Mexico

I knew that our trip to Monterrey would be tough. I've been with Jav's family once before, and had a little nervous breakdown about halfway through the trip, sobbing and telling him, "your family doesn't do things like my family". This is in no way a condemnation of his family, all of whom are wonderful, nice people who have accepted me right from the get-go. This is just a statement of fact, and one that I am learning to get around.

First off, everything starts later. You get up later, you eat later, you stay up alot later. And no one seems to be in a big hurry to do anything. This is probably alot healthier than what we do in the U.S., which is to rush, rush, rush everywhere everyday. When you are invited over to someone's house, it is not for an hour or two, but six or seven hours, plus an hour each way for traffic. (It takes an hour to get anywhere in the whole city, which I can't quite figure out the math on). So if we were supposed to head over to Tio Arturo and Tia Rosi's house for a meal, I had to bring two meals and a snack for Gabriel. I also learned that he would need at least one nap while we were there. The first day this didn't go very well. It was really hot (100 degrees+) and most people do not have air conditioning in the living areas. The good cool air is saved for nighttime sleeping. Gabriel was just too hot and uncomfortable to go to sleep the first day. But the other days we were led to the air conditioned bedrooms just as he was getting sleepy, and he did ok. I was greatful to have the opportunity to be in a cool room while he slept. By the last day I was sleeping with him, which meant I had finally accepted the Mexico mentality.

Another thing that stresses me out about these trips is the fact that I don't speak fluent Spanish, and I'm not confident enough with the book Spanish I know to try and have conversations. But by the end of the trip I am always surprised how much has come back to me (total immersion really does work), and this trip I actually tried it out a couple of times and was successful. I have so much I'd like to say, or questions I'd like to ask, though, and it's difficult to not be able to communicate except through Jav and his sister.

One constant problem the last time we went to Monterrey was the fact that no one is in a big hurry to eat. Well, (and I know Jav gets sick of hearing me say this), I have low blood sugar and have to eat something pretty substantial or I will first get a nasty headache, then become sick to my stomach, then possibly pass out. I finally learned the solution to this problem is to carry around granola bars and cheese crackers in my purse everytime we leave the house. I would just go in a bathroom and munch on my snacks so that it wouldn't seem rude, and this would carry me over until we had a big meal. Which, by the way, were all muy deliciosas. We had homemade tortillas that would melt in your mouth, chile rellenos stuffed with raisins and veggies, beef with rice and summer squash, and arroz con leche for dessert. Real Mexican food is so much better, and better for you, than Tex-Mex.

The final difference that I have come to accept about visiting Mexico has to do with trying to leave someone's house. Once you know you are ready to go, and you tell everyone you are ready to go, plan on being there for at least another 30-45 minutes while everyone says goodbye. You will kiss everyone's cheek and have a little conversation with them before going onto the next person. This really is a charming trait, but when you are tired and cranky from 6 or 7 hours of trying to fit in, trying to understand what everyone's saying, praying that Gabriel will keep being an angel and letting everyone pass him around, and gone from totally starving to stuffed full at least two times ... this gets to be pretty taxing.

But there were so many moments during the trip that made it all worthwhile. Seeing Jav's mom with her two sisters practically fighting over who would feed Gabriel, and Gabriel's little confused face as he looked at the three of them - how did his one Tita become three? Watching Tia Rosi (Jav's uncle's wife) dance around with Gabriel so fast that his little hand had white knuckles from holding onto her shirt. Seeing Jav's second cousin, beautiful 11-year-old Anita, read Gabriel's book to him in English, her face beaming with pride. Sitting in Jav's cousins' beautiful big backyard (very few people have more than a strip of grass and some concrete), with bouganvillia blooming in big mounds everywhere and the mountains seemingly close enough to touch. Watching Jav's (single and childless) cousin David's face as he walked into his house the first morning after our arrival, with Gabriel's toys, food and baby gear scattered over every inch of it. And Jav and I getting to spend so much time with Gabriel, sleeping in the same room with him, riding in the car with him, watching his little face taking all of these new things and people in. It really was a great trip. And I'll be completely ready for it next time.