We have been looking for a house for 2 months or so now. The first month was spent driving around neighborhoods, just getting a feel for where we might want to delve deeper. We have seen a total of 7 houses within the last three weeks or so. I have noticed a distinct difference in the way my husband and I approach looking at houses.
I can move through a house pretty quickly and immediately sum up whether or not I think it will aesthetically work for us, as far as how many bedrooms, living areas, and just the general flow of the house. I also can scan the shape of carpeting and flooring, kitchen applicances, size of rooms, and shape of the yard pretty quickly. My husband is much more deliberate, pausing to check for cracks in the walls or rips in the carpeting. Outside he goes all around the house checking the foundation. I know this is just as important, and because I know he will do it, I don't pay as much attention to this part. I'm too busy seeing the potential of what we COULD do with the house and/or yard. By the time we get back in our car to go to the next house, I've got my mind made up. Here's a typical conversation for us once we're in the car away from the realtor:
Me: "I absolutely LOVE this house."
Jav: "Yes, it seems pretty promising."
Me: "What do you mean 'promising'. This is our perfect house."
Jav: "How do you know that? We've only just seen it."
Me: "I don't care, I just know. WOMEN just know. I think we should make an offer."
Jav: "Are you crazy? We'll need to see it at least one more time before we can even consider buying."
Me: "But what if someone else gets our dream home? I'm not going to speak to you for a really long time if you let that happen."
And so on... It usually takes me the second look before I start seeing little (or possibly big) flaws, and realize that he was right. I've promised him that I will try not to do this anymore, that I will keep my wits about me, with my mouth shut and my eyes open. But how can I help it, if he just lacks vision? Why should I stay quiet while he moves slow as a tortoise, when some quick-as-a-hare couple could move in, while he's still pondering window seals and brick morter?
This is the first challenging thing we've been through in our marriage, and it doesn't help that this will be our first and possibly last house that we buy. The pressure's on!!
5 comments:
Trust me, this will not be the last house you buy. Even if you find The Perfect House, and do all the things to make it your own, you will realize that as you change, so will your needs and taste in houses. Or neighborhoods. That's half the fun of it - and believe me, it IS fun.
You may find you are kicking and screaming when you realize you need to tweek the things you thought you needed. I did. When remodeling ends up being just too much to worry about, and you get the itch to again find The Perfect House.
The secret is to consider it The Perfect HOME for your life as it is now. Will it fit your family as you forsee it for say the next five years. Or ten years.
We moved from buying houses in Bedford to Richardson to Fort Worth (this house in 1969) to Lubbock to Ft Campbell to Ft Gordon, then back to Fort Worth. I thought each time "How can I leave my HOME?" THIS is The Perfect House. But your HOME is what you and Jav make and the love you share there, not the bricks and wood and wall paper and paint. It is the family you create there, no matter how many that family unit includes.
Consider this first house a big step in the adventure of your life together. Birds build The Perfect Nest for their family, and often find the following year they need a different tree or bush to raise their family. The first one was "peftect" and then find the next one is better.
I don't mean to diminish your worry and hopes and dreams. I remember the excitement (and nervousness) of that first house in Bedford. This is only a step, not the end of the journey. HAVE FUN! I know the way you feel about putting down roots, as you have being our neighbor for so many years. You will bloom, no matter where you live. May you find comfort in any place you call HOME.
Wow Mom - how eloquent. I'm just glad I married into a great house so I didn't have to go through what you guys are going through right now. But I'm sure I will some day, I just try to think of it being in the VERY distant future!
Eloquent? I don't know. I do see that the gremlins who would sneak into my computer at night and rearrange the letters in my words did the same thing here. "Perfect", not "pertect." Probably other goofs in my writing too.........
I think it was extremely eloquent, and very, very sweet. Of course you are right. I have been telling Jav about what the yard was like when I moved into this house, mostly stickers and dirt and weeds, with a little grass. I poured my heart into it, and it shows. We saw three houses today, and we had a great time looking. And no matter where we end up, I know that we are going to be very happy. Thank you for reminding us!
Do you know I absolutely HATED shopping for houses, even though we were looking at brand new ones? I just wanted to get one and get it over with. It was such a chore. Luckily we didn't buy the first thing we liked and we got a great house in a great location and the value has skyrocketed since we moved here.
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