Fresh

I'm trying to maintain an herb garden for about the 3rd year in a row. I really want to pay enough attention to them this year to keep them from dying out. I have chocolate mint, basil, lemony thyme, rosemary and oregano. I'd still like to add sage and dill to make it complete for this year. And I love the addition of my St. Francis statue in the middle of my herb garden. It makes it seem like a real garden. I used the basil and the thyme last night to make Provencal Chicken and Stuffed Provencal Tomatoes. (The small white pot was the basil, and I pretty much stripped it clean.) My kitchen still smells like La Madeline this morning! There's nothing more satisfying than going outside and clipping off herbs that you are growing yourself and using them to cook. And we sat outside for dinner in the wonderful cool weather. Since we will not be traveling to France anytime soon, why not imagine using food and atmosphere?

April Fools!!

I'm not one to pull April Fool gags on people. It's hard for me to think of things that won't make people really upset before I break the news that I'm just kidding. But I got my husband today, and I am so very proud.

We recently had alot of plumbing work and remodeling done in our guest bathroom. I told him this morning that when I got out of our shower in the master bath, I went into that bathroom to get something and there was water all over our brand new floor as if something was leaking. I had even closed the bathroom door and put towels down in case the water seeped onto the hardwood floors. He had the "Oh Good God What's Next?" look on his face. As soon as he opened the door I whispered "April Fools". He couldn't get super mad at me because Gabriel was sleeping right next door (also part of my Master Plan). Now I have to be on my guard for the rest of the day. And probably next April 1st.

Now I remember why I never prank anybody.

Fighting the instinct and losing

Well, we found out the reason Gabriel cried so much the first night we tried to skip the nighttime feeding is because he was cutting his first two teeth. He had two brand new little bottom toothies the next day. I felt so bad about just letting him cry for so long. Then the next two nights he slept right through the night. But now he's waking up again sometime between 3 and 5. I decided that I'm not going to worry about it if he wakes up. As my Mom pointed out, if we wake up hungry in the middle of the night, we get up and get a snack. So that's all I'm doing - getting him a snack since he can't get up yet.

Two shows I'll give up sleep for

One, I'm ashamed to admit, is American Idol. I got tired of never knowing what people were talking about, so I've watched it from the auditions this season. And I can't wait to see it each week. If you're a fan, I'm rooting for Blake and Jordin. Blake's updated version of Time of the Season by The Zombies was pure genius last week.

The other show is The Riches on F/X on Monday nights. The main reason I love this show is because of Eddie Izzard (see previous post). He's brilliant in it, even though it's more dramatic than comedic. Minnie Driver is wonderful also. It's such a different premise (a family of grifters decide to steal the American Dream from some dead people), and so far the writing's holding up too. I think this role will finally bring Eddie into the mainstream. After all, now he'll be a cross-dressing comedian, movie AND TV actor. How much more mainstream can you get?

Fighting the instinct

It's three in the morning and I've been up for over an hour and a half listening to Gabriel cry. We're trying to break him of his middle-of-the-night feeding for the first night. Supposedly we have to go through this to get him to realize he'll have to eat more during the day. I've been in to comfort him a couple of times, scratch his back and tell him everything's ok, and once to change his diaper and give him something for teething pain. But I'm not supposed to cuddle or rock him, which goes against every maternal instinct I have.

Oddly enough, this is making me think of the book club selection I finished last night. It was The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon, told from the perspective of a boy with autism. He doesn't like to be touched, and instead of hugging, his parents hold up their hands with fingers spread to touch his fingertips, and this means that they love him and he loves them back in his own way. I can't imagine how tough it would be to fight the cuddle instinct all the time.

And now my stomach is growling, but I'll be damned if I'm going to eat anything when I know he's in there hungry. This is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Spring Fever has sprung

And we want to be outside all day long!

It's showtime folks!!

One of my favorite movies of all time is All That Jazz, which is based on the life of choreographer Bob Fosse, but in the movie his name is Joe Gideon. Yes, it's a dance movie, but it's also about human weakness, drive and creativity, and ultimately facing your own death. It's a bit haunting also, because the entire movie is focused around the probability and then reality of Gideon dying from a heart attack, and Fosse actually died from one some time later after this movie was made. Gideon is brilliantly portrayed by Roy Scheider, who chain-smoked, pill-popped and tail-chased his way through the part. There is a recurring scene of Gideon getting himself going every morning with his morning routine. Hot shower, morning cigarette, popping the upper-of-choice for the day, splashing cold water in his face, and finally looking at his reflection and murmuring, "It's showtime folks" while listening to the same piece of classical music-I think it's either Bach or Vivaldi.

Trying to deal with a baby at my age has caused me to feel as if a truck ran over me every morning. It's taking more and more effort to get myself out of bed in the morning. Then it dawned on me this morning that I already have to have the hot shower and the cold water splashed on my face to get me going. I also have found that lately I crave drinks with LOTS of caffeine during the day, and a glass of wine to unwind in the evenings. I have this fear that if we try to have another baby, the uppers aren't far behind.

Rocket Science

I was walking Stanley yesterday and noticed a torn up Nerf rocket in the gutter. This prompted a string of really strong memories from my 5th Grade science project in Mr. Anthony's class. It's amazing to me to think of all the memories our brains have stored up, because this whole thing came back to me clear as a bell. We were supposed to construct a rocket out of balsam wood and test it to see if it would actually fly. I thought about the entire class going to the covered open-air recess area to spray paint our rockets silver. I could almost smell the spray paint and hear the muted rattley sound of the cans when we shook them up, and even remembered the lightheaded feeling I had from the fumes. I could recall how cool they looked hanging there to dry with the sun reflecting off the silver. I also remembered the feeling of absolute dread when it came time to try mine out to see if it worked. I don't think mine ever went anywhere, but there were those teacher's pets whose rockets went waaaaaaayy high up in the air. Science show-offs. And for some reason, all of these thoughts led me to have a strong craving for ice cream sandwiches. Aaahh, the carefree days of elementary school.

Community

Jav and I attended our first ever Neighborhood Association meeting last night. This may not sound like a big thing, but it was for us. We are both really shy and get super nervous about situations like that where we have to walk into a roomfull of people we don't know. But it wasn't that bad. I really want to get more involved in our neighborhood, especially since I'm home right now. We met alot of really nice people and are trying to remember names between now and the next meeting. There are many older people in our neighborhood, but we were glad to see several couples that looked around our ages. It wasn't a real exciting meeting, with most of the talk involving our Code Compliance officer and ALOT of complaints about repeat offenders from residents. But it still felt really good to be sitting there among residents, old and new, with all of us just wanting to solve problems to preserve the beauty and uniqueness of this neighborhood.

I would also like to get more involved at our parish. We had Gabriel's baptism a couple of weeks ago, and it was such a feeling of comfort to think of the whole congregation standing behind our little guy, helping him grow up. We are starting to meet more and more people (it's amazing how holding a baby can break the ice), we love Father Richard and Deacon Tom, and just feel more and more at home each time we attend.

No picky eater here

Gabriel started solid foods about 3 weeks ago, and is loving having a new variety of tastes each day. We've only gotten through the cereals and the vegetables, and will start fruit tomorrow. How exciting! I love to watch his little face every time I give him something new. I know we'll probably go through some stages of not liking much of anything, but right now he seems to be open to just about anything. (I mean, how can anybody be thrilled to try the exciting new taste of mushed-up peas?) I am a firm believer in variety when it comes to food. I don't understand the concept of Meatloaf Mondays, Tuna Casserole Tuesdays, etc... The checkers at the grocery store always groan when they see my basket full of bags of produce, some of which is completely alien to them. I just hope Gabriel will be a lifetime tryer of new foods and tastes. It took me until I was into my late 20's before I realized how good asparagus, brussel sprouts, squash and tons of other vegetables and fruits could be. They just have to be good quality and fresh to begin with and not over- or undercooked. But right now, we'll just focus on getting through sweet potatoes and starting bananas tomorrow.

Unsinkable Molly

There was a new bright star shining in the Texas sky last night. Molly Ivins finally succumbed to breast cancer yesterday. If you've never read her columns or books, it's hard to convey just how much she was a cut above her peers. In this age of plasticine news anchors whose main goal seems to be to entertain us or figure out whether they should stand or sit while delivering the headlines, she managed to rise above the doldrums of the news industry and stick to hard core, intelligent reporting. She was not afraid to tackle any issue or industry, was fantastic at following the money linking big business interests with political donations, and she did it while all along retaining her glorious Texanese language and unfailing sense of humor. She was also able to remain true to herself.

I'm gonna miss her.

Favorite Christmas picture 2006

Gabriel update

We went to Gabriel's 4 month checkup today. He is 26-1/2" long and weighs 20 pounds! My arms and back knew he was getting pretty heavy. We've had alot of firsts this week. He started really paying attention to Jav and I eating, and has been trying to grab bowls and plates off the table. He has figured out the button on the musical turtle in his crib will make it light up and change songs if he kicks it. He has started laughing ( a real belly laugh, not just a giggle) when we tickle him, although it's still a rare occurance. He also turned over from front to back for the first time today, while I was out of the room, of course. And the biggest deal is that he started cereal today. So many changes coming so fast. I'm just so so so glad I'm not working and get to see it all.

Recycling rant

I am getting really irritated with the people in my neighborhood. I don't see many recycle bins on the curb when I walk the dogs, just the trash bins. I guess it does take a little extra effort to take the labels off of cans and rinse out bottles and cans, but there's no exuse on the newspaper. I really don't think there's an exuse for not doing any of it, actually. I think I went a couple of weeks where I only recycled the really easy stuff when we brought Gabriel home. But since he's the reason I try to recycle, I gradually worked back up to what I was doing before. Our bin is almost full every week, which I am pretty proud of.

This was the first Christmas where I felt really wasteful for buying wrapping paper. You can't put it in the recycle bin. The bags are reusable, but expensive. I would really like to do something more creative and less throw-awayish next year. The same for gifts. It's amazing how hard it can be to try to get away from the advertising-driven BUY BUY BUY attitude. I know Santa can't really skimp on the kids' gifts, but I hope to have the time to really give thoughtful and environmentally-friendly gifts to the adults next year. We're headed in that direction - we decided to exchange names in our family, with every adult just purchasing and receiving one present. Except that my parents surprised both Jav and I and my brother and his wife with gift cards to purchase trees for our yards, and a promise from my Dad to help us plant them, which I thought was just the BEST gift. I read in one of my Yoga magazine articles about a woman who was only giving gifts in three catagories: 1)charitable gifts in her family members' honor, 2) seeds, bulbs and plants, or 3) family-oriented gifts like board games. I like this idea, and really want to expand on it next Christmas.

Winter, in Texas?

What a lovely couple of days we've had. It turns out the weather was pretty nasty all weekend, but we didn't actually receive the ICY/ARCTIC BLAST that we were warned about until last night. We've been taking care of Gabriel, eating and sleeping, and that's about it. Our metabolisms have been reduced to that of a three-toed sloth. Hibernation can be a good thing!

I made garlic soup Saturday night, which to me is the absolute best thing you can eat on a cold night. You can really feel first your insides then your outsides warming up. Yesterday I made chili in the "slow cooker". When did crockpots become "slow cookers"? And why did the makers of "slow cookers" think that this would be a more glamorous name? Anyway, my food intake has been about twice the normal rate, but I've been moving slower so who knows how many pounds that translates into. But I really don't care. Everybody needs slow-moving weekends like this every once in awhile. It's just sad that it has to ice over to make us slow down and realize it.

Payback

I always make slight fun of all the people who go to the grocery store to stock up on food when we have ice/sleet/snow predicted in North Texas. I mean, even if we actually get one of those things, how likely is it that a) it will stick, and b) it will continue for more than one day. There are always people who have baskets full of food like they are early settlers preparing for the long winter ahead.

We had planned a trip to Fredericksburg tomorrow, just a one-nighter. Our first trip with Gabriel, and I've been packing all day. When the weather prediction all of sudden got worse, we decided to cancel our trip. Thinking we'd be gone this weekend, I didn't do any grocery shopping. I have NO food in the house. No soup, no meat, no fruit. Just peanut butter and bread, and about seven different kinds of cheese. I guess that will have to last us until someone comes to dig us out.

Vacation dreams part 2 (the realistic list)

These are trips that I can actually see taking in my lifetime.

1) Poetry festival. I would love to go to one of these on the East coast during Fall. Poetry, beautiful weather and leaves changing, crisp cool air during the days and cold enough for a fire at night. True perfection.

2) Hiking retreat, with hot showers and gourmet dinners. I do not have the stuff it takes to be a true camper. I don't like feeling grubby for days at a time, and I have a tendency to hate sleeping on the ground. I don't know that I'd even like RV life - I think I'd have a feeling of being a sardine locked inside my tin can at night. So this would be the way to go for me, because I love to hike. The more hills and tough spots the better. But I want to clean up and get a nice meal and a warm bed afterwards.

3) Family beach or mountain trip. This is something I've dreamed about ever since my brother had his first child. I think traveling with the entire family is so special, and the kids will remember those trips forever. I remember traveling places with my grandparents and parents, and it though it was just my brother and I, I have such great memories from those trips. My Mom always talks about the summer that their family and their two neighbors families all traveled to Colorado. She is still best friends with those girls to this day. Now we have kids in both families, and I can't wait for this to actually happen.

Vacation dreams part 1

Upon starting our new book club selection (The Best American Travel Writing 2006), I've been thinking about where I want to go one day. This is my "I can dream, can't I?" list. So here are my three absolute dream vacations:

3 months in Western Europe. I have been to Europe twice, once to Holland and once to Scotland. I stayed in one town for 4 days in Holland, and Jav and I honeymooned for a week in Scotland. These two trips have taught me that I am not an Organized Tour kind of a person. I don't see how people think that going to a different country every day for 2 weeks is seeing Europe. I like to sit in the cafes and watch people. I like to visit the local pub and hear the locals complaining about their soccer team. A museum or historical sight is ok every once in a while, but I do not want to fill up my days inside museums. I want to walk alot and have our own car and explore. I want to spend at least a week in each country, with two for Italy, just because it's Italy, and two for Germany, where I want to trace my ancestors.

3 months in Eastern Europe - Same as above, just different countries

Russia. I have this thing for all things Russian. I'm not sure what the word is for that. Ruskifile? When we found out Gabriel's middle name (Valentin) was Russian, we almost named him Dimitri. But I started thinking it sounded like a soap opera name. Anyway, I'd love to take a SAFE trip there. I read about organized crime running rampant and kidnappings of tourists, so I emphasize SAFE. The architecture in St. Petersburg would probably keep me there for the whole trip.

These are the trips I daydream about while I'm walking the dogs. Next post will be some slightly more realistic trips I yearn for.

Getting sentimental over an inanimate object

If there was one thing that made me excited each Christmas growing up, it was the sight of my grandparents Christmas tree every year. We would celebrate with them on Christmas night, and even though I loved the other gatherings, it didn't really feel like Christmas until we would walk into their house and see that tree. We knew what the evening would consist of - lots of singing to the Brothers Four Christmas album, the delicious smell of bacon coming from the kitchen for our traditional German Christmas dinner, me getting to play Santa's elf and pass out presents, and finally going around the room one at a time to open our gifts. We would always all be rolling on the floor with laughter because my grandmother would get the presents confused (she'd get kind of hectic as Christmas got closer and stop putting tags on things), and not realize it until the recipient had opened the gift and had a very confused look on his or her face. There was such a feeling of love and being safe and warm at their house. Those were the most special evenings of our Christmas every year.

After my grandmother died, I decided to take the tree and start using it. It had held up really well for the 30+ years they had been using it. I also took her decorations, which consisted of my grandfathers homemade ornaments, apples, and lots of things Mamaw had received as presents through the years. I put small multicolored lights on it, just like she had. It made me feel like I was 8 years old and back at their house.

Now that I've put up the tree for 4 years, the cats have gotten the better of it. They have jumped on the lower limbs so many times that alot of them had a permanent bend to them, so much so that they wouldn't stay in the little holes on the tree post. I decided to keep the top half of the tree for either the front porch or Gabriel's room next year. But I threw the rest of it away this morning, with tears rolling down my face. I'm going to miss seeing it every year.

Christmas memories

Things I want to remember about this Christmas:
Gabriel's first Christmas morning, even though he didn't really know what was going on
Christmas Eve Mass with all the dressed up beautiful children
Gabriel loving the sound of the jingle bell wreath
Enjoying walking the dogs, especially Stanley (I've been thinking this will be his last Christmas for three years now. He keeps proving me wrong.)
Shopping for a video camera with Jav, and being so tired that all I could do was focus on the big screen TV playing a Transiberian Orchestra concert.
Gabriel staying awake through both of our family Christmases, even though it was way past his bedtime. (That actually goes for me too).
Trying to put up the Christmas lights while passing Gabriel back and forth
Driving around with Gabriel, my Mom and Cade to look at Christmas lights. We knew Cade was
DONE when he asked if he could go home and watch TV.
April forgetting that the kids could hear her as she mumbled, "oh I remember what that is now" while Cade and Macy opened their Christmas gifts from Santa.
Singing every Christmas carol I know to Gabriel softly to help him fall asleep.
Being so thankful to have both Jav's and my parents healthy and young, and watching them with Gabriel.