True grit

I recently finished six of the hardest weeks at work I've ever had to deal with.   I was filling in for the Buyer at work, who was out on Maternity Leave.

I was told that filling in would involve entering purchase orders into the system.  And that's all.  Piece of cake, I thought to myself.  When Maria started training me, I realized she meant for me to do everything she does while she was out, even though she works 40 hours a week and I was only going to be working 20.  Panic started to set in, and I seriously thought about telling them I just couldn't do it.  But two things kept me from doing that.

1)   When I was supposed to go back to work, and changed my mind three weeks beforehand, I felt like I let the owner down.  He had always been very good to me and I felt bad about how incredibly disappointed he seemed in me when he found out I wasn't coming back.  This seemed like a way I could make up for it, finally.

2)  I don't want my boys to be quitters.  I've been somewhat of a quitter all my life, and I wanted to prove to both myself and to them (one day), that I could tough something out even though it was really hard.  I've downloaded a book called, "How Children Succeed:  Grit, Curiousity and the Hidden Power of Character" by Paul Tough.  His last name made me chuckle a little.  There are many studies coming out now that even if your child is super smart, that's not enough to get him to succeed all the way through college and beyond.  They have to develop a sense of determination and toughness, and confidence that they will see a project through to the very end no matter what obstacles they face.

This is something I could have used some help with as a teenager and after.   I just stopped going to college the semester that would have been my junior year.  It just all got too hard all of a sudden.  I didn't have ANY gumption to try anymore.  I ended up with a B, two Cs and one F at the end of it, quit school all together and started working full-time.  I worked for four years, and something about that time changed me.  I started to have common sense smarts, and developed tons of confidence that maybe I did have what it took to get through college after all.  I went back and even though my grade point average was really hard to get back up, I graduated after two and a half years with mostly A's, a few B's and one stinking C.

I don't want my boys to have that lack of gumption, but I'm afraid they may come by it genetically.  Gabriel has already shown signs of this quality even at his young age.  So we will give them the tools, knowledge and living example to beat it.  So, I put my head down, and tried to learn as much as I could while Maria was still at work.  She received the news six weeks before her due date that she was dilated to a 1.  Panic, panic, panic.  But somehow that baby decided to stay in her nice warm place and didn't come out for another 3 weeks!  When I started on my own the Tuesday morning after Zoe was born, I came home exhausted but felt pretty good about how it had gone.

And so it went for six weeks.  I had a few really rough days where I barely had time to go to the bathroom or eat, and I made a couple of mistakes here and there.  I was mentally exhausted when I picked up the boys and sometimes just sat on the couch with a catatonic stare in the afternoons.  But nothing catastrophic happened, and I began to gain respect from everyone in the company as I handled things.  I received much help and some huge complements from Mike, the owner, and several of of the salespeople told me I was doing a great job. My boss, Donna, who I had overheard talking about me to someone regarding how scatterbrained I was and that she didn't think I could handle taking over Maria's job, even told me halfway through that she thought I was doing a terrific job.

Now Maria has been back for three weeks, and I've been a little sad that I had to hand the reigns back to her.  I felt like what I was doing was pretty important.   I felt respected and needed, and challenged in a way I haven't been in a long time.  But I'm still riding on the high that I did my best and finished the job.  And I shared with Gabriel the whole story, in the hope that it would help him get through his days at school.  I'm hoping also that I won't be so afraid now to find a new full-time, challenging job when the time comes.  I can learn something new even at my age!

How just "a" song became "our" song.

When we were planning our wedding, and we got to the part about music after the ceremony and for dancing later, we probably put WAY too much thought into what songs we chose.  You see, I am a bit of a music snob, and I didn't want the mainstream things that everybody hears over and over again at weddings to be played at ours.  "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor - no way.  "Can't Smile Without You", I don't think so (since we have been watching "Four Weddings and a Funeral" this song makes me giggle now).  "Macarena"-over my dead body.

I remember being at my office on a Sunday making CD's of all the different songs we wanted our DJ to play.  We decided to stick with traditional Big Band and Hispanic songs all through cocktails and dinner, then switch to a mix of 60s 70s 80s and current songs for dancing.  The thing we did not do was make a "Do Not Play" list, which is why halfway through the dancing I was horrified to hear the strains of, "She Works Hard for the Money" by Donna Summer.  I was ready to fire the guy on the spot, but Jav calmed me down.  This scenario would (and does) play out constantly in our marriage.  But I digress.

While we were planning and copying, we both realized that we REALLY liked the song "September" by Earth Wind and Fire.  Jav had liked it already, I don't think I had paid much attention to the song before then.  In fact, we liked it so much, that by the time our wedding weekend had arrived we decided to lead off the dancing with that song.  We had the Bride and Groom dance (to "Hands on the Wheel" by Willie Nelson), my dance with my dad (to I Hope you Dance by Leann Womack - his choice that ended up making me cry), and Jav's dance with his mom (Solomente Una Vez by Luis Miguel).  There is a very funny part in our wedding DVD at the end of their dance of me, literally sprinting to the DJ's table to ask him to play "September" to get everyone out on the floor.  And it was packed.

Sandra, my sister-in-law, told us later that year that she considered it to be "our" song.  And we realized she was right.  But we didn't really understand why.  We didn't meet in September, or start dating in September, or get married in September.  But it was so obviously OUR SONG.

Flash forward two years and four months, and we finally got to understand why.

Happy 6th birthday to my sweet, smart, funny, rockin' Gabriel.  It all makes sense now.

Friday song, on Monday.

I'm a little late for my Friday song from last week.  I'm taking a departure from the soothing harmonies of Gillian Welch from the week before.

We had an interesting conversation with Gabriel last weekend at dinner.  He's been wondering (and probably worrying, knowing him) about college since he started Kindergarten.  Jav was telling him how many years of grade school, high school, then college, and then graduate school if he wanted.

Jav says, "Or you could go to law school and become a lawyer."
Gabriel,  "What's a lawyer?"
Jav,  "We'll explain one day.  You'd be good as one.  Or you could go to medical school and become a doctor."
Gabriel, after thinking for awhile,  "What about guitar school?"

Yep, that's my little rocker.

We've been enjoying the Houses of the Holy CD for about a month now.  Here's my favorite song from it:

Friday song, my pacifier for this week

Something about her voice just soothes me like a warm blanket on a cool night.  I've been addicted to her this week.  This week was better at work, worse regarding Gabriel and school.  He hates it and has been waking up crying in the middle of the night.  Just praying at this point for him to find peace.




I am adding on to this because I forgot to write something funny this morning, and I was late for work.

Many years ago I was driving my mom and I to Fredericksburg for a weekend trip to visit my grandmother.  I was excited for my mom to hear Gillian Welch, who I had just discovered and thought was amazing.  I popped in her first CD, "Hell Among the Yearlings", and was instantly taken to another time and place, and of course, calmed by her voice.  My mom quietly listened to about four songs, then in the middle of the fifth song, with her face totally deadpan, said, "If you don't take that depressing CD out I will grab the steering wheel and plunge the car into the next ravine we cross."

So I did.  To each his (or her) own, I guess!  Makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Cousin sleepover swap

Two or three times a year, we do a Cousin swap weekend with my parents.  Friday night my niece stays with us and my nephew stays with my parents (or vice versa), then Saturday they switch houses.  Saturday night we all eat dinner together.  It is super fun and works really well because it means Cade and Macy are here one at a time with Gabriel and will play with him.  When they're here together he sort of gets lost in the shuffle. 

This weekend was all about the Olympics and our backyard water park.  

Look at how Macy has her head tilted just right to the side.  It is so inbred in girls to pose for pictures!  What a cutie.

Time for bed!  I love this picture, and I love it when Cade and Macy can spend time with us.  Hooray!

Backyard Decathlon!

I'm trying to wrap up the summer posts.  Because even though it's only mid-August, our summer is basically over since Gabriel has started school.

We had Olympic fever at our house.  Before they started, I decided to try to get the boys geared up by holding the first annual Backyard Decathlon.  We started out by having our own parade of countries, marching around the back yard while I hummed the Olympic theme.  Then it was time for the competition to begin.  Our categories were things like Ladder Jumping and Purple Ball Throwing.  Whoever won got to stand on the upside-down ball bucket and be presented their medal, along with a kiss on each cheek from Mommy.  It was great fun, and we WILL do this again, even in a non-Olympic year.  

One new fun thing that we've been doing this summer is glow stick bubble baths.  We fill up the tub with bubbles, get the sticks going and flip off the lights.  INSTANT FUN!!!   I can't put into words how much the boys love this.  We got the idea from Gabriel's former school friend Luke's mom, who has a blog where she tries out things from Pinterest and posts about the results.  She started the blog because she felt she was wasting a bunch of time in the evenings, and had lost her creative spark sometime in the middle of having children (didn't we all?)   Here's a link if you're interested.  I have a list going of things I want to try from it.  

My mom's birthday was at our house, very last minutely thrown together.  Which can sometimes be very, very fun.

The Birthday Girl

I'm kind of proud of my pretty Turk's Cap centerpiece, clipped from the garden that morning.

Joel, showing his "Cheese-y" smile, with his Aunt April.

Now I need to still finish up with a Cousin weekend post, and my fabulous NY/NJ trip post.  

My Friday song

Love Brazilian music, love music that makes me think of walking along the beach.  This offers both.




I wish I was on a beach with my family.  This has been a tough week.

First day of school!

Gabriel bravely marched into Kindergarten this morning.  We had an open house Saturday to meet the teacher, who was not the teacher we were expecting.  They hired a teacher one week before school started, we think because the teacher from last year didn't want to deal with 22 Kindergarteners.  This greatly upset me because I was worried it would upset Gabriel.  He doesn't accept change very well.  But, "Mrs. B" seems like she has her stuff together and has been teaching this age for a LONG time.  Some of her best quotes from open house:

"I love my kids, but it's tough love".

"I don't want parents in my classroom.  You can peek in the window over the bushes if you're that concerned about what's happening in here, but kids don't act the same when their parents are in the room"

"My goal is to make them self-sufficient and independent by the end of the year".

Well, my fears melted away with every word the woman said.  And since my kid picks up on my approval or disapproval with some sort of internal radar, he seemed excited to get started this morning.  I walked him in and dropped him off with two other kids melting down and one little girl totally ok.  The rest of them hadn't shown up yet.  He didn't seem upset at all, and a miraculous thing happened.  I didn't shed a tear.  Not one.  Didn't even well up.

The only thing I was sad about was Joel.  He and Gabriel have been inseparable this summer, and now Baba is gone all day.  I think he'll be ok once his preschool starts back after Labor Day, but until then I'm trying to play with him and fill the void that his brother has left.

Of course, after all the praising I gave Gabriel when I picked him up, he decided to COMPLETELY melt down about going back tomorrow while I was putting him to bed.  Seemed he had thought about things and decided he didn't want to be gone away from home that long each day.  But I think it had more to do with the excitement of starting school coupled with a late afternoon VERY HOT swim lesson that wore him out.

We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Christmas in July 2012!

Yesterday was the official 3rd annual Villarreal Christmas in July!!!!!   We ramped it up a few notches this year.  And just to be clear, this is purely a pagan celebration.  Maybe we shouldn't call it Christmas, but come on people, don't take things too seriously.  We save the more serious stuff for December.  

Here's why our day was really special.  

1.  Stay in pajamas all morning.  

2.  Watch a Christmas show or movie, or several.  This year we watched Rudolph.  

3.  Dance around like crazy people to Christmas music.  Gabriel requested Brave Combo first, of course.  Then we did a little interpretive dancing to The Nutcracker.

 4.  Make a carpet angel.  My son's idea, which I thought was brilliant.

5.  Bake cookies!  We didn't want to spend much time on making them from scratch, so we used the Nestle Toll House pre-cut numbers and added red and green M&M's.  BTW, you can't find JUST red and green M&M's this time of year.  I had to weed them out of a multicolored pack.

6.  Go to Dallas for a trip to Froggy's, the greatest toy store in the whole world!!!  I forgot to take any pics while we spent over a hour just browsing.  It was great because when we go in December the store is always packed, and there was no one in there today.

7.  Eat at Chuy's.  Yum, yum, yum.

8.  Save some cookies for dessert after Chuy's.

 9.  Picture next to Harry's Hot Dog hot dog.  It's just become part of the tradition.

10.  Show off the toys you got at Froggy's:  Gabriel picked out a talking Lost in Space bobblehead robot.

Joel just wanted a garbage truck.

And finally, one pooped Daddy.  Mommy was totally worn out too.  But we're already looking forward to next year!!

My new addictions

Number 1 - Coffee.  I tried drinking coffee when I was in my 20's but never liked the taste.  I would end up putting in so much cream and sugar that I might as well have called it Sweet Cream with Mocha flavoring.  Well, lately I've become really hooked on Diet Coke, and it seems like I need more and more.  The more I've tried to give it up the more I craved it.  I've also been reading that the medical experts are now finding out that having one or two cups of coffee a day actually has health benefits.  And after all, common sense tells me that something natural like coffee has to be better for you than the bunch of chemicals that is diet soda.

So I thought I would give it a try, and within a few days I was drinking it with only one tsp of sugar and a dollop of milk.  I LOVE the bitter taste.  I can't get enough of it.  I'm having to really watch myself and stay true to my "only two cups a day" limit.  It's so interesting how your tastes can change as you get older.

Number 2 - Downton Abbey.  My mother has been raving about it, and so has my friend Christi, who seems to like so many things that I do.  I've always loved anything Maggie Smith does, so knew I would probably like it.  Mom brought over Season 1 and it sat for a few weeks gathering dust.  But once I popped it in, within two minutes of the opening I was hooked.  The beginning scene is a telegraph office sending word to "the family" that the father and son heirs to the Downton estate and all that implies have been lost at sea with the Titanic sinking.  Pretty good beginning to rope you in.  Even though I don't know anything about the other actors besides Smith, I already have my favorites - and they all have been nominated for Emmys!  As well they should!

I have the second season waiting on my shelf to start, but the new 3rd season doesn't start until January 6th of next year.  So I'm sort of trying to savor it, just like my cup of coffee every morning!

Birthdays and big surprises

I can't believe I forgot to post this!  On May 20th, which is my sister-in-law's birthday, we went to a very nice restaurant in Oak Cliff that served Mexican food similar to the kind you get in Monterrey.  We were also celebrating her boyfriend Michael's birthday, which had fallen earlier in the month.  

It was special in that Michael's two daughters and his older sister even joined us.  We had a big, long table and everyone seemed to love the food and atmosphere.

I think it was sweet that Michael picked out this restaurant in the hope that Sandra's parents would like the food and feel at home.

Lizzie and Grace.  We had not seen Grace for almost a year when we met for this dinner.  She will be a sophomore in high school.  That explains alot.

The boys loved the mariachis.  They sang two songs at our table and were very LOUD.

We had cake and then it was time for presents.  We didn't think it was odd at all that Michael's big present to Sandra was a Chef's knife.  That is a big deal for Michael, who is one of the best cooks whose food I've had the pleasure of eating.

But then, he said he had one more gift.  And he pulled out a little box, and started backing up his chair.  I got goose bumps from the bottom of my feet all up to the top of my head and started hoping the thing we had hoped for was about to happen.  I think I was so worked up that Gabriel got concerned that something was wrong.

But no, everything was wonderful!!!  He popped the question right there, in front of the whole restaurant, and more importantly, in front of all of us.  What an incredibly sweet thing to do, to include us in that joyful moment.  I was laughing and crying more than anyone but Sandra, because I remember how wonderful it feels.  It hasn't been that long since I got to have that happy moment, and I remember like it was yesterday.

We were starting to accept that it might not happen.  They've been together for 3-1/2 years.  And we were ready to accept that if she was happy.  He'd been married before and we thought he just wasn't going to go down that road again.  But I'm so happy we were wrong!!  This is just so much better.  They are making plans, and talking things over.  They probably won't have a really big wedding, but Jav contends that Sandra would never get married without her family around her.  And I'm sure Michael knows this.

What a happy, happy day!!!!!

Fun with (mommy's) glasses

Give them a few years and they will probably both need them for real!

Big changes

My dad and Jav spent the 4th of July putting them together (at my dad's suggestion).  This all seemed like a good idea at the time.  It would free up our weekend a little more.

We had been going back and forth about whether or not to let Joel start sleeping in the bottom bunk, straight from the crib, or to let him sleep in Gabriel's old bed for awhile.  He's still really loud when he wakes up at night and has a tendency to wake up earlier than Gabriel.  We decided on Gabriel's old bed because with Gabriel about to start Kinder right around the corner (August 13!!!!!!!), I want him to have some good night's sleep under his belt.  The problem with this arrangement is that the bunk beds are going in Joel's current room, so that means not only would Joel be sleeping in a new bed for the first time, he would be in a different room also.  And on the first night all of this was to take place, there were fireworks popping all around us until late into the night.  How many things could we possibly throw into the mix to make sure he didn't sleep?  Sheesh.

Here is the finished product, with a very happy customer up top.  I thought he might not like it once he got up there, but I was wrong.  But Joel was very restless and had trouble sleeping.  Jav finally went in and slept with him in the bed that first night.

But things have settled down and now Joel loves his new bed.  I mean LOVES.  He can't wait to go to bed at night.  He was waking up early with the early sunrise (he has West Texas hillbilly in his blood), so we got some Eclipse blackout curtains from Target and he's now sleeping until 8 on weekends and I have to wake him up most weekday mornings.  Woohoo!!!

He's not smiling in these pics, but it's because the moment he gets in bed he gets really sleepy.  What happened to my baby boys?  They're so big!

I would be such a nerd without you

I must thank you, Julie, for turning me on to so many good bands, past and present, that I might never found myself.  I heard this on KXT, our public radio gem that I can't get enough of, and thought it was solo Neko Case (you burned me 2 of her CD's a couple of years back and I love her now).  But then looked it up on You Tube to find it was a band you turned me on to through one of our Girls Trips CD's, who Neko Case sings for sometimes.

Right now my boys think I am the coolest mom musically, ever.  I know that will change, but I will try to retain at least a tiny bit of my musical hipness as they (and I) get older.  Keep helping me, Julie!  I'll need you more than ever now!!!

Isn't this one of the coolest songs, ever?  Love the cello and the whistling.

T-ball - Successful or Not?

Gabriel played "Spring" t-ball, his first time to try baseball.  Why they called it spring when it started May 23 is beyond me.  It was stinkin' hot at those games.  We wondered how he would like it. Soccer wasn't too fun for him, which I partially blame on having lousy coaches.  The TCU kids were super nice, but they didn't know a thing about communicating with and motivating kids that young.  So we knew it might all depend on Gabriel's coach (or coaches) and hoped he would get a good one.

Here he is at his first actual game getting his first actual hit.  Pretty good camera work Daddy!  His coaches were wonderful.  Coach Rick and Coach Jaime both had sons on the team and were very good about teaching the kids why they were doing what they were doing.  They were patient when they needed to be, but also tough with the boys if it was called for.

Look at the variation of sizes on his team!  Evan (#10) looked like a 3rd or 4th grader.  Little Aidan (between #5 and #4) was the shortest team member, but also the scrappiest.  He kept trying to either run away from practice and games, or was starting scuffles with his team mates.  Aside:  There were two Aidans on our team, and at least one on every other team.  Popular name!  The boys were also very varied on their skill level.  Maybe because of their size, Evan and Johnny were great at fielding.  I'm wondering if this was supposed to be for Kindergardeners and their parents held them back a year.  Don't know how that works with the age rules at the Y.

Gabriel did really well at hitting with a tee.  But when they switched to coach pitch he couldn't seem to hit the ball.  When he was playing third he would mostly stand there and yawn the whole game.  I thought (hoped) at first that he was nervous and breathing more shallow, and the lack of oxygen was making him yawn.  But Jav just looked at me when I suggested this and said, "He's bored silly."  I will say that he wanted to practice throwing, catching and hitting MUCH more than he wanted to practice soccer.  But it was still usually around a promise of getting to do something else after 10-15 minutes of practicing.  Jav bought a tee and rubber home plate and bases for him to run around.  If nothing else it did help him understand what he was supposed to do a little more.  And he greatly improved his throwing and catching with practice.  But during games, when the ball was hit towards him, he just stood as if glued to the grass while his teammates scrambled around him trying to get the ball.  This is very frustrating to watch as a parent.  But I did pretty good most of the time and let the coaches reprimand him.  Most of the time.

This picture was taken during their last game, after he got a hit and ran to first.  The game before this one he got a hit and barely jogged to first and was out.  I was screaming at him to run faster.  The only time during the season I wish I had duct taped my mouth.  Coach Rick told him to be sure and run as fast as he could next time.  So when he got the hit before the pic was taken, he ran his little heart out and was looking over at me for approval when he made it on base.  This makes me wonder if all of his playing is for pleasing parents instead of pleasing himself.  Something I never have to wonder when I hear or see him playing the drums.  Sigh.

My sister-in-law Sandra took this awesome shot just after they got their trophies.  She and Jav's mom came to almost every game.   I liked that Coach Rick told each player how many hits, RBIs and outs each team member got before giving them their trophy.  I think the "let's give a trophy to every kid" doesn't really do anything to drive them to do better the next season.  Hearing some of the higher numbers his team mates had, Gabriel said on the way home, "I bet if I had gotten the most, we would all be really proud of me right now".  We told him that we were SO proud of him already, because he had gone to every practice and game, and had tried his best.  

We'll see if he wants to play when next "Spring" rolls around.  I hope so, but not too much.