgotten birthday

My sweet one-year-old boy.

Little Joel turned one amidst the post-Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas hoopla, as he will every year seeing that his birthday is December 1st. And it kind of got lost in the shuffle, as it probably will every year. We are going to try to fight that, though.

We resisted putting up Christmas decorations inside until after his birthday. We wanted him to be the star, at least this year. He, however, in typical Joel fashion, was very nonchalant about the whole thing.

All he really wanted to do was pull out all the videos and DVDs. We say he's taking inventory. He started out just pulling them out. Then he started trying to put them back. Now he looks and them and decides if it's one he likes or not.

We decided to just have family, and we just had a small afternoon party instead of a big meal like we always tried to do with Gabriel. This is his cake. I don't mean THE cake, I mean HIS cake. The corner of ours is in the background of the picture. The bakery his Tia found will make a smaller version for the kid to tear into.

Only it's not so small, and he didn't quite know what to do with it.

It took a lot of time and a lot of coaxing to get him to dig in.

But then he got a little better at it, and before long he was stuffing big hunks of icing into his mouth like an old pro. All I could do was sit back and wait for the tummy ache, which woke him up from his post-party nap causing big giant screams. Sigh.

But he enjoyed himself, as did all of us, so it was a success. He got some cool new toys, and some new PJ's, the really warm footie kind that he really needed. And some other clothes and a bath toy. All he wanted to do was crawl around after his brother and stare up at Cade and Macy, who he loves having at our house.

Tonight Jav and I noticed that he is getting better at punching buttons and purposefully playing with toys instead of randomly like before. He's also much more thoughtful these last few days. I'll catch him just staring into space thinking about something. But then he'll see me and flash that Joel smile and start moving his happy legs.

I have a bad cough again and couldn't sing to him tonight, so I decided to try whistling O Holy Night. It's not easy to do! But it got him really soundly to sleep.

Love him so, so much.

Old holiday memories and making new ones

Gabriel has been infatuated with Christmas lights this year. He gets so excited driving through the neighborhood after dark. We've driven the neighborhood twice, and then we went with Cade and Macy to Diamond Loch. I thought Gabriel's head was going to explode he was so excited.

It made me remember sitting in the back seat when we would drive back and forth from my grandparents or wherever during the Christmas season, and my goal was to look down every street, in both directions, and make sure I saw every single house that had lights. Once we had done this a couple of times, I would rate the decorating jobs based on color choice and how neatly the job was done. My absolute favorite was all blue lights. Not the weird part-blue, part-white fluorescent looking lights they make now. But a deep blue that would make me feel peaceful and calm.

Of course, back then no one had anything inflatable in their yards. I don't like the blow-up things, but Gabriel loves them. I vowed we would never have them in our yard, but who knows how much those big brown eyes will sway me one day. I think our yard looks really pretty this year. All we added was some sparkly things and lights to our little tree. They shine in the sun during the day and look really pretty with the lights at night. One day we WILL win or place in the neighborhood decorating contest. I already have some ideas for next year.

Another tradition from the past that we are now continuing is an advent calendar. I absolutely loved my advent calendar growing up. It was made out of white felt, and the tree that you hung the ornaments on was pink felt. There were 25 little pockets with different baubles attached to straight pins (!). You pinned a new ornament to the tree every day up until the 25th. I guess they weren't as concerned about safety issues as we are today. I think my brother and I may have stuck ourselves (or each other) with those pins a couple of times, but nothing serious.

My mom bought Gabriel an advent calendar this year. It's Fisher Price, and really cute. Every day he pulls out another character for the nativity scene and velcros it wherever he wants to put it. The only one I made him put in a certain place was the baby Jesus, in the center yesterday. He's really been excited every day to move his little footstool under it and see what's in that day's pocket. I'm all for anything that reminds him that this holiday is about much more than Santa and getting stuff, stuff, and more stuff.

Next post, pictures of the stuff, stuff and more stuff.