From Disappointment to Bursting with Parental Pride

The grandmothers anxiously awaiting a performance that never came.

Jav and sister Sandra, who really should win the Tia of the Year award, every year.

Gabriel looks tense already, doesn't he? I was concerned at this point. Look at Joel hamming it up with his fake smile face. How do you know how to do a fake smile face when you're not even two?

We attended Gabriel's school fundraising event Thursday night, along with both grandmothers and one Tia. You see, he was supposed to get on stage and sing. But he didn't. He had a mini freak-out and started saying he wanted to go home as soon as the first group started getting off the stage. I had my hands full of a very cranky and Mommy-centric Joel, so Jav carried him up to the stage and hoped to talk him into joining his classmates. But no, he just wouldn't do it. So what to do as a parent? You can't take him kicking and screaming and make him stand up there. I wish I had just tuned out Joel and taken Gabriel myself, but that probably wouldn't have worked either. I had forgotten that last year the same thing almost happened, but we got lucky when one of his teachers passed our table on the way up to the stage and whisked Gabriel up there with her before he had a chance to protest.

I don't want Gabriel to have fear dictate to him what does and doesn't do as he grows up. I was that way for the better part of my life and have some regrets about it. I realize that he's still very young to be thinking about this. I guess I'm wondering, at what age do we sort of nudge him to do something that he really doesn't want to do, when we know that he will have fun doing it. I had a talk with him the next morning, and told him that after all that practicing that he sort of let down his classmates, his teachers, and most of all himself by not making himself get on stage and sing. He missed out on having some fun, and sharing his wonderful voice with all of us. He just kept saying, "But it's okay Mommy."

Then, later that same day, we visited the school where my dad is principal, Jo Kelly. We had not been for several years and his two secretaries really wanted to see Gabriel and meet Joel. My mom came too, since dad is about to retire and she may not get another chance to visit him there. Jo Kelly is the only Fort Worth public school where severely mentally and physically challenged kids can attend. I didn't realize that my dad wanted to take us around to classrooms, so I didn't have time to prepare Gabriel for anything. The kids are almost all in wheelchairs, and range from barely moving to having severe spasms, and from remaining totally quiet to verbal and sometimes shouting. The first classroom was quite a shock to the little guy, but my dad saw his face and leaned down to tell him that most of the kids here are disabled, but they are still kids just like him.

Gabriel proceeded to amaze me. He brightened right up, seemed to accept everyone just the way they were, started waving "Hi" to most of the kids, and even went up to talk to a few of the higher functioning kids when prompted by a teacher. He was downright charming with the teachers. I have never been so proud of him as I was walking through that school. And I told him so when we got back to the car. I really hope that he remembers the visit, and can continue to be accepting of people, especially kids, who are different.