My mother-in-law has a fantastic sense of humor. The reason I know this is because everyone in the room laughs at her jokes. Except me. I am looking at my husband, waiting for a translation. Then I laugh, after everyone else in the room has become quiet again. My husband thinks that my Spanish is as good as his Mom's English. Which is actually not bad, but we are both suffering from a low confidence level and are afraid of trying and making a silly mistake.
When we went to Monterrey to visit La Familia just after Christmas last year, my Spanish started really coming back to me, at least in my head. There is something to that immersion concept. But the one time I tried to speak out loud, I told Javier's male cousin that he was my favorite out of all the cousins. Which would've been great, only I used the feminine version of cousin instead of the masculine. I was horrified. He was very nice about it and laughed, but I haven't tried to say anything out loud since.
I can't believe that after 6 years of grade school Spanish and 3 years of college, I can't form a sentence. I can say, "Hola, como esta?" and "Bien, gracias", and simple phrases like "bonita camisa" (pretty shirt) and "la comida - deliciosa!" (the food - delicious!") But I always leave out the verbs! I know I'll just screw up the verb tense, so I don't say it at all. Which I'm sure sounds worse than screwing it up, but I'm just SO afraid.
So my new goal in life is to have conversations with my mother-in-law. I thought about asking Jav to speak to me only in Spanish, but I'm afraid that might make me frustrated and lead to a fight. I may try leaving our TV on Spanish overdubbing, all the time. I might subscribe to a Spanish newspaper. All I know is that I refuse to give up on this project (like so many others I have started). I want to be able to converse with my husband's family, whom I now consider my family. There's just only so much nodding and smiling you can do!
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